18. Roman
CHAPTER 18
ROMAN
Mama and Margot met me at the door when I came into the house after starting the car. I needed to take Margot to school. The temperatures dropped below freezing last night, so Mama kneeled, helping Margot put her winter outerwear on.
“It’s Carson’s birthday,” Mama said nonchalantly.
Pausing, I blinked down at her, unsure of what to say.
Margot immediately broke into the Happy Birthday song, dancing around so much that Mama sat with Margot’s coat held out in front of her, waiting for Margot to settle down.
“Did you text him?”
I ignored her question. She should know I’d not texted the man. We’d had this conversation so many times over the last few months. I explained that the fraternization policy made it impossible for us to be too friendly.
“Let’s call him!”
“Punkin, he’s probably sleeping. It’s the middle of the night in Virginia.”
That’s if he wasn’t on some crazy mission getting his butt shot at. I didn’t say it because I didn’t want Margot to know the grizzly details of war at this young age.
“Text him a video like Nana did for you when you were in Ganistand,” Margot said.
“Afghanistan,” I corrected.
“That’s what I said. Ganistand.”
Sighing, I glanced at the clock on the wall in the entryway and said, “Time to go, punkin. Kiss Nana and grab your backpack.”
“Roman…”
I opened the door and said, “I’ll be home soon. Do you need me to stop anywhere while I’m out?”
She sighed. “No. I got everything already.”
I kissed her cheek before closing the door behind me. Margot was already rolling in the snow. She spent most of her life on the coast or the deep south while I completed my medical training, so she hadn’t experienced many snowy days like those we were having in Germany.
“Punkin, you’re gonna be late for school if you don’t get in the car.”
“Coming, Daddy.”
“Let’s get you dusted off, so you don’t flood the car when all that snow melts.”
She giggled as I pulled my toboggan off my head to dust her off. “Daddy, snow gets smaller when it melts.”
“You’re too smart for your own good, Margot Adrienne.”
“Why do you call me Dree ann?”
“Adrienne, and because it’s your middle name.”
“I know that, Daddy. Why did you and Nana name me Dree ann?”
Swallowing, I said, “In you go,” and helped her into her booster seat while avoiding her question.
I named Margot, and no one knew why I chose Adrienne for her middle name. Margot was Mama’s middle name, and when I told her what the baby’s full name was, she gushed and said it was pretty. Sasha hadn’t cared what I named the baby. I tried to engage her in choosing a name several times while she was pregnant, and again right after Margot was born, but she just said I could name her. That should’ve tipped me off to what was coming, but I was clueless. Tired, stressed, and completely oblivious.
So, I did.
And I named her after the only other person I cared about as much as I did Mama and Margot.
“I like the name Dree ann.”
I rubbed my forehead. She was like a dog with a bone. Once she got on a topic, getting her off it was nearly impossible.
“I like it too.”
“Is it someone else’s name, like Margot is Nana’s?”
“What are you doing in school today?”
“Silly Daddy. It’s a half day.”
Crap.
I had a shift at the hospital tonight and had worked last night, plus the previous four days. We were short a doctor, and all of us were scrambling to cover the shifts and hours. Before dropping a person from the staff, my CO offered me a day shift position, but that would mean Mama had to do all the running for Margot, and I wouldn’t be able to volunteer in her class. I leaned on Mama enough. I was Margot’s parent, and working nights meant I only missed about an hour of her nighttime routine. When she was out of school, I got to spend the whole day with her, minus the few hours I slept.
“I know it is, baby girl. I just wondered if y’all were doing Fun Friday this week?”
“Is the sky blue?”
“What?”
“Is the sky blue?”
I shook my head and answered, “Yes. Normally.”
“There’s your answer.”
I rolled my eyes. Who knew where she picked up that bit of sarcasm, but my brain was running on empty, and I just couldn’t keep up with her this morning.
For the rest of the drive, she sang Christmas carols, even though we were nearly two months past the holiday. As much as I was over the songs she’d been stuck on for the last three months, there wasn’t any more talk about why I named her “Dree ann,” at least. I refused to tell her she was named after Carson. She still talked about him being the white knight who rescued her and helped her fly.
When I got back to the house, I avoided my mother, disappearing upstairs to my room. I closed the door behind me and sagged against it, scrubbing my hands over my face.
I thought of Carson daily, without all the reminders from Mama and Margot. Their comments about it being his birthday hadn’t told me anything I didn’t already know. Carson’s birthday was etched in my memory. It had been there forever because I’d been to every birthday party he’d had from the moment we met until I went to college.
So, yes, Mama, I knew it was Carson’s birthday.
Problem was, even though I had his number now, I didn’t know if I should reach out to the man. We’d not spoken at all since he was here last summer, and nothing had changed between then and now. The line the DOD had drawn in the sand separated us. Officers and enlisted are separate and never the two should meet, which meant any kind of relationship was technically off the table, including friendship.
I stripped and headed to the shower, hoping it would settle me down so I could get some sleep. My dick had other ideas, but I ignored it. Jacking off to thoughts of Carson Wilcox when I didn’t know if he was gay or interested in me made me feel creepy. I’d done it more times than I could count. It still made me feel weird, so I tried to refrain.
I shut off the water and grabbed a towel. Drying myself on the way to bed, I dropped the towel on the chair I kept in the corner and crawled into bed naked.
Big mistake.
The texture of the sheets against my skin ramped up my already heated libido from a simmer to a slow boil. The blood in my veins hummed under my skin. I would’ve sworn I could feel each individual red blood cell. They all were in a hurry to join the rest of their buddies in my crotch.
My half-hard dick perked up with every heartbeat until it was pointing at the ceiling, tenting the blankets. Growling in frustration, I threw off the blankets, wrapped my hand around my dick and jerked it. I tried to keep from imagining Carson in bed with me, bent over for me, on his knees with his mouth open, begging me to fuck his face.
I tried. I really did.
I failed exponentially.
I pictured him in every position imaginable.
Facing me with his legs around my waist or over my shoulders.
On his belly with his ass in the air.
Riding me.
Sucking me.
I watched the imagined porn that played on the backs of my eyelids.
I fucked him. Hard and fast. Slow and steady.
Sucked his cock and ate his ass.
The erotic symphony I imagined only made me harder and needier until I blew my load all over the towel I snagged just before I came.
I wanted him all day. Every day. In every way there was. I wanted to come up with new ways to enjoy each other. I wanted to learn about him. What he liked and didn’t like, in bed and out, as well. I didn’t just want to fuck him. I wanted to love him and make a life with him. I always had.
Sighing, I tossed the towel to the floor and closed my eyes. I dozed off and on for a couple of hours, but I kept waking up. Every time I did so, I looked at my phone. I’d pull his contact info up, and my fingers would hover over the keyboard on the screen. I typed out several messages only to delete them before pressing send.
When my alarm went off, I got up, took another quick shower, and headed downstairs.
Mama was sitting in the living room with a book and a cup of coffee. She needed to cut back on the amount of caffeine she drank, but me issuing that lecture would’ve been hypocritical because I lived on the stuff.
Speaking of which, I headed to the kitchen and filled my travel mug. The shuffling sound told me I was being tailed. I turned and leaned back against the counter to wait her out.
“You going to wish him a Happy Birthday?”
“I don’t know. Why?”
“I just think you should.”
“Again, why?”
“Because he’s your friend. Your best friend, and you miss him.”
“It’s not…”
“Don’t give me that. Yes, there’s a fraternization issue, but you’re Army. He’s Navy, and you’re not in the same chain of command.”
“As a doctor, he could end up in my trauma unit, then there’s…”
“Dear Lord, Roman. Now you’re grasping at straws.”
“Fine. I’ll text him, but I’ve gotta get on the road so I can get Margot from school.”
I refilled my mug, bundled up, and headed out the door. I was early, but I used the time it took the car to warm up and finally sent him a text.
Roman
Sorry if this wakes you. The women in my life refused to let the day go by without telling you Happy Birthday. I hope you have a great day.
There. I sent him Mama and Margot’s birthday wishes. Tossing the phone down on the passenger seat, I blew into my icy hands. In my rush out the door, I forgot my gloves. There was no way I was going back in the house for them, though.
I put the car in reverse and let off the brakes. The car had barely moved when my phone dinged.
Carson
Hey!
Tell them thanks. I appreciate it.
Roman
You’re welcome. To be honest, I’m not even sure how they knew it was your birthday.
Carson
Mama probably posted something on Facebook.
Roman
That tracks. How are your parents? It might be a bit before I respond. I just got in the car. I’ve gotta get Margot from school.
I’d never neglected my girl, and I never would, but the urge to pull over and check the texts when the notifications came in was nearly strong enough for me to justify being late picking her up. When I pulled up to the school, the car hadn’t even finished bouncing from stopping and being put into park in a rush before I picked my phone back up.
Carson
How is Lady Margot?
As for my parents, they’re good.
Same with my brothers.
Trip’s got another kid on the way. He and Ashley announced it at Christmas.
Mama’s tickled pink since her wayward son made it home for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Not to mention another grandbaby on the way.
I laughed. His mom was a hoot. She had the sweetest demeanor until her husband or one of her sons did something she didn’t like. Then, a switch flipped, and the angel disappeared. She could put the fear of God and the Devil in someone all at once when she got going.
Roman
How many nieces and nephews do you have now?
Carson
This one will make 10 but there’s no nieces. Just nephews. Unless this new one is a girl.
Curt and Corey have 3 each, and this new one will make 4 for Trip.
Roman
Wow Ten grandkids and you, Craig, and Casey haven’t even gotten started.
Carson
Well, I don’t know about Craig and Casey, but kids aren’t in the cards for me.
Roman
You’ve got plenty of time. If a family is something you want, that is.
Carson
You gotta have a woman around for that to happen, and that’s not in the cards either.
Roman
Why’s that?