Chapter Eight #3
“I’ll be fine,” she assured him. “You may sleep with the other men and there is no need to worry about me.”
“There is always reason to worry about the safety of a woman in a camp of soldiers,” he said. “And while most of the MacEgan men are honorable, I cannot speak for all of them.”
She didn’t want to think of him sleeping outside with no shelter. But it didn’t seem that he would listen to reason. He was a proud, stubborn man who would suffer outside in a winter storm before he would leave her unguarded.
“Come inside for a moment,” she told him.
He obeyed and entered the tent, closing the flap behind him to keep the heat inside. “What is it?”
“Sit down,” she told him. Killian’s gaze moved around the small space, but he obeyed. When he was seated near to the hot stones, she sat across from him. “That’s better.”
“Well?” he prompted.
“I didn’t want you to be outside,” she admitted. “You went to the trouble to get hot stones for me, so I thought you should warm yourself.”
He didn’t look at all pleased by her invitation. Instead, he tried to stand up again. The space within the tent was too small and his head brushed the ceiling. “It will only make it that much colder when I leave, Taryn.”
Her heart began to pound, but she blurted out, “You don’t have to sleep outside.
” Her words came out as a whisper, and she didn’t know where she’d found the courage to voice them.
Color rose to her cheeks, and she clenched her hands together.
It was meant as a kindness, though she knew how it must sound.
His expression narrowed, and he moved down on one knee until he was facing her. “What are you asking, Lady Taryn?”
She took a deep breath. “I am asking you not to remain in the ice and cold. I would not rest well, knowing that you faced such discomfort.”
“I am a soldier and little more than a slave,” he answered quietly. “I am used to sleeping outside.”
“I don’t want you to.” Her voice came out hushed, more worried than she’d intended to sound. “It isn’t right, nor is it necessary.”
“I am your guard,” he reminded her.
And he was, but it was more than that. She squared her shoulders.
“If you want to sleep here, in a warmer space, you may.” When he didn’t answer, her nerves tightened.
“Or...or if you’d rather not, you can go back to the other tents with the rest of the MacEgan soldiers.
Just...not outside.” She drew her knees up, pulling the hood of her cloak over her hair to shield herself from the embarrassment.
“What would the others say about you?” he asked quietly. “You know what they will think.”
The frustration gathered up inside, and she shrugged. “Does it matter any more?” She had reached the end of her hopes, and now she simply didn’t care. This was about giving him shelter for the night, nothing more.
He sat facing her, and beneath his gaze, she was even more wary. “You would not invite any of these other men into your tent, would you?”
She shook her head. And though she wanted to deny that there was anything between them, she knew it was not true. “I trust you,” was all she said. “You would never hurt me.”
She lowered her hood once again, facing him openly. Though it was difficult to see in the darkness, she was aware of his shadowed form and the way the atmosphere between them had shifted.
“No. I would not.”
The interior of the tent seemed to close in on her, and her heart faltered at the way he was looking at her.
She yearned for things she shouldn’t have, and beneath her skin, she warmed to his presence.
He didn’t speak, and she felt the need to fill the silence.
“I also know you won’t listen to me. You’ll sleep outside my tent, whether I want you to or not. ”
With that, he admitted, “I would, aye.”
The amusement in his voice broke apart even more of her defenses, and she recognized the danger to her heart. She was falling beneath his spell, wanting so desperately for this man to care about her. It was a foolish hope, and she steeled herself, trying to raise up her defenses again.
“Are we not friends?” she asked. “Can you not simply sleep over there and accept the comfort I offer you of a warm place to sleep?”
He moved in closer. “You don’t understand, do you?”
She had no idea what he meant. “Understand what?”
“A beautiful woman invites a man into her tent...and you believe nothing will happen?”
Her face was on fire, but she distracted herself by rearranging the pile of furs. Was he suggesting that he was unable to resist her? She thought it very unlikely. “Of course nothing will happen. It’s a place to sleep, and I will remain on the opposite side.”
“No,” he said quietly. “You’re wrong.”
She didn’t understand what he meant. Before she could ask, he continued, “Kiss me the way you did last night. And then tell me if you think it’s wise for me to share your tent.”
The blood rushed through her veins, and it suddenly felt warmer within the space. “There’s no need for that.”
“I think there is,” he countered. “You have no grasp of what could happen.”
Her cheeks flushed, and she lowered her gaze.
“You’re wrong.” But the truth was, she didn’t know what was between them.
He had behaved in a jealous manner when Connor had flirted with her.
And he had a possessive nature, wanting to claim her and the land in Ossoria.
Yet she couldn’t tell what he truly desired.
He moved in closer and brought his hands to rest upon her shoulders. “I’m not wrong, a mhuírnín.”
She was stunned when his mouth descended on hers.
Against his mouth, she was aware of his hot breath and the way it felt to be taken like this.
She could only hold on to him as he threaded his hands through her hair, capturing her lips and beckoning her toward sin.
The kiss went on and on, pressing tendrils of desire through her body.
She was aching to be touched, and a moan escaped her when his tongue tangled with hers.
He took her past the edge of madness, her body softening against him. Between her legs, she grew restless, wanting to know more of this carnal pleasure.
It was dangerous, to be taken like this. Perhaps he was trying to frighten her into pushing him away. Instead, he was tempting her closer.
She wanted to know more of this blazing desire, to be touched by a man who stole her inhibitions and made her want so much more than the life she had.
His lips traveled down her throat, and shivers rocked through her. She gripped his head, and a moment later, he laid her down against the furs. It had grown darker, and she could hardly see his face.
But she could feel his touch. His hands moved down her back, drawing him closer. He palmed her bottom, pressing her against him. Between her legs, she could feel the blunt erection pressing, and instead of terrifying her, it made her want to open to him.
No husband would ever touch her like this. If she went to her wedding night a virgin, it was likely that he would shove her legs apart and drive between them. He would take her only a few times, perhaps once to consummate the marriage, and again to conceive a child.
Or perhaps he’d never touch her again after the first time, taking other women to satisfy his urges.
He certainly would never kiss her senseless, his body rocking against hers. She was achingly wet, and if Killian asked it of her, she might have surrendered to the needs overflowing inside her.
Instead, he shoved her back, cursing beneath his breath.
“Wh-what is it?” she stammered. She hadn’t wanted him to stop, but he was behaving as if he despised her. It took a moment for her brain to realize that he wasn’t going to continue touching her.
“Don’t ask this of me, Taryn.” He was behaving as if this was her idea. She had kissed him back, aye, but that was because she’d wanted to.
She realized suddenly that he’d kissed her in an attempt to frighten her, so she would force him out. Her response wasn’t at all what he’d expected.
Likely, he hadn’t wanted her to kiss him back.
A pang of hurt formed inside her, but she sat up and faced him.
“I offered you a place to sleep, so you wouldn’t be out in the cold,” she pointed out.
“I never invited you to share anything more. And if it bothers you to be so close to me, perhaps you should go back to the soldiers and stay with them. It matters not to me.”
Killian stood without speaking a word. Then he left, as if nothing at all had happened.
Taryn closed off the entrance, tying it shut. Her heart was still beating rapidly, and her feelings were bruised from this. She should have known that this was a mistake.
He’s not your friend, her common sense reminded her. This is about his own personal gains. Not you.
She huddled in the furs, even knowing that sleep would not comfort her this night.