15. Chapter 15
15
Chapter 15
Violet
“So what did you do while I was gone?” Calum asked as I lay in his arms. He returned two days after the incident at the bar and woke me up in the middle of the night. Apparently, that was the first chance he was able to get away from Nathara.
“I stayed in my room most of the time.” Which was true. The next morning after the night at the bar—when I thought more about what happened and what I felt—I refused to leave my room. I didn’t want to take the chance of running into Sebastian and allowing any feelings to come back up.
I shouldn’t have let myself be in a position like that in the first place. I shouldn’t have drunk so much and let my guard down. Sebastian just did something to me that I couldn’t explain, but I knew it was wrong. I loved Calum. I wanted to spend eternity with him, and I couldn’t let a moment of weakness and bad judgment do anything to jeopardize that.
I’d spent the last two days reminding myself how evil Sebastian was, picturing him standing there with that fae’s heart in his hand. He could’ve just made the fae leave. He was his Sovereign, and he would’ve listened to him.
But that fae was going to hurt me. He was going to do the unthinkable. Anyone who could do something like that deserved to die.
So no matter how hard I tried to make myself believe that Sebastian was evil, I ended up contradicting myself. Because he saved me.
Yara had come by both nights asking to escort me to dinner. I guess Bronwen didn’t hesitate to plan dinners as soon as she got the OK from Sebastian, but I told her that I wasn’t feeling well both times and asked her to bring food to my room.
I was surprised Bronwen didn’t try to make me attend the dinners, but she must’ve been trying to give me some space. She was silent the entire carriage ride from the bar, which I think must have been the first time in her life. I didn’t know if it was because of what Sebastian did or if something else was bothering her.
“Most of the time? So what else did you do?” Calum asked.
“Bronwen took me to a bar in the city,” I said nonchalantly. Maybe if I acted like it wasn’t a big deal, he wouldn’t ask any more questions. I couldn’t tell him everything that happened.
“A bar? Please tell me Adar went also.” I could hear the concern in his voice.
“He did.”
“Thank the gods.” I knew the relief in his voice wasn’t going to last long.
“Sebastian was there too,” I said quietly. I didn’t want to chance him finding out from someone else. That would be worse than him hearing it from me.
“Sebastian?” I could feel his head move to where he was looking down at me, but I didn’t want to look at him.
I nodded.
“I don’t want you around him,” he said.
“I don’t want to be around him either. I didn’t know he would be there,” I mumbled.
“He’s evil, Violet.”
Was he though? If he was so evil, why would he kill someone that was trying to hurt me? Someone truly evil would allow something like that to happen.
See, all I did was contradict myself.
“I know.”
I hated this. I hated keeping things from him. But what I’d done and how I’d felt was wrong. He didn’t deserve this.
“I know you say you know, but I don’t think you realize how evil he really is. Nathara has told me some things that have happened over the years.”
I pushed myself off of him and sat up to look at him. Did he really just bring Nathara into this conversation? “Oh, Nathara told you some things, did she?”
“I am with her constantly. What did you think we did? Sit and stare at each other?” He looked at me like he thought I was being ridiculous.
“Well, I have tried to not picture you two together, but now I am. Just sitting around, talking about your lives, finding things that you have in common. How nice,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Violet, it’s just talking. It’s not like I’m fucking her.”
“What did you tell her you like to do in your free time? Because the only hobby I know of you having is fucking your Commander’s daughter.”
His eyes widened at that, even though he knew it was the truth. “Violet.”
I was fuming, and I didn’t even know why. I knew him having to fake a relationship with her would entail talking, of course. It wasn’t like he shouldn’t be talking to her, but for him to bring her into our conversation because of “some things” she had said about Sebastian—like we should take everything she said as the truth—just ticked me off.
“I would prefer if you never bring up anything the two of you have talked about—or done—again,” I said through gritted teeth.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. I just worry about you, and I can’t protect you here,” he said as he pulled me back to lay with him.
I didn’t say anything. I understood his worry, but I couldn’t very well tell him how safe I felt here.
We lay in silence for a while before I finally looked up to see he had fallen asleep. Obviously our conversation didn’t bother him as much as it bothered me since he had no trouble going to sleep. I rolled over to the edge of the bed to kick my leg out from under the covers. Calum and I both ran hot while we slept, and I always ended up drenched in sweat before the night was over.
A cool breeze from the balcony door that I had left open hit my leg, bringing instant relief from the heater that was only a few inches away from me now.
I stared out of the opening at the night sky that was lit with more stars than I could count.
The Night Realm had done nothing but surprise me since the moment I arrived. I expected creatures of the night around every corner. The servants in the castle should be creatures that send chills down my spine, but other than Yara, they were all fae, which made no sense in itself. Nothing in my history books mentioned fae servants here. Sebastian did mention “Mountain Realm history books” with a negative undertone.
If they got things like this wrong, what other lies were written in our books, forcing us to believe them true?
I rolled back over to look at Calum, but as soon as my eyes were back on him, all I could picture was him at the dinner table with Nathara hanging all over him. If she did that around others, what does she do when they were alone?
I gritted my teeth as my imagination ran wild. I had to stop sulking and dwelling on this. I had to keep my trust in Calum because I knew he wouldn’t hurt me.
Morning came too early after I spent most of the night consumed in my thoughts. I didn’t know what time Calum left because he didn’t wake me to tell me goodbye. I wasn’t mad though. I didn’t get enough sleep as it was. My heart felt a little lighter when I rolled out of bed. A step towards peace maybe. Peace about my situation.
I gave it until dinner tonight. As soon as I saw them together again that peace would fly out of the window.
My stomach growled, reminding me that I barely ate the dinner Yara brought me last night. It was a dish that I wasn’t familiar with, a type of red meat, with a grayish sauce served over rice. Yara signed that it was “heart of traitor,” at least that’s what I think she signed. But I’m not completely fluent in sign language so I was hoping I was wrong.
But even the thought of it made me lose my appetite. The only thing I ate was the side of vegetables that was in a separate bowl far away from the traitor’s heart.
I thought about ringing the bell and asking Yara to bring me breakfast, but I felt a little guilty having her run—well, fly—around bringing me food again when I was perfectly capable of getting it myself.
I was better than this constant hiding in my room afraid of simple conversations with others. I used to dream about being outside of our castle, and yet here I was completely free to go where I chose, and I’d chosen to lock myself in my room.
I quickly threw a dress on and loosely tied my hair back with a ribbon before slipping into my shoes. I slung open my door but before I couldn’t take a step out into the hall, Yara was standing there with a tray of food and another book.
Okay, one more day in my room wouldn’t hurt.