Chapter 24
Betty
“What’s the plan again?” River grunts as we attempt to hold my tiny suitcase closed, the contents spilling over the edges as if we’re going to be gone for more than four nights.
An exaggerated sigh leaves me, my head falling back in frustration.
“I’m gonna ask him what his problem is.” Slumping onto the bed, I cover my face with my hands, not wanting to see the look on River’s face.
“You don’t understand. We were so good for a week, and then after the rodeo, he just disappeared back to Montana.
Then I found out from my brother that Nash was back in town, and they went out drinking together.
I’ve gotten exactly five text messages from him in the past week and a half and not a single call. ”
“I’m not the mushy type, so give me some grace here, but we’ve talked about this. You decided before it was time to let it go. Then you chose him over Ward. But, Betty, when someone shows you their true colors, believe them.” River rubs my leg with pity shining in her soft green eyes.
She’s right. He’s shown me he doesn’t care.
“I just need closure, but I also really am curious about the whole breeding selection process.” It’s the truth.
Since starting at Boulder Ranch, I’ve immersed myself in the ranch and rodeo world as much as I could.
My mind is one that needs to understand my surroundings.
The ins and outs, as well as the nuances, are all important, so I don’t let anyone else down.
River wrinkles her nose. “I really thought you just said that because you wanted to come. Gray made me watch a ‘breeding’ video, and I could have done without it.” She gags before we devolve into a fit of laughter.
That’s how it always is with us. No matter how serious the conversation, there will be good food and laughter. They say your friends can also be your soulmates. If that’s true, River is mine.
“Okay,” she pats my thigh. “I need to pee again, and then we’re out of here.”
I only chuckle as I try to zip my suitcase. It’s the second time she’s had to pee in the forty minutes she’s been here. It is the dead of summer, though, so we’re all chugging fluids like a fish out of water.
“Ladies!” Gray barges through my apartment door. I don’t even know how he got in. The door should have been locked, and the lobby requires a fob.
“Coming,” I grunt as I drag the zipper the last inch, breathing heavy.
I’m sprawled on the bed panting when I hear River giggling and the noises of the two kissing floating in from my living room.
My body jerks forward as my gag reflex kicks in.
How can I want to gag, cry, and cheer all at once?
I’m happy for my best friend, but I miss Nash too.
That had been us when we snuck moments alone together.
Get over it. It was a week, I groan to myself, shoving off the bed.
Rolling my tiny suitcase down the hall and into the living room, Gray doesn’t even pretend like he wasn’t seconds from stripping his wife and screwing her on my living room floor. Can I even fault them? They’re like love-sick teenagers, but they are exactly what the other needed.
Gray always says I’m the one who brought out River’s fun side, but he did that; I only amplified what he teased out of her.
“Is this what it’s going to be like all weekend?” My mouth scrunches to one side.
“Last I checked, you were the one tagging along,” Gray drops an arm over River’s shoulder, kissing her temple. “Breeding is not in your job description,” he chuckles.
Chewing the inside of my lip, I wonder if River told him the other real reason I wanted to come. My life forever revolves around Nash. Maybe this weekend will be the end of that.
“Fine. Let’s go.” I shake my head, rolling my suitcase past the pair.
Gray immediately takes it from my hand, lifting it by the handle and stalking through the door.
It’s weird watching another man carry my luggage.
You hear about chivalrous men who do that kind of thing all the time, but other than Nash and my brother, I can’t even remember a single man I dated holding the door for me.
My best friend definitely got a good one.
Every joint seems to pop as I stretch awake in the backseat of River’s SUV. We drove the first fifteen hours yesterday before stopping at a hotel.
It was a typical chain you can find anywhere. There was nothing special about it. The rooms were nice and clean, and I had the space to myself, but I couldn’t sleep.
It was an endless night of tossing and turning.
I couldn’t find a comfortable position, and when sleep finally took me, I would bolt awake.
My dreams had fooled me into believing that my comforter shifting or my head rolling on the pillow meant Nash was climbing into bed with me.
I’d wake, but he wasn’t there. Then the tears would come, and I’d repeat the cycle all over again.
Pressing back into the seat, I attempt to stretch my legs as far as they’ll allow.
I couldn’t be more thankful we took her car instead of Gray’s truck, though he’s been trying to talk her into a pickup truck if she’s going to keep buying animals to bring home to their ranch.
River only argues that her SUV trunk is plenty big and safer for transport.
Any of the larger animals would require a trailer, and she’s not driving a truck with one of those anyhow.
I’m not sure how long I was asleep or where we are, but the mountain landscape is stunning. Staring out my window, the possibilities seem boundless. A hopeful grin attempts to pull at the corners of my mouth as I imagine what the stars must look like dotting the sky above the mountaintops.
It must be breathtaking.
The scenery quickly changes, taking us through a small town with a mix of quaint shops and chain stores. A reminder of Carruthersville and the home I’ve always known. A pang of homesickness hits me, only to drown me in the acceptance that Cole County is the only home I will ever know.
“Morning, sleepyhead,” Gray chuckles from the driver’s seat. His eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror, but I don’t match his smile. I don’t feel like it. Not today.
“You’re too chipper right now,” I grumble.
“Well, I had an entire car ride worth of the soundtrack of your snoring. Why wouldn’t I be?”
My mouth falls open as River swats his arm. “Don’t be an ass.”
“I like your ass,” he snickers, squeezing her thigh.
I only groan. My snoring is why I never had sleepovers as a kid. I’ve always sounded like a frickin’ dump truck, and popular Betty couldn’t let people know she made noises that matched a foghorn.
My heart suddenly seizes in my chest. Nash hadn’t said a thing. Is he so deep a sleeper that he never heard me or… Stop it, Betty.
You’d think, as a woman in my thirties, the stupid shit I obsess over when it comes to Nash would be nothing.
That I wouldn’t care or think about silly details like my snoring or if I said the wrong thing.
You’d think I wouldn’t care. That whole “take me as I am” mindset should be firmly in place by now, but I’m living proof that a woman can still hold on to those insecurities because no man has ever made her feel safe enough to let them go.
“Ignore him,” River throws her husband a look of pure annoyance. “He snores louder than you do. Especially if he’s been riding. I had to buy earplugs.”
“You did not?” Gray gasps, tearing his gaze away from the road to glance at her, just as we turn up a steep drive.
“I did. Watch the road.”
He doesn’t say another word, returning his hand to her leg as we ascend the endless dirt drive.
A massive black modern home comes into view. The type that would belong to a billionaire determined to live off the grid, not a rancher from Cole County. How many people live here with Nash?
Ducking to peer through the windshield, my features scrunch as I attempt to take in all the sharp angles and overlapping wood paneling against the matte black. “Wow,” I breathe.
There’s no denying that the house is breathtaking. By no means would I ever have thought Nash would live in a place like this, and it’s not my style, but it belongs in a magazine.
Gray only harrumphs as if confused by what he’s seeing. “Doesn’t seem very Nash to me.”
“Didn’t he build it with his ex-wife?” River asks absentmindedly.
It’s as if I can’t breathe through the pain stabbing me in the gut. It’s never been a secret that Nash had a wife. I never met her, but she was part of his life for thirteen years. She shared a life with him I had always dreamed of, in this house that he had built for her.
I’m lost in my head as I slide out of the car and toward the front door. River’s at my side, her voice muffled in my ears.
This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come here.
I’m seconds from turning around, calling a cab, and hightailing it to the closest airport. It’s not too late to turn around and go home. A notion that dies the moment the front door swings open and Nash comes into view.
Nash stands there in dark-wash jeans, a fitted white T-shirt, and bare feet. He looks just as amazing as ever. Rested and as happy as he’s always been.
Then his eyes meet mine, and I know I made a mistake. He doesn’t want me here.