Chapter Thirty-Five
Tamzin’s palms sweated and her legs felt as if they’d been filled with sand.
Seated on the edge of her bed, she stared at George as if he’d just turned into a monster.
George, in fact, was alight with joy, beaming, fizzing with energy as he strode around. ‘It’s just amazin’, Tamz. A-fuckin’- mazin’ . Hamburg! Gigs in clubs in Hamburg. The scout who’s offered us it has watched us three times and we didn’t know. It’s such an opportunity. I can’t believe it. My dad says I can’t go, but I’m going, obviously.’
She unfroze her lips. ‘What about the others. Are they all going?’
‘’Course! Erica, Marty and Rob are taking a year out of uni, like me. We’ve got to totally take this opportunity, Tamz.’ He threw himself down at her feet and hooked his warm hands around her legs. ‘If we didn’t take it we’d, like, kick ourselves for the rest of our lives.’
Her throat had turned to sandpaper. ‘How will you survive, financially?’
‘No idea. We get paid, of course, but it’s bound to be difficult. Most of the bands out there have part-time jobs in bars and stuff while they’re getting established. The agent helps you find digs.’ He leapt up and began to pace again, fizzing with joy, too hyped to contain himself.
‘So you speak German?’
He paused. ‘Um . . . no. I’m going to get one of those language discs and learn, though. I expect we’ll all learn. We’ll have to, won’t we?’ And he pulled her up off the bed and into his arms and whirled her around the bedroom.
Her legs moved stiffly like a peg doll’s, her heart as still as glue. She wanted to fling herself onto the bed and have a two-year-old’s tantrum, letting the awfulness of one grief upon another press her down into the quilt. He would have to stop whizzing her round or she was going to be sick. Sick from grief and disappointment. The disappointment was the worst. Because she’d really thought . . . She’d honestly believed — that he loved her. Even losing her mum was less hideous than it could be, with George around.
George yanked her against his chest, laughing, staggering dizzily. He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. ‘Will you come with me, Tamz?’
Six words — and her heart unglued itself with a joyous thud. ‘With you? With the band?’ Her voice squeaked.
‘Yeah. I know it’s selfish but I don’t want to leave you behind. I don’t know when I’ll get back to visit, I don’t think I’m going to have much time or money and we’ve got to rehearse and write new stuff and everything. I might not come back for months. For years. You could try it for a month, couldn’t you? See if you like it.’ He was coaxing, now. ‘You could always come back, we’d find the money somehow.’
‘I’ve got money,’ she pointed out, dazed. ‘I can speak German. I learned to speak German at school. It’s a lovely, easy language. I can be useful.’
‘ Ja! Gut! ’ George roared. And began again to whiz her around.
And, this time, Tamzin’s heart whizzed, too.