Chapter 21
Elena
IDON’T SPEAK. I don’t move. My hand remains on his back. He’s still breathing heavily, sweat dripping down his spine. Does he even know what he said?
I don’t think he meant to call me by his dead wife’s name.
I doubt he actually called me at all. I think he came apart at the seams and called for his wife.
Victoria was a comfort for Enzo. He had told me how close they were, having a connection like that severed so tragically…
surely that would cause a shit ton of emotional trauma.
This was a broken man frantically reaching for the tether that held them together. It’s beautifully tragic really.
So, I stay still.
Lying there.
With this gorgeous tortured man on top of me.
My hand, still on his back, I slowly rub circles in a soothing motion.
I should be angry. Insulted even.
But I can’t. Sure, it’s disheartening and I wish he never uttered her name but I can’t say I blame him. I actually envy the love they had together.
The irony of the situation doesn’t go unnoticed. Lorenzo used me as the tether to his past love and I used him to escape my own.
I’m still lost in my thoughts when a shift in weight pulls me out of my head. Thoughts of Matt and that day had stirred up emotions in me, a stray tear escaping in its wake. I quickly wipe it away before focusing my gaze on Lorenzo.
The green horrified eyes staring back at me takes me by surprise. His eyes seem to glow and widen in fear and panic, realisation dawning on him.
“Enzo? Are you okay?”
The look of utter devastation on his face breaks my heart.
“Enzo?”
Nothing.
“Enzo, what’s wrong?” Worry starts to creep into my chest.
“I… Oh my God Elena. I am so, so sorry.”
He backs up and sits up on the bed taking the sheets with him. My body trembles from the loss of heat.
Hastily he springs from the bed and grabs his boxers and pants, making swift work of pulling them back on.
Then he crawls back onto the bed and pulls me up to a sitting position while he drapes the sheets around me.
“Lorenzo, what is it?”
“I hurt you.” His voice cracks.
“I don’t know why I said it. And now you’re crying.
We had a perfectly good thing here; it was nothing short of amazing and I went and fucked it up…
again. I’m so sorry Elena. I didn’t mean to say it.
I don’t understand where it came from. I wasn’t even thinking of her when we were…
oh my God… please.” He takes my hands in his.
“Please, you have to know that what we did meant so much to me. It was absolutely mind-blowing. I am so completely enamoured by you. You brought out feelings in me that I never knew I had. It’s never been that way for me before, not even with her.
” He swallows, as if he let out some deep seeded truth that he didn’t want to admit.
But I understand it all too well. I felt it too.
This was different. The intensity was almost nuclear.
“Enzo, I wasn’t crying because of you or what you said.
It’s just that hearing you call out for Victoria made me realise that the two of you had a love I could only dream about and I was thinking about Matt and things that…
that happened when I went back to Michigan.
That’s why I was crying. It’s silly really because I knew all along, he was an unloving and inattentive ass but it… still hurts, you know?”
“How are you so perfect?”
“You flatter me Mr. Marino.”
“Seriously, I called out my dead wife’s name post sex and you aren’t mad?”
“It’s not ideal, but we aren’t making any commitments here, are we?
I know you still love your wife. I know what you both shared was extremely rare and special.
I’m not ignorant Enzo. I know what I signed up for when I suggested we do this.
I was not expecting an epic love story where the single dad falls in love with the nanny.
I needed to forget Matt and you needed to scratch an itch, for lack of a better term. ”
“You’re absolutely amazing. A Siren in every sense of the word. You have the power to ruin a man, Elena.”
“Now don’t go falling in love with me Mr. Marino. That’s not what we agreed on.”
I try to make light of the situation. I can tell that Enzo is truly conflicted and obviously feeling extremely bad for what happened. So, I do what I feel is best to help him in his moment of turmoil. I offer him comfort.
Patting the bed, I motion for him to lay down beside me. He looks bewildered.
“Ease your mind Enzo. You’re allowed to be human. Now come here and lay down.”
I make my way to my chest of drawers to get a t-shirt to wear.
I put the oversized t-shirt on and hop back in bed.
A few moments pass when I feel the bed dip behind me as Enzo settles in next to me.
Another few moments pass before he turns towards me, pulling me closer to him.
My back to his chest. We snuggle like that in silence until my eyes start to droop and sleep swiftly takes me over.
I’m drifting off into beautiful slumber when I swear, I hear Enzo’s words.
“You’re ruining me, Elena.”
Then I’m lost in the warmth of sleep as darkness covers me.
It's the early hours of the morning when the sound of shuffling wakes me. I open my eyes just in time to see my bedroom door close. And just like that, our night together is over.
I know it was me that came up with the offer; it was me who initiated last night and it was me who insisted that there be no strings attached…
I stand by my decision. I have no intention of risking my heart with anyone, but I can’t shake the feeling that something happened last night, something deeper than just sex.
Perhaps it’s just my sex starved libido, reading into something that’s not there, or maybe it’s just that the sex was that good.
Whatever the case may be, it’s over now, and I’m fine with that.