45. Chapter Forty-Five
Chapter Forty-Five
Raif
A xel had it easy, Chloe found out he was a bear shifter because Axel had saved Chloe in the woods from a mountain lion.
He had shifted into his bear form, saved her, and transformed back to a man in front of her eyes.
Chloe had questions, of course, but she didn’t freak out.
Didn’t care that Axel and his brothers turned into bears.
She wanted to be with him, and that was that.
Raif doesn’t think it will be as easy with Ash.
For one, there probably won’t be a dangerous situation in which he needs to save her in his bear form.
For another, he’s basically been lying to Ash all this time, and he’s honestly not sure how she’ll react when he tells her.
But he knows he has to, knows it’s time.
Ash is at the lodge, and they’re walking the ground holding hands.
She looks beautiful. She’s got a smile on her face as she tells him a story of when they got called to literally rescue a kitten from a tree.
She says it was so small and tiny, and when Ben brought it down with the truck ladder, everyone cooed over it.
Ben ended up taking the kitten home with him.
He’s heard the story before from the other firefighters, but doesn’t interrupt her.
He likes hearing her talk, especially when she’s carefree like this.
The wind blows through her hair, pushing her chestnut locks off her shoulders.
She has on a cream colored sweater, jeans, and knee-high boots.
She’s dressed perfectly for the blustery day.
He picks wildflowers for her as they go, telling her what they’re called, and she gathers them up in her hands and smells them.
He watches her, keeping his eyes on her at all times. She’s happy right now, and she very well may not be after he tells her. She might need time apart, might never want to speak to him again.
When they’ve gone far enough into the woods that they won’t run into any lodge guests, he sits her down on a log.
“Ash, I have to tell you something.”
“Okay?” she says with a bright smile.
He runs his fingers through her hair and brushes his thumb along her cheek. He wants to remember her like this, memorize this moment forever, when they were happy together, when she cared for him.
“There’s something I need to tell you, show you.”
“What is it?” she asks, back sitting up a little straighter, brows furrowed.
“My brothers and I, we’re different. I don’t want to scare you. Promise you won’t leave until after, that you’ll let me explain.”
“Raif, you’re freaking me out here. What is it you have to tell me?”
He stands up and backs away from her, pulling off his shirt and toeing off his boots. She watches him intently, and he thinks he should have kissed her before he did this. When he drops his pants and boxers, he can see the confusion on her face.
“Just stay here, please.”
She nods, and with that, he twists his neck hard enough to crack.
He lets the change rip through him. His teeth elongate and sharpen, bones in his face transforming.
He moves his body, feels his hands hit the ground, and the shift rip through his spine.
It’s not painful anymore after years of shifting.
It was in the beginning, when he was little, he’d whimper and not want to do it till his dad coaxed him.
Now it’s second nature. In an instant, he’s before her on all fours in his bear form. A large golden grizzly.
He huffs out a breath from his nose and takes a step closer to Ash. She jumps up from the log and backs away, holding up her hands. This is when she runs, this is when his mate leaves him. When the secret of him and his family is exposed, they all perish. This is the end.
Her eyes are big and dart all around his body. He sits back on his haunches, but that makes her eyes widen further, probably from how tall he is and his massive size. He can’t speak like this, can only watch her.
Something like a strangled laugh comes from her throat.
“What the fuck, Raif?”
It’s a whisper, barely audible, but at least she’s talking to him, at least she hasn’t run away yet.
“Can you understand me in there?”
He nods his head yes.
“Fuck. I’m talking to a bear, a grizzly bear who can eat me at any moment.”
He whines at the accusation.
“Okay, one who won’t eat me. But who understands me? My boyfriend turned into a fucking bear. Fuck this is weird.”
Her hands are still outstretched in front of her, and she steps forward over the log. Raif doesn’t move, too afraid that if he does, she’ll bolt. He should have told his brothers he was telling her today. They could have helped talk her through it. Maybe even Chloe could have helped.
She moves forward another step, and he can see her hands are trembling. He forgot to tell her he loved her. Before he changed, when he asked her to stay, he should have said it again. Should have told her that he loves her always and forever, that he was hers for as long as she’ll have him.
Ash looks around the woods as she moves slowly forward, her eyes dart all over before focusing back on Raif. She looks at his body, eyes flitting down to the large claws on his front paws. He wants to tell her he won’t hurt her, that he’d never ever hurt her, but he can’t.
When she gets about three feet in front of him, she stops and drops her hands, she looks into his eyes, and he doesn’t look away, just matches her stare.
“I’m going to come closer now. Just stay still, okay?”
He nods and doesn’t move, still sitting upright. After a minute, she moves, hands coming up in front of him and stepping forward. She’s scared, he can see it. She’s scared of him. But she’s trying, and that’s more than he could ever have hoped for.
Her fingers reach out tentatively and stroke through the fur on his chest. He stays perfectly still and lets her explore. She’s extremely gentle in her touches. She runs her hand down his front arm till she gets to his paw, fingering his claws.
He slowly, without wanting to scare her any further, lowers his head. He brings it down till his eyes are on the ground and his head is rounded towards her. He’s being vulnerable, taking his eyes off her, exposing himself to her if she wanted to hurt him.
He feels her small hand come up and touch the top of his head, running her hand down the side till she’s cupping his cheek.
“Raif, look at me.”
He looks up at her, golden eyes locked on her chocolate ones.
“You’re beautiful.”