Chapter 18
Enzo
SHIT! THAT DID NOT GO WELL. “FUCK!” I’m running my hands through my hair, pacing on the hard wood floor of my office.
The look on her face, Shit! I know I screwed up.
I got caught in the moment. I had no intention of finger fucking the nanny when I got home today, but seeing her standing alone in the kitchen looking sad and lost, stirred something in me.
She’s a fucking beautiful woman, the only woman I’ve ever wanted since Vic.
I’ve been all but celibate since she left us.
I know what I saw in Elena’s eyes… she thinks I regret what happened just moments ago and by God, I wish that were the case.
But I don’t. On the contrary, I want her even more now than before.
Remembering her soft moans, the heat of her body pressed against mine, the soft velvet touch of her lips.
The woman is intoxicating and I’m a drunken fool.
My pet names for her couldn’t be more accurate. She’s a Siren and beauty personified… I’m the beast, a poor lonely sailor drifting towards her spell. She’s the Beauty to my Beast
I should go after her and explain, but I know she’s with Angelo.
I can hear her soft voice gently coaxing him back to sleep.
She’s fucking perfect in every way. My brother was right.
I had struck gold when I hired her. I knew she’d be a great fit for the position.
I knew in my heart that she’d be good for my son.
I didn’t bargain on her stirring up emotions within myself though.
My feelings for her have been growing rapidly, it’s why I stay at the office late and only come home when I know she’s retired for the night.
Every single moment in her presence feels like a betrayal to Vic and it’s eating me inside.
The woman is like a drug and I just can’t get enough to satisfy my hunger and after getting that small taste… I fear I may be addicted.
Vic and I shared a sweet, loving relationship.
I loved her deeply, still love her deeply.
Our love making had been sensual and romantic.
I treasured her. I loved her unconditionally and I savoured her flawless body.
One might say our intimate moments were of the vanilla sort.
That’s how we were together, sweet, loving, pure.
That’s how I liked it. We were joined at the hip, neither one going anywhere without the other and then Angelo came and that bond only strengthened with our joined love for the life we created together… our son.
What I feel for Elena though… It’s not love; we hardly know each other for it to be anything remotely close to love.
But I feel a burning hunger, I crave her.
Her mere presence brings out the beast in me.
I don’t want to be soft and gentle with Elena…
no… I want to consume her, to devour her, to roam her body with my mouth, to mark her, to make her mine.
But I can’t do that. She makes me feel, feral, like a primate in heat.
I can still taste her in my mouth. She’s fucking delicious.
For now, I can’t see a way to make this right, but I know we need to talk. I need to set things straight. I move around my desk, taking a seat in the comfortable leather chair and pull out my phone. I’ll text her.
She’s still talking to Angelo; he’s scared of the thunder. Leaning in close to listen like the creep that I am, I feel a small tug in my chest.
“You’re okay sweetheart. Nothing will ever harm you.” Angelo sniffs… he’s been crying. Elena hasn’t turned the monitor off for which I’m incredibly grateful. Given her state when she ran off, I’m not surprised that she forgot.
“Tell you what angel, would you like me to sleep here with you?”
“Uh huh.” Again, that tightness seizes my chest and I can’t help but be jealous of my son. I’m an asshole.
“Okay munchkin, I’ve got you. Now be a brave boy and close your eyes. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Luv you Ellie.”
“I love you too Angel. Now go to sleep.”
Then it’s quiet. Looking at my phone with Elena’s contact open, I decide not to text her right away. I think it best to give her some time and then we can talk. For now, I need a cold shower to quell this hunger I have for my nanny.
It doesn’t work, instead I find myself in a hot shower fisting my length to the memory of Elena. Her smouldering kiss, her soft moans, her ample breasts pushing into my chest. The way she clenched around my fingers, the taste of her in my mouth.
Fuck! That’s all it took for my balls to draw up, the pressure that had been building at the base of my spine finally release as thick ropes spurt onto the tiles in the shower.
Panting under the hot spray I manage to catch my breath and clean myself and the shower walls before heading to bed.
The sun is shining; the birds are irritatingly chirpy… aaaand my phone is dead. I can tell; it’s going to be an epic day of fuck ups. Getting out of bed, I make my way to my bathroom… pondering all the ways I can make a bigger asshole of myself.
It’s still early, but I know Elena will be up with Angelo.
Coward that I am, I don’t want to risk seeing her…
not yet. My male pride can’t handle it. So, I make my way downstairs and tiptoe through the back, hoping to make a quick escape.
Reaching out for the door handle, triumph shines happily on my face as I turn the doorknob to head out.
“PAAPA!”
Fuck! So close. As much as I love my son, I was hoping to avoid any interaction that may give me face time with Elena. I don’t have the courage to face her… not now… tonight perhaps… after a stiff drink.
“Bambino!” I turn around opening my arms out to him. He comes running my way and slams himself into my leg, hands going around my knee, holding on tight. I’m in for it now. I can hear Elena coming this way from the living room.
“Angel! You get back here right now and finish your cereal. I swear to God I’m going to kill that uncle of yours for slipping you trea…”
Her sentence is cut off when she spots me. She stops dead in her tracks, staring at me, posture rigid, hackles up.
“Hi!”
Yes, I know. I finger fucked this woman to orgasm last night, gave her the impression I regretted every minute of it, then I jacked myself off in my shower, woke up early to sneak out of my own house and now, having been caught running away, all I manage is a pathetic HI.
There’s a special place in hell for me.
“Uhm…Hi!” Her voice is a small whisper, laced with hurt and it breaks my heart.
“Elena, I…”
“No!”
There’s a finality in her tone that I don’t like when she cuts me off. Rightfully so, God knows what mumbo jumbo was about to hurl out of my mouth.
“There is no need for explanations. It is what it is and I can’t take it back. I do however, apologise for my part. It was inappropriate. You’re my boss and I should know better. So don’t feel guilty. It was a lapse in judgement, it happens, we’re only human.”
She calls out to Angelo, holding her hand out for him and the little traitor abandons me for the beauty before me.
“I’ll see you tonight mia bambino.” I walk over to him and bend down to kiss him on the top of his head.
“Luv yooo paaapa.”
“Ti amo, bambino.”
Straightening up I adjust my jacket and manage unwillingly to look Elena in the eye. I hope she can see in my eyes how sorry I am. I really do need to set things straight with her.
She breaks eye contact first.
Bending down, she picks Angelo up and props him on her hip then with a firm…
“Goodbye Lorenzo.” … she turns to leave.
Shit! Say something! I coax myself. My internal dialogue is becoming worrisome with how much self-loathing and backhanded verbal jargon I’ve managed to spew at myself.
“Elena!” It comes out harsher than I anticipated and she stops in her tracks.
“We do need to talk. I will be going to New York for two days. I leave tonight at 8pm. When I get back, we’ll talk. I handled this badly and I know you think I have regrets… and I do… but not about you, and not about what happened last night. If nothing else, believe that.”
Nothing! The silence is deafening. I couldn’t have possibly fucked it up again, could I? I search her face for a sign of acknowledgement, understanding, anything… but she gives me nothing. Staring at me like I’ve told her an untruth.
“Elena, I mean it, I…”
At that she inhales deeply as if preparing to say something… but all I get is a nod and she’s gone.
I don’t know how to deal with this. I’ve handled screaming and shouting, banging doors, the ominous “I’m fine!” when you most certainly know that it is indeed not fine. But this silence? I haven’t endured that and it’s unsettling.
It’s almost as if she didn’t believe a word I had said and simply resigned to whatever may be.
Her reaction is unsettling.
Two days have gone by in a flash; I’m due to leave New York in three hours. I decide to give mama a call before I leave for the airport. I need a favour and I know she won’t be able to say no.
The flight was absolute shit. On top of being delayed by an hour due to maintenance, the flight was rough and bumpy with turbulence.
Add insult to injury, I made sure to eat before boarding to avoid the mediocre, repulsive inflight meal.
After been jostled around in a giant suppository, said meal has been threatening to make a reappearance.
Looking at my reflection in the restroom of the airport terminal, my complexion has a touch of green.
Something along the lines of moss and Shrek green… charming.
Once my stomach relented from trying to escape through my mouth, my colour improved and my mood with it. Now on to important business. How to say you’re sorry?
Chocolates! Who doesn’t love chocolates and flowers… I’ll get her flowers too. Walking out of the airport with a large bouquet and a massive box of chocolates, a smile spreads across my face. I think I may actually get it right this time… I hope.
A text notification on my phone breaks my thoughts and I pull the device out of my pocket to see a text from Elena.