CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
RHYAN
The wind howled at that moment, the sound almost violent. Rain was pouring down, sinking into my already soaked clothes. All around me, the soturi making up my father’s personal escort stilled, their heads turned toward me, their hands reaching for their weapons. I recognized the bastards. Especially the ones who’d been present for my mother’s death, for her murder.
“I give you one inch,” my father said, “One! And you take a fucking mile.”
My teeth chattered, every part of me shivering, and sore. The scent of damp earth filling my nostrils. “A mile? I’m not even off the grounds of Seathorne,” I seethed. “What more do you want? I’m here aren’t I? I didn’t run!”
He stalked closer, reaching for my chin, squeezing it between his fingers as he wrinkled his nose in disgust. “You smell like gryphon-shit.”
“Well, at least I’m consistent, Your Highness,” I gritted through my teeth. I stepped back from his hold, needing far too much energy to do so. “Now if you give me leave, I’ll return to my room and prepare for our journey.”
“No,” he drawled. “Not yet.”
“For fuck’s sake,” I said. “I’m bound. I’m here. What more do you want from me?”
My father’s chin twitched, and he stroked the edge of his beard, before pulling out his sword. I tensed. But he didn’t point it at me. He turned it in his hand, stroking the red jewel embedded in the hilt. The key. My key. Auriel’s key.
He shook his head, clicking his tongue again. “I don’t think you’re in any position to act as though you’ve done all you can. Not while you’re doing the absolute least to even pretend you like Amalthea.”
My palm itched. But I would not scratch it. I would not move. He had control for this month. I would honor Lyr’s agreement, do what she commanded of me until the Valabellum—but not a second longer. I was going to find a way to get us out. Get her away from him.
“What does it matter to you anyway? Your people don’t care or notice the way I look at her. All they see is a man about to be wed. They don’t notice anything else.” I made sure of it. And it had been easy. Turning off my emotions. Being bound, my aura was already gone.
“You are not just a man. You are my son, a lord of Ka Hart! And to this day, you remain an ungrateful, ignorant wretch.”
My lips pulled back, baring my teeth. “Remind me again of what exactly I’m to be grateful for? Huh? My mother? My new stepmother? Your careful treatment of me all these years?”
“You do realize that I am the one thing standing between you and a permanent position as a chayatim in the Palace. Or worse? You think I didn’t keep your mother safe from being enslaved? You think I haven’t kept you off the Emperor’s radar all these years!”
I wanted to choke him. He’d saved me from nothing. And what he did was not for my sake, but for his. Always, always for his. I could fill a scroll with all the things he’d failed to protect me from. The Senator from Hartavia’s advances. The akadim attacks we’d endured. Watching my mother die at his hands. Losing all of my friends. The scar on my face. The first time my heart broke.
“Never enough. None of it is enough for you,” he sneered. “What more can I do to knock some sense into your thick-headed skull? Maybe I should stop trying to help. Maybe I should hand you off to the Emperor myself. Wouldn’t that be a memorable Valabellum? Watching him strip you of all you are.” His eyes narrowed.
“You wouldn’t dare,” I said. “You know what I am, and we both know what you’re trying to do here.” My hands clenched into fists. “Enough of this. I’m going inside.” I rose to my feet, and stalked toward him. “We both know you won’t hand a God over to your enemies.”
“A God?” He scoffed. “You’re no God now. A God wouldn’t be researching endlessly in the library.”
My heart was pounding, still thinking of what I’d done to Shiviel. Of the child created from breaking his soul. The eighth Guardian. Kane was less now, weakened. But weren’t we all in some way? I’d felt Auriel that day in Ha’Lyrotz, when I made my threat, swore my oath to protect Lyr. But my father always knew too much. And some old worry began to niggle the back of my mind.
And yet, the memories were too strong, the link unweakened even now. Wasn’t the fact that he hadn’t escalated his treatment of Lyr to something more horrid proof of my power?
I glared. “Research? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He tilted his head. “Do you really think I don’t know about every single fucking scroll that was pulled for you?”
“I would think an Imperator has more important things to worry about than one soturion’s reading habits.”
“I know it’s related to her. You wouldn’t be out here,” he pointed to the seraphim, “otherwise.”
“I’m brushing up on my history.” I shrugged. “Seeing as how I was part of it.”
He stepped closer, and without warning, slapped me with such force that I sank to my knees. My hands clenched, but I willed myself still. He couldn’t hurt me. Not if he wanted me to steal the shield, to bring him Ereshya’s shard. I needed to be in top physical condition, and he knew it. But I couldn’t underestimate him either. Just as often as he was ten steps ahead, he’d let his anger get the best of him. His aura was pulled back, his face dangerously neutral. Gods. It was still impossible, even after all these years, to know which version of my father I faced.
“Let’s try this again,” he said. “And think carefully now before you answer. I have your girlfriend’s contract signed in blood. Do you get that? She does what I want. When I want. When I tell her to dance with Kane, she does. And when I tell her to look like she’s in love, to smile and hold hands and kiss his cheek, she does. And you’re lucky that’s all I’ve asked. I could have just as easily let him fuck her. I could have fucked her myself. But I didn’t. Now you tell me what you’re up to, or I may not be so nice in the capital where it truly counts.” His eyebrows narrowed to a V. “You understand that all I have to say to her is ‘get into his bed,’ and she’ll comply. I can tell her to open her legs for him, again and again, and she’ll do it with a whore’s smile. I can tell her to moan for him, and I can tell her to lay there while you watch.”
My fist was flying before I could stop it. But my father dodged. All at once, his soturi moved forward, but he signaled for them to remain still and resume their posts.
“Do you know what the punishment is for striking your Imperator?”
“Do you remember what I said in the dungeons?” I gritted.
My eyes glanced side to side, noting his voice had lowered. His men stood at the edge of the mount, offering privacy. So, he didn’t want them to hear, but still felt the need to make a show of his strength to me.
His lips curled. “Don’t hurt Lyriana? Was that it?”
“I meant what I said. You touch her, you die. And not just once.” And with my words, I could feel that same fire, that same conviction that overpowered me in the cell.
“I’ll take my chances.” He stepped forward, reaching for my throat before I could react. Then his finger was tracing my scar, his nail scratching from my forehead to my cheek, pressing in just enough to hurt but not puncture my skin.
I winced, despite myself.
“You’d do well to be more convincing, Rhyan. You look like you hate Amalthea.” He glared.
“I do.”
His eyes narrowed. “You forget that by looking besotted with your betrothed you protect Lyriana, too. You still have to convince everyone in the Godsdamned Empire you weren’t lovers—because that crime can still have you both stripped and killed.”
“I’m aware,” I said.
“Then let’s not have a repeat in the Palace of what you did the other night. Don’t think for a second I didn’t know where you went off to at your aunt and uncle’s. Or who you sought in the dark of the corridors.”
“Fine. You caught me. Can I go now?”
“You still didn’t answer my question.” His chin twitched. “What were you researching?” He reached into his pocket, and a small black nahashim slithered out. “Tell me the easy way.”
My throat went dry, and I gave up. He’d do it. And it seemed pointless to fight. He knew too much already. Knew I was Auriel, knew Lyr was Asherah, and Kane was Shiviel.
“I’ve been researching Rakashonim. ”
The last thing I expected was for my father to laugh. He tipped his head back, and clutched his stomach. Even his guard seemed startled by the sudden shift in his mood.
“ Rakashonim? ” he chuckled. The sound was cruel.
I shook my head, completely unsettled. “You know what it is?”
His face was nothing but pure derision. “If you were paying attention, you’d remember I told you about it years ago. She can call on it—I’ve seen her do so myself. Luckily for me and for you, she’s too weak to use it properly. Because when she does muster her full strength, she will do so with such destructive consequences, you won’t wish to be alive.”
I shivered. “What about her? Can it hurt her?”
“What do you think? She’s in more danger from that than from anyone else in this world.” His eyes twinkled. “I’m almost tempted to see what she can do.”
My gut roiled. “Is that why you let me do my research?” I asked. I knew I’d been taking a risk with the scrolls. I was aware he knew I’d been reading unsanctioned scrolls, aware he could shut down the operation at any moment, and that he’d find a way to punish me when he did so. And yet, for weeks he hadn’t.
“The only thing that has ever moved you,” he said, “the only thing that ever unleashed an ounce of submission, or duty, or intelligence into your Godsdamned mind, is the idea of her in danger. Yes, I let you do your little research, expecting you to come to the correct conclusion. She cannot be allowed to use that power.”
In the distance I saw a gryphon approaching, a carriage on his back—the one I knew my father would ride on to Numeria.
“Now,” he said, “you know what to do today when we arrive—when we appear before the Emperor and his sniveling nephew. You do your Godsdamned duty. Convincingly.”
I didn’t see the dagger until the hilt punched me in the stomach. Right where I’d been stabbed. I sank to my knees, coughing, and gasping for air.
“I might not hand over the power of a God to my enemies,” he snarled, forcing my head up. “But there are ways to weaken you still. To be done with you without giving up my advantage.” Then he shoved me down, my face hitting the mud. I watched as my father and his men retreated, leaving me alone in the rain.