Chapter 10
TEN
CAL - PRESENT
When Antonio told me he was going to drive the SUV through a greenhouse, I really thought he was joking.
When he drives the SUV into a greenhouse, I realize he wasn’t joking at all.
“Antonio, are you trying to murder us?” I yell.
“It’s fine! We’re all fine. Now I’m going to turn the getaway vehicle around while I wait for you.”
“The last time that happened, you got fucking abducted!” I cry.
“I don’t plan to this time!” he says, as though he planned to last time.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter as I see people come running. “You know my skills are stealth, right? Like lying down in some bush with a rifle and hoping I don’t get poison ivy.”
I get out of the car with gun in hand and see a couple of others reach for their weapons in response, but there are a lot fewer who have guns than I’d originally thought.
Grayson leisurely gets out of the vehicle as well, evidently not too concerned about them murdering us.
“Give me the two guys we came with and we’ll leave without starting a damn thing,” I demand, not actually wanting to leave without starting shit. I really do want to start some shit, but I know that I don’t have it in me to start a whole lot.
Before anything else happens, the man in charge walks out. Grayson steps forward without waiting for me to say anything. “I didn’t fucking sign up for human trafficking.”
Instead of Ned spouting shit right back at him in a fit of rage over the fact that the three of us royally fucked up whatever plans he had to make some quick cash, the man looks down, almost appearing ashamed.
It’s not at all the expression I thought he was going to be wearing when we crashed our way into his operation. Honestly, his expression throws me off so much that I end up hesitating, but Grayson doesn’t.
“What the fuck was this? I know you didn’t tell me in advance because you knew I wouldn’t do it!” Grayson says. “I don’t know who all here would agree to just… trafficking humans.”
“I wasn’t… trafficking him,” Ned responds.
“What the hell else is it called when you sell a human?” Grayson demands. “You think just because you looked the other way while it was happening that it’s not trafficking? I joined up in the hope of helping get some answers to this. But now… I’m not sure I want to.”
“I fucked up,” Ned says, and honestly, I’m shocked by his acknowledgment. Why is he over here agreeing with whatever Grayson is saying? Like one minute he’s selling Antonio off for money, the next he feels guilty about it? This guy really isn’t a very good criminal.
“You consider trying to sell off a human a ‘fuckup’?” I ask. “What was your plan here?”
“I knew that Antonio’s family has power I don’t have, so they could destroy the people who I was selling him to.
I wanted to get rid of them, and I knew that if they took Antonio and tried holding it over Elena, she and the rest of Antonio’s family would rip them apart for me.
What shit can I do standing here? I’m not a fucking criminal.
None of us are. We’ve just been given no choice. What the fuck am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t give a shit what’s going on with you. I just give a shit that you could have gotten Antonio killed,” I snap.
“I understand you’re hurting,” Grayson says to Ned. “I understand that, but what makes it right to hurt others over it?”
“This is on me and only me. None of the others approved of this. I fucked up. I just… I knew they wouldn’t kill him because they’d want to use him against his family.”
“They might not have killed him, but did you think they were just going to treat him like royalty? They could have beaten him half to death, they could have cut off his arms and legs. You don’t fucking know what they could have done to him,” Grayson says.
Ned’s jaw tightens. “You’re right, I don’t. I got fixated on my own shit. I’m sorry.”
“Is sorry enough?” I ask as I walk up to him. “I had to shoot multiple people. Was that worth it? They could die. Their fucking deaths could be on me. Is that worth it?”
“They’re bad people,” Ned tries to assure me.
“You know that for sure? You know that every single person I shot was a bad person? You know for a fact that they weren’t dragged into this?
Hell, maybe they’re being coerced into it.
Maybe they’re doing it to protect someone they love.
You don’t know. But I’ve shot them now because that’s what I had to do to get Antonio back. ”
Ned continues to stand there. He’s not backing away, but it’s plain to see that he’s not happy about any of this.
“Where are my friends?” I ask.
“Emma, go get the other two,” Ned says.
I stare down at him as he holds my eyes, but it’s not a defiant look.
“If you try that shit again, my next bullet is going between your fucking eyes. You won’t even know it’s coming.
You’ll just be walking out to your car and next thing you know, your fucking brains will be splattered all over the sidewalk. Understood?”
“Yes. I really am sorry. I just… I knew Antonio’s family had the capability to do something I couldn’t. I really didn’t think about the consequences or who could get hurt or die because of me. I’m sorry.”
I look away from him as Emma returns empty-handed. “They’re not where I left them.”
“What do you mean they’re not where you left them?” Ned asks in disbelief.
“The room was empty. I guess they’re just, uh… wandering around or something? Hell if I know. How the hell do you sneak around with that pig?”
Well aware that Felix would have gone for the most important room, I slip past Ned and head toward his office.
“Felix,” I call as I look around the office before my eyes settle on the only thing in there. “Come out of that dinky-ass cupboard.”
There’s silence for a long moment before the cupboard slowly creaks open. “It’s a trick closet where it looks small from the outside but is actually quite spacious inside,” he says with a grimace.
“Looks small both inside and outside,” I say.
“I’m going to pretend I heard none of that. Did you fuck them up?”
“Ned said we can go.”
“And I missed it? Like… was it exciting? I always miss the fun shit, but… I couldn’t get the closet door open and was convinced I’d have to live in there. All I had was this lighter I didn’t even get to use. But you saved me!”
Ned walks up to the doorway as Felix trots over to Ned’s desk and uses a paper clip to unlock a drawer.
“How long were you in here?” Ned asks.
“So long. I’m just… very fucking talented, you know?” Felix says as he grabs the wallets.
“Wait… did you take out the other guy’s ID? I swear there was an ID in there before.”
“I did. I didn’t want you to realize he’s a police officer… kind of.” Felix whispers that last part which Ned, who has paled considerably, didn’t hear.
“Fuck,” Ned says.
“Fuck is right. Come, Cal.”
“Why are you acting like you’re suddenly in charge of this operation?” I ask.
“Come, boy. Come,” he says as he pats his leg and I dutifully follow him, gun still in hand. Does Felix really trust me that much to keep him safe? I don’t think anyone should trust me at all. Who knows when I might shoot them in the head.
Suddenly, I feel a hand on my own, and I look down as Grayson squeezes it.
“I’m fine,” I say, trying to pull it away.
“You’re spiraling.”
“No, I’m not,” I stubbornly insist. “Lane… where’s Lane?”
“I’m getting him,” Felix says as he hurries off out of sight.
Grayson steps toward me. “Go wait in the car.”
“I’m not fucking… waiting in the car while…” That ball of anxiety is working its way through my stomach again. It hurts and it’s swelling up to my throat.
Grayson grabs my hand and presses it against his chest. “Can you feel me breathing? Breathe with me.”
“I’m fine!” I snap. “I don’t need your help. I needed you before and you weren’t fucking there for me. I don’t need you now.”
“Deep breath in and then breathe out.”
“Fuck you. Fuck you! Fuck all of you.” I try to jerk away, but he pulls me back, hand pressed firmly against my chest.
“Cal, you need to breathe. Breathe with me. I know you’re pissed at me. None of that matters right now. What matters is that you breathe.”
I close my eyes, feeling lightheaded and weak, but I’m beginning to panic as I can’t find any breath. My legs are feeling unsteady and the world starts to tip around me.
“It’s okay. It’s okay,” he says softly while I breathe with him.
I don’t realize my forehead is resting on his shoulder until my breath finally comes back to me.
“You okay?” he asks, voice gentle.
“I got Lane and our phones,” Felix announces, and I push away from Grayson. But as soon as I do, it’s like that momentary relief I felt gets washed away and I want to reach back for him. But I can’t. I can do this myself. I can get through this myself.
Grayson gives me such a gentle look and it makes me want to go back to him, but I know I can’t.
“Cal, I’m here for you. I know you don’t want me, and I’m trying to respect that.
But I’m here. I’m always here. I’ll wait for you no matter how long I have to.
I don’t care how long I have to wait; I’ll be here. ”
“I’m not worth waiting for,” I say as I grab on to Felix, needing something to ground me. Felix’s hand wraps around mine, and while the comfort I get from it is almost instant, it doesn’t drown me in comfort like Grayson’s did.
“You’re worth so much more than you even realize.”
Turning away from Grayson, I hurry after Felix as we make our way back to Antonio’s SUV. We cram into it, pleased to finally get out of there and head home—exactly what we should have done hours ago.
Felix grabs my head and I’m confused when he pushes it down onto his lap. “Copper likes it when I pet him like this,” he says as he pets my hair.
“I’m not a dog.”
“You’re an out-of-control beastie.”
I clutch his leg as I close my eyes and try not to see the blood splattering out after every shot I made.
Seeing the dead look in his eyes?—
I squeeze Felix’s leg while he hugs my head to him.
“We’re going to go home and watch a movie. What about a comedy? And then I’ll definitely need more brownies.”
“Don’t you still have a whole pan?” Antonio asks Felix.
“A whole pan ? You heathens ate at least three-quarters of it.”
“We did or you did?” Lane asks.
“Definitely you guys. I barely got any. Cal, I barely got any of your delicious brownies.”
“I’ll make you more,” I say. “With caramel on them.”
“Ooh yessssss. Caramel. And chocolate chips and nuts and?—”
Antonio cuts in. “I feel like if you’re trying to make Cal feel better, you’d make him something.”
“No, that’d make him feel significantly worse,” Lane warns.
“He doesn’t have to make them from scratch. You have those brownie mixes that you just add three things to. How can you fuck up eggs, oil, and water?” Antonio asks, obviously not knowing Felix’s capabilities well enough.
“Felix just has to look at the brownies and they turn to toxic matter,” Lane explains. “Last time it was so toxic, even Brigs wouldn’t eat what he made.”
“You all are evil. Cal, I’ll make you beautiful brownies.”
“It’s okay, I can make them,” I say as I keep my eyes closed, knowing I need to keep myself from drowning. I don’t want to disappoint the others by drowning myself in alcohol. “I need to stay with you tonight… is that okay?”
“We’ve adopted you, Cal. You can stay with us as much as you want. You are our child. Our beautiful baby boy.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, unsure if he knows how much that means to me. How much it means to be wanted and to have someone care.