Chapter 6
Jonah
You know you’ve got a problem when the humans around you are scarier than the monsters.
Had I enjoyed observing the violently fucked-up shadowkind creatures we’d come across while evacuating the city? Hell, no.
But even when those beasts were behaving in ways I couldn’t make sense of, I knew they were driven by instinct and self-preservation, however warped those instincts might have become as well.
When it comes to the soldiers stomping down the street around me? The glint in their eyes and the sheen of their guns makes my stomach flip over.
They’re on board with self-preservation too, sure.
But they’re also consciously choosing violence before they know it’s necessary.
That’s their go-to strategy. They’ve already tried to shoot at a few totally innocent higher shadowkind who they’d have found out were on their side if they’d bothered to listen first.
I’m not totally convinced that they won’t decide to try to shoot me if they object to my tone or my expression or who knows what else. Unfortunately for me, I can’t dive into the shadows like most of my colleagues can.
“Bullets won’t do much good against these creatures anyway,” I call out to the squadron around me. “You might slow them down a bit, but you have to let us bring our powers into the mix too.”
“We’ll follow our orders,” the man closest to me retorts.
The thunderous warble of a helicopter passing overhead makes any further conversation impossible. Not that my new sort-of allies seem interested in chatting.
Peri pops out of the shadows next to me, her arms jerking up in a gesture of surrender when several soldiers flinch. “I come in peace! I’m one of the good guys!”
She sidles closer to me, an uneasy yellowish glow wavering over her teal hair, and drops her voice to a murmur. “Are we sure that more is definitely merrier?”
Despite the situation, my mouth twitches with the start of a smile at her wry tone. Her anxiety quivers into me through our connection, but also all the warmth of her trust and affection.
The mess we’re investigating has gotten bigger than any of us could have been prepared for, but I couldn’t be happier with the closest companions I have on my side.
I lower my voice to match hers. “I think I need more data before I draw definite conclusions.”
Peri lets out a soft giggle and grasps my hand in a brief squeeze. Her odd new pet offers a chirpy sort of woof where it’s bounding along by her feet.
If it’s jealous, it’ll just have to deal.
For that one moment, I have the strange feeling everything’s going to be okay. Why shouldn’t we be able to conquer whatever weirdness the world throws at us next?
Then the horde of rioting shadowkind creatures hurtles into view from beyond the row of factories up ahead.
Beasts both big and small, their clashing features making them even more alien than regular shadowkind, barrel toward the mass of soldiers. So much good my advice did—most of the uniformed figures open fire without a second’s hesitation.
As the creatures jerk and swerve, flitting into the shadows and back out again, our shadowkind allies emerge on the flanks of the squadron.
I catch a glimpse of Raze charging into the creatures’ midst, smashing one into the ground and hurling another aside.
Ice glints from bolts Hail flings from his hands, aimed to disable the beasts rather than outright kill them.
I suck air into my lungs and holler out a string of sorcerous syllables with all the power I can put into them. Go back to where you came from! Stay away from other living beings. Do no harm.
The energy of my magic reverberates through my chest and into my voice. I can feel the impact it should have, can practically see the way the shadowkind I’ve pitched the commands towards should whirl and dash away.
A few of the smaller ones do, skittering back and forth and then fleeing toward the city. I think I see a couple of the mid-sized creatures stumble in momentary hesitation.
But mostly they keep charging toward us, shrieking and bellowing, snapping their teeth and slashing their claws.
My stomach sinks. The one talent I have that should help against these creatures is a total flop.
Not only that, I think I see a couple of regular shadowkind who joined our efforts darting away, accidentally hit by my words. Slight miscalculation.
I don’t have time to stew over my failure. The soldiers are failing too. Despite all their bullets, several of the rampaging shadowkind are pouncing right into their midst.
I dodge sideways as a spiny leopard springs past me.
A soldier yelps as it digs its fangs into her shoulder and gasps when a cracking surge of electricity knocks the creature backward.
She glances behind her at the higher shadowkind who came to her aid, and for the first time, I catch a glimmer of actual respect.
“Thank you,” she rasps out… and pelts the leopard-thing with a bunch more bullets that just turn it into a smoking leopard-thing.
It’s close enough to the source of the bullets that a few more rounds send it slumping into a heap of smoldering essence on the road. The same can’t be said for its swifter companions.
Shouts ring out all around me. A bull-like creature races toward me with its horns lowered, and some kind of slippery ferret sinks its fangs into my ankle. I stagger sideways, managing to dodge the hurtling horns, and snatch at a lamppost before I fall to my doom by ferret.
A shadowkind on our side hurtles by and smashes the ferret creature beneath one forceful foot. More beings run this way and that, heaving out powers and yelling suggestions to each other.
My arm tightens around the lamppost in a tighter embrace than I’d usually offer anyone other than Peri. Sweat breaks out on my forehead. I’m abruptly aware of the booming of my heartbeat.
No. I’m going to be okay.
I can’t melt down in the middle of a battle. My friends, my colleagues—everyone needs me.
What they need me to do, my scrambling mind can’t quite identify. I hurl a more focused command directly at the bull, and it actually trots backward a few steps before its glowing eyes flare with renewed rage. Which does at least give Hail time to freeze its legs out from under it.
I kick aside a rattish creature, sending it skidding across the asphalt. A giant newt roars at me, and I fling myself around the other side of the pole.
My breath is coming in short bursts now. Even with my eyes open, images that have nothing to do with the scene in front of me flash through my vision.
Shadowy forms lunging from the corners of a room. My mother’s body falling—blood spilling everywhere. Snarls and cackles—my body flung through the air and raked by claws—
I clutch the post even harder and try to focus on the ground beneath my feet the way my therapist back when I was a preteen used to teach me. Staying physically grounded can help keep my mind grounded too.
I’m not in the past. I’m right here.
Right here in the middle of a torrent of violent shadowkind.
Mirage pops up next to me, and my hand flings out automatically. I catch the shove just before my hand smacks his chest.
The fox shifter blinks at me and cocks his head. “Do you need help? You look sick, maybe. This doesn’t seem like a good place to take a rest.”
No. No, it’s not. And somehow just looking at him, taking in the ruddy conical ears poking from his hair and the glint of fangs in his mouth makes my pulse pound harder.
Somewhere deep inside my body is the knowledge that he’s one of them. One of the monsters.
Somewhere deep down, I don’t quite trust even him.
The shame of that recognition twists around my throat. I force out an answer. “I think I should go back to the camp. I’m not helping much here. Don’t worry about me. The rest of you… You should keep pushing the warped creatures back.”
Mirage’s forehead furrows. He reaches for my arm as if to help support me and freezes when I flinch away.
“They need you,” I say hastily to cover my reaction, and jab my hand toward the fray up ahead.
The combined efforts of the army and the gathered higher beings has started to push the warped creatures’ assault backward. And I’m really not any use if I’m distracting my allies from the job they need to be doing.
I turn and fix my gaze on the next lamp post down the street. When I reach it, I aim for the next one after that. My pulse keeps thundering through my veins. The ground feels as if it’s teetering beneath my feet.
The wail of sirens brings a weird mix of relief and apprehension. As I sway onward, three ambulances careen into view up ahead.
A couple park farther down near the tents. One zooms until it screeches to a halt just a few paces away from me.
A team of paramedics emerges from the back doors. A couple of them grab my arms and haul me toward the ambulance. “Hey, we’ve got you now. Where are you injured?”
My words hitch on the way out. “No injuries. Just—just something like a—panic attack.”
They don’t appear to believe me. One tuts to himself while the other bustles around pulling equipment out of boxes. She nudges me down to sit at the back of the ambulance.
“The reports coming in from here are crazy,” the man says as he checks my pulse. “Panicking seems like a normal reaction. Your breathing’s erratic. You haven’t inhaled anything toxic?”
I shake my head, and the world sways. “Nothing—nothing like that. I’m really okay.” Or I will be, once I get a hold of myself. “There are other people you should be helping.”
“Everyone matters.” The woman shudders. “They’re saying there are monsters out there? What the hell is going on? Here, lie down for a minute.”
I don’t know how to argue with her. They are monsters, in one way or another.
I sink down on the ambulance floor and stare up at the white ceiling. Fainter visions of the past flit past my eyes.
The ones who killed my family, who ripped me from our little village and terrorized me while they decided how to use me—they were monsters in every sense of the word.
They’re gone now. They can’t hurt anyone anymore. Rollick and Quinn and the rest of them made sure of it, nearly twenty-five years ago.
But now there are so many more, with ripping teeth and rasping claws…
I close my eyes. “They weren’t trying to be here. They’re confused. It isn’t their fault.”
The man snorts. “Right. Not their fault they’re tearing apart a whole city.”
Part of me wants to argue with him. Part of me knows he understands what’s happening far less than even I do.
But from that place deep inside me, a quiver of uncertainty rises up.
How could something this bad happen just by accident?
There’ve always been shadowkind who preyed on the mortal world, even if it wasn’t most of them. Are we making excuses and giving the benefit of the doubt when we really should be treating this disaster as a declaration of war?