7. Thoren
CHAPTER SEVEN
thoren
I step into the kitchen, pulling the wine and beer she brought from the fridge. “What can I get you to drink before I start the grill?”
“That wine looks amazing, thanks. Can I help with anything for dinner?”
“Nope, it’s all prepped and ready.” I hand her a glass of wine before slipping the bottle back into the fridge. “Do you mind carrying my beer out to the deck?” I ask, nodding to the bottle as I grab the platters of food from the fridge. “If you want, you can ask me some of your questions while I cook?”
She grabs her bag, my beer, and her wine, holding the back door open for me as we both slip out onto the deck. I have the string lights on, even with the sun still glimmering through the trees. The table is set with plates, silverware, and the vase of flowers.
Lily sets everything down to lean over and smell the flowers. Her jumper rides higher up the backs of her thighs, giving me the slightest glimpse of her ass beneath. I almost fumble the tray before getting it set up on the side of the grill, distracted by that tantalizing bit of skin. When I turn back around, she’s sitting in a chair and pulling out a notebook.
“Those flowers smell amazing. My ex used to send me flowers at work sometimes. I forgot how much I love the smell of them.”
Now I feel like a jackass that I didn’t just tell her I got them for her. This isn’t a date. “You can take those home with you, if you want.”
“And take the joy of seeing and smelling them away from you? Absolutely not,” she says, so matter of fact. It’s sweet that she thinks I have flowers sitting around and doesn’t even bat an eye at it. Like it’s totally normal that a single man buys himself flowers.
“What questions do you have for me?” I ask, lighting the grill.
“I was hoping you could start with just explaining the basics of baseball to me. I know they try to hit the ball and then run the bases, and I know what a home run is, and that there are innings with tops and bottoms. If I’m honest, I don’t really get the tops and bottoms parts. Or how their game cluster things work.”
I chuckle, filing this away to tell Riv tomorrow. He will get an absolute kick out of her summary of the game. I multitask, grilling and explaining the ins and outs of baseball. I explain the rules, the games, the teams in the league, biggest rivals, really everything I can think of. Lily listens intently, writing down notes for things she finds important or relevant, and asks clarifying questions when needed. By the time the salmon, potatoes, and veggies are done, she has three pages of notes written down.
I’m bringing everything over to the table when she stands, grabbing my empty beer bottle. “Can I get you another?”
“I have to feed Shadow, so I can grab another. Can I get you more wine?” Instead of allowing me, she grabs her glass in her other hand and follows me inside. I fill Shadow’s bowls with food and water while Lily gets us more drinks, then we sneak back outside before Shadow notices us leaving.
“Cheers,” Lily says, holding up her wine glass. “To making new friends and not having to eat every meal alone. Thank you for this tonight. All your help, really.”
That friend word wipes the genuine smile from my face, but I plaster a small fake one anyway. Tipping the neck of my bottle to her, I clink it lightly against the glass. “I’ll cheers to that. I’m truly happy to help.”
We both take a sip, our eyes never leaving each other. Lily is the first to dig into her salmon while I watch the way her lips wrap lightly around the fork with her first bite. I grip my bottle tight as a small moan slips from her mouth.
“This might be the best fish I’ve ever had,” she groans out, already scooping up another bite. Her whole body melts as she savors her next bite. “I’m going to need you to make this for me again. Once will not be enough.”
I agree with the sentiment. Watching her fawn over my cooking is something I will want to see again and again. “We can make dinners together a weekly tradition, but you’ll have to be willing to try out some of my other recipes.”
I finally take my first bite, still watching her eat. Her eyes close every time her fork meets her lips, her hum of satisfaction sending blood rushing south.
“We can trade houses every other week. Don’t tempt me with an offer you can’t hold up to. You know I don’t love cooking for one,” she says, her shy smile is soft and mirrored by mine.
Dinner with her every week sounds amazing. I want to know her. What makes her laugh, what makes her smile, what makes her blush; and then I want to be the one to make her do all three. I want to know what she turns to when she’s upset, what she wants out of life, and who her hero is. And this right here is the exact reason Jake and River think I’m going to blow this. I don’t do anything half-assed, when I’m in, I am ALL in. It’s been two weeks and I can already tell she is the complete opposite of Jen. Everything I was missing from her, is wrapped beautifully in Lily.
“Before we jump into the questions about River’s life, tell me something about you.”
She sets down her fork, and takes a sip of her wine, deep in thought. “My favorite color is purple. Specifically, the shades in a lilac bush. My neighbor growing up was obsessed with the smell of lilacs, and every year tried to plant a lilac bush. Most of them died because they aren’t meant for the harsh temperatures. But for the few weeks she kept them alive, their color and their scent was my favorite thing.”
“My parents have two large lilac bushes outside of the kitchen window. My mom loves to open the window when they are in bloom. The whole house will smell like them for weeks on end.”
“When it comes time for me to tackle landscaping, I want to plant a few around my deck. I’ve got a black thumb though, I might have to ask your mom how to keep them alive,” she laughs to herself, oblivious to the smile on my face. She wants to talk to my mom. I clear my throat, dislodging the urge to beg her to meet my family tomorrow.
“I think she would love that. Alright, what do you want to know about River’s life?”
She pulls out her notebook and pen again, looking over the list of questions. “Did he always know he was going to play baseball professionally?”
“Yeah,” I think back to our high school days. He was gifted then already. Not to say he didn’t work his ass off for it, because he did. River was just naturally talented from a young age. He had deadly accuracy with throwing and catching, and had a much bigger build than me back then. “He was scouted in high school, and recruited straight to the Rainiers. They kept him on the farm team while he was in college to really hone his skills and help him bulk up. He has been on the MLB team ever since.”
“Wow, your parents must be really proud to have successful and athletic kids.”
I choke on my sip of beer and cough it up on the deck. She did not just put River and I in the same category, but I like that she noticed one part. “You think I’m athletic?”
Her cheeks flush a deep crimson, as she flusters her words. “Well, you know, you uhhh, you had no shirt on the other morning.” She gestures at my body across the table from her, “And you are clearly big, so I assume since you do rescues, and uhhh, you know.”
A deep laugh rumbles through my chest. “I am big, thank you for noticing. I run too, great stamina.” I wink at her, watching the flush travel all the way down her chest. “What’s your next question?”
She writes down my previous answer, then reads the next. “Has his fame impacted his relationships?”
“Most of them, maybe even all of them. Starting in high school, as soon as the scouts started coming around, girls started flocking to him like seagulls on fries at the beach. Even friends started treating him like a meal ticket. Since then, he has had one relationship that seemed genuine, but she couldn’t handle the travel schedule. Between people wanting him for his status and money, and those unable to handle the grueling schedule and chaos that inevitably follows him, he’s struggled. He started seeing a new woman recently. I haven’t met her yet but he said she seems like a good egg.”
His life is something I would never want for myself. I enjoy an easy schedule, a lot of time at home and in the woods, and genuine connections. I’ve never been one to put an emphasis on material things. Not that River is big on material things either, he’s great with his money, and humble about his success. Regardless, there is an expectation in the professional sports world, and the women that chase those men seem to have big expectations, too.
We have lived very different lives since we moved out of our parents’ house, but I’m grateful we are still as close as we are. He’s my hero in a lot of ways, and I truly want the best for him. Getting to make a trip to Seattle to watch him play isn’t so bad either. I’m beyond proud of him.
Lily seems oblivious to the fact I’ve been lost in my thoughts. She seems to be contemplating that life as well. Her quiet voice breaks the silence as she writes down my answer. “I think not being seen and liked for who you are down to your soul is one of life’s greatest tragedies.”
She looks up when she’s done, her eyes muted and rimmed in sadness. It makes me question if anyone has taken the time to really see her for all that she is. “Okay,” she clears her throat, breaking the moment. “Here’s an easy one. What are the relationships between the teammates and staff like?”
I bark out a laugh, “That is far from easy. There have been seasons where he raves how the whole team is in sync and everyone gels, and seasons where one new trade can throw off the whole dynamic and create divides where there weren’t before. His coaching staff has stayed pretty consistent and there is a level of mutual respect between most of them. From what he has said though, the Rainiers management seems pretty selective on who they hire and trade. A scandal can make them turn down a player, no matter their ability or stats.”
“So like most jobs then, one bad apple can sour the whole bunch. Last one for now, what does game day look like? How early does he get there, do they really all shower together after and go to the bars with each other, or is that a fable other romance books have sold me?”
That gives me an idea, and I know Riv will pull out all the stops for it if I ask. “Would you like to go to a game and see for yourself? I’m sure he can sneak you onto the field and behind the scenes a little and show you the game day routine in person.”
The minute the words leave my mouth, I regret them. What if this is what she was hoping for with this questioning? What if she just wants a chance to meet him, and a chance at trying to catch his eye? I know some of the guys on his team; if Riv takes her around them they will flirt mercilessly and try to take her home.
Lily immediately puts all those fears to bed when she simply asks, “Would you go with me?”
I swallow the lump in my throat and smile at her. “Yeah, if you want me to.”
Her smile is immediate and lights her whole face, “I would love to then. This can be so good for my book, and I’ve never been to Seattle. Can we go to Pike Place Market? Oooh, and see the Space Needle? I need to order a jersey. Are they called jerseys in baseball, too?”
“I’ll call River this week and see when is a good time for us to come. We can see whatever you would like while we are there,” I chuckle at her enthusiasm. I’m not a big city guy, but I can admit that Seattle is eclectic and fun to visit and explore. I got my fill of it in college, but I would be thrilled to show her around. The view from the top of the Space Needle on a clear day is incredible, and I would love to watch Lily experience it.
“Do you think he would be okay if I brought my notebook with? I promise not to bombard him with questions but I like to write things down and may have a few things to ask. I’m a little neurotic about lists and writing things down,” she says, swirling her wine in the glass.
“He already told me he’s happy to answer whatever I can’t. Bring a whole binder if you need, he would love it.”
She smiles at me, and I want to capture this moment. The last of the fading sun is reflecting in her eyes, brightening the usually moody blue and highlighting the brown tones in her hair. Her clear skin looks soft to the touch, my fingers itching to reach forward and stroke down her cheek.
Shadow’s bark at the back door draws our attention, breaking my moment of revery. “I guess she’s done with dinner too,” Lily jokes, standing as she starts collecting the dishes. I collect the ones she can’t carry, and we head inside to put them in the kitchen. Without asking, she starts clearing the plates and putting them in the dishwasher, so I grab containers for the leftovers.
When everything is put away, I curl my fingers under the countertop, taking in Lily. “Do you want to stay for a bit? We can watch a movie or just enjoy the evening air on the porch.”
“A movie sounds good. Can I ask a personal question?”
“Sure,” I guide her to the living room with a light touch at the small of her back.The heat of her skin under the thin fabric seeps into my fingers.
“Do you get lonely, too? Overwhelmed by the quiet at times?”
I contemplate it before deciding on honesty. “Yes, I do. I was in a relationship for a long time, and while we only lived together for a short time, I still get lonely living alone now. Shadow helps, it’s never too quiet with her around, and it’s someone to talk to even if she doesn’t talk back.” Shadow jumps on the couch in between us as we sit, letting out a huff. “Well, not always at least. Are you lonely in the cabin?”
“More than I would like to admit. I’m used to being alone, but I always had a job to go to during the day. I saw people at the office, talked with co-workers at lunch. Sometimes I went out with them for drinks after. I guess I didn’t realize when I moved here just how much time I would be spending alone. It’s an adjustment, that’s for sure.”
I notice she doesn’t call anyone friends, just co-workers. I think her life has been lonelier for longer than she is admitting, it’s just more apparent now.
“I guess we need to get you out more then,” I try to make light of the heavy weight now surrounding us. “Shadow is also available for company anytime you would like.”
I give my best girl a scratch behind the ear, then grab the remote off the coffee table. I want to tell her that she doesn’t have to be lonely. That I will happily spend every free moment with her. But Jake and River are in the back of my mind, reminding me not to blow this and jump in too fast. “What type of shows do you normally watch?” I ask, pulling up Netflix.
“I like rom-coms, action, and comedy. Lately, I have been watching this show to prepare me for winter here,” she says while absent-mindedly petting Shadow.
“What show is that?”
She turns to me, that flush creeping up her cheeks again. “Umm, it’s called Alone.”
My head tips back with a loud laugh, my shoulders shaking with the intensity of it. I laugh so hard I snort, then try to calm myself and look over to see her looking utterly embarrassed.
“I’m sorry, I am not laughing at you. It’s just… our winters aren’t like that in the show. The snow isn’t even that bad some years.” I can see her shutting down and I instantly feel like an asshole. There are little things that she gets embarrassed from and scared of easily, and I can’t help but wonder who in her past caused her to be that way. “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I have learned some great survival techniques from that show. What season are you on?”
“We don’t have to watch it,” her quiet voice bleeds across the couch to me.
Fuck, I messed up laughing at that. I love the show, I even thought about applying to be on it in the future. The winters here in the mountains can be bad, but they are nothing like being stranded alone in the woods with a few select items for months at a time. I get that she doesn’t know what to expect from a winter here though, and it is better to have some knowledge rather than going in blind.
I click on the title, hovering over the seasons, “You better tell me or we are starting over at season one.”
“Fine, season two, episode four.”
I click onto it and hit play, then reach over and put my hand on hers, giving it a light squeeze. “I love this show, I’m sorry I laughed. Winter in a new climate can be intimidating, but I’ll help you make it through. I promise.”
The edges of her lips tilt up as she turns back to the TV, leaving her hand under mine. Surprisingly, Shadow doesn’t even nudge our hands apart. She’s usually greedy and wants hands only on her, but since ours are resting on her, I guess it’s good enough. The first episode bleeds into the second, which turns into the third. I stop the show before the fourth episode starts, glancing over to see Lily fast asleep. I’m not sure when it happened, but she’s leaning against an equally dead to the world Shadow, her feet tucked up under her.
I stealthily slip from my spot on the couch and take a photo of them together. Even in her sleep, her beauty is astounding. I want to pick her up and deposit her in my bed, but I don’t think that will go over well. Kneeling in front of her, I gently shake her leg to wake her.
“Hey, you fell asleep,” I whisper, this time not stopping myself from reaching out and tucking her hair behind her ear. Her sleepy eyes blink at me before they warm and crinkle at the edges.
“Sorry,” she yawns as I sit back so she can unfold herself from the couch.“Thank you for everything tonight. Dinner was so good. You set the bar high for when someone cooks for me again.”
I don’t want anyone else cooking for her. I like that I am the only one to make her a meal, even if it’s fucked up that none of her exes ever did. Instead of sharing that fact, I help her to her feet and lead her to the kitchen to grab her things.
“I’ll leave those here for Shadow.” She points to the container of treats, then turns to the furry pup sitting at her feet. “Only if you’re being a good girl.”
“Let me drive you home,” I say, grabbing my keys as we head to the door.
“It’s a five minute walk from your front door to mine.” She rolls her eyes, like it’s no big deal, but I don’t care. It’s late and dark, and she’s tired so I’m not taking no for an answer. I leave Shadow in the house and follow her out, opening my passenger door for her. “Thank you. You really don’t have to.”
“I want to,” I reply simply, closing the door behind her and rounding the front to get in. It takes less than a minute to get to her house but I don’t care. I take care of what’s mine, and whether she knows it or not, Lily feels like mine.
“Have a good night, Thoren.”
“Goodnight Lily.” I watch her climb out and shut my door, not pulling away until she is locked safely inside her cabin.