Chapter 38
THIRTY-EIGHT
Dane
I’ve been obsessively checking my phone to see if she texted me back.
It doesn’t indicate ‘read’, so she hasn’t even seen it, or she’s ignoring it.
Maybe I’ll surprise her and stop at the salon with an iced coffee since I didn’t see her this morning.
She’s usually swamped during the day; it’s not unusual not to hear from her until she has a break between clients.
It’s concerning that she hasn’t texted me back. Off to the coffeehouse to buy her favorite summer coffee, an iced mocha, and swing by to bring it to her. My chest is tight thinking that there’s a reason she isn’t responding.
I park at the front and walk into the salon. My eyes scan for fiery red hair. When I don’t see her, I walk up to Sally.
“Afternoon, Sally. Is Kendall here?”
She scowls at me, which is odd. Usually, she is overly excited to see and talk to me, but not today. Instead, she is abrupt. “She left.”
“Left?” I ask, genuinely concerned.
Sally gives a slight nod. “Yeah. She wasn’t feeling well—headache.”
My heart pounds in my chest, caught between worry and frustration. Why couldn’t she just text me and tell me she wasn’t feeling well? I would have dropped everything to be with her.
“Is she okay?”
“She didn’t say much.” Her voice is clipped. “Just said she needed to go home.”
That’s out of character for her. I glance toward the spa hallway, half expecting her to appear, roll her eyes, and tell me I’m overreacting.
I look back at Sally. She’s reorganizing pens, avoiding eye contact.
“Did something happen?” I ask.
“No,” she says too fast, not convincing me. “Not that I know of.”
Bullshit.
But I nod anyway and back away from the desk. “Alright. Tell her I stopped by?”
Sally gives me a tight smile. “Of course.”
I walk out with the coffee still in my hand, completely untouched, its condensation dripping. And suddenly, I don’t feel so sure about anything, and I start questioning everything.
Sliding back into the driver's seat, I put the coffee in the cup holder. Sighing. I massage the back of my neck, and there’s something wrong; I need answers.
Dane:
Hey, stopped by the salon. Missed you. Hope you’re okay. Call me.
I wait for a good ten minutes before deciding to call Joel. I need to figure this out.
“Joel, hey, where’s Kendall?” I drum the steering wheel, losing patience.
“You sound agitated. She’s home, and her friends are all here.”
I lean my head back on the headrest. “I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on. Do you know anything?”
“Man, nothing out of the ordinary over here.”
I let out a breath, thinking I’m so far out of the loop, my heart can’t take the possibility she is purposefully not responding to me—ignoring me. And my heart drops into my stomach.
My mind is telling me to drive over there and demand that she tell me what is going on.
But I refrain as panic washes over me. I’m confused and worried.
She’s never ignored my texts, and I don’t want to call after already having sent her a text.
If she really has a headache, then she could be sleeping. But why are all of her friends there?
Wound up tightly, I decide to drive home.
The garage door closes behind me as I sit in my car.
I slam my hands on the steering wheel. Fuck!
Needing to burn off the anger coursing through my veins, I walk straight into the house and down to my workout room.
No matter where I go, I can’t run away from the thoughts of her.
Even when I’m working out, she’s a vision everywhere I look. She’s perfect for me. I just need to talk to her. If she doesn’t text me back soon, I’ll try calling. I know something isn’t right.
I push myself hard, increasing my weights, trying to focus on anything but her. It’s useless because she’s taken over my heart, living rent-free. I’m invested in her—in us.
Taking a seat on the bench with my elbows on my knees, my face lands in my hands for however long it took me to realize I can’t live without her. She’s the one. Whatever is going on, I’m finding out what it is, no matter what.
I grab my phone from the table. Still nothing from her. Staring at the screen, I will her to text me back, but nothing happens. My heart is aching in my chest. Defeat rolls through me, my shoulders slump, and an exaggerated sigh leaves my mouth.
After taking a cool shower, I’m ready to drive over to her house and see her. Confront her. Why hasn’t she texted me back? Why did Sally seem upset with me?
Then, my phone buzzes.
Kendall:
I’m home. Can we talk?
The words I’ve been waiting for, but dread spreads through me.
Dane:
Yes. Where?
Kendall:
If you don’t mind meeting me at my house.
Dane:
On my way.
Kendall:
Doors open, I’m in the back.
My heart rate spikes, and my palms sweat.
I need to wipe them on my pants. I can’t shake off the dread; it’s there, haunting me.
What could be wrong? I can’t wrap my head around what’s going on, and it’s making me feel unsteady.
My foot presses on the gas pedal like I’m a NASCAR racer.
I need to be next to her, feel her body, her heart…
our undeniable connection with sparks flying.
I want all of that every day. But why do I feel like it’s all slipping away from me at the moment?
When I pull into her driveway, there are no other cars. Her friends must have left. It’s just her and me.
I’m wrapping my arms around her the minute I see her.
Bounding up the steps and through the front door, I stalk straight out the back.
And that’s when I see her sitting in her lounge chair, tucked into a ball with her arms holding her legs tightly, head down.
As she lifts her head to meet my eyes, my heart shatters into a million pieces to see her red-rimmed eyes, mascara streaking her cheeks, and hair in disarray.
The breath is knocked out of my chest. She isn’t moving, isn’t speaking; she’s just staring into me.
I want to rush over to her and tell her everything will be okay, but I don’t even know what is wrong. My steps are slow and calculated, like I’m walking up to an animal that will run away if my movements are too quick.
Lowering my body to the chair, I rest my hand on her forearm and whisper, “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
Her eyes are dull and full of tears that break free and flow down her cheeks. I hold her face and wipe her tears with the pad of my thumb, but they keep coming. Seeing her broken is cracking something inside of me. All I want to do is fix whatever is wrong.
She wipes her face, and her voice is wavering. “I had a visitor today.”
I’ve taken care of Jake, but what the hell—maybe he has someone on the outside. What the fuck?
Keeping my voice low, I say, “Who?”
Sobs rip through her body. Barely getting out the words, “Your father.”
I shake my head in disbelief; my dad went to visit her? He doesn't even know about Kendall. With my eyes wide and eyebrows reaching my hairline, I can’t comprehend what she just said.
“My dad? I’m so confused. Why would he visit you? He doesn't…” The memory comes flooding back. When I confessed everything to Logan… was he listening in on our conversation?
She leans over and picks up a stack of papers. It feels like she is moving in slow motion as she shoves the papers into my hand. A piece of paper falls to the ground. I crouch over and pick it up. My eyes locked on a check made out to Kendall with my dad’s signature. It has a lot of zeros.
“What the fuck is this?” My body is humming with anger. Why am I holding this check?
“Your father came by, threatened me, and handed that check to me, saying it would be easier if I just walked away from you.” Her chin now rests on her forearms as she holds back the sobs building in her body, trembling.
“Shit. I didn’t know.” It’s all that comes out of my mouth, as I’m wracking my brain why he would do this. “Walk away from me? Wait, are you considering this?”
She stares out at the pool, avoiding eye contact with me. It makes my heart skip a beat. She can’t seriously think this is a good idea.
“Am I the right person for you? Maybe you’d be better off without all the baggage dragging behind me, tarnishing your family name. It’s a lot.”
“Kendall.” I take her chin in my fingers and guide her back to look at me.
“You have quickly become the light of my life. I didn’t even know I was missing before I met you.
Your baggage is my baggage. Please don’t let him get into your head like this.
He thinks he knows what’s best for me. But I’m the only one who knows you’re it for me. ”
She closes her eyes like she wants to be as far away as possible; instead, she’s having this conversation. Slowly opening her eyes, she says, “What if one day you wake up and I’m not what you want anymore? You’re changing your whole life for me—me.”
I slide my arms around her, but she shrugs me off, ever so slightly.
All I want to do is comfort her. “It’s not possible not to want you; you are exactly what I want and need in my life.
I won’t be able to breathe if you aren’t in my life.
I’ve never known anything, ever, like I know you belong with me—you’re mine. ”
“Dane…” She gazes at me with compassion mixed with confusion. “He dropped the seeds of doubt and watered them. My thoughts have been reeling ever since. He said people are talking and saying I’m using you to get permits. Which I never asked you to do.”
I interrupt her. “You didn’t, but that wasn’t you using me. I did that because you deserved those permits. They weren’t playing fair.”
“But your dad said people are whispering…”
“Kendall let them whisper. You’re more to me than the gossip around town.” She lets me hold her forearm without pulling away.
“I know it shouldn’t matter, but it was the threats to my reputation, my business, and then trying to pay me off.
He absolutely doesn’t want me in your life…
I just needed to talk to you and tell you what happened.
But now, I need time and some space to figure out what I want.
This relationship has been on fast forward since we met. ”
“Yes, we’ve moved faster than a lightning bolt, but I wouldn’t change any of it. Let me be here with you. The last thing I want is to be away from you.”
She slides off her chair and stands. “I need some space to think and process all of this. At the end of the day, I want to know that I chose myself over all of this. Over every doubt. Over what your father thinks of me. He really doesn’t want me in your life.
He made me question everything about us.
Why would I want to even subject myself to any of this? ”
“Because we are meant to be together.” I hear more cracking in my chest as my heart splits open.
Her head down-turned, she says, “Maybe that’s true, but is it worth risking? Hell, one day maybe I’ll wake up and realize I don’t want to be second to your firm.”
“No, nope. That’s him planting doubt in your mind.
Please don’t let him infiltrate what we have.
I’ve prioritized our time together as much as I can.
You’ve been understanding at every turn.
What happened with Maggie destroyed me. And with you, I’m willing to risk it all. Risk it all with me—for us.”
More tears fall down her face as she glances at me for a split second, love in her eyes. I want to tell her I love her, but it’s not the time. And I feel a tear slide down my cheek. Without wiping it away, I listen.
“I’ve been fighting not to fall for you, and when I finally let my guard down, I feel like someone else is making decisions for me.
Does that sound familiar? Your dad is paying me off to make the decision he wants for you.
You may not think you are like him, but you’ve made choices for me too.
Right now, I’m choosing to find my center and choose myself.
I need to know, without a shadow of a doubt, what I want, without someone else dictating it for me.
Please give me the time and space I’m asking for. ”
I massage the back of my neck as tension builds in my shoulders and chest. “I’ll give you whatever you want. If you need time? Done. Just know I want to hold you in my arms and tell you how much you mean to me. You’ve quickly become my everything. Don’t completely push me away, or shut me out.”
The flicker of realization in her eyes leaves hope lingering in the air.
She turns on her heel and walks to her door. “Thank you, Dane.”
And she leaves me there sitting on her chair, determined not to give up on her—on us.