Chapter 30
I Have Not Yet Become Your Friend
Andrew
When I reach the sand, he's exactly where I know he'll be.
.. standing in the dark, staring out at the water.
His silhouette is stark against the moonlit surf, shoulders tense as if carrying the weight of the ocean itself.
The wind howls around us, loud enough that he doesn't hear me approach until I'm practically behind him.
"Hey!" I call, raising my voice over the gusts. He turns, wide-eyed, and I realize I might have startled him. "It's awful windy out here. What are you doing?" I grin, more at his spaced-out expression than anything else.
He stares at me long enough to make me feel awkward before finally responding, just as I open my mouth to repeat myself.
"I'm thinking."
I laugh. "Okay. About what?"
His face shifts, and I realize too late that I might've just asked the wrong question. He fiddles with his jacket zipper, hesitating, before finally offering a smile.
"I was thinking about The Twelve Caesars. Tiberius and his prisoners. You know the reference, right?"
"The Twelve Caesars, by Suetonius."
Vince laughs. "Yeah, that one."
A fifty-fifty shot of guessing one of his obscure references correctly, and I nail it. Honestly, I'm pretty proud of myself.
"What about it?" I ask.
"Do you remember what Tiberius said about the prisoner who begged him for a quick death?"
"Yeah," I say, immediately regretting my eagerness.
"'I have not yet become your friend.' He meant quick deaths were reserved for the people he liked, which was almost no one.
Though, I think his point was that he didn't like anyone.
But... it's been a while since I read it.
" I stop myself, realizing my nerves have me rambling.
"Vince. Where the hell are you going with this? "
He smiles faintly. "I don't fucking know, Andy. You just asked me what I was thinking."
I snort. "You always call me morbid, but you're just as bad with your weird obsessions, you know."
"Maybe you're just rubbing off on me," he teases.
"Oh yeah?" I ask, expecting the inevitable innuendo. But it doesn't come. He just looks at me, smiling softly, no smirk, no mischievous gleam in his eyes.
My face burns, and I turn to stare out at the waves, hoping the wind can cool me down.
Vince and I rarely share awkward silences, yet here we stand in one without an argument to have spurred it, and it's driving me insane.
This is the moment. I just have to push through the awkwardness and set up the surprise dinner with Sam, before we have his serious talk. It might be the only thing that can save this friendship.
Taking a deep breath, I go for it, keeping my eyes on the water.
"Hey. I was wondering if you wanted to go for dinner next weekend."
He doesn't respond immediately, and my heart starts racing.
"Andy," he says finally, his tone light with teasing, "are you asking me out to dinner at a fancy restaurant?"
I laugh, recognizing the callback to my own reaction when he'd invited me to Villa. He's joking, but I still feel my pulse quicken.
"There's a sushi place in Long Beach that's really good. Dinner at eight next Friday?"
I chance a glance at him. His expression shifts, his brows furrowing slightly, and a strange feeling churns in my stomach.
"Yeah, sure," he says, his voice casual.
Relief washes over me. It's done. The surprise is set, and all I have to do now is make sure everything goes according to plan.
But then he speaks again.
"Let me ask you something, though."
I freeze, bracing myself against the wind and whatever is coming next. "What?"
"You hate sushi."
I blink. "I don't remember telling you that. Ever."
"You didn't have to," he says, his voice edging toward amusement. "You ordered an ahi salad our first lunch during Relay filming, then picked out all the tuna. Like a weirdo."
I laugh nervously. "Okay, maybe, but that was back when you made me nervous—"
"And you never eat dinner at eight. You're in bed by nine every night, after reading a book. You eat at, like, five."
"I mean, sometimes I eat at eight." I try, floundering. "Like that time I was stuck in West Hollywood when the receptionist called out sick, and I didn't get home until—"
"Andy," he interrupts, his tone shifting, "what is this dinner about?"
I stand there, wind whipping my hair in every direction, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. My shoulders tense, my hands jammed deep into my pockets, as I stare at him with wide eyes.
He waits, patient but unwavering.
"I was going to surprise you with something," I admit finally.
His lips twitch, forming a faint smile. "You were going to surprise me?"
I nod.
"With what?"
I bite my cheek, shifting uncomfortably under his steady gaze. Finally, I mumble, "With... Sam. I was going to surprise you with a date with Sam. I talked to her, and patched things up. She wants to see you. She wants to talk."
His face remains completely unreadable.
"Andy, you dimwit," he says after a moment, his voice calm, "I don't want to patch things up with Sam."
My brain short-circuits.
Not only has he seen right through my plan, but he doesn't even want it.
"I thought you would. You didn't want to break up, Vince." My voice is shaky now, my breaths coming faster. God, this was a stupid idea. "You seemed completely devastated over losing her—"
"I was."
I frown. "Then... I don't understand."
"There's someone else."
My heart plummets to the pit of my stomach. He's found someone else.
A flood of panicked thoughts hits me all at once.
"Oh."
I turn my gaze to the water, unable to look at him.
My plan has failed.
It turns out, I have no idea what I'm doing.
Still, if he has someone else, that's the point, isn't it? Him being happy. Fixing what I've broken. Even if it doesn't work the way I've intended, this is good. This is what I want.
At least, that's what I tell myself as jealousy and shame claw their way up my throat.
This is the moment I've been dreading... realizing there's no way I'll ever truly get over him.
I love him. I will always love him. I'll just have to live with that.
"Well, I'm glad you found someone else," I say, forcing myself to speak through the knot in my chest. "I'm happy for you, but..." I push a smile to my lips, even though it feels like my entire face might crack. "You're dating someone, and you didn't even tell me?"
"No. We're not dating."
I frown, confusion overtaking my misery. "Is it more of a casual thing?”
"No."
I finally look at him, the wind whipping around us, my confusion mirrored in his expression.
"I haven't done anything about how I feel. Not yet. Because I've been chicken-shit about it," he admits.
A nervous laugh bubbles out of me. "Do you want my help or something?"
"They don't know how I feel."
"Then show them. Maybe—"
"I do." His voice cuts through the wind, sharp and certain. His breathing quickens, his grip on my shoulders tightening slightly.
"I would literally do anything for them," he says, words tumbling out in a rush.
"I pick them up almost every day, first thing in the morning.
They talk to me about things no one else does.
They get me... like no one else does. They're always helping me, even when I'm being a complete idiot, which is most of the time, and they genuinely care about my girls. "
My heart hammers so hard I can barely breathe. His hands move to cradle my face, and instinctively, I grab his wrists, my thumbs brushing over his hands like he always did to mine.
"They're a walking contradiction—a certified genius with the social awareness of a garden gnome. Courageous, relentless, with a wit that could disarm a bomb... and yet completely oblivious. When I turn on the charm, they assume it’s a joke.
Meanwhile, they stand there and let some spray-tanned Adonis drenched in dollar-store aftershave treat them like something they scraped off their shoe. "
A hot sting pricks the corners of my eyes. I press the heels of my hands against them, a choked laugh bubbling up my throat.
"Vince..." I manage, my voice wobbling. "Hold on. Were you jealous Ted?”
"No," he snaps, deadpan, a little too quickly.
That does it. The laughter escapes in full force.
"Vince..." My voice cracks as the words pour out of me. "I broke up with Ted because I'm in love with you." Tears stream down my face, but I can't stop smiling. "No one is the same as you. I tried. I really tried, but I can't ever not be in love with you. I can't."
A slow, melting smile spreads across his face. He laughs softly, his thumbs brushing my cheeks, wiping away my tears.
"What’s up with you and your double negatives?"
My eyes roll, a laugh bubbling up despite myself. "You're such a dork."
"Andy," he whispers, his voice so soft it makes my heart ache.
My smile widens, my heart feeling like it might explode.
"Yeah?"
"I love you. I've loved you for such a long time. I tried, too, but I can't. I can't ever not be in love with you either."
He pulls my face to his, kissing me before I can lose myself in tears. My hands slide from his wrists to rest on his waist and finally, for the first time, I let all my reservations go. I kiss him back with everything I have in me, the way I've dreamt of doing from the very start.
When I first met Vince, he brought my spark for life back without even trying. I went back and forth a million times, getting my hopes up and then convincing myself he'd never feel the same way. I thought I'd have to learn to be content as just his friend. For a while, I even believed I could.
But I was kidding myself.
Because the man in my arms isn't just a friend. He's my soulmate. I'm not even sure I believed in soulmates before Vince. How he ended up feeling the same way about me, I have no idea, but I'm the luckiest person in the world.
His gentle kiss deepens against my lips, the wind whipping around us in sharp gusts. My hair flies in every direction, and I can't stop laughing when he nips at my bottom lip.
"Hey, now..." I warn, a grin breaking across my face.
He smiles cheekily, his warm brown eyes lighting up with mischief. "Excuse me, was that some sort of weird threat?"
"Maybe," I tease, unable to stop the giddy laugh bubbling out of me.
My hands travel under his jacket, pressing against the warm skin of his lower back.
He groans softly before burying his face into my neck.
His breath tickles as his mouth traces a trail of kisses along my skin, tugging my jacket to the side to continue down to my shoulder.
Goosebumps prickle across every inch of me, and I feel like I'm floating, untethered from the sandy shore beneath my feet.
Okay, maybe this is escalating a little quickly.
I don't care.
His smell, his warmth, his everything. I can't get enough. I let my nails lightly drag up his back, the friction sending sparks through me, frustrated at how much I want him. When he moans against my neck, deep and gravelly, I swear I nearly come undone right then and there.
My hands slide around to his sides, pressing flat against his stomach before finding the hem of his pants.
His mouth returns to mine, urgent and rough, and his hands hold my face as I fumble with the button on his jeans.
He kisses me like he'll never get another chance, his tongue sliding into my mouth with a hunger that makes my knees weak—
"What the hell is going on out here!"
I freeze, Aubrey's voice slashing through the wind like ice water. My hands instantly still, relief flooding me that I haven't undone the button yet.
Vince freezes too, his hot breath still against my neck as he buries his face there, clearly fighting to compose himself.
My wide eyes dart toward the trail where Aubrey stands with Gary, both wearing masks of shock and barely suppressed hilarity.
"I knew it!" Aubrey yells, pointing at us with exaggerated triumph. "I fucking knew it! You guys suck so bad at hiding it!" He grabs Gary's arm, yanking at him. "Gary, did you know?!"
Gary remains frozen for a heartbeat, his blue eyes locking with mine, as wide as saucers. Then his face breaks into the widest grin I've ever seen.
Vince laughs softly against my neck, muttering curses under his breath about Aubrey and Gary ruining our moment. I hug him tightly, my grin spreading to match Gary's.
I'm lucky... so damn lucky for him, for Gary, for this strange, chaotic, incredible group of people who've stormed into my life.
Moving to LA felt like a fresh start, but tonight, I realize it's more than that. It's a whole new chapter, and for the first time, I can see exactly where it's heading.
I hold Vince closer, overwhelmed with gratitude—for him, for us, for everything.