Chapter 19
Jude
The most beautifulmess I’ve ever witnessed is Frankie standing in the pouring rain, hair slicked to her skin, mud covering the front of her body as she tells me she’s fine.
The image stitches itself to my core.
One I’ll never forget.
One I’ll never want to.
“You should go in the house and get changed.”
Blue lips encase chattering teeth, yet she still manages to grin. “I’ll be okay. This seems like more fun.”
“He needs a bath. He’s as dirty as you are.”
“I think you can count yourself in that statement.”
I look down at the mud splashed across my tee.
“The three of us are a mess.” I huff a laugh and deposit Elvis in the wash station.
“Can I help?”
“Sure.” I spot a box of heavy duty garbage bags. “Give me your arm.”
She tugs up her sleeve to reveal her purple cast and inspects the plaster. “It looks dry.”
“Let’s keep it that way.”
The bag rustles as I wrap her arm, first putting her hand inside then securing the top until it’s water tight.
“How does it feel?”
She moves her arm around before wrestling her sleeve back into place. “I think it’ll hold up just fine.”
Frankie takes a place near Elvis’s head and strokes his chin. “You’ll be okay, sweet boy.”
“There’s treats next to you, but some dogs are too anxious to eat. Keep talking to him while I start with a rinse.”
She holds up a little brown beef nugget. Elvis cautiously pulls it from her fingers.
“That’s a good puppy.” His ears rotate as she caresses his head.
I click on the sprayer and wait for the temperature to warm. Feeling pricks to life in my numb fingers beneath the trickle. “I’m going to start on his legs to get him used to it.”
Reddish-brown rivulets run into the white tub. Elvis dances a little as I switch legs.
“So what happened exactly?”
“It was the rain.” Frankie sighs and rests her chin on her casted forearm against the tub. Her fingertips stroke Elvis’s head and for a second, I’m jealous of my dog. I wonder what it’d feel like to have her touching me like that, looking at me with her full attention while running her fingers through my hair. “The thunder in the distance spooked him.”
“When you called I must have been getting back into the van and didn’t hear it ring. I checked it when I was almost home, and tried to call you back, but then you didn’t pick up.”
“I was a little busy,” she huffs and pushes a wet lock of hair from her cheek. “That was probably about the time I was rolling around in the mud.”
“I got scared.” My quiet confession is barely audible above the sprayer and the storm outside. My compulsion was in full force as I raced back home. “Fuck, I don’t like that feeling.”
“I know,” she answers just as quietly. “I probably shouldn’t admit this, but it makes me feel good that you were worried about me.”
Her admission feels like a dagger twisting in my heart. The fucking awful way she’s been treated isn’t right. Not for her. Not with how fucking special she is. “You deserve to have people care about you.”
She clears her throat. “We all do. It just feels extra nice coming from you.”
The sprayer slips from my hand and blasts her in the arm.
“Jude!” Her shriek explodes into a burst of laughter. “I’m drenched enough.”
“Shit.” I readjust the spray. “At least it’s warm.”
“That did feel good.”
“Let’s get this guy finished up so we can get you into some dry clothes. You’re going to get sick.”
“It’s a good thing I have a pretty skilled nurse.” Her tiny elbow digs into my ribs.
One final rinse over Elvis and I deem him clean enough to sleep in the house. Frankie helps me wrap him tight in towels to protect him from the rain but also to provide pressure as we run back out into the storm. I have a thunder jacket in the house I can fit him into, and it might help him sleep better tonight after I give him some medicine.
With Elvis tight in my hold, we race back through the pouring rain into the house. Frankie opens the staff door, and we both burst in, laughing and dripping across the hardwood, puddles forming where we stand. The sound of the wind cuts off as she shuts the door behind me and leans against it to catch her breath.
“This weather is crazy!”
“It seems intense for so early in the spring. At least the rest of the snow will melt.” Setting Elvis on his feet, I dry him once more with the towels.
“Where’s he sleeping tonight?”
“I’ll put him in a kennel so he can be nice and comfortable. The cover over the top will make him feel like he’s in a den, and hopefully, the meds will put him right to sleep.”
Frankie crouches down to scratch around Elvis’s ears. “Sleep good, puppy.”
“Stop calling all my dogs puppies. You’re going to confuse them.”
She peers up at me from the floor, the position sending ideas to my cock I have to fight to ignore. “All dogs are puppies. I’m surprised you haven’t given up on this argument yet.”
“You’re nuts, you know that?”
“I think you like it.”
“Keep telling yourself that.”
But the smile on my face as I settle Elvis for the night proves her right. Not that I’m ready to admit the truth.
Frankie’s still waiting when I return.
“You hungry?” I ask as we walk tiredly up the stairs.
Frankie stifles a yawn. “I stink. I can’t eat until I clean up. Who knows how many dogs have peed in that mud I fell in.”
“You probably don’t want to think about that.” I grimace.
“I think I need to get cleaned up. What about you?”
“I didn’t take as big of a dive into the mess as you clearly did, but Elvis was far from clean.” I pinch my tee away from my chest. “This is disgusting. I might need to burn it.”
“Please don’t burn mine.” She wraps her arms tight around herself. “I like this jacket very much.”
The jacket in question is one of mine she’s borrowed since she came here. Much like my tee shirt she sleeps in night after night.
I wonder if I have any other items of clothing she can borrow. There’s no denying I enjoy seeing her in my stuff.
“Your clothes are safe from me. After you.” I sweep my hand in a gesture for her to precede me up the stairs, and I try not to stare at her ass.
Okay, so I stare a little. I’m only a man after all.
And she has a fine ass. A perfect upside-down heart.
“Tonight has been ridiculous.” She laughs at the top of the landing. With the twist of her hand, she throws open the door to the bathroom.
I realize then that while I’ll be naked in the shower in my en suite, she’ll be naked on the other side of the wall.
Fuck.
I don’t stand a chance. There’s no way I won’t jerk off knowing she’s wet and naked at the same time. My willpower is only so strong, and I’ve been fighting my attraction to her since she got here, along with a steady stream of erections. The kiss broke through my walls, and despite building them back up in the interim, they’re rubble at my feet right now.
“Yeah,” I rasp, lost for an intelligible response.
The storm rages outside. A boom of thunder shakes the house. The windows rattle, and the wind howls before we’re plunged into complete darkness. Lightning flashes through the windows, offering temporary light before extinguishing.
Over the wind, the sound of our heavy breaths fill the space between us. My hands curl into fists. The anxiety I’ve known most of my life slithers insidiously through me. A steady beat thrums in my head, nagging me to count each pulse. A warning – I’m not safe until I do.
One. Two.
Three. Four.
I need candles. It’s not the storm I’m afraid of but the lack of power. If I don’t light one candle for each member of my family, they might not be safe, and it’ll be my fault.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
My shoulders heave as I stand frozen in the middle of the hallway, grateful Frankie can’t see me breaking down.
Eight.
I always light seven candles, but maybe I should find eight so Frankie has one too?
Nine.Ten.
I squeeze my eyes shut, fighting against the compulsions. My lungs burn as I forget to breathe, and my stomach cramps with nausea.
Frankie crashes into me. Her hands find the sides of my head, yanking me down until her lips find mine in the dark.
My mind goes blank.
Suddenly, it’s nothing but the feel of her. The feel of her breath on my face, her tongue licking into my mouth. I groan at the taste of her I’ve only revisited every night in my dreams.
I haul her tight against me until only her toes remain on the floor. She wraps her casted arm around my back. I lift and push her back into the bathroom until we crash through the half-open door. The wood bangs against the wall, and one of the dogs downstairs barks.
Dainty, eager fingertips find the hem of my rain-soaked tee shirt. She curls it over my head and drops the sodden material to the floor. I stiffen, knowing what hides beneath, but she can’t see me in the dark.
At the same time, I shove the heavy jacket over her shoulders, where gravity does the rest of the work and drags the material to her wrists. She works on pulling it off while I return to tear her tee shirt over her head.
Our mouths separate for only the half a second needed to rip her shirt over her wet hair before we’re on one another again like we can’t get enough.
And I fucking can’t get enough.
She tastes like the first breath of fresh air after a panic attack subsides. When the numbers fade into the background and I can concentrate on reality. If I could bottle that feeling, it’d be exactly what I feel at this moment with her right now.
Frankie is my peaceful place personified.
My fingers find the clasps of her bra, and a second later, we’re both bare together for the first time.
“Touch me,” Frankie pleads against my mouth. “Please, Jude,” she begs.
A groan rumbles in my chest as I wrap my hand around her firm breast. The hard nipple juts against my palm. I rotate my wrist in a circle, stimulating the tip while feeling the weight of her in my hand. I bury my face in her neck and taste the delicate skin as her hands find the button on my jeans. She unsnaps and unzips the denim, her fingers brushing against my hard cock as she loosens the material. With a shove, they pool around my ankles, where I step out of the restrictive fabric.
“Your turn.” My voice is hoarse as I speak against her dewy neck. I let go of her breast to flick open her jeans. I’m much more controlled in releasing the zipper, dragging out each click of the teeth until she’s writhing and panting in my hold. Curling my fingers around the edges of her jeans, I slowly tug the soaked material over the curves of her hips and ass, dropping to my knees at her feet as I pull the sticky denim down.
One after the other, I free her feet and repeat the motion with her scrap of underwear.
She gasps as the cold air hits her cunt. The sound revealing the sight I can’t see. I imagine her head tipped back, eyes slitted in pleasure in the dark as her mouth drops open on a pant. I slide my hands up her legs, tracing her thighs until my thumbs meet the edge of her triangle, and the silky patch of skin there.
“Fuck, I need to taste you.”
One hand snakes around to the top of her ass, holding her still. I lean forward and press a kiss right above her clit. Frankie pants. Searching fingers slide into my hair, and she grips the soaked strands.
I palm her ass cheek, sliding my pinkie along her crack. My tongue flicks out against her clit, pressed flat against the little bud. I stroke her gently, gathering the first taste of her pussy on my tastebuds and lap at her like it’s the first ice cream cone of the summer I’m eager to savor. Slow, broad strokes.
Sliding lower, she gasps and whines above me. “Open for me, Frankie.” I nudge her thigh with my shoulder. As she spreads farther, I slip my fingers between her legs and touch her soaked slit.
“You’re dripping, baby. Is this all for me?”
“Mm – fuck, hmm. Yes.”
Just hearing her swear sends a rush of arousal to my cock. It juts hard and obscene between my legs. I pull my hand away to rub her slickness against me, giving myself two steady strokes before returning to work her cunt.
I lick her and drive my middle finger inside. The sounds of my finger fucking her fills the small bathroom, revealing to us both how wet she is. She moans and fists my hair, pulling my mouth tighter against her as she grinds herself against my tongue.
She tightens around me, and I surge to my feet, taking her mouth again as I slip my fingers out.
A protesting whimper goes straight to my cock.
“You’re going to come for the first time with me, you’re going to do it on my cock.”
“Ungh, hurry, Jude.”
Pulling her flush against my side, I turn on the shower and hike her up my torso. Frankie wraps her legs around my waist, and her plastic-wrapped cast anchors her around my shoulders. My mouth finds hers again as I wait for the water to warm.
She attacks me with an unexpected fervor. The heat of her cunt against my stomach warms the spot. She grinds against me, seeking relief for the ache between her thighs. She flexes her hips and slides higher in my hold.
My dick touches her slick lips, and I come undone. I shove back the curtain with a stifled roar. The plastic rings snap and fly around the room as the curtain and rod crash to the bathroom floor. Avoiding the mess, I step into the shower, pressing Frankie’s back against the tiles. Hot water cascades around us, a shocking contrast to the rain from an hour ago.
I find her hot center again, and she buries her face in my neck.
“Please,” she begs, flexing her ass to ride my fingers. “Please, I need you.”
Trading my fingers for my cock, I brace her against my chest, and in one slick thrust, I drive home.
For one split second, sparks of pure pleasure pulse beneath my skin.
And then…
Frankie’s entire body tenses. The falling water and her mouth against my neck muffle her cry of pain. The stifled whimper breaks through my senses, tearing at what’s left of my heart.
No.
Fuck.
“No, Frankie, baby, no.” An agonized snarl drips from my lips. My lungs forget how to work. “You were a virgin?”
She shivers and nods her head in my neck. Ragged breaths lift her back in my hold.
Droplets spray around us as I repeatedly slam my open fist against the wet tiles, the resounding smack loud above the shower.
”You should have told me,” I grit out, grinding my pelvis against her, letting her adjust to my size. ”I would have been gentle.”
Frankie pulls her face from me, looking at me head-on despite the fact we still can’t see through the thick darkness. Her wet fingertips stroke my stubbled cheek. ”I don”t want gentle. I just want you, Jude, just as you are. Your rough edges don”t scare me.”
“You deserve better than this,” I murmur hoarsely, dropping my forehead against hers. My shoulders heave with labored breaths.
“This is exactly how I wanted it. With you.” Perfect words drip from her lips before she presses them to mine again.
The agony of hurting her bleeds free, swirling down the drain with the rest of the filth we rinse away. My hips cant into her, picking up speed as she gasps and moans in my mouth.
“What about my mouth on your clit?” My thrusts punctuate my words. “Was that your first time for that too?”
“Yes.” She tilts her head back as I suck on her neck.
“And my fingers?”
“Only you, Jude.”
I ravage her skin, an animal unleashed with her confession. “There’s so much I could teach you.”
“I want you to,” she gasps as I slide in deeper, our hips kissing in the dark.
“You’re mine now.”
“Yes,” she hisses as my fingers slip between us to find her clit.
“You’re in my bed.”
“We can do that next.”
“No, baby. You’re in there every night, and I’m waking up next to you every morning.”
She whimpers as her pussy clenches on my cock.
“You like that,” I growl, fucking deeper into her. I feel feral, but I refuse to hurt her more than I already have.
“Mm-hmm.”
“Fuck. I fucking love that you like that.”
With my arm around her back, I glide her up and down on my cock. Her firm tits bounce against my chest, the hard nipples dragging over my skin. Without being able to see, every other sense comes to life. The feel of her in my arms, her warm, wet cunt wrapped around my cock, her heels digging into my ass. The way her staccato breaths blow across my neck. Her needy clit swollen beneath my fingers.
“Need you to come for me. Need to feel you grip my cock.”
I slow my pace, increasing the pressure with my fingertips. I circle around, and she grows wetter around me. Her breathing changes, then stops, before picking back up.
“There you go, Frankie. Let go for me.”
Her back tenses, and a surprised cry fractures the air. Her hips buck against mine as she breaks apart and rides herself through her orgasm.
I groan low in my throat as I feel her splinter in my arms. She slumps against my chest, cuddled tight and kissing her way up my throat.
Tilting my head back gives her access. “I gotta finish, baby. Can you stand?”
She shakes her head, her fingers tangling in my hair. “Finish in me.”
“Fuck, Frankie,” I groan, grabbing her chin between my fingers and pushing her head back. Her wet hair kisses the tile, and she shivers.
“Are you on birth control?”
She nods against my hand. “I have an IUD.” She yanks me back to her mouth. Her lips feather over mine with her words. “Come in me, Jude. I want you to.”
Despite being buried inside her, her words alone send blood rushing, and my cock grows impossibly harder. My thrusts speed up, fucking into her as hard as I dare. I’ve been given the gift of her virginity, and I’m not about to ruin it by being some selfish bastard. I’d cut my own dick off before I hurt her.
She leaves marks along my neck with her teeth as I grip her hips to drive her up and down my shaft.
Pleasure erupts from my balls, dragging me over the edge inside her. I come deep, throbbing against her slick walls.
My legs nearly give out, and I lower us to the floor, still twitching in her cunt. My beard rubs against her neck as I breathe her in.
“Are you sore?” I murmur there, verbally taking her pulse. Relying on my other senses to check her out in the dark.
Her shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath. “Just a little.” Her hips wiggle. “It feels good too though.”
I shiver at the pure want in her tone. “We should clean up so I can take care of you.”
She rocks on my lap. “Can we go again?”
A deep chuckle reverberates in my chest. I push the wet hair away from her face and lean back on one hand. My other grips her fleshy hip. Through the flashes of lightning and the open bathroom door, I can see her hooded eyes. She bites her lower lip as she grinds.
“You keep doing that, and I’m going to stay hard.”
She gasps as I brush my thumb over her clit. “Good.” With slow waves of her hips, she rides me leisurely. I’m a tool she’s using to chase her pleasure. “Is this okay?”
“Do what feels right to you, baby. Don’t worry about me.”
“I want to make you feel good too.”
“I feel good being inside you.”
“’Kay,” she breathes. I imagine her eyes growing wide as she slides against me, pushing me deeper in her tight, wet heat. Her breathing speeds up, as do her hips, as she figures out what feels good. Any lingering timidity falls away as she hits her stride, rising and falling in undulating waves in my lap.
“Oh,” she gasps, rocking hard against a particular spot. “Oh, oh, Jude,” she whimpers.
“Don’t you dare stop, baby. You’re going to make yourself come on my cock.”
“Jude, Jude, Jude,” she pants, tilting her hips against my thumb.
“That’s right. You say my name when I’m inside you,” I rasp.
“I think I’m gonna come.”
I hold still, not wanting to break her from her rhythm. A lot of guys hear those glorious words and just fuck everything up. If a woman on your cock says she’s about to come, you don’t change a goddamn thing.
Her body stiffens, her movements stilted a second before she detonates. “Jude!” she cries, bucking against me. Tightening her arms around my neck to hang on. I grip her hips, guiding her back and forth as her clenching pussy milks my cock.
“Fuck,” I erupt, pinpricks of light flash behind my eyelids as I spill myself inside her a second time.
She reaches between us, feeling the place where we connect. Her finger runs through the sticky mess we made. Goddamn, if she doesn’t stop exploring, I’m never going to have a soft dick again. Her curiosity might keep me in a state of perpetual hardness.
“That was fun,” she remarks breathlessly, a sassy smile in her tone.
Closing my eyes, I kiss her hard, needing the connection. I’ve come twice, and it doesn’t feel like enough, but we both need time to recover.
“Never before.” The words choke off in my throat.
“Sorry?”
“Never before has it felt like that.”
And I have a feeling it won’t ever again either.