34. Chapter 34
34
Chapter 34
Violet
I wasn’t sure how many days had passed as I stayed locked in my room, allowing myself to sink into a deep depression. I had just finally forced myself out of my room and yet here I was back in it.
Yara brought me food, which I barely ate, and Bronwen tried to come in every day, but I refused to even open the door for her. I knew she would push for me to come out, push for me to go to Sebastian as I had no doubt in my mind that she already knew everything that had happened. I also knew myself well enough to know that if I let her in, I would eventually give in to her persuasion.
But I couldn’t. I didn’t deserve to see him. I didn’t deserve to be happy.
My father came by once, but only stayed long enough to make sure I was still taking my pills like I was supposed to.
I sat in my room, staring at my clock with a pill in my hand, waiting for nine o’clock. The time had come but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t find a reason to take my medicine.
I had nothing to lose anymore. My entire world had crumbled and all I had left was Sebastian and the trust I had in him.
He was so adamant that I didn’t have a heart condition. He had spent so much time researching and trying to prove to me that my pills were for something else. He spent the time that he should have used trying to figure out what was draining his powers.
I placed the pill back in the bottle on my nightstand and sat up against my headboard.
I stared at the clock as I watched the minutes go by.
9:01, 9:02, 9:03.
The longest I’d pushed past 9 without taking a pill was 9:15—the night I met Sebastian. That night, the only thing that happened was I got hot and sweaty, so I knew I had to wait a while if I was going to see this through.
When I was a faeling, my father would handle my medicine. I refused to swallow pills so he would crush it up and mix it into something sweet that he knew I couldn’t resist.
Even well after I was old enough to be responsible for taking my medicine, he would be with me every night at nine o’clock sharp. I didn’t mind it, though. I cherished those few minutes that I got to spend with him every night. It was the only time he wasn’t working, and his focus was completely on me.
It wasn’t until after he learned of my relationship with Calum that he stopped overseeing me taking the pill every night. I guess he passed that responsibility on to Calum even though I was perfectly capable of reminding myself.
Well, it wasn’t something I ever needed reminding to do. It had always been a part of my routine, and I did it without even thinking about it.
But now . . . now, fuck it .
I lay on my bed, covered in sweat. My heart was racing. The last time I looked at the clock it said 9:47, but I couldn’t move to check again.
Every bone in my body felt like it was on fire and every time I tried to move, it felt like I was being stabbed over and over again. I pushed through it and reached as far as I could on my nightstand to try to get the bottle in my hand. I needed to take a pill. This little experiment was going to kill me.
My fingertips touched the bottle but as I tried to grab it, it fell to the floor. I needed help. I needed him .
“S-s . . .” I tried so hard to say his name, but I couldn’t catch my breath.
He was my only hope. The only one that could possibly hear my cry for help. That was, if I could even get a word out.
My vision started to blur, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before my body gave in to the pain.
“S-Bash,” was all I could say before the world went black.