Chapter 13
Lyrian
I stood at the window of our bedroom, watching the guards patrol the grounds below. They looked tense, as if expecting something significant to happen at any moment. I hoped they were wrong.
Four months ago, such surveillance would have made me flee in the opposite direction. Now... now I found myself counting them, making sure they were all in position. The realization made me uncomfortable. I never thought I would find myself in this situation.
When had I become this person? When had I started thinking like someone who belonged in a cartel? And then, the answer came to me. When I met Zoren for the first time.
One of the twins kicked, a gentle reminder of why everything had changed. I placed my hand over the spot, feeling their magic pulse beneath my skin. They were growing stronger every day, their combined power already surpassing what I could safely handle alone.
"You're brooding again," Mae said from behind me. She'd just finished my weekly check-up, but I knew she wasn't just my healer anymore. She had always been someone I could trust, but now even more so. She knew so much about me.
"I'm not brooding," I protested, but I knew it wasn't convincing. "I'm... just contemplating is all."
She snorted, gathering her equipment. As I said, she knew me well. She would never believe a lie like that one.
"You're wondering if you've lost yourself by accepting protection. I see it in your face every time I come for these check-ups."
Was I that transparent? Probably. After all, I'd spent my entire life running, hiding, trusting no one. Now I was letting others fight my battles, and it felt... wrong. Right. Terrifying. Safe. All at once.
What a mess.
"It's not just the protection," I admitted. "It's everything. The way Zoren reorganized the entire cartel for me, how everyone here treats me like I'm made of glass. Sometimes I feel like I'm disappearing into this role they've created for me."
"The role of Zoren's mate?" Mae raised an eyebrow. "Or the role of someone worth protecting?"
It was a difficult question, one I didn't want to answer right now. But at the same time, I knew I had to, for her.
I turned from the window, absently tracing the moonstone pendant Zoren had replaced after the garage incident. This one was stronger, infused with his own power as well as mine.
His action spoke volumes about how much he cared about me.
"Both. Neither. I don't know anymore." I sighed, settling into a chair. "Yesterday, I caught myself giving orders to the security team. Me, giving orders in a cartel. What would my grandmother think?"
"She'd think you were keeping her great-grandchildren safe," Mae spoke, and her tone made it clear she wasn't just saying it to make me feel better—she truly believed her words. "There's no shame in accepting help when you need it."
" But that’s the thing—I’ve never needed this much help before. People helped me, yes, but I was mostly on my own when I was on the run."
"And now?"
Now. Now everything was different. The babies' magic flared again, reminding me why I couldn't just run anymore. Why I didn't want to.
"Now I have the Crimson Fangs' omega sister arriving tomorrow, looking to me for guidance because somehow I've become an example of how to survive. Me, the person who spent his whole life running from it. I don't know if I can help her."
Mae sat across from me, her expression serious. "You're not just surviving anymore, Lyrian. You're living. There's a difference. You've found someone who cares about you."
I knew she was right. In the past months, I'd experienced more than just safety. I'd found love, purpose, and even a strange sort of family among these dangerous people. But still... It wasn't how I thought my life was going to be like. Not by a long shot.
"I feel like I'm losing my edge," I confessed. "Before, I could sense danger a mile away. Now I rely on Zoren's guards. Before, I made all my own decisions. Now I consider how everything will affect the cartel. I was used to being on my own."
"And is that really such a bad thing?" Mae challenged. "Your empathic abilities are stronger than ever. You're not losing your edge—you're gaining new ones."
She had a point. Since revealing my empathic powers to Zoren, I'd stopped suppressing them so much. The results had been surprising. I could sense intentions more clearly, understand motivations more deeply. It was useful, especially in this world of shifting alliances.
It was also dangerous. I knew some people in the cartel resented that particular power. They believed it gave me control over everyone, even though that wasn't true.
"I just... I don't want to become someone who can't stand on their own," I said. There—it was finally out in the open. I wondered how she was going to react.
"Standing on your own doesn't mean standing alone," Mae replied. "You're not weaker for accepting support. If anything, you're stronger for knowing when to accept it."
A knock at the door interrupted us. Viktor entered, his expression carefully neutral. He was pretending he wasn't thinking what he was, and how tense he was thanks to me.
"Mr. Larimar, there's a situation that requires your attention."
Three months ago, no one would have consulted me about cartel business. Now it was becoming routine, and I wished it wasn't. Still, couldn't do much about that right now.
"What kind of situation?" I asked, hoping he was going to be brief.
"The local alphas are requesting a meeting. They want to discuss the changes in territory distribution, but..." He hesitated. "They specifically asked for you to be present. They feel you might be more... diplomatic than Zoren."
I almost laughed. They weren't wrong. Zoren's idea of diplomacy usually involved barely veiled threats.
Did they really think I had that much influence over him? If so, they were mistaken. Zoren occasionally considered my ideas and suggestions, but most of the time, he just did whatever he wanted.
"I'll handle it," I found myself saying. "Set it up for next week, here in the compound." Internally, I sighed. I'd really rather not have to do that.
Viktor nodded and left. Mae gave me a knowing look. I could tell what she was thinking.
"What happened to losing your edge?"
I smiled ruefully. "Maybe I'm not losing it. Maybe I'm just using it differently."
Later that night, curled against Zoren's chest, I voiced my earlier concerns.
"Am I changing too much?"
His fingers traced patterns on my skin, his touch grounding me as always. I knew what he was going to say before he said it.
"You're adapting. There's a difference."
"But am I adapting because I want to, or because I have to?"
"Does it matter?" He propped himself up on one elbow, looking down at me. "You're still you, Lyrian. Still independent, still strong. You've just added new strengths."
I felt his sincerity through our bond, saw it in his eyes. I knew he told me the truth, but was it enough? "How can you be so sure?"
"Because you still challenge me," he said with a slight smile. "You still argue when you think I'm wrong. You're not submitting to the cartel—you're making it submit to you, in your own way."
And he was right, I realized. I hadn't lost myself; I'd expanded who I was. The person who could survive alone in the shadows was still there, but now there was more. Now there was someone who could stand in the light, protected but not confined, supported but not controlled.
I no longer had to be the person I used to be. I was better than that.
"I love you," I whispered, letting him feel the truth of it through our bond.
"I know," he replied, his hand settling over our children. "That's why I trust you to find your own way in this world I've built. Because you'll make it better, make it yours too."
Maybe that was the answer. Not losing myself or finding myself, but building something new. Something that combined who I was with who I could be.
Could I do that? And then, the answer came. As long as he was with me, I could.
The twins kicked again, their magic harmonizing with both mine and Zoren's. They didn't care about independence versus protection. They just knew they were safe, loved, and surrounded by power that would never harm them.
Maybe I could learn from that.
As Zoren still held me close, his words resonating in my mind, something strong exploded in me. He was right - I wasn't losing myself; I was evolving, expanding my horizons beyond the lone wolf existence I once led. With him by my side, I could do anything and people couldn't easily hurt me like they could before.
Zoren's hand drifted lower, tracing the curve of my hip as he gazed into my eyes. The air between us grew charged with tension, desire sparking like electricity along every point where our bodies touched. I knew what he wanted, and it was the same thing I desired. I could see it in his eyes.
As if everything was happening in slow motion, he leaned in until his lips hovered a mere breath away from mine.
"I want to show you just how much you belong here,"he murmured, his voice low and husky."To remind you of everything we share. I didn’t think I'd need to, but here I am—always willing to do whatever it takes for you."
Before I could respond, he captured my mouth in a searing kiss, pouring all his passion and possession into the embrace. I melted against him, surrendering to the heat building between us as my hands roamed over the hard planes of his back and shoulders.
He rolled me onto my back, settling his weight atop me without putting pressure on my pregnant belly. His kisses trailed down my neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin, leaving blooming marks of claim in their wake. His fingers found all the right pressure points, until I was arching beneath him, aching for more contact.
Zoren took his time worshipping every inch of exposed flesh, his calloused hands skimming reverently across my stretched skin. When he reached the waistband of my pants, he paused, glancing up at me with a cocked eyebrow. At my nod of permission, he continued his exploration, slipping inside to wrap around my hardening length.
A groan tore from my throat at the intimate caress, hips bucking. He stroked me slowly, teasingly, drawing out the pleasure until I was panting harshly above him. I was already having difficulty breathing.
But he didn't stop there—deft fingers dipped lower, circling and pressing against that secret spot deep inside that made stars explode behind my eyelids.
"Ahh... fuck..."I gasped, thighs trembling and toes curling from the intense sensations radiating outward from my core. That was about the only thing I could say at the moment. I couldn't think clearly.
Zoren drank in each reaction, relishing the control he held over my body's responses.
Leaning down, he engulfed the head of my cock in the wet heat of his mouth, swirling his tongue around the sensitive glans. Sparks raced up my spine at the dual stimulation, pushing me closer to the precipice embarrassingly fast. My balls drew tight, signaling my impending release.
But I needed him closer, wanted us to come undone together. Reaching down, I fisted a hand in his hair, tugging gently to urge him off my throbbing member. I really didn't want him to make me reach my orgasm so soon.
"Please,"I rasped, meeting his heated gaze."I want to feel you when I let go. Want your cum mixed with mine..."
Understanding flared in those dark depths before he surged upward, claiming my mouth in a filthy kiss so I could taste myself on his lips. Deft hands divested us of the last of our clothing before positioning himself at my entrance, the thick head of his erection nudging at my rim.
He was huge—impossibly so. No matter how many times we had sex, that thought always crossed my mind.
With one smooth thrust, he hilted himself fully inside me, stretching me around his girth. We both groaned at the exquisite sensation, savoring the feeling of completeness that always accompanied this moment. For a moment, he remained still, allowing me to adjust to his size.
It was something that always had to happen. Otherwise, the pain would be overwhelming.
Then, he began to move, setting a deep, rolling rhythm that stirred the embers of my arousal into a raging inferno once more. Each powerful snap of his hips drove him impossibly deeper, striking that perfect bundle of nerves deep within that sent lightning crackling through my veins.
After having sex with me so many times, he knew exactly where that spot was.
Lost in the haze of pleasure, I matched him thrust for thrust, climbing rapidly toward climax under his relentless assault. The obscene sound of skin slapping against skin echoed in the room, punctuated by our harsh pants and guttural moans of ecstasy.
Tension coiled ever tighter in my abdomen as my orgasm approached, my untouched cock jerking against my stomach with each pass of his pelvis. Sensing my imminent completion, Zoren shifted the angle of his thrusts, hammering directly into that sweet spot that made vision flash white behind closed lids.
"Come for me,"he growled, voice roughened with lust and barely restrained control."Show me what a good omega you are."
His command, delivered with a particularly sharp grind of his hips, catapulted me over the edge into blissful oblivion. Throwing my head back with a silent scream, I came harder than I ever had before, my release spurting forth in seemingly endless ropes to splatter across my chest and face.
As if he was far away from it, I felt Zoren swell and pulse within me as he found his own peak, flooding my insides with his scorching seed even as he pumped through the aftershocks. With difficulty to remain awake, I registered the sensation of his essence marking me from within, flooding my insides.
And then, after closing my eyes, I could only think about what would happen tomorrow. There were so many things to do.