43. Jake
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
jake
H eaven and hell. Two places I have lived between for most of my life, floating in that subspace leaning more toward one. It’s empty in the space between, and I’ve spent so long there I almost forgot what either side could feel like.
Until Amber told me she wanted to build her life with me. Heaven. Pure fucking heaven.
Driving her home last night, I rode as slow as I could, reveling in the feel of her body against mine. No part of me wanted to take her home, but I had a plan, and that plan involved walking her to her door and kissing her goodnight.
That plan also involved finally hanging the porch swing because the cushion I ordered for it was delivered Saturday while we were enjoying our picnic. I’ve been dying to show it to her, to help her feel at home in the cabin I’m trying to make ours, but I want it to be perfect. She deserves that.
When I helped Thoren build a cover for his deck, I did the same to half of mine. Who knew it would come in handy to hang the swing under. It looks inviting and cozy, the perfect addition to the space out here. The cushion fits nicely on it, and I add pillows my mom made recently at the store.
Taking a seat on it, I kick my legs, letting it rock gently in the summer breeze, and gaze out at the woods. I hope Amber loves it as much as she did the old one. That she feels she can finally open up to me on it, and we can spend our nights curled on it together.
When I asked Amber last night what time she was working today, she said she had the whole day off.
I was surprised, especially since she took last weekend off as well, but it works well for me.
I’m bringing her here tonight, bringing her home, with every intention of convincing her to move in with me.
As I’m putting chicken in the fridge to marinate for dinner, my phone pings from the counter. Hoping it’s from my girl, I rush to get it, when it starts ringing. Seeing Lily’s name, I swipe to answer.
“Jake,” she says in a hoarse voice before I can even get a word out. “Evelyn collapsed and is in the hospital.” I can hear the panic in her voice and the rev of an engine. “Thoren and I are on the way, and Riv is coming too. Can you, uh, can you come too? I think Thoren needs you.”
I hear what she doesn’t want to say. She doesn’t know how bad it is, but I’ve been in that waiting room waiting to see if today is the day I lose a parent.
I know what’s going through his head and can support him in the way he needs.
The thing is, showing up is all he needs.
That’s all you can do, and knowing you have people, your parents have people, makes all the difference.
“On my way.”
Not bothering to turn off lights or do anything other than throw on my boots, I rush out the door and hop on my bike.
I fly down the country roads and into town, making it to the local hospital on the outskirts in record time.
Parking on the sidewalk without a care, I slam the kickstand down and rush through the front doors .
It’s a smaller hospital and easy to navigate, plus I know these halls well.
My dad’s visits are frequent, and I join every chance I get.
It only takes a few minutes to find the waiting room the James’ are in, and when I do, I hate the looks on their faces.
Thoren stands to give me a hug, then immediately sits back down, his face is pale and withdrawn.
I give Lily a squeeze on the shoulder, then move to David.
“How is she?”
“We don’t know yet,” David says, wringing his hands. “She was fine, then out of nowhere she started slurring her words, her movements turned slow and wobbly, then it was like her legs gave out and she collapsed. We haven’t heard anything since they took her.”
Evelyn has been in the hospital before. She has a heart condition she was managing well, but sometimes, the body does what it wants. “How far out is River?”
“He’s driving, so maybe another two hours.”
“I’ll get us some of the good coffee from the café. Decaf?” I ask Lily.
She nods, and I head down to give myself something to do.
For as much time as I’ve spent here, I hate it.
It makes my skin crawl thinking of the days I spent here and the weeks my dad had to stay.
Slipping my phone out, I text my mom to let her know what’s going on, then call Amber, but when she doesn’t answer, I text to let her know too.
She reads my text but doesn’t reply. I’m debating calling her again, but then it’s my turn to order.
With a tray full of drinks, I make my way back to the waiting room and distribute the drinks so everyone else has something to do with their hands too.
The air is tense, but I try to keep it light, talking about baby names and my ideas for the crib.
Not too long after, a doctor finally comes in to talk to us.
“Mrs. James’s CT results show a pulmonary embolism.
We have her on a few medications to see if we can get it to resolve without surgery, but that may be a possibility in the future.
There were some other concerning findings on the CT, but we will address that after we get this resolved. Would you like to see her?”
Everyone stands at the doctor’s question, and he chuckles, waving us with him. “She said everyone would fight to come. If you can stay calm and quiet, I can let you all in.”
We follow him down the hall, Thoren holding Lily’s hand so tight his knuckles are white. All I can think of as I watch them is how Amber had to do this alone, and the outcome was much worse for her aunt. She will never have to face anything alone again.
Evelyn’s room is small but private as we all shuffle in. David wraps her in a hug first, wiping his eyes as he moves back so Thoren can hug his mom. They talk in hushed tones until Evelyn spots me, and her lips purse.
“What are you doing here, Jacob?”
Stunned at her response, I palm the back of my neck awkwardly, glancing between the others.
She’s like a mother to me and has been there for me almost as much as my own.
When she reads my confused and hurt expression, she softens.
“It’s Amber’s birthday, honey, and a really hard day for her. You should be with her.”
“What?” I croak, then shoot an accusatory glare at Lily.
“I didn’t know either.” She looks back to Evelyn, a question on her face.
“It’s the day her real mom died. Thank you for coming, but go, Jacob.” I lurch forward to give her a gentle hug, then sprint out the door as quickly as I ran in.
Why didn’t Amber say anything to me? I had no idea her birthday was even coming up. I’m about to pull out my phone to call her when the warmth of the summer sun hits my back and the heat of it seeps into my bones.
I don’t need to call. I know where she is.