16. Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Sixteen
Ash
A sh was definitely surprised to wake up and hear the mower going and realize it was coming from her yard.
She thinks she remembers the whole previous night.
Making a fool of herself in front of Sam and the other guys from the firehouse in order to try to make Raif jealous, not her finest hour.
She doesn’t know if she should say anything to him.
When she’d gone outside and seen him mowing her lawn bright and early, her chest squeezed a little.
He’s always so fucking kind. Always doing the right thing.
Driving her home, making her food, tucking her in.
She remembers the surprised look on his face when she told him she and Sam are just friends.
He almost looked relieved. Like maybe he’s interested in her.
Like maybe he wants more. But she pushes those thoughts away.
She invites him in, gets started on breakfast, it’s the least she can do after he’s driven her car home from the bar and mowed her lawn.
He’s quiet, sips the coffee she hands him as she moves around the kitchen. Cracking eggs and putting bread in the toaster. Her kitchen isn’t stocked full of food. There are staples, but she rarely has anyone over and isn’t the best at feeding herself when she’s off from work.
“Anything I can help with?”
“No thanks, just relax. Food will be done soon.”
She doesn’t want to meet his eyes and doesn't want to look at him. Doesn’t want to see him looking at her.
She’s in ratty cutoffs and a tank top with no bra.
Not wearing a bra is definitely an oversight, but when she’d gone out on her porch, it was to see what the noise was in her yard, not to invite Raif in for breakfast. He doesn’t seem to be staring, though.
Her nipples aren’t really that hard that she can see when she peers down at herself. Hopefully, he doesn’t notice.
She sets down two plates filled with eggs and toast. It’s not much, but it’s hangover food, and she definitely has a hangover.
“What else can I do here today, to help you?”
“Nothing, Raif. It’s...I’m good. I’m just going to putter around the house, maybe do some laundry.”
He looks like he wants to say more, but doesn’t, and she’s thankful for that.
She knows that he knows there’s a lot of work to be done on the house.
She knows he would help her in any way he could, whether it was climbing up on top of the house to work on the old roof or chopping down the dead tree on the side of the house.
He’d do whatever she asked, and that scares her a little.
James was the last person to treat her that way.
Even Sam has his limits of what he’s willing to do to help her out, and he’s her best friend.
“Well, I should get going then. Thank you for breakfast, ma’am. It was great.” He shoots her one of his small smiles and stands to clear his plate.
“How are you going to get home? Is your truck here?”
“No. I ugh...had my brother drop me off at the bar. I’ll walk back there now, and he’ll come pick me up in a while.”
“I can take you home, that is.”
“I don’t want to trouble you, it’s a long drive.”
“It’s no problem, really. You’ve done a lot to help me out, Raif. It’s the least I can do.”
He nods and tells her thanks, but stands for a moment looking at the kitchen floor. She moves around him, washing off her plate and finishing off her coffee.
“There’s horses at the lodge. Would you be up for a horseback ride with me?”
He looks so earnest in his request. Big eyes on her, he wants her to say yes, she can see that clearly.
“I ugh, I don’t know. I...I used to ride a lot with James. After, it was more for work around the farm. But it’s been a couple of years. I’m not sure-”
“I understand.” His face is soft and warm, not frustrated or angry at the fact that she can’t let her dead boyfriend go. That she can’t move on, hasn’t moved on.
She changes into jeans, a t-shirt, and a flannel. She tells herself she’ll just look at the horses, get a feel for them. See if she would even fit with them, if they would even be good for trail rides.
She’s kidding herself, she knows she is.
When they get back to the lodge after a quiet but comfortable car ride, she gets out in the parking lot, looking around.
The lodge is beautiful, big, and old. Huge logs make up the lodge structure.
There are big windows and a large front porch with rocking chairs.
It looks lovely. It’s homey and beautiful and seems like it would be wonderful to live there.
“You want a tour?” Raif asks her, standing by the passenger door, looking across the car roof at her.
She nods her head yes. She does want a tour, she wants to see the rooms. Wants to see where Raif grew up. Wants to know what he does every day that he’s not at the fire station or with her.
He shows her. First, the large entrance that seems almost magical with the way the light comes through the glass onto the hardwood floors.
There’s a large room for guests to sit and relax in.
Couches, tables, chairs, and a humongous wood-burning fireplace.
She can picture Raif cutting the wood for the fire. Big arms swinging the ax.
There’s the dining room, which has space for at least sixty people. Three floors and thirty-two rooms make up the expansive lodge. Raif tells her there are four more cabins on the property for guests to rent.
“So which one is your room?” She’s trying to be subtle. She wants to see his space, his things. That’s what friends do, right? It’s only fair, he’s been in her house multiple times now.
“I have my own cabin. It’s a ways out from here, gives me some privacy away from the guests.”
She nods in understanding, hands shoved in the pockets of her jeans, looking around at the expansive space around her.
“Do you want to see it?”
Ash looks at him, she can feel her eyes are wide, and she swallows hard. Seeing his house feels like a big thing, like a big step. Raif is a private guy, closed off, or so he seems upon first meeting him.
“Yes, yeah. That’d be nice.”
He leads her back outside and away from the main lodge.
She thinks they’re on the path to his cabin when she sees stables up ahead.
Her heart beats a little faster. It’s clear where they’re going when Raif shoots her a tentative glance.
She smiles a little at him to let him know it’s okay, that she’s okay.
The horses are beautiful. Very friendly and obviously used to being around lots of people. Raif gives her a couple of sugar cubes and shows her his horse.
“This here is Roscoe.” The horse is a white palomino, just like James’ horse.
Her throat closes up. She reaches out, pets the horse on the side of the face, ears, and down its neck.
It huffs into her arm, and she laughs lightly.
She doesn’t realize she’s crying till she feels Raif’s hand on her shoulder.
“We can go if it’s too much.”
She shakes her head no and gives Roscoe the two sugar cubes.
“Can we take him out? I know I said no before, but-”
“Of course.”
She turns back to the horse, petting it with one hand and wiping her face with the other. Ash helps Raif get Roscoe and another horse saddled. The other horse is Joker, one used for trail rides for the guests. She assumes she’ll ride Joker until Raif indicates for her to get on Roscoe.
“Are you sure, he’s your horse?”
“He’s a good boy, I think he’d like it if you rode him.” He pats Roscoe and holds the reins as she mounts him. Raif gets on Joker and leads them off, Roscoe following with no instruction really. She feels good on the horse, better than she has in a long time. She feels free.