45. Jake
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
jake
A mber looks up at me, her golden eyes still shining from the tears she shed, before slipping her hand in mine.
I love her blind trust in me and hope I can make this day a little better for her.
This might be tricky with everything going on, but with a plan in mind, I shoot off a group text as we walk to my bike.
“Where are we going?” she asks, when I slip my helmet on her head, buckling it under her chin.
“I have a surprise. It wasn’t intended as a birthday gift, but it will have to work since you didn’t give me time to do anything else,” I say, giving her a stern look. She’s getting punished for that later.
“What about my car?”
“Leave the keys in the console, and I’ll have it taken care of.”
She gives me a skeptical look, so I kiss her nose before closing the visor. Sitting on my Harley, I hold my hand out to help her climb on the back, and she clings to me, wrapping her arms and legs tight around me. Maybe I don’t need my truck back. Too much space between our bodies in that thing.
The bike roars to life beneath us, and it’s the balm to my nerves I’m in desperate need of. I knew through the bits and pieces Amber shared in the past that her mom wasn’t great, but I didn’t expect all that.
Cruising through the downtown streets toward home, I let the wind whipping through my hair take the anger coursing through my veins.
Amber deserves a birthday. A real fucking birthday, and while I can only do so much last minute, I’ll do everything I can to make it amazing.
She better buckle up for next year, though, because it’s on.
By the time my wheels hit the gravel of my drive, my body is relaxed, the anger replaced by a wave of nerves.
This surprise for her will hit extra hard today, and I hope it’s a good thing.
She slips off my bike, handing me the helmet and running her fingers through her tousled hair.
There’s a lighter feel to the moment, her eyes clearer and her body at ease.
I love that a ride on my Harley gives her the same sense of clarity it does for me.
My hand trembles as I take hers, and the reality of this moment hits me hard.
I’m steady—steady hands, steady in my roots and beliefs—but right now, I’m shaking like a leaf, letting the wind dictate where I go.
It’s not an unpleasant thought, letting go of the rigid roots that have always held me back and following my heart.
Even if that heart means leaving the safety of my tree and following Amber to the ends of the earth.
Instead of going through the house, I walk her around the side, needing the smell of the pine trees and the lilacs that Lily and Thoren planted here. “Where are we going?” Amber asks, squeezing my trembling fingers.
As soon as we round the back of the house, she stops dead in her tracks.
Her face is stricken, but I can’t tell if it’s a good thing or not.
Tugging her gently, I bring her onto the deck and set her down on the swing.
She’s rigid, but her fingers ghost over the edges of the wood as tears form on her lashes.
Taking a seat next to her, I tip her chin to face me. “I’ve been building this for a while. I was going to show it to you today, for a completely different reason, but this works too. Happy birthday, Whiskey.”
“H … how?”
“I drove by Jana’s old place and did my best to replicate it. When you said that leaving it was the hardest part of leaving that house, I knew I had to build one here for you.”
“Jake, I—” she whispers, sucking in a deep breath to hold back her tears, then shakes her head. “I’m a mess.”
My trembling hands still as the sun peeks through the trees, lighting up her face, and I see it all so clearly. Our lives together in this cabin. Our lives free from the burdens of our past. Our lives loving and laughing, bickering and caring.
“I love you, Amber Wright. You don’t have to be perfect or have it all figured out to be deeply loved by me. You already are, as you are, in this moment. And every moment. I will love you softly on your hardest days and fiercely when you need strength. But always. Without question. I love you.”
I was unsure how she would react, but slamming her lips on mine wasn’t it.
Her pillowy-soft lips mold to mine, sucking the breath from my lungs.
It’s demanding and claiming and everything I’ve wanted to feel from her.
Her nails spear through my hair, scratching down my scalp and sending shudders through my body.
“I love you too, Jake,” she breathes over my lips before placing one more kiss there.
Still holding my head in place, her piercing golden eyes sparkle as she smiles at me.
“I see you. I see your soul that you willingly burned to help others. Your heart that you pour into every single piece of your work. Your strength that you use to keep those you love safe. Every dark part of you fits with every broken piece of me. Together, we can stop wandering in the dark and step into the sun. I love every part of you, Jake. Thank you for bringing light back to my life. ”
Sitting back on the swing, I haul her into my side, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. She snuggles into me, curling her feet up on the cushion and letting me rock us gently as the warm sun skates over us. “Thank you for seeing me and loving me all the same.”
Her head tilts up, gaze locking on mine. “Thank you for making this. Sitting here, hearing those words leave your mouth, it’s the best gift I’ve ever received.” Amber lays her head back on my chest, her hand trailing up and down my thigh. “Jana would have loved this. And you.”
I have to swallow past the lump in my throat.
She’s come so far, from walking away every time her aunt was brought up, to willingly talking about her with me.
When I saw her at Thoren and Lily’s wedding, she held in every emotion, and here she is, displaying it all for me today.
She’s incredible, and I wish I could make her see what I do.
How I’ve watched her fight to get her life back, to pull herself from the darkness.
“I’m sorry I never got to meet her, because I have so much to thank her for.”
She smiles and lowers herself to lay across my lap, looking out at the forest behind the house. I trail my fingers through her hair as her eyes slowly close. Everything about this moment is perfect, and sliding my phone from my pocket, I know it will only get better from here.
HELP ME group chat
Jake:
I know this is the worst day for this, but I need help.
Thoren:
We’re in. Mom is okay and has dad with her. What are you thinking?
Michele:
Wait, what’s going on?
Lily:
Today is Amber’s birthday and the day her mom died. We just found out.
River:
Fuck.
Michele:
I make a mean chocolate cake. Where are we meeting?
Jake:
Can you make it brownies? Pick up dinner on the way to my place? And can someone get her car from the cemetery?
Lily:
I’ll get it. Is she moving in with you?
River:
SHE’S MOVING IN WITH YOU? I need to put eyes on Mom, then I’ll be there. I’ll grab the food.
Jake:
I’m asking soon, but I want her staying here tonight. Can you grab Socks from her place?
Michele:
I’ll be there in two hours with brownies and gifts in tow.
Thoren:
We will be right behind with the cat.
Jake:
I love you guys.
Lily:
What a sap. I’m so happy to see you happy.