12. Amber
CHAPTER TWELVE
amber
W ith the opening of Jake’s store today, I was a little busier than the average Monday.
It was a welcomed distraction from the man next door.
I had to pick my jaw up off the floor when I saw him this morning.
The button-up shirt he was wearing fit like a second skin, pulled taut over every muscle.
Black ink swirled on his exposed forearms and peeked from the opened buttons on his chest. The mix of broody biker and put-together businessman really does it for me.
My brain immediately went to the last time I saw him dressed up, which inevitably led to thoughts of the mind-blowing sex we had.
“Hey, Amber, you okay? You look a little flushed,” Lauren asks, plopping her purse behind the counter. I hadn’t even heard her come in. Clearly, a busy store isn’t cutting it on distraction techniques.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I pick up Socks from where he’s scampering behind her and set him in his bed on the counter. “I’m going to run upstairs and make a sandwich and grab my laptop, then I’ll be right back down.”
She waves me off and clocks in, then gets right to tidying up the displays.
I may only have two employees at the moment, but they are hard workers and amazing to me.
Upstairs, I make a quick lunch, extra grateful that I live above the store, and head back down.
Things have slowed a little, so I take the stool from the back room and set up my laptop on the checkout counter.
“What are you working on?”
Lauren leans against the other side of the counter, playing with Socks. “Doing some branding and marketing for Jake next door.”
She stills, glancing over like she can see him through the wall. “That man is fine as hell, but damn if he hasn’t been hated on by the rumor mill.”
My finger stills over the logo I’m designing. “What do you mean?”
“I’m a bit older, but my younger brother was the grade above him.
He said he was always outgoing but that he was picked on a lot, even when he became one of the popular kids.
It’s messed up, but his mom cleaned houses sometimes, and kids would make comments about making her clean their rooms in a little maid costume and stuff.
He was suspended a few times for fighting over it.
Kids were harsh about his clothes and stuff too.
The bullying stopped in high school, but the fighting didn’t.
He just stopped doing it on school grounds.
He had a reputation where he was feared and loved all at once.
Then, when he came home from college, it was like he was this totally different person.
Hardly talked to anyone, was shut down, covered in tattoos, and always had a scowl on his face, then came the reputation as a womanizer. ”
She pauses the conversation to help find another size for a customer, then stands by me as she rings her up.
Once we’re alone again, she continues. “My brother is a bit of a man whore. Kind of a little kid still despite being thirty, but he doesn’t have the reputation, and I guarantee he has slept with more women than Jake.
I think it’s this whole broody persona people have given him that draws attention when he does go home with someone.
Just let the guy live his life, ya know? ”
I mull it over but decide to drop it and focus on the task at hand.
He’s a big boy, he can handle his own reputation.
If he doesn’t like it, then he could work on changing it.
If being teased for your mom having a job is the least of his worries, then he’ll be fine.
I should know. Even if I still harbor hurt feelings over the way I was treated by my peers, so it would make sense if he did too.
The afternoon flew past as I perfected my three logo options and the possible slogan for him. I have the bare bones of his website designed but can’t do much else without a list of what he offers, photos, timelines, and the like.
Lauren’s kids have after-school activities today, so she stays to close the store while I tuck the laptop under my arm and head next door.
This morning when I rushed over with the gift, my focus stayed on Jake and not the store, but now I take the time to really see it all.
Whoever designed the space did an incredible job of staying true to his masculine style with deep moody colors, but the decor has a feminine touch.
I make a mental note to take photos of it all to add to the website.
“Can I help you?” a petite woman asks from behind the front desk. Her dark hair and deep-blue eyes look so similar to Jake’s, but her bright smile is hers alone.
“Hi, I’m Amber. I own Cedar and Sage next door. Is Jake around?”
Her eyes light up as a deep voice calls from the corner.
“So you’re the one who drives a hard bargain.
My type of woman. He’s out getting dinner, would you like to join us?
” Turning, I see a man sitting on a couch in the corner.
He looks frail for his age, but his smile is warm and his eyes are kind. “I’m Henry, Jacob’s dad.”
“You two are the only ones who call me Jacob,” Jake mutters, strolling through the back door, arms laden with food. “So, are you staying to eat with us?”
His curt invite throws me for a loop. I look from Jake to his parents, all staring expectantly at me.
This is the last thing I expected when I came over here.
The last meal I had with a family like this was Sunday dinner at the James’, and that was my only one.
That realization hits hard, but everyone seems oblivious to my thoughts.
“Of course she is,” Jake’s mom says, moving to lock the door behind me. “I hope you have enough food. I’m Sonja, by the way. It’s nice to meet you.”
She walks me over to the couch and coffee table in the corner, and pulls up a bench, placing it on the other side of the table.
Jake unceremoniously drops the food on the table and starts pulling out containers from the Chinese restaurant across town.
Sonja takes a seat next to Henry on the couch, leaving the bench for Jake and me.
Setting my laptop down, I take a tentative seat on the edge.
“I really don’t have to stay. I didn’t realize you were closing. I just wanted to show you what I’ve done so far and get some input.”
Jake doesn’t bother looking at me as he talks.
“It’s fine, there’s plenty of food. I’m keeping shorter hours until I can hire another staff member.
I don’t have time to sit in here unless I can find an apprentice.
” His mom opens her mouth to speak, but he cuts her off with a sharp look.
“You’re doing too much already, and I don’t like keeping you from the house. These hours are plenty.”
I notice the cane at his dad’s side and the way Sonja glances at her husband in acknowledgment. She must be his caretaker and, from what he said, also the one working in the store. It shouldn’t matter, but I like that he’s looking out for her even though she clearly wants to do more to help.
“Everyone help yourself,” Jake says when all the containers are open and paper plates are passed out. His gaze lands on me, and he scoops noodles on a plate. “What input did you need for the website?”
I wait as the three of them load up their plates with food, rubbing my thighs.
“Oh, I reworked your logo a few different ways and wanted to see if there were any you liked. I also came up with a possible slogan. Now that I’ve seen the inside of here, though, I’m going to change up the colors on the website to match. ”
A plate piled with a little of everything lands on my lap, almost spilling as I rush to catch it. Before I can tell Jake thank you, his dad speaks up. “What’s your slogan idea?”
When I was working on it today, I thought it was hilarious. Lauren thought it fit Jake perfectly, even with her opinion of the rumor mills around here. Looking between his parents now, I might be rethinking it a little.
“Umm, well I thought it should be something catchy and funny with a play on what he does …” I stall. “So … I was thinking ‘Get a load of this wood.’”
Jake chokes on his bite of food, and Henry’s laughter booms around the store. Sonja’s face turns pink, and she wipes at her mouth with a napkin. “That is certainly something. I like it.”
I’m sure my face is red again. I’ve been trying to come up with a cute slogan for my shop for years and still have nothing to show for it. This one came so easily, and as ridiculous as it is, I’m proud of it.
“It’ll work.”
Sonja scowls at her son, then turns to me. “I’m sorry. I swear we raised him better than this.” Her words are kind, but his hit their mark, brushing off my hard work like it’s nothing.
Jake blanches at his mom’s admonishment, giving her a sorry expression.
The love in this family is palpable, even sitting with them brings me a sense of the happiness they share.
Their banter is easy and kind, and no topic seems off-limits.
Henry and Sonja rope me into the conversation as much as possible, making me feel like I’m part of the family.
I remember the days I dreamed of this as a kid, wondering what it would be like to not eat every meal alone, if there even was a meal.
Warmth spreads through me at seeing this other side of Jake.
His softer side that clearly loves his family.
Does he even know how lucky he is to have them and their undying support?
Henry’s face becomes more sallow as dinner goes on, and his heavy eyes droop. Jake clears the coffee table, tossing all the extra food back into the bag. “Dad, let’s get you to the car. Mom, do you want to take the food with you? It will spoil before I get back to the house.”
I gather our plates to throw away, trying not to stare at how Jake has to practically carry his dad out the door. Everything inside me wants to ask, but it’s not my place. It’s not fair to ask others to share when I won’t open up to anyone.
Sonja squeezes my arm, grabbing her purse and the bag of food.
“It was lovely to meet you, Amber. Thank you for helping him. He’s too stubborn to ask most of the time, but this business means everything to him, and he wants it to succeed.
I’m also really sorry to hear about Jana.
She was such a wonderful woman and loved you fiercely. ”
I can do nothing but nod and smile politely.
The wound is still so fresh, and I haven’t taken the time to grieve, so every reminder is like a shot to the heart.
The notion that grief comes in waves has not been true for me.
I have shoved that shit down so deep, but it’s still ever present, trying to bubble out.
There’s no time to grieve; not when I have a business to run that’s success lies wholly on my shoulders.
Jana poured her life into that store, and I will not have it fail at my hands.
Jake says goodbye to his mom, so I give them their moment, not turning until I hear the door shut and lock. “Do you want to look at the website? I need input before I can go any further.”
Jake cocks his head to the side, assessing me. “I didn’t know about your aunt passing. Is that why you’ve been upset lately?”
The scoff leaves me before I can stop it.
Upset? He has to be kidding me. I have so many things I want to say to him.
She wasn’t just my aunt. She was my best friend, my confidante, the only person who loved me.
She held me together when the pain of my past tried to take hold.
Upset doesn’t even begin to cover it. More like, drowning in pain, searing cuts every time her name is said, bitter loneliness pulling me deeper into depression.
Instead, I say none of it, grabbing my laptop and moving around him to the door. I can’t deal with this tonight. I flip the lock, then yank open the door. “Goodnight, Jake.”