Chapter 1 #19
I kiss the side of his head. I can't stop touching him. Now I fucking get it. This is what people mean when they say they're happy. That thing that makes you want to stay frozen in time. And it's the first time ever I'm feeling it too. I can finally relate.
And maybe he feels it too. Because slowly…he goes quiet. I feel his breath change. He lifts his head just slightly, enough to meet my eyes. And something's different now. His smile is softer.
"We're having too much fun," he says quietly.
I blink. "Yeah? That's kind of the point." He doesn't smile this time. Just looks at me like he's trying to memorize something. "It's gonna make it worse."
My stomach drops. "What?"
He pulls back, just a little. Not off me. But away enough that I feel the cold rush in. "When I leave," he says. And it's fucking back.
That crack in the glass. That stupid little voice neither of us wants to hear tonight. I stare at him. Still holding his waist. Still hard. Still madly in love.
And I don't say anything. Because I know he's right. And I fucking hate it. He's sitting on the edge of the bed now, just a few inches away but suddenly feeling miles.
His fingers are laced together like he's physically holding himself back. He knows that if he lets go he'll crawl right back onto me.
And I'm just staring at him, trying not to fall apart while pretending I'm totally cool with all this. "So," I start, "what exactly are you suggesting? That we…count?"
He glances at me. "Count?"
"Kisses," I say. "Touches. Eye contact. Gotta keep it under control, right?"
He lets out a weird laugh-sigh. "I mean…it sounds stupid when you say it like that."
"It is stupid," I mutter. "But here we are."
"I don't know," he says finally. "Maybe we just… make some kind of plan."
"A plan," I repeat flatly.
"For not touching each other."
"Yeah."
"Okay," I nod, trying to play along, even though every part of me wants to scream. "So like…no kissing after dark? Unless it's, what—accidental?"
"Accidental kisses?" he says, a little amused.
"It could happen," I shrug. "You trip, I fall, our mouths collide. Boom. Innocent." He bites his lip to hide a smile, but I can see it trying to break through. "All right," he says. "Rule one: no kissing after dark."
"Unless it's a full moon," I add.
He chuckles. "Sure. Full moon exception."
"And rule two…" I pretend to think. "No cuddling. Ever again. Unless one of us is, like, emotionally compromised or has hypothermia."
"Can I claim hypothermia if I just miss your body heat?" I glance at him, dead serious.
"You're already breaking the spirit of the rules, man."
We both laugh, but it dies too fast. Because the room's still full of heat. The air is still thick. He's still there, and I still want to reach out, and we're pretending this isn't torture.
"Do we even know how to do this?" he asks softly. "The…not being close thing?"
"Nope," I say immediately. "Not even a little."
He nods, looking down at his hands. And I swear, the only reason I don't pull him back into my lap is because I know the second I do…none of these rules will mean a damn thing.
He stands up. Adjusts his glasses. I sit there. Watching him. Every part of me screaming.
Please, Rava. Don't go.
Don't go.
Don't you fucking dare go. But I don't say shit. Because I'm stubborn. Because I'm stupid. Because I think maybe if I let him walk out, it means I'm strong or some crap like that.
He grabs his phone. Doesn't even look at me when he opens the door. And then he's gone. I sit completely still.
Wow.
He left. For real. I stare at the door like I can bring him back with pure rage and longing. How could I let him leave?! I should have grabbed his throat and shoved him back on the bed, remind him who the fuck I am.
Who we are. But I didn't.
Because this is mature. Smart. Protective. But now the room feels like shit. Everything feels wrong. I keep pacing, hands in my hair, telling myself this is what I want.
It's good, right? Less contact. Less damage. We're making it easier. It's the right thing. It has to be the right thing.
I hear a knock on the door.
I'm on my feet so fast my foot hits the leg of the bed and I nearly faceplant. I don't care. I stumble straight to the door like some desperate idiot.
I fling it open.
He's there. Breathing hard. We stare at each other. Then he swallows, and lowers his voice.
"Start the rules tomorrow?"
"Fuck yeah," I blur.
14) I Wanna Ride You
Gio
I grab him by the shirt and drag him inside. The door slams behind him, and I've already got my mouth on his before he can breathe.
He gasps into it, grabbing my hair, and I walk him backwards toward the bed. "I mean it this time," he says between kisses, voice wrecked. "Last time for this week."
"Obviously," I say, pushing his shirt up.
"This is almost-goodbye-sex," he breathes, laughing into my mouth. "The most respectful kind," I mutter, biting his neck. "Gotta send you off properly."
His knees hit the edge of the bed. I push him down and crawl over him. "I'm serious," he says. "Tomorrow? We stop."
"Swear to god," I whisper, fingers undoing his pants. "Right after I make you cum so hard you forget why we even needed rules."
He laughs, then pulls me back down by the collar and kisses me harder. His hands are everywhere. My lips are swollen. We can't stop looking at each other even when we're breaking apart to breathe. "This is so dumb," he whispers.
"Mhm," I agree. I'm gonna make him remember it in every cell of his goddamn body. His glasses are fogged as hell, sliding halfway down his nose, and I can't stop staring at how fucking good he looks like this.
"Did I ever tell you…how fucking hot these glasses are?" I lick into his mouth. "Because they are. Fuck."
Another kiss, rougher now. "Disgustingly hot.
" He moans into me, hips bucking up, and that’s it.
I reach up, grab the frame, slide them off slow.
My fingers brush his cheek, gentle. "But I need to see you," I mutter.
"Need you to watch every fucking second of what I'm about to do to you.
" I set his glasses down like they’re precious. Look back at him like he isn't.
"Eyes on me, angel," I whisper, dragging my hips down against his. "Don't look away now." He doesn't.
"I wanna ride you."
He says it low, like he’s threatening me. My whole body jerks. Holy shit.
Don't be shy, Weston. Take me.
Ride me until the neighbors, your dad, call the cops.
Ride me till I see heaven and spit in its face.
Ride me to death, baby.
And if I survive? Round two. No mercy.
I push his pants down while kissing him. "Come on then, baby," I whisper, breathless. "Fucking ride me."
One move and he's on top of me now. Naked. Knees on either side of my waist. Hands on my chest. Breathing hard. Eyes blown wide. We're done prepping, and fuck, he's about to take me again.
My hands are glued to his waist. My breath is shaking. I know how Rava rides. This ain't gonna be gentle. Last time, I swear I saw the light. I legit thought that was it for me. I had a whole out-of-body experience.
Maybe he was born on a porn set. Who knows.
He grabs my dick, and smiles.
And then…he sinks down. Slowly.
My jaw drops open. My head hits the pillow. Swear to God, every single time I slide into him, it hits the same. That "fuck, I'm home" after a day full of bullshit and running around. That exact second when you drop your keys on the counter, kick your shoes off, and finally breathe.
That's what he feels like.
I look down and watch his ass swallow my dick. His face kills me. He looks so grateful. I smile. Look at you. Look how your fucking body takes it, Weston. Having a girlfriend was never your destiny. This is. You were born to be taken like this. Bent over, spread out. This is your place.
He moans, and sinks further.
More. More. All the way down. Until he's seated. Deep.
We both go still. His palms on my chest. My hands still locked on his waist. We're breathing hard.
He takes me all the way in. All of it.
My soul leaves my fucking body. He exhales like it's the best thing he's ever felt. He starts slow. Moves his hips forward and back, right over my dick, smooth as fuck.
And then he goes faster. Starts to ride. Hard. Slamming down again and again. My dick's pulsing inside him, and I literally can't stop watching him. His face. The way his head tilts back when he finds the right angle. The way he moans when I thrust up to meet him.
Sweet mother of God and every other divine being listening, I'm gonna die. Rava's not showing any mercy. He's riding me like he's mad at me.
The whole bed's shaking. I've got both hands locked on his ass, guiding him up and down, again and again.
Fuck. I reach up, grab the wooden headboard, fingers curling around it so tight I think it'll snap. I need something to hold on to, because Rava is grinding on my dick like he's going to take my freaking soul with him.
His ass hits my hips with wet, ruthless rhythm, skin slapping loudly. He leans in close, panting against my lips.