14. Amber
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
amber
F rustration from my alarm interrupting yet another dream of Jake has me kicking my legs around in the silky sheets.
Over the last two weeks since he stormed in here and demanded I get on my knees, my nights have been plagued with dreams of him—of his heated stare, dirty mouth, and the way his tattooed hand wrapped around his thick cock.
I’ve been telling myself I only listened to him because I wanted a clean slate, but that’s a lie.
Saliva pooled in my mouth at the thought of tasting him.
The way he sat on my couch, legs spread wide, so casual while I was on my knees for him had my panties drenched.
It felt dirty and depraved, like I was the slut he claimed me to be, and I loved it.
The way he held my hair and kept his focus solely on me, the way his Adam’s apple bobbed when I swirled my tongue, and the guttural growl he let loose when he came down my throat have haunted me ever since.
My vibrator has been working overtime again, yet I’m a horny, frustrated mess most mornings.
All because of that arrogant prick and the way he’s able to read and command my body.
And the craziest part of it all? I felt lighter after.
When he sauntered out of my place and I released my initial frustration by throwing a pillow, I noticed the change in me.
My shoulders were loose, the ache in my chest wasn’t so present, and my mind was clearer.
A small part of me wanted to thank him for giving me that when I was heading into another night of curling up on the couch alone while trying to fight off the waves of grief. Not only that, but he didn’t stick around to witness my confused spiral afterward, which I was grateful for.
His big-dick energy grows tenfold when he’s turned on, and seems to put me in a trance.
I wanted to drop to my knees and taste him, just like he asked.
The power that came from driving him wild went straight to my head.
I’ve overheard Thoren call Lily a good girl, and while I had to fan myself a little, it was nothing like when Jake referred to me as his little slut.
It was like I was still pleasing him, just in a more depraved way, and it unlocked something in me.
He stopped in the store last week to take measurements for my shelves, and he wore a smug look on his stupidly hot face the entire time he chatted with Lauren.
Even Socks was enamored with him, following after him and snuggling into his chest once he was picked up.
I tried to keep the annoyance from my face, but his wink every time Lauren laughed at something he said told me I wasn’t doing a good job at it.
That “punishment” was supposed to wipe the slate clean for us, but it did the opposite. As hot as it was, I hate that I succumbed to him so easily. Though, I’ll admit it did make me forget all about our painful conversation from before.
Chimes from my snoozed alarm start again, and I finally haul myself out of bed.
This used to be my favorite part of the day—my sacred gym time.
Now it’s filled with thoughts of Jake and his looming presence around the gym.
While he may be keeping his distance, I still feel his gaze on my every movement.
Men watching me in the gym isn’t a new phenomenon, but Jake’s gaze never feels leering, just present.
Throwing on a ratty shirt with my bike shorts, and a topknot in my hair, I rush down the stairs with my pre-workout in hand.
Along with my summer shipment arriving today, I promised Jake’s mom I would pop in so she can help me finalize some things with his website.
She has been amazing and so kind, working with me to get photos of all his work and explaining what customization options I needed to add to his online storefront.
Despite it being clear I’m avoiding her son, she hasn’t asked about it once, much to my relief.
Jake’s bike is already out front, the black gleaming in the last of the moonlight, when I park at the gym’s entrance.
My traitorous body flushes with thoughts of him in tight shorts throwing around heavy weight.
So maybe his eyes weren’t the only ones that wandered while he worked out.
Kyle’s smile greets me as I set up a mat in the corner to do an ab set.
“Mind if I join you?” He never does a workout with me, but I smile and sweep my arm to the open space next to me. The hair on my neck rises as I glance around to find the source. Sure enough, Jake is glaring daggers at Kyle from his spot doing deadlifts.
“Any big plans this weekend?” he asks, stretching out his legs.
“Inventory. I have a huge shipment coming today. What about you?”
“Probably hit the bar with some buddies tomorrow night and do some golfing. If you get a chance, you should come out with us.”
Finishing my wood chops, I put down the dumbbell and really take him in.
He’s attractive, but I feel nothing when I look at him.
No spark or rush of excitement. To be fair, I’ve never given him a chance.
We’ve never gone out, and he’s never touched me or pressed his lips to mine.
Maybe that’s what I need to do in order to get those feelings.
“I really won’t have time this weekend, but next time?”
His smile falters slightly, but he nods and continues stretching next to me.
I’ve moved onto planks when a pair of worn high-top Chucks steps into my line of sight.
Why I find the shoes so attractive is beyond me, but when Jake drops to a squat in front of me, his shorts riding high on his muscled quads and accentuating the bulge in the center, my mouth dries.
His smirk is filled with mirth when he catches where my eyes are glued. “Hey, baby, just wanted to let you know it will be me in the store today. Stop by whenever.” He ignores Kyle next to me, which seems to piss him off. Kyle huffs, picking up his mat with a muttered “See you later” to me.
“There isn’t a redeeming quality about you, is there?”
He chuckles darkly, pushing a stray hair behind my ear. “You’ve seen exactly what qualities I have. Just don’t like that tool hanging all over you like a lost puppy. He needs to learn you’re mine to play with.”
Sitting up, I swat at his hand. “Are you tired of hearing me tell you to fuck off, because I’m tired of saying it. I’m not dealing with you today. Why isn’t your mom going to be at the store?” His face shuts down, and I know instantly. “Your dad?”
“He had a bad night,” he says, the fight leaving his body. “See you later.”
I should feel like an ass, but I don’t. He’s doing the exact same thing he punished me for.
Screw him and his attitude and thinking he controls me.
There’s too much pent-up energy flowing through me, so I deviate from my routine and hop on a treadmill to run this out.
A sense of satisfaction hits when Jake walks out of the gym, but I stay and run until my legs give out.
It may only be six in the morning, but I know Sonja’s awake if she already told her son she couldn’t work.
We exchanged numbers earlier this week so she could text me some photos.
I shoot off a quick text asking for her address which she gives with no questions.
The poor thing must be exhausted. While I wasn’t Jana’s caretaker since she needed round-the-clock care I couldn’t give, I essentially was for my mom.
The toll it has on a person can be immense, so I make a quick pit stop at the local bakery and pick up some breakfast sandwiches and muffins, as well as a latte.
Jake’s parents live in a small neighborhood that has weathered homes.
Some yards are taken care of, while most are sorely overgrown.
The houses are all on the small side, but pulling up to Henry and Sonja’s, it’s clear theirs is taken care of.
There’s a set of worn rocking chairs on the small porch and pots on the steps teeming with an array of brightly colored flowers.
I don’t want to knock and risk waking Henry if he’s asleep, so I set it all down and shoot off another message telling her to check the porch as I walk to my car. It may not be much, but I hope it helps take one small thing off her plate today.
Growing up the way I did, I never went out of my way for anyone else.
Not that I was selfish, it was simply out of necessity.
We had so little, and when we did have things like food or money, I tried to make Mom hide it.
My mom wasn’t all bad, she just wasn’t great either.
After I moved in with Jana and saw how involved she was in the community and how she donated her time, money, and items from the store to others, I was terrified.
Terrified that I would end up in the same situation I was with my mom: hungry and desperate.
It wasn’t until she sat me down and explained she was blessed enough to own her home and run a business that paid her bills, that I understood.
She helped me see there was no need for her to live in excess, and she was happy to help people in worse off situations.
She gave as much as she could but would never risk us going hungry.
What she didn’t say at the time was that she was helping people like Mom and me—adults struggling with addiction, and children who weren’t cared for.
This small community meant so much to her.
When everything happened and Evelyn, Lily, and Michele stepped in to help me, I was reminded how much small acts of kindness can make all the difference. Jake may piss me off, but I’m all too happy to help his parents.
After pulling into my usual parking spot, I rush upstairs to take a shower. My deliveries usually come around eight, and that little stop put me behind schedule. I shower quickly and thank my genius self for grabbing an extra muffin from the bakery.
By the time I make it downstairs, the large FedEx truck is parked in the alley but thankfully, not waiting. The door to my section of the shop is propped open, and the driver is walking his dolly out as I walk up.
“Hey, Frank. Sorry I wasn’t here,” I say. I know I locked up. Although, if it was unlocked, it wouldn’t surprise me if Frank let himself in to drop off. He’s been our delivery man for the last six years and knows the routine.
“No problem, Amber. Jake was here and let me in,” he says over his shoulder as he walks up the ramp to get more boxes.
Before I realize it, I’m stomping into my shop to find Jake trying to move the new boxes around to empty spaces in the room.
He stops when he sees me, crossing his arms over his chest. “Your storage in here sucks. Frank said he has eighty-two boxes for you. Your ten little garment racks and two foldout tables aren’t going to work. ”
His tone drips with condescension. Why the hell does he care, it’s not his problem.
Still, I find the need to defend myself.
“Thanks, Captain Obvious. I had no idea.” I mirror his stance and roll my eyes.
“It’s on my list, but I’ve been too busy to work on it.
You know, doing things like creating your website, even though you’ve yet to do anything for me except take some measurements. ”
“Ordering the wood, making them, and sealing them takes time. If you wanted a crap and quick product, you could have ordered something online.” He stalks off toward his shop, calling, “You’re welcome for the help” over his shoulder before the door slams.
Frank chuckles from behind me, dropping off another stack of boxes.
“Oooh, boy, there’s a spark between you two.
Hope I’m nowhere near you when it detonates.
” The look of horror on my face must be amusing because he throws his head back in laughter and walks back out again, cackling all the way to his truck.
Fucking great.