Chapter 9
NINE
CAL - PAST
I sit up from where I’d been positioned before my rifle and jump when I realize that there’s someone behind me. “Fucking hell. I guess I’d have been dead ten times over at this point. I had no idea you were there,” I admit.
Grayson laughs. “What can I say? I’m light on my feet… I’m stealthy as fuck… I’m, uhh… just that good. Or maybe you were concentrating very hard.”
“It’s because Lt. Allen is asking the impossible,” I say, looking off in the distance where my last shot landed. “For that distance, he really needs someone better.”
Grayson doesn’t seem convinced as he shakes his head. “Nah, you can do it.”
“I’m not sure I can,” I counter. “What if I fuck up? I mean, maybe if it was a completely still day with not a speck of wind and the target never moved, I could make it. But once you add in target movement, a small target, and wind…”
There’s a pair of binoculars in my bag that Grayson stoops down and picks up.
After the first job that Lt. Allen asked me to do, he’s called a couple more times over the past two months with a job for me.
Most of the time it’s simple things, and as of yet, he hasn’t actually needed me.
I’ve been there in case things went wrong, and thankfully, every time they’ve gone right.
“You only have to shoot if things go wrong,” Grayson says. “I have faith things are going to go just fine. Lt. Allen generally has a pretty solid idea of how things are going to go down. It’ll be okay and you probably won’t even be needed.”
“I know…”
He peers through the binoculars for a minute before lowering them and raising an eyebrow.
“Excuse me, can we rewind? Like why was I even trying to reassure you? Not only did you hit the target, you hit the center. What in the world was all of that ‘You need a better gunman, I can’t do this, blah blah’ nonsense? ”
I’m trying my hardest not to grin because I feel like if I do, he will just use it as confirmation that he’s right. “I only hit it because there’s no wind today.”
Grayson points at the trees as the leaves rustle in the breeze. “There’s no wind?”
My hair blows into my eyes like even the wind wants to mock me, and though it’s making me blink up a storm, I refuse to move it and prove his point. “Okay. There’s not a lot of wind.”
“You think we’re going to be doing this during a tornado?”
“Maybe!”
He shakes his head and grins at me. “Fucking hell, that’s a nice shot,” he says as he lifts the binoculars to stare at it again.
I’m trying, and failing horribly, not to feel giddy over this. Honestly, it’s so ridiculous and foolish of me.
Grayson lowers them enough I can see his blue eyes fixated right on me. “Can you do it again?”
“You want to watch?”
“I sure do.”
“What if I get stage fright?”
“What’s the saying? Just think of everyone else naked.”
I laugh as I lie back down. “I’m pretty sure that’s for giving speeches. And it really doesn’t help in this situation.” Truthfully, it just makes me significantly more distracted. The last thing I need to think of is this man naked. My mind already wanders too much when I’m alone with him.
“The team wants to get together for dinner and drinks tonight. You good to go?”
I nod. “Yeah, I told Devon I’d be there.”
“Good,” he says as I find the target and without hesitation, I pull the trigger.
Grayson lets out a low whistle. “Fucking hell… Did you even have time to look?”
“I wasn’t that fast.”
“You really are far too modest, you know that? If I made a shot like that, I’d be peeling that target off and hauling it around to make sure everyone was well aware. Like ‘Look what I can do!’ I’d probably tape it to my shirt so people could witness the accuracy.”
I laugh as I sit up so I can look up at him. “You’re being ridiculous now. I feel like the moment you tape it to your shirt, you’re claiming you’re the target.”
“I’m definitely not being ridiculous. I’m surprised they even let you leave the military. If I was in charge of you, I’d have been like, ‘Look at this nice fun bonus you could have.’”
“They expressed their desire for me to stay, but I was done. This is okay. This is like… once every month or couple of months. I don’t mind this. It’s actually kind of nice, but to do it full time… I don’t think I can do that anymore.”
“I get it. I really do. I think if I didn’t have the freedom I currently do, I also wouldn’t be here. You want to drive over to dinner together?” Grayson asks.
I immediately perk up. “I would love to.” Did that sound too eager? Definitely too eager. Maybe something a bit less eager, like… “Yeah, I mean… if we’re both going there, we might as well ride together, yah?” What’s the “yah” for?
He just laughs and helps me clean up. My friend Tate had given me a ride here since my car was giving me fits, so it’s nice he won’t have to swing by and pick me up since he’ll be heading to the bar and grill from the opposite direction.
I put my rifle into the back of Grayson’s car before sliding into the front passenger seat. “I always get nervous that something really is going to go wrong.”
“I have faith that Lt. Allen has things organized,” Grayson says. “It’s better to have you and not need you than regret not having you.”
“Yeah… What if we get like three snipers so that if I fuck up there are two more to handle it?”
He laughs. “I really don’t think it’s that risky of an operation. And if you can’t handle it, I have my doubts anyone else can.”
“Your flattery gets you nowhere.”
Grayson glances over at me and grins. “You sure about that?”
Why the fuck is he such a smooth talker on top of everything? Or is it just my brain that’s decided he is? “It gets you a little somewhere but nowhere fast.”
His lips quirk up just a little more. “You sure about that ?”
“Stop making me second-guess myself!” I tease.
He merely shakes his head as he drives. “Did you hear we need to be at the airport by four on Saturday?”
“Excuse me… no… that’s so early! I have a late class Friday night too. I need to be in bed by like… six to get up that early.”
Grayson glances away from the road to grin at me. “Aren’t college kids supposed to stay up late drinking every night and get up early for class every morning?”
“You misunderstand. I am an old man going to college. Not a ‘college kid.’”
“If you are old, I’m ancient. What are you going to school for?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“Business… I guess. But I’m only one semester in and starting to think that… maybe business isn’t for me.”
“What do you enjoy doing?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I… I thought about social work.”
“What kind of social work?”
“Like… with kids. I just… don’t think I’d actually be any good at it, you know?”
“What made you decide you wouldn’t be good at it?” Grayson asks. “You know how much better it is to do something you enjoy? And social work sounds like a really good job. I think that’s a fantastic idea.”
“Yeah but… the majority of people in social work are women… not men out of the military whose only skill is shooting people.”
“I’m not sure how you could possibly believe that’s your only skill.
And do you think all of the children who social workers help are children who want to be helped by women?
Some children were mistreated and abused by women and would absolutely love to be helped by a man.
You’re always knocking yourself down. I’ve noticed that you can never believe that you did a good job at anything.
You’ll make a shot that I’ve never seen anyone make and do it with so much ease, and then you will look me in the eyes and tell me that you’re not good enough.
Who made you think that you were never good enough? ”
I frown because this is definitely not how I wanted to spend my precious alone time with Grayson.
I wanted to flirt with him and be like, “Hey, look at me,” and instead, I’ve made a fool of myself.
Now I’m left thinking about my shitty-as-fuck mother who made sure I was aware that I was never worth anything.
“Let’s talk about something else.”
Grayson’s silent for a moment, and I can’t tell whether that means he’s not planning to or will grudgingly agree. “Okay. But don’t ignore what I said. You are so much better than you seem to think you are.”
“Thanks,” I say quietly.
“Now if you want to compliment me, I won’t complain,” he teases.
I laugh, and I’m glad for the joke to break up the tension in the car. “Oh man… where do I even start? I don’t think we have a long enough drive.”
“We still have ten minutes.”
“I don’t know if I’d even get through a quarter of my list in ten minutes!”
He laughs and I love the sound of it, but I feel like maybe I shouldn’t start with that. If I do, I might really seem like some lovesick teen.
“I’m waiting to hear a list of magnificent things about myself.”
“Are you secretly a narcissist?”
“Secretly? No. I’m prepared to lay it all out there. I love attention and compliments. Like… look how pretty I am!”
“You are so pretty.”
I can’t even look over at him because he’s too busy patting his “pretty” face. “Thank you! I bet when I told you to think of people naked back there, you were thinking of me.”
I try my best not to blush. How successful I am depends on who you ask, because I sure as shit don’t think I’m successful at all. “Oh yes, that was my first thought, actually. Didn’t you see how quick I was to drop down and stare through a scope so I didn’t have to look at you naked?”
“You were definitely missing out,” he says with a grin.
“I’m sure I was.”
Grayson pulls into the parking lot of the bar and grill. “I feel like I gave you ample time to tell me everything amazing about me, and I only got that you would rather stare at a target than look at me naked.”
“I think that maybe you made that up.”
“Oh… so you’d rather stare at me?”