20. Roman
CHAPTER 20
ROMAN
“Daddy, why did we have to hang up? I like Carson.”
Sighing, I said, “I like Carson too, but it’s snowing, baby girl, and Daddy needs to focus on the road.”
“Oh! Daddy! Can we build a snowman?”
I rubbed my palm over my face. I was beyond tired and had to work tonight, but I worked the nights for precisely this reason. I wanted to be the one taking Margot to and from school.
“Let’s see what Nana says when we get home. She might have lunch ready when we get there.”
“I hope she made mato soup and cheesy sammies.”
I chuckled. Tomato soup and grilled cheese were one of Margot’s favorite meals. Anything with cheese really. She wasn’t a picky eater, but she definitely had her preferences and wasn’t shy about telling you what they were.
At home, Margot bounded out of the car, “tripping” in the snow on the way into the house.
“Margot, you can play after lunch,” Mama called out from the door.
She jumped up and said, “Sorry, Nana. I fell,” before running toward the house.
I couldn’t help but chuckle at her. She certainly had the “ask for forgiveness instead of permission” thing down pat.
I followed her into the house, where Mama was stripping off all Margot’s layers. I went for a couple of towels to dry the mess up. When I came back, Margot was telling Mama about our phone call.
“I wished Carson a happy birfday, Nana.”
“You did? When did you do that?”
“On the phone. Daddy called him.”
“He did, did he?” Mama asked with a smirk as she looked up at me.
“Yep. But Nana, Carson said big people don’t have birfday parties. I bet he don’t get no cake or presents or nuffin’.”
“Nothing, not nuffin’, Margot.”
“That’s what I said, Nana. Nuffin’.”
I coughed to cover the laugh I couldn’t contain and leaned down to dry up all the melting snow we’d tracked in.
“Punkin, go get washed up for lunch,” I told her.
“Yes, Daddy!”
She took off at a run, in her sock feet, sliding along the way.
“Margot!”
“Sorry, Daddy!” she yelled back, but thankfully, she slowed.
“So, you called him?”
“Yes. You were right. A call to wish a friend happy birthday wasn’t anything I should worry about.”
“Good,” she said, turning to walk away.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, following her toward the kitchen.
She turned, her hands landed on her hips, and her eyebrows arched up onto her forehead. “Just what I said. It’s good you called him, and I’m happy you admitted I’m right.”
“Don’t get used to that, Mama.”
“Honey, even if you don’t admit it, I’m nearly always right.”
She wasn’t wrong, but I’d eat my stethoscope before I ever admitted to it.
I kissed her forehead and asked, “If it’s okay, I’m going to take a nap. I’m exhausted. I’ll set an alarm so I can take Margot out to build a snowman before dinner.”
“Go, get some rest. I’ll take care of our girl.”
“Thanks, Mama.”
I climbed the stairs to my bedroom and set the alarm. I dropped to the side of the bed and plugged my phone in.
And stared at it.
He answered.
He actually answered my text.
I didn’t think he would.
I really didn’t.
Picking my phone up, I spun on the bed and rolled to my side to scroll back through the messages. Some of them made me chuckle, and some made me question. All of them filled me with warmth.
I wanted more.
More texts.
More calls.
More of him.
Just more.
My eyes drifted as I continued scrolling the messages, and I fought off the sleep I desperately needed.
Some time later, my phone went off, and my eyes popped open. I didn’t even remember falling asleep. Beating the bed, I looked at my phone when it wasn’t on the nightstand. I finally found it shoved under my pillows, unplugged, and half dead. The screen showed I still had half an hour before the alarm went off, but it also showed a notification from Carson.
Carson
Hey!
I’m not sure if I need to tell you this or not. Or if you’re even interested.
Anyway, I didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you.
We got spun up, and I don’t know any details, but I might not be reachable for a bit.
I didn’t know how to respond to that. On one hand, I was happy he told me, because with the brush off last summer, I probably would have thought he was ignoring me. But now I would worry about him.
The idea I could protect myself from his career by just being friends was idiotic. Even as his friend, the thought of him walking into a firefight scared me to death. I couldn’t be that person, though. As a soldier myself, I knew what a soldier’s friends and family needed to say and do. I never realized how hard being on this side of things was.
Roman
Thanks for the heads up. I appreciate it.
And I want us to be friends again.
I didn’t mention how much I wanted us to be more than that. That wasn’t something I could put out into the world over text.
Carson
No problem
Yeah. I did. Do.
Roman
I don’t know what changed between then and now or how this all works, so I’m not sure what to say. Just let me know you’re okay when you can.
Carson
Wilco.
And it’s pretty simple
Basically, when we get a target package, command sends an alert
My phone screams at me to report to base and I disappear for a bit
Sometimes I get advanced notice, but most of the time I don’t
Roman
That sounds chaotic
Carson
It is, but it’s the job I signed up for.
Roman
So this alert? It’s a loud version of the bat signal?
Carson
Yeah, I guess it is
Roman
So, you’re a real life superhero
Carson
No. Just an average guy doing his job.
Roman
Oh yeah. Navy SEALs are just a bunch of average Joes.
Carson
Shut it.
Roman
Carson
I just walked onto the plane, and we’re going wheels up here in a minute
I’ll text you when I can.
Roman
Okay. Be safe. I’ll badger you about what changed when you get back.
Well, I got what I asked for. More or less. I got more texts and a heads-up, which was probably more than he gave anyone else, but I didn’t get an explanation for the brush-off last summer.
Carson
I always am.
And the short of it.
I got the nod for OCS.
I report to Newport in January.
Roman
That’s awesome. Congrats.
That made sense. Enlisted to officer promotions put the service member under a lot of scrutiny. Any hint of impropriety could derail the process, and a fraternization charge would’ve definitely knocked him out of the running. I just wished he’d said something instead of doing things how he had.
Carson
We’re airborne, so it’s lights out for me.
Have a good shift.
Before I could respond further, my alarm went off. Sighing, I rolled to sit on the side of the mattress. I stared down at my phone. My face flushed with warmth at all the messages. I hadn’t talked with the mother of my child this much in a week when she and I were married and still sleeping together.
I didn’t want today to end. I could text nonsense back and forth with him for days. But he had an op, and I had a kiddo.
Roman
Yeah, I gotta get up. I promised Margot I’d help her build a snowman. Talk to you soon.
Carson
Send me a photo.
Roman
Will do.
I stood and walked to the closet and pulled out the uniform of the day and some warm, casual clothes I could wear under my winter gear. After playing with Margo, I’d have to head to work, and I didn’t expect us to be outside for long. We’d still need to bundle up as the temperature had dropped below freezing last night and stayed there all day. Luckily, I’d bought us all skiwear for Christmas. In addition to a few material items, I gifted Margot with experiences. I wanted to immerse her in the world as much as possible not just spoil her with possessions.
Growing up, my family had been extremely well off. My dad was the town doctor, but unbeknownst to me and Mama, he’d had a horrible gambling problem, which included an addiction to cocaine and prostitutes. The revelation devastated Mama and me. The police arrested my dad and several other men. That had been enough, but one girl my father was arrested with was underage. It was mortifying, and I wanted to bury my head in the sand.
The media plastered his face all over its outlets. Every time things quieted down, investigators uncovered new evidence, or another girl came forward, and the cameras returned. We couldn’t walk down the street without them being shoved in our faces along with their microphones. It was humiliating.
It went on for weeks, and I didn’t think it could get much worse. But I was wrong.
After court one day, his attorney spoke with him privately, and then we all returned home. And yes, Mama and I had to go with him because it made him seem more likable or some nonsense. Once inside the house, we dropped all pretense and went our separate ways. I climbed the stairs to my room, Mama wandered off to the kitchen, and my father, who until his arrest had been my hero, went into his study. He shut the door behind himself and locked the door.
I heard the lock turn as I walked past the door and up the stairs. I’d not gotten very far when the silence of the house was shattered, pierced by the boom of a gunshot.
He’d committed suicide.
My hero turned out to be a coward, and the fancy house and all the trips, gifts, and designer clothes went away. Mama and I moved into a smaller house, and she went back to work. She had been a nurse when she met my dad. Her salary, along with the money she got when her parents passed away several years before, kept us afloat.
I’d been in middle school when everything fell apart. My whole life upended. My dad was dead, Mama and I lost everything, and then we had to move. That was when I met Carson and his brothers.
“Yellowbellied coward!”
Two hands landed between my shoulder blades, shoving me forward. I stumbled, tripping over my feet. Books and papers flew as I belly-flopped on the concrete floor and skidded down the hallway.
Rolling onto my back, I stared up at the face of my tormentor. The same boy and his entourage had harassed me every day since I walked into middle school.
“Your daddy was a coward. He took the easy way out. You’re probably just as perverted. You should do the world a favor and off yourself, too.”
I shook, petrified he and his cronies would do more than shove me down. I crab-walked backward over the mess of my books, binders, and scattered papers. As much as I hated to show him he was getting to me, I couldn’t help the tears that welled in my eyes.
“Mikey James, you’re a bully.”
“Will you look at that, boys? It’s little Carson Wilcox. How’d you get away from your protectors?”
I glanced around the asshole who’d turned his back to me to pick on the newcomer. The kid was on the small side, so either he was one of those really smart kids and too young to walk the halls without a chaperone, or he was just unlucky enough to be a shrimp.
The kid crossed his arms over his chest and smirked at Mikey James. He didn’t seem the least bit fazed because Mikey towered over him and had two buddies with him who were just as big.
“My older brothers aren’t my protectors. Well, I guess they are, but I don’t need them to be. We just really like hanging out with each other, and that means when I get picked on by cocksuckers like you, they take up for me. They also like to fight, so it gives them the excuse.”
Mikey scoffed, but the kid, Carson, didn’t pay him no mind. He shoved his way through the three boys and held his hand out to me. I looked at it, then up at his face before taking the help up. Hopefully, the kid could hold my weight because, while he looked like a stiff wind would blow him over, I was big and solid enough to withstand a cyclone.
“Thanks,” I muttered before stooping to gather up the mess that cretin Mikey had made of my stuff.
“Carson!”
I looked up, and three boys, two of whom had to be twins, came toward us. All three of them looked enough like Carson so I knew these had to be the protective older brothers mentioned. They definitely weren’t suffering from the shrimpy gene like their little brother. They were as broad as a barn—all three of them. They were tall, but none of them were as tall as I was.
“What’s going on here?” The non-twin asked.
“Mikey James is being his usual assholish self.”
The three older brothers turned on Mikey and his cronies, placing themselves between Mikey and Carson, who were standing in front of me. They were scary, with their broad shoulders pulled back, arms hanging at their sides, and hands curled into loose fists. They stood with legs apart as if ready for a fight.
“What’s going on here?”
I groaned at the sound of a teacher coming up on us. I was new here. I’d gone to a private school until my life got dropped in the crapper, and this wasn’t the impression I wanted to make before the first full week of school was even half over.
“Wilcox?”
“Sir?” came four replies, so synced up they sounded like one voice.
“What’s going on?”
“Well, Coach, Mikey is pulling his crap again.”
The coach hummed under his breath and looked at me before asking, “You good?”
I nodded, but Carson said, “Coach, they shoved him to the ground from behind, and this mess is all his school papers. This isn’t the first time I’ve caught Mikey and the others being mean to the guy. I was just too late to do anything about it last time.”
I felt mortified. How had I become the patsy for some bully?
Oh right. My dad was a gambling pedophile who offed himself.
“You four get to class but expect a conversation with Mr. Lester before you leave today.”
Mikey and his cronies headed off, and the coach turned back to me once they disappeared around the corner.
“What’s your name, kid?”
“Roman Ott, sir.”
“You’re a big kid. You play ball?”
“Basketball and baseball, sir,” I replied.
“But not football?”
“I wanted to, but my last school wasn’t big enough to have a football team.”
He hummed under his breath and scratched his chin before smoothing down the beard covering the lower portion of his face.
“What school?”
“Whitehall Academy, sir.”
“I know those coaches. Went to Marshall with the baseball coach.”
“I enjoyed playing for him, sir.”
He nodded, still staring at me.
“Carson, you and your brothers help him get this mess sorted out and then drag him down to the field house for practice. As long as your mother will be okay with it.”
“You can call her, sir, if you’d like. She works at the hospital in the ER.”
“Y’all get this picked up and get to class. If your teachers get after you, tell ‘em you were helping me.”
A chorus of “Yes, sirs” filled the hall, and he left the five of us standing there staring after him.
Turning toward the others, I said, “Thanks. I appreciate it.”
Carson held out his hand. “Carson Wilcox. That’s Craig, and the twins are Corey and Casey.”
The twins waved as he said their names, which was a good thing because, if they hadn’t, I’d never have known who was who. There were two sets of twins at my last school, but unlike Corey and Casey, the others, while identical, had dissimilarities. Corey and Casey were so identical that it was like having double vision.
Craig bent down and started picking up my stuff.
“Let’s get this shit picked up. No matter what Coach says, Mrs. Maynard will have my ass when I stroll into class late.”
That day lived in my memory as the day Carson Wilcox changed my life.
Mikey James and his peons never messed with me again. I became one of the Wilcox boys, even though my last name was Ott. Carson and his brothers sort of adopted me. I played football, basketball, and baseball with them that year and every year after. Where one of us was, the rest were always close behind.
Unlike his brothers, Carson became my secret crush. And nothing had changed. The torch he lit all those years ago burned as brightly now as it did then. Back then, I didn’t think anything would come of it. He was a straight guy, and I was the guy who fell for his straight best friend. It’s why I didn’t stay in contact with him once I left for college. But now, after today, some comments he made with the hope I had for more seemed closer to reality than fantasy.