Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Sophie
“Where are the marshmallows?” Adley whines like a toddler and Bennett tosses a bag out of the back slider. They hit the side of her chair and Lexi laughs.
“Thanks, babe.” She glances toward the back door.
He was inside watching some game while us girls are all sitting on his back deck with a bomb fire burning.
I’d gotten the invite about an hour ago and honestly all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and ignore the rest of the world. I hadn’t said a word about what took place earlier. Honestly I was embarrassed.
It all blew up just as I knew it would but I never thought it would be because I went to lunch with his mother.
Maybe I should have said something, but it was never about us.
The two things were completely separate, never once in my mind intermixing.
Patty is a sweetheart and after meeting her several weeks ago, I felt a connection with her.
She always puts everyone first, being the one that takes scraps.
I instantly saw my own way of thinking in her, and decided that the two of us needed some us time.
With her I didn’t feel like I was an odd man out.
“So the other night at the bar, you and Finn looked pretty cozy together,” Sutton says loud enough for everyone to hear and suddenly I am on display.
“He’s a really great actor,” I say while focusing on the drink I hold in my hand. Nothing about the last couple months sits well with me. I allowed myself to get a little too comfortable with the game Finn and I have been playing.
“No one on the outside would know it’s all a hoax,” I add as she lifts my hand and brings my drink to my lips. Taking a big gulp, I ignore the burn and refuse to make contact with any of the girls. Part of me wants to tell them all what happened today, but another part feels like such a fool.
So instead I continue on like I didn’t tell him earlier it was already over.
“But I’m thinking the game has been played well, and that it’s time to come to an end.
Ryan has moved on, I’ve felt what it’s like to date, or fake date, a decent guy.
So I’ve learned, he’s learned, we’ve all learned.
” I wave my hand already knowing I’m blowing this.
These women know me too well, there is no fooling them.
“Game over, Finn was right, blah blah blah…” My nostrils flare.
“Sophie?” Kendall leans in and places her hand into one of mine, offering a squeeze. “Babe, do we need to—”
“Nope.” I quickly regain control. “I’m good, he’s good, it’s all good. Finn one, Sophie zero.” I stand, set my drink on the table in front of me, and grab my keys. “I’m gonna head home.”
“You’ve only been here twenty minutes.” Lexi stands too and starts to round the fire pit.
Holding up my hand to stop her, she halts.
I can’t do this, because if I do I will break.
“If I’m being honest I shouldn’t have come in the first place.
I’m in a mood, and it’s not fair for me to drag the rest of you down.
Enjoy yourselves and we’ll talk tomorrow.
” I turn to leave and Kendall rushes after me.
Positioning herself in front of me I pause. “What the hell happened?”
“It’s nothing,” I tell her and she remains where she is. “Kendall I’m fine.” Again she only stares at me.
There is no way I am getting out of here without a confession.
“Finn got mad at me because he found out I’ve been spending time with his mother.
Immediately he accused me of only doing it as some kind of weird addition to the fake dating thing and I may have gone off on him.
What’s crazy is after everything with Ryan, after all the crazy things he put me through, not once while we were together did I stand up for myself.
But Finn, it just flew out of my mouth like nothing.
There I stood spewing very single thought in my mind without a second thought. ”
“Because Finn is not Ryan.”
“Don’t I know it.” I force a smile.
“What did Finn say?”
“Nothing, I mean he wanted to backpedal and talk but enough is enough.” I shrug. “I told him that I’m done with this stupid game I never should have started playing.”
“I think you should stay.” I shake my head and look down. “Sophie.”
After a few seconds I look up at her and notice the shift in her expression.
She feels sorry for me and it flips a switch in me.
“I am so tired of being the girl everyone pities. I’m tired of being the girl that can’t ever win.
I’m tired of being the girl that a guy thinks needs a fake boyfriend because I can’t get a real one.
Or at least a good real one. I’m just tired, Kendall. ”
She reaches out and pulls me in for a hug, and then I feel several others grab hold of me. I’m trapped in the middle of twelve arms as they all hold me close.
“We don’t pity you,” Kendall whispers. “We love you.”
They hold me, and for the first time in a long time, I cry.
I let go of all the frustration and anger.
I spent months with Ryan, always feeling like the homely girl he brought along to all his fancy dinners.
He’d play dress-up, putting me in these dresses I hated, and I’d sit at his side always feeling inadequate. Never felt like I fit in his world.
Now Finn, though the table turned, I did feel like I fit. Let myself love it even, but this time it was all fake.