Chapter 12 #2
“Did you put some of them in a container?” I ask.
Lane shakes his head. “Oh no, Felix just consumed that many of them. He ate absolutely no dinner and just feasted on sugar.”
Felix shakes his head like he’s confident none of that happened. “I didn’t eat that many, just like… I don’t know, like ten tarts and some of the cheesecake and like… at least one too many cookies.”
“How are you still alive?” I ask in wonder.
“They’re so good,” he whines.
I wave to what’s left. “Grayson, take whatever you want before Felix consumes it all.”
“You made this?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
“All of this? Even these little tart things? They look professional.”
“They’re really not that hard to make,” I assure him.
“Don’t listen to him. He’s just so good that he makes it look like it’s not hard to make,” Felix decides.
Grayson takes a bite of one. “Oh man, they’re delicious.”
“Do you see why I made myself sick eating so many?” Felix asks as he feebly reaches for another like his body is rejecting the idea, but his heart and mind are already committed.
“You kind of look like you’ve had enough,” I say, but he manages to catch one and drags it up to his mouth. “I’m not making three desserts at once anymore.” Honestly, I’m not even sure why I did. I just wanted to distract myself, but I think all I managed to do was try to murder Felix.
“Let’s sit at the table and tell ghost stories,” Felix says as he melts into a chair.
“I’ll go first,” I offer as I carry my plate of dessert over to the table and sit down.
“One time I was like, ‘I want a sandwich,’ and then these two evil men dragged me off to some charity event and then one scurried off to whisk up a safe which he then punched through the wall and tried murdering me with. The end.”
“You weren’t looking for a sandwich that time. That was the next time!” Felix protests.
“The next time?” Grayson asks as he sits down. “Sooo… they try murdering you with a safe, yet you willingly get in the vehicle with them again?”
“I don’t know, Grayson! I wanted a sandwich. I was hungry.”
“We promised to never lead him into danger again,” Felix says.
Grayson looks over at Felix, who seems to be unable to meet his eyes. “Did you? And have you upheld that promise?”
Felix is silent for a moment before smiling at me. “We’ve tried to not lead you into danger? That one.”
“Yeah. That one,” I grumble.
“I’m sorry that danger is drawn to us. It’s really not my fault.
It’s Lane’s fault,” he says. “Lane threatened me today. Can you believe it? He was all, ‘No more pets!’ even though he ends up loving every one I bring home. And honestly, it’s his fault we have all of these pets.
He’s the one who led me to every one of them.
And what was I going to do? Leave them to starve to death all alone and scared? ”
“In case it wasn’t clear, all of the animals in this household were stolen by Felix,” I explain.
Grayson looks impressed. “Even the pig?”
“Most definitely the pig,” I say, which makes Grayson laugh.
“I mean… he’s a fun pet,” he comments as Trav sniffs the pig all over. Brigs just flicks an ear and stares up at us in case we drop an entire cheesecake into his mouth.
“This is really good, Cal,” Grayson says.
“Thanks.”
“We invite him over to make food for us… I mean to love on him,” Felix informs Grayson.
I smile and nod. “See? They definitely love me.”
“They obviously do. Especially when they take you out to get a ‘sandwich.’”
“Right? Like they’re so good at getting into shit that I just go along with it and then question why, you know? And people think it’s just Felix but no, it’s definitely Lane too.”
“Really? He seems so much more innocent than Felix,” Grayson says.
“Instead, he’s like, ‘Let’s go throw our lives into danger.’ And then when you’re like, ‘I see danger all around us,’ he simply goes, ‘I can’t see it so it must be fine.’”
Lane laughs about this, and I can’t quite tell whether he’s agreeing with me or not because he should definitely be agreeing with me.
“So… I know we were just talking about staying out of things,” Felix says as his finger runs a circle on the table. “But when I accidentally broke into Ned’s desk to grab our wallets, I saw an envelope full of… pictures in there.”
The look on Grayson’s face tells me he knows exactly what kind of pictures they were.
“I thought you were staying out of it?” he asks, glancing at me before looking back at Felix.
“Yeah, but we’re a detective agency needing things to detective,” Felix says, like that’s his excuse instead of him and Lane being nosy.
“Why don’t we just change it to a thief agency?” I ask. “People who need things stolen or retrieved can come and you’ll steal them all. We’ll hire Antonio as your getaway driver.”
“Fucking hell.” Grayson shudders. “I’m going to be having nightmares about that bridge for a long time.”
“Right?” I ask.
Felix has a dreamy look on his face. “While I love the sound of that, I feel like Lane would get bored, and I don’t want my sweet Lane bored.”
“So what’s with the pictures of the dead woman?” Lane asks.
“You were staying out of it,” Grayson repeats as he looks at me. “Right?”
“Dead woman?” I ask Felix. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”
“Because I was trying to keep you out of it, but then I remembered that you were a majestic baby boy who should be allowed to make his own decisions. Lane and I don’t want to smother you too much with our parenting.”
“They’ve adopted you?” Grayson asks, like any part of this is legit.
“Yeah, nothing like being older than your dad, right?” I say with much sarcasm.
Felix nods. “He’s our beautiful fledgling and we need to let him spread his wings, but not too far. He’s a daddy’s boy and we don’t want to suffer from an empty nest.”
“I don’t… I don’t even know what to say to any of that,” Grayson admits. “Like… is this a throuple thing? Do I now need to be jealous?”
“Could be a foursome, if you know what I mean,” Felix says before winking both eyes; instead of being sexy, it looks like he’s gotten something in them. “And by foursome, I mean that you guys just get to look at Lane’s naked body and wish you could touch it.”
“Where did you say the nearest hotel was?” Grayson asks me.
“I will show you on my way to my apartment,” I say.
Felix gasps like he could possibly, in some way, be confused about any part of this. He evidently thinks everyone should want to peruse Lane’s body like he does.
“So… pictures… of… things… in… bad guy’s…
desk?” Felix asks. He draws it out far too much, like he’s hopeful that Grayson will spill it all, while I’m over here unsure what I want to know or hear.
“Wait, wait. We decided we’d see whether Cal wants to willingly participate this time or not.
Cal… are you a willing participant in this conversation?
If not, there’s a perfectly beautiful closet right over there that we’re going to use for spin the bottle later. ”
“You said that hotel was just down the road?” Grayson asks.
I nod. “Really not far. I’ll show you on my way out.”
Felix reaches for me and clasps my hands.
“Stop! I’ll be a good big boy, so please…
The only way to fill Lane with happiness is adventure.
We’re just inquiring. Nothing more! We just want to hear about the adventure.
Just hearing about it doesn’t mean we will partake in the adventure.
” This is all very blatantly a lie. I know it.
Felix knows it. Lane definitely knows it.
I think he’s twitching a little bit over there, he’s so excited about the prospect of getting involved.
Grayson looks at me. “Cal?”
“I can listen and not get involved.”
“I’m not sure this time you could.”
I stare at him for a long moment. “Because Devon Jefferson’s death wasn’t the end of it?”
“It sure as fuck wasn’t,” he says, voice quiet. “It was only the beginning.”