Chapter 18 #2
“They still appear to be distracted. So, you really can’t see the storage container they’re being held in well with the greenhouses blocking it.
You see that spot there? If you slip between the greenhouse and that bush, and then inch forward, you’d be able to see them coming long before they could see us.
And you’d give me ample time to get the door open. ”
“How do I alert you?”
“Text, I guess?”
“Okay. Please be careful.”
“I am the most careful human alive,” he says.
I feel rather suspicious after all of my previous experiences that included him, and even though his smile is going, “Believe me,” I oddly… don’t believe him. But he’s still a very precious friend to me so off I go, believing in him to the best of my ability.
I hold my gun tightly, really hoping I won’t have to use it as I slip across the open space and press my body up against the side of the greenhouse that Antonio drove into.
Feeling like they might be able to see me if there’s anyone inside it, I crouch down and shimmy between the greenhouse and the bushes.
Then, instead of sticking my head out, I flip my phone’s camera and use it to assess the situation on the other side of the greenhouse.
So far, most of the people are still surrounding the man they’ve just finished beating, and no one seems interested in heading over here. Instead, their interests seem to align with chatting while they wait for their next order.
I give Felix a thumbs-up, so he gives me some finger guns and then scurries over to the storage container. It makes me strangely skeptical about how this will go. Like… how can some simple hand motions make me so skeptical?
My attention is momentarily sucked away from my job as I watch how swiftly he breaks into the thing. Honestly… I’m quite impressed.
He disappears inside, shutting the door after him as my attention shifts back to the crew on the far side of the greenhouse. Hoping to gain some kind of information about what’s happening here, I listen in.
“Have you ever thought about what it’d be like to live in outer space? And if we met alien life forms, would you let one probe you? I would definitely let some alien chick probe me.”
“We’re in the middle of torturing some dude and that’s what you’re thinking about?” a second guy asks.
“We’re taking a break, yeah? I mean… am I supposed to think about torture even during my breaks?”
“We’re letting him marinate.”
“Like chicken?”
“Fucking hell. We’re letting the idea sink in that we’re going to make his life a living hell if he doesn’t start talking.”
“I wouldn’t mind some chicken. You think they have chicken here?”
A noise sounds behind me, and I freeze. Did I fuck up? I wasn’t watching my back well enough. I was too distracted by this strange conversation and some odd hope they’d spill something about Lt. Allen. But when I turn to look, I see the absolute last thing I ever expected to see.
Felix’s macro pig.
There’s Brigs in all of his beefy glory as he comes crashing through the trees.
I see Antonio and Grayson hot on his trail.
They’re trying to be quiet, though, so they’re doing this strange hunched run, like they think making themselves smaller while running through the trees chasing a pig could possibly be less alarming.
I’m not quite sure how effective it is.
Antonio leaps forward, and this move might have worked if Brigs was truly a micro pig, but just when Antonio’s arms wrap around his body, the pig shoots through them like a fucking jet engine while Antonio goes careening headfirst in the dirt.
It’s rather impressive how his legs keep going even as his face stops, causing him to nearly do a flip.
For a monster whose legs aren’t even half the size of his body, that pig sure can run.
We’re going to get murdered.
We are literally going to die out here…
Because of a pig.
The pig shoots through the trees and out in the clearing while Grayson drops to the ground with Antonio like they’re going to belly crawl across the compound and snag the pig without anyone noticing.
Antonio is doing some weird hand motions, and I can’t tell if he’s off trying to summon help from some pig gods or what, as I watch Grayson throw something.
When it smacks the pig on the head and rolls off, I realize it’s an Oreo. Brigs will do just about anything for an Oreo, so I’m positive Grayson thought he could use one to con the pig into returning to him.
Instead, I watch as Brigs, who was hanging near the tree line, notices the Oreo land on its side and roll perfectly right toward the enemy.
I’ve decided fuck watching the scene unfold through my phone camera at this point and stick my entire head out in time to witness the Oreo hit the shoe of a guy who is holding a gun on the man we’re quite skillfully in the process of saving.
The Oreo flops on its side and Brigs sucks it up without a care in the world, his curled tail wiggling in all of his delight.
“What the fuck, why’s there a pig?”
The guy near me looks over as he stops fantasizing about being probed by an alien long enough to go, “I did say I was hungry for chicken, but bacon sounds delicious as well.”
Everyone is staring at the pig while I realize that I have absolutely no fucking idea what to do. Am I just going to go gun down the bad guys to save Felix’s pig from becoming bacon? Yes, I love the pig too, but I would be risking the lives of everyone who came here to help by saving the damn pig!
I jerk my head back and look toward the tree line where Antonio and Grayson are lying there absolutely flabbergasted. They obviously don’t know what to do, either.
Quickly, I pull out my phone.
Me: Can someone explain to me what the fuck is happening?
Antonio: Lane needed something from the car and I guess Felix’s pig started screaming about Felix being gone and just like plowed Lane off his feet and took off!
Me: And you chased it through the entire woods without catching it?
Grayson: I love you.
Me: What!?
Grayson: Just thought you should know.
Me: Right now? You’re going to tell me that right now?
Antonio: Aw! You guys are so cute!
Me: Seriously?
Lane: Hey, guys. I know there are more pressing matters, but I don’t know where I am. Everyone ran off. I think I’ve tripped over this log at least three times. Tempt the pig with the Oreo, he’ll come back for that.
Me: You talking about the Oreo Grayson threw into the enemy circle?
Lane: …Yes.
Grayson: I didn’t mean to throw it into the circle. I thought if I threw one to him, he’d come back for a second one.
“He’s kind of cute,” someone says as I lower my phone to check back in with the pig dilemma.
Brigs is quite busy looking around, obviously curious about the situation he’s found himself in, and even more curious whether the bad guys with guns have food for him to consume.
“Should I shoot him?” asks the guy who is so hungry he’s prepared to butcher a pig instead of driving five minutes down the road to a McDonald’s.
“Is it like their pet or something?”
“What the fuck is it doing now?” a woman asks when Brigs begins bullying her for food.
He only does that when someone has something in their pocket he really wants.
She tries pushing him off and he starts screaming up a storm like she threatened to make him into kabobs instead of simply turning him away.
“Jesus, Jenna, what did you do to it? It’s just a pig!”
“I only touched it! Make it stop!”
The door to the container opens and Felix starts rushing people out until he hears the terrible racket his pig is making. His head snaps in that direction and then off he goes, forgetting all about caring for himself as he prepares to throw his life on the line for his pig.
The people he’s just saved are all confused, unsure whether they should follow the man running toward the screams of a pig or should flee to safety. Deciding that no one should willingly run toward those squeals, they take off in the other direction.
I wave at Felix to stop because there’s no damn way I’m letting him run out there for the pig.
That is until Brig stills. I don’t know why, when there’s surely no way the pig could have heard Felix’s footsteps over its squeals of despair, but that pig’s head snaps up as it whips around, barrels one guy off his feet, and runs straight toward Felix.
And of course the whole group seems to question why the pig is now running toward their prisoners.
“Felix,” I say quietly.
“Maybe… I might have… shouldn’t have… brought the pig?” he guesses.
“You shouldn’t have brought the pig!” I say as I lift my gun and shoot a propane tank on the other side of them.
It’s not enough of a spark to cause an explosion, but the release of gas is enough of a distraction that quite a few of them spin around to see what’s happened.
Brigs squeals while he scrambles around the corner and right toward Felix.
Felix tries hefting the pig up to run for cover, but he can barely get the front of the pig off the ground, so he decides that maybe he’ll simply run with the pig following him instead.
He rushes for Grayson and Antonio and seems to think I’m following him, but instead, I move toward the building Ned’s office is in. It draws their attention my way and off Felix when I make a few shots at them that purposely go wide.
I slam the door shut and throw the lock in place before hurrying farther into the building as I hear them beating on the door in an attempt to get inside.
My phone buzzes, and I can only guess that I’m being yelled at for being reckless.
There’s no doubt that they’re not going to be happy with me.
But I can’t seem to stop myself while I rush inside, because what if Lt.
Allen is here? What if I can just end this nightmare I’ve been forced to live through because of him and Devon?