Chapter 21
Perhaps, One Day
Andrew
I don't expect to hear from Vince for the rest of the evening after dinner... or maybe ever again, to be honest. So, when my phone buzzes with a text from him while I'm lying in bed, commiserating over the disaster of the night, I'm caught completely off guard.
Vince: Andy, are you still up?
Vince: Are you ok?
Andrew: Oh yeah, I’m totally fine.
Andrew: I want to crawl into a hole and die, and I’m questioning all my life choices.
Andrew: But yeah, I’m fine.
Vince: The whole thing was my fault.
Andrew: Are you kidding? It was mine.
Andrew: Sam broke up with you.
Vince: Oh yeah, I got dumped pretty damn hard.
Andrew: Why are you asking if I’m ok? Are YOU ok?
Vince: No, I’m not ok. But I will be.
Andrew: I’m so sorry. The whole thing was my fault. I shouldn't have let Ted talk me into giving us a second try. That was stupid.
Andrew: I should have been honest with you, that things weren't going well.
Andrew: I didn’t expect you to text me tonight.
Andrew: Or ever again, to be honest.
Andrew: I’m humiliated, but you’re the one who lost something good. You’re the one who lost Sam.
Andrew: It’s my fault.
Vince: Stop.
Vince: It’s past your bedtime. Go to sleep.
Vince: I’ll see you in the morning.
Andrew: What?
Vince: For our run, dimwit.
Andrew: I figured you wouldn't want to continue being friends.
Vince: Why the hell would you figure that?
Andrew: What Ted said.
Vince: Andy, we'll talk more on the run tomorrow. Go get some sleep.
Andrew: I don't want to talk about what Ted said.
Vince: Ah. That seems healthy.
Andrew: Vince, please. I need you to promise. I'm not ready to talk about it. Can we just run?
Vince: Can we talk about how you have really bad taste in men?
Andrew: I’m serious. Promise me.
Vince: Alright, I won’t until you're ready. Promise.
Vince: Hey, you broke up with Ted, right?
Vince: Don’t want to pry, but you didn’t mention…
Andrew: Oh.
Andrew: Yeah.
Andrew: He took it exactly how you'd think.
Vince: I wanted to stick my fucking fork in his eye.
Andrew: I know you did.
Vince: You shouldn't let anyone talk to you like that, Andy.
Andrew: Hey Vince, our friendship isn’t ruined, right?
Vince: What? No.
Vince: Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit.
Andrew: Did you just pass out on your phone, old man?
Vince: It’s Latin. From Aeneid. Look it up.
Andrew: Dork.
Vince: Dimwit.
Vince: :)
Andrew: You can't see, but I'm rolling my eyes right now.
Vince: Yeah I figured.
Andrew: See you tomorrow.
Vince: Get some sleep, Andy.
The Aeneid sits on my bookshelf, its spine collecting dust, yet I still reach for my phone to decipher the Latin gibberish:
"Perhaps, one day, it will be pleasing to remember even these things."
Vince's words glow on the screen, and I want to let them soothe the ache in my chest, but the weight of tonight's disaster presses down. The embarrassment is crushing, a physical force that makes it hard to breathe.
I had assumed I'd singlehandedly destroyed our friendship, but it's worse than that. Vince and Sam—they were a power couple, the kind you see in magazines—and now I'm the idiot who apparently broke them apart.
How can he not be furious with me? How can he text me as if nothing happened, as if we haven't just detonated our lives?
The entire night feels surreal, like a bad dream I can't wake from.
Sam ended it because of me. Because of these feelings I've buried and failed to hide. But Vince... he doesn't say anything to suggest he feels the same. Not then, not now.
And he chased after her. Not me.
The idea that their breakup rests on my shoulders makes me sick to my stomach.
I can't lose Vince. He's no longer just someone I want in my life; he's someone I need. He's filled a part of me I didn't realize was hollow, patched a hole I never knew existed. He's the strongest connection I've ever had to another person, a lifeline I can't imagine cutting.
But knowing I'm the reason he lost Sam... it gnaws at me, relentless. Even if he can forgive me, can I ever forgive myself?
As sleep finally pulls me under, a terrible, brilliant thought strikes me with sudden clarity.
I'm going to fix this. I'm going to get Vince and Sam back together.