15. Alena
FIFTEEN
ALENA
Raphael stills as if he’s paused himself in time. Every part of him motionless.
Nothing flows through the bond, his side closed off, and I begin to worry something is wrong until he pulls back enough to peer into my eyes.
“Say it again,” he pleads softly, his eyes begging me.
This feeling is still so terrifying, I find myself taking yet another deep breath to steady myself before I admit, “I love you.”
I have loved him for years and years.
Ever since I first laid eyes on him as a child.
But I buried that love deep in the tainted soil of my heart, hiding it from myself. Afraid it would make me weaker.
Afraid it would make every day harder.
How could I survive what I survived knowing someone out there loved me?
Someone who didn’t even know I existed yet.
And was he real? Or was he a trick?
A cruel trick to give me hope so they could break it?
“Damn the Order,” Raphael curses. “Damn them all!”
I push the memory of waking up in his arms through the bond. How afraid I was. Not simply because he was a vampire, but because I remembered his face.
Remembered his words.
And what I felt for him when I first laid eyes on him.
A love greater than any other love I had ever felt.
Tears begin to spill from my eyes. I’ve finally given up all my secrets, and while it should be a relief, there is pain in being so exposed.
So vulnerable.
My strength has always been an act, a facade, to protect myself, and now he knows.
Knows all my secrets.
Knows I’ve always been a weak, broken soul…
“No, my love,” he says firmly. “Nothing about you is weak.”
He pushes his lips hard against mine, tasting my bloody tears. “And you were never broken. Only incomplete.”
Kissing me again, he murmurs against my lips, “Now you have me to make you whole.”
A sob spills from my mouth, and as if he’s suddenly become frenzied by my distress, he grabs my ruined dress. Tearing it open, he wraps me up in his arms and presses his skin against my skin.
Holding me tight to his chest, smashing my breasts against him, our love clashes against each other in the bond.
His always strong and unwavering.
Mine still afraid and unsure…
But beginning to bend to his will.
When my distress finally calms, I mumble in a rush, “I still don’t understand what happened when I went outside. The sun didn’t hurt me when it touched my skin, so I thought I was safe. I swear. Otherwise, I would have stayed inside.”
I need him to understand my actions.
Need him to understand I wasn’t trying to run away from him.
I want him, and I want to be with him.
Raphael sighs against my ear. “The sun did hurt you, but you didn’t feel it.”
I pull back enough to search his eyes. “What do you mean?”
His gaze immediately slides away, as if he’s afraid to meet mine. “I think it’s another one of your powers.”
“Powers?” I ask, even more confused now.
“All vampires have powers unique to them. Most of the powers come from gifts we had as humans,” he explains. “I think one of your powers is no longer feeling pain.”
I’d wonder why he won’t look at my eyes, but hearing I can no longer feel pain takes priority. After years and years of enduring it, I’m finally free?
“This is not necessarily a good thing,” he warns, and I sense his fear, his terror for me threatening to send him into a rage.
Fighting it back, he grabs my hand and kisses my fingertips one by one. “You have to be even more careful from now on. You must be more aware of your body. While we may be immortal, we can still die if we’re hurt badly enough and don’t heal ourselves with blood.”
Thinking on what he said, I frown. “Ambrose told me the sun wouldn’t kill me. Only hurt me and weaken me.”
His terror spikes again and he gives my index finger a hard bite. There’s no pain as his fangs sink into my skin until they touch my bone.
Only the tingling sparks of pleasure I experience every time he touches me.
Withdrawing his fangs, he bites his lip until it bleeds then kisses the spot he bit. I watch my skin knit back together with fascination.
“The sun won’t kill you itself,” he says. “But if you’re weakened enough, something else can. Do you understand? An animal, such as a bear, could have smelled your injuries and decided to kill you because you were in its territory. Or you could have stumbled upon a human hunting…”
He shudders as countless scenarios and possibilities flash through his head.
All ending with me dead.
Hating his distress, I reach up and grab his beautiful face. Then I turn his head until his dark eyes meet mine. “But you reached me in time. You saved me again.”
Sensing my words give him no comfort, I lean forward and push my mouth against his.
Giving him a tender kiss, I say into the bond, “Thank you.”
Sucking his bottom lip into my mouth, I resist the urge the bite him. “Thank you for always saving me.”
I run my tongue along the seam of his lips until he parts them. Before I can thrust my tongue into his mouth, his is plunging into mine. “Thank you for being everything I’ve ever wanted. Everything I’ve ever needed…”
Groaning in a mixture of pleasure and pain, he pushes me back on the bed.
His weight pressing down on me, I gasp in pleasure. “I love you.”
He kisses me hungrily, like he’s trying to pour all of his love inside me.
And I feel it.
Feel it spilling into the mark over my heart and spreading behind my ribs.
Fulfilling me in a way I didn’t know I needed.
Pushing my own love back into him, I let him know I’m no longer afraid of it.
Or his.
Like the sun, I want to bask in our love for eternity.
His fear fleeing, I become aware of something new awakening inside him. Something that’s been starving for this moment.
It creates a warm, liquid languidness that spreads through my limbs. Urging me to give into him.
To accept him.
All of him.
I gasp at the sensation, and Raphael tears his mouth away to kiss his way hungrily down to my neck.
His fangs scrape at my skin, and I long to have his bite. To have those fangs sinking into my flesh.
To feel that connection.
But he denies me, continuing his path downward.
When his mouth closes around my nipple, my spine comes up, off the bed.
With a growl, he pushes me back down.
His tongue lashes at me, the hunger awakened inside him growing stronger by the second and pulsing through our bond.
Becoming my hunger, too.
My hands grab at his shoulders, my nails digging into his skin, as I try to push his mouth harder into me.
He nips at my nipple, piercing it with the tip of one fang, and a zap of electric sensation courses through me, settling in my core.
Then he does it to the other one.
The blood in my veins buzzing, I squirm beneath him as he begins to kiss, nip, and suck his way down my stomach.
My clit throbs with the anticipation that he’ll put his mouth on it again.
Once he reaches my mons, though, he kisses a path toward my hip and grabs me by the back of my knee.
Then he strikes lightning fast and his fangs sink into the meat of my thigh.
There must be a venom in his bite , I think to myself as he pulls back a hard suck that feels like he’s tugging on my clit.
Chuckling inside my head, he drops my leg and grabs the other one.
“ There’s no venom in my bite, my stars ,” he says.
Then his fangs pierce me again.
My clit aches this time at the tugging sensation, dying to be touched.
Knowing exactly what I want through the bond, he slides his fangs out of me and purposely takes his time kissing and licking his way up my thigh.
Then, when he finally reaches where I need him, he takes a heartbeat to push his nose against my pussy and breathe me in.
“ Fuck, you smell delicious… ” he purrs.
Reaching down, I grab him by the hair and whine at him.
“ Use your words, love ,” he chastises. “ What do you want?”
Then, to be a total jerk, he blows a cool breath against my clit.
My hips thrust up as I say, “I want your mouth on me.”
“Your wish is my command…”
Turning his head, he bites the tender spot right next to my pussy.
“Not there!” I cry even as a delicious wave of bliss crashes into me.
“My mistake.” Raphael chuckles and carefully slides out his fangs. “Where do you want my mouth?”
I groan inwardly, and hear him chuckle deviously inside my head again.
He’s really going to make me say it. Say a word I’ve never spoken out loud…
But is it really out loud if it’s inside my head?
“Do you want it here?” he asks before he bites the top of my mons.
“Good grief!” I exclaim and bolt upright.
Only to be shoved back down by his big palm shoving against my chest.
And, of course, that damned palm of his is pressing right against my mark.
“You suck!” I screech as I twitch and spasm against the bed.
“Fuck,” Raphael growls and removes his hand.
Through the bond, I know he didn’t touch my mark intentionally, but the damage has already been done.
The unwanted throes have me in their grasp and don’t release me until I’m a panting mess.
I orgasmed.
I fucking orgasmed just from him touching the mark.
Raphael slides back up my body and tries to cup my cheek, his eyes pleading for forgiveness.
But I’m done playing games.
I push him away by shoving my hand into his chest. Then I sit up to face him.
“You know, after all the feelings we shared with each other, you could have been a lot nicer about this,” I point out.
He frowns at me in confusion. “What do you mean?”
Reaching down, I grab him by the cock and squeeze gently.
“I mean, you could have made sweet, gentle, love to me,” I purr as I stroke my hand up and down his length.
His cock is as slick as my thighs from all the precum spilling from the tip. Allowing my hand to easily glide up and down him.
Eyes almost rolling back in his head, he groans, “I only wanted to make you feel good.”
Leaning forward, I breathe into his ear as my grip tightens a little. “Mission accomplished.”
Then I nip at his lobe, allowing the tip of my fang to barely pierce it.
“Fuck!” he grunts loudly, and his hips buck up.
Using the bond to my advantage, I carefully gauge how close he is to coming.
Surprisingly, he’s very close from my little nip alone.
So I move my hand faster, stroking him until he’s at the very edge.
Then I let go.
“What the fuck?” he growls, but I’m already halfway across the room.
Just as my fingers wrap around the knob of the door leading to the bathroom, he grabs me and spins me around.
Pushing me up against the door, his slick erection presses against my stomach. “Where do you think you’re going?’
I smirk at him. “To clean up. I got mine, sorry you didn’t get yours.”
Raphael glares at me, seething through the bond.
To push him a little more, I look down at his cock and ask, “Do vampires get blue balls or is it a different color?”
Making a vicious, animalistic sound, he kisses me with a ferocity he’s never kissed me with before. “That is something you will never know.”
I’d make another quip, but I’m too focused on surviving the force of his kiss to think straight.
His lips, tongue, teeth, and fangs attack me with expert precision. Knowing every little thing that will drive me crazy and push me over the edge.
How hard to rub, how long to suck.
Where to bite and when to lick.
And when to give me a teasing taste of his sweet blood.
My toes curling against the floor, I try to kiss him back, but it’s hopeless.
Once more, I’m at his mercy.
I can’t keep up, even with my own hunger for him sizzling in my blood and threatening to light the very core of me on fire.
But this is what you really wanted, isn’t it? a little voice inside my brain says. You didn’t want him to be loving or gentle.
I try to shut that voice out because it’s absolutely ridiculous.
Sure, I may have pushed Raphael a little, but he started it, dammit. And besides, he deserves a little payback for turning me without my permission.
Keeping telling yourself that , the little voice says.
Yanking one of my legs up, Raphael begins to slide the tip of his cock up and down my slit.
Moaning into his mouth, I claw at his chest.
Growling back, he starts nipping hard at my lips and licking up my blood.
His desire fueling my desire, I nip back, only to sense through the bond how close it brings him to orgasm.
Fuck. I don’t want him to come yet. I need more.
The little voice inside my head laughs, and I’d swear it’s Raphael but it sounds completely different.
It sounds like a version of me as it says, Be careful or this time you’ll give him his before you get yours.
The voice pissing me off now, I suddenly shove hard at Raphael’s chest.
He takes a stumbling step back and glares at me like I just spit in his face or slapped him.
Taking a step forward, I grab him by the shoulders and shove him down to the floor.
“What the ever-living fuck?!” Raphael snaps at me and starts to stand up.
I quickly shove him back down while dropping with him. Positioning myself above him, I straddle his thighs with my knees.
Raphael opens his mouth, baring his bloody fangs at me, but I grab his cock before he can get a word out and shove my lips against his.
“What are you doing?” he groans inside my head.
Giving his slippery length a couple of quick strokes, I moan back, “Making sure we both get ours.”
“I don’t—” he starts to say, but stops the second I guide his weeping crown to my entrance and start to sink down on him.
“ Fuck ,” we groan together as the tip of his cock spreads my lips and pushes into my pussy.
I’m soaked from my earlier orgasm and there’s no resistance, but I still take my time. Enjoying what it feels like to have him fill me, but also what it feels like for him.
To have my wet, silky walls stretch around his velvety thickness.
Opening for him.
Welcoming him.
Then squeezing him as I finally bottom out.
Panting, I use my knees to slowly push myself up while clenching around him, torturing him inch by hard inch.
Lids lowering, eyes gleaming, he waits until I reach his crown before grabbing me by the hips and slamming me back down.
Spine arching, head dropping back, I cry out at the sudden and unexpected burst of pleasure.
Fingers digging into my hips, he uses them as a handle as he lifts me back up and slams me down again.
“Raphael!” I squeal as my ass slaps against his thighs.
“I let you have your fun,” he grunts as he keeps lifting me up and slamming me down on him. “Now it’s my turn.”
I shake my head back and forth in protest like I don’t want it. But every fiber of being is loving this. Loving him taking control of me and using me for his own pleasure.
Putting his inhuman strength to good use, he picks up speed. Lifting me up and down so fast and hard, my ass begins to clap against his thighs like cracks of thunder.
My breasts bounce hard against my chest. Sparks flash in front my eyes and electricity sizzles across my skin.
“ Look at me ,” Raphael commands.
Funny, I don’t even remember closing my eyes…
“ I said look at me! ” he demands more viciously and slams me down so hard his groin slaps against my clit.
My eyes flash open and I give him what he wants, meeting his golden gaze.
Gold… when did his eyes become gold?
As gold as the sun.
The sun I so desperately missed…
“ There you are ,” he rasps with a touch of wonder.
His rhythm never breaking or slowing.
“ Keep your eyes on me, don’t look away ,” he says tenderly.
His voice contradicting his harsh, frenzied actions.
“I need them.”
Surging his hips upwards, his cock strokes against that sensitive spot inside me. The one that drives me completely crazy. And I claw harder at him as he lifts me up and down so fast his arms are moving in a blur.
“I need you with me always,” he groans. “And in all ways.”
My hands desperately cling to him as I begin to shake from the intense pressure building in my core.
There’s so much swirling around inside me, like a maelstrom, a part of me fears I’ll burst.
“Come with me, my love,” he says, on the verge of begging. “Die with me and be reborn.”
When he pulls me down and grinds my clit against him, I couldn’t stop the explosion that rocks through me if I wanted to.
Slashing the bond between us fully open, he lets me experience everything surging through him. The pleasure of his balls tightening. The rapture of his own impending release.
A release he’s been waiting hundreds and hundreds of years for…
The sweet agony of pouring a part of his entire being into my tight, pulsing core.
And I respond in kind.
Allowing him to explode with me into a million sparkling stars that scatter throughout the universe.
Our releases mixing and joining together, it truly feels like what he said. Dying and being reborn again.
It’s both mind-blowing and breathtaking, and I never want it to end.
That little evil voice inside my brain whispers, It doesn’t have to.
Clinging tight to each other, chest to chest, we both tremble as our releases ebb and slowly fade away.
Burying my face into Raphael’s neck, I breathe him in.
Loving his scent.
A scent that will always call to me…
Then I finally give into the urge I’ve been fighting from the very beginning.
I sink my fangs in the side of his throat.
“Fuck!” Raphael grunts as his sweet blood floods my mouth and another orgasm rips through him.
I moan in delight.
Still connected to him, the orgasm rips through me as well, causing my walls to squeeze hard around his twitching shaft.
Experimenting, I simply pull on his neck again and fill my mouth.
Raphael shudders and his cock jerks, spilling more hot cum inside my clenching pussy.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” he roars in agonizing pleasure as yet another orgasm tears through us. “Draining me to death through my cock?!”
Giggling at his fury, I start to suck hard on his neck again.
Only to be stopped by my spine suddenly slamming into a wall hard enough to make a dent.
Blinking in confusion, I pull away from his neck and look at his face.
He stares a hole into me, his jaw set and his nostrils flaring.
Oh… he must be really mad if he’s breathing the way he is…
“I’m sorry,” I try to say seriously, but it comes out as another giggle. “But you taste so good…”
And he does.
He’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. I can’t help but crave him.
Crave him like a person dying of thirst… especially after the shitty blood he forced down my throat.
Eyes still golden, they pierce right through me, but I see something new in their depths. A darkness swirling around those beautiful, glittering irises.
His beast .
A shiver travels through me knowing it has come to the surface to join him.
Grabbing the back of my knee, he yanks my leg up and pulls back his hips.
Driving forward suddenly, he rams his cock deep inside me, only the barrier to my womb stopping him.
“You will learn to control your power with me,” he growls, sounding more like a monster than a man.
My head falls back into the dent as once more he expertly pushes against the little bundle of nerves buried inside me.
The little bundle of nerves that sucks all the strength out of me and makes me gasp as if I need the breath.
Pulling himself almost all the way out of me, my eyelids flutter before he slams in hard and deep again.
Squashing my ass against the plaster.
His voice drops even deeper. “Now bite me.”
Not needing to be told twice, I moan and strike like I’m a snake. My fangs instinctively finding their mark, they slide deep into the flesh of his neck.
When his cock jerks and my squeezing walls are splashed with his hot cum, he roars, “ No !”
I jerk away from his neck in surprise, knowing I messed up somehow. Then groan as he withdraws his hips, pulling himself out of me.
No matter how hard I clamp down, I can’t stop him.
Thankfully, he stops just before he’s completely pulled out of me and pierces me with his eyes.
Staring back, I feel all his cum running down my thighs.
What a waste , the little voice inside me chides.
Fuck off , I growl back. I can’t help it.
The voice laughs. Well, you better learn fast…
My clit suddenly lights up with sensation.
I was so busy arguing with my inner bitch, it takes me a second to the realize what happened.
Raphael slammed all his weight into me and trapped my clit between us.
“ Again ,” he commands.
Hesitant now, I move slower, chanting inside my head before my fangs sink into him.
Don’t come.
Please don’t come.
But his cock kicks inside me, pumping me full of heat.
Dammit!
Tears of frustration blurring my eyes, I yank myself off him before his rumbling growl can pass his lips. And try to shove him away.
Ignoring my shove, he sinks his claws into the plaster beside my head and purposely grinds himself against my trapped clit.
The sensation literally driving me up the wall, I raise up on my tiptoes.
Just before I end up coming myself, adding to the mess running down my legs, he stops.
And orders, “ Again! ”
I shake my head. I can’t do it. I can’t control this stupid power I’ve been fucking cursed with!
Why, out of all the powers I could have been given, must I be burdened with this shit?
All I want to do is drink from him!
His chest rumbles against my breasts, causing my nipples to tighten into hard points. “You can and you will.”
I wish I had his confidence.
“What if I can’t?” I whine and squirm, needing some relief from all the pressure on my clit.
His eyes pierce me so hard, they might as well be stabbing me.
“ You will ,” he repeats.
The longer I stare into his glittering irises, the more I fall under his spell.
Bits of the wall fall on my shoulder. Then he’s shoving his wrist against my lips as his eyes remain locked on mine.
“ We’ll keep practicing until you get it right ,” he purrs now.
I gently bite into his wrist, but his body jolts, more cum spilling out of him.
Cursing under his breath, his eyes darken, momentarily breaking the spell.
Grinding his hipbones against my hipbones, he tortures my poor trapped clit with more pressure in retaliation.
Leading me to the brink of my own orgasm, only to yank me back from the edge.
Shutting down his side of the bond, there’s a hard tug behind my ribs this time as he growls, “ Control it or you’ll never come again.”
Uh-oh! the evil bitch chuckles. Looks like you’ve done it now!
My body burning with unfulfilled need and wanting to prove that inner bitch wrong more than anything, I suck hard on his wrist in a mixture of frustration and determination.
Raphael’s eyes widen, but with his side of the bond closed off, I can’t share in his release this time.
With all the cum already inside me, I can’t even feel it.
A slow grin sliding across his lips and his eyes shifting back to gold, Raphael reopens the bond for a fraction of a second.
Just long enough to let me experience how tight his balls are and aching with his own unfulfilled need.
Then he slams the bond shut again and rolls his hips up, lifting me off my toes.
The plaster behind my spine cracking and his delicious blood still pouring down my throat, he thrusts and grinds into me until I’m the one shuddering and gushing all over him.
My pussy clamping around his pulsing cock, I’m lost in pure bliss as I watch the blackness swirl around his irises faster and faster.
He purrs both inside and outside my head, “Good girl.”