Chapter 5
The boarding quarters were a tight fit. Uma glanced around the room grimly. While she had cleared out the excess bunks and had a small table brought in with a heavy iron candlestick, it was more serviceable than comfortable.
It would do. If nothing else, it matched the stern and uncompromising persona she presented the world. Every hint of vulnerability she kept carefully locked away. It was necessary in her line of work if she were to succeed. Guardswomen who could not learn burnt out quickly and left the guard after just a few short years. Vulnerability opened a guardswoman up to scrutiny by those in power and potential abuse by those who would take advantage of it. How many good women had she known who had resigned due to some scandal they were caught up in?
Uma had paid for her own mistakes in the past, and it was only by learning from it that she had managed to survive and rise through the ranks. She lifted her right hand and grazed her fingertips over the heavy scarring running down her cheek. Every scar was a reminder to never be vulnerable again—never let another have that kind of power over her. Since then, she had only allowed herself the indulgence of vulnerability once, but it had been one born of complete disbelief as she had listened to Arie and her Ragoru triad address the people of the citadel.
Do you mean to say that I might have a triad that would want me despite my scars?
She hadn’t meant to speak then, and the words haunted her still as a reminder of her own weakness behind the scars. They had been the words of a woman with hope, not a seasoned guard who knew better than to make such a gamble or allow anyone to have that sort of power over her through that vulnerable part of her heart.
She shook her head. Her words haunted her, but she buried that woman once again deep within herself, unwilling to take the chance of even hoping for a Ragoru triad when she knew firsthand how easily one could be destroyed by it.
She knew, and the guardswomen of the lower district that she had on staff knew. The warders would soon also learn if they wanted to last long, even if their confinement to their respective neighborhoods gave them the illusion of safety. That same illusion that made more than a few guards flaunt their authority would be the first to become prey when they drew the wrong kind of notice. Although the lower district was a bit more isolated, it wasn’t without the influence of the powerful who enjoyed playing there. Even the formation of the Guardsmen Guild—erroneously called since she couldn’t think of one person who wasn’t within the higher ranks who wasn’t a guards woman —had done a lot to change that.
Uma shook her head as she unpacked her few meager belongings. At least as captain of the lower district, she had the opportunity to protect the women under her command better than her superiors before her. As for the warders, they would step in line or be dealt with—whether by her or the powers that be within the citadel. Or something else if they attempted to abuse someone mated to a triad. Her lips thinned humorlessly. There were some outstanding warders who diligently served their neighborhoods, but there were far too many who were as predatory as the lords and young masters of the merchant class within the citadel. And somehow just as arrogant too if they believed she wasn’t aware of what they were doing and not keeping a meticulous file on each of them.
To her left, Katiera looked around the room with a pinched expression, her brown braid falling over one shoulder. “Are you sure about this, captain? This bunk and the rear rec area are pretty much isolated back here with the cells. You will essentially be alone with them.”
Uma glanced over at the guardswoman who had not only served with her for many years but had also been her friend for nearly just as long, ever since they both joined as recruits in their youth. “Who else is going to do it?” She sighed and shifted her carefully folded changes of clothes into the chest at the foot of her bunk. “It was my idea, so it’s only natural that the foreman asked me to do this. Any other option would mean leaving them locked up in a manner that we would consider inhumane if it were humans stuck in a similarly proportioned cell.”
Katiera winced in sympathy. “I get that, but it is only for a few days, maybe—”
“You didn’t just see it in there,” Uma interrupted, cutting her off. “With one of them sitting, he filled up nearly the entire floor space, and they easily crossed the entire width of the cell within just a few steps. They are practically on top of each other. To keep them penned together as if they were animals doesn’t set right with me.” She met Katiera’s gaze as she looked at her from over her shoulder. “They aren’t animals—they are people. Not to mention that they are people who likely haven’t even done anything wrong given what we know of their accusers.”
“Of course,” Katiera rushed to agree. “It’s just that....” she began as she fidgeted unhappily, “I worry about you being alone with them without metal bars separating you.”
Uma chuckled, touched by her friend’s concern. Straightening, she turned and smiled reassuringly at the other woman. “Don’t worry, Kat. It’s just a few days as you said, and it’s not like they will be out of those bars at all times. Just enough for some exercise and there will always be someone on shift within the station who can back me up if I call for help.”
Katiera made a face but leaned against the doorframe as some of the tension eased from her expression. “As fast as Ragoru move, I doubt that will be enough, but... you’re right. And they have been pretty well behaved,” she conceded. “If you are actually intending to take them out of the station at all, just let me know so I can back you up personally. The lower district tends to the get the greenest recruits, and I will feel better if I’m providing your cover.”
“All right. I know you are off duty for the next couple of days. Perhaps when you’re next on shift we can let them get some exercise around the market while some of the festivities are in full swing. It should at least be a good distraction for them. Not to mention showcase the lower district in a better light.”
A faint smile curled the corners of Katiera’s mouth. “No one can claim that you don’t have a mind for optics.”
Uma raised her brows at her friend and smirked. “Everyone treats the lower district as if it’s a cesspool, rather unfairly I might add since a lot of our trouble floats downstream from the upper districts. Highlighting our good points is important for fostering good relationships and making good impressions. We have no choice but to remove the Ragoru at this point, as what little evidence we have isn’t favorable toward them, but we can at least try to foster some goodwill and make them as comfortable as possible so that other triads are not discouraged from coming to Old Wayfairer.”
Katiera nodded thoughtfully. “That is a good point.” She gave the room another pinched look. “Are you sure that you’re going to be comfortable in here though? I can bring some extra bedding for you to make a more comfortable bed for you at the very least. The mattress on the bunk looks like it has been here since the station was built and is likely as hard as the foundation stones themselves.”
Uma chuckled at the observation as she too glanced at the sparse padding of the thin mattress waiting for her. She wouldn’t have complained too loudly about it as everything about the station was designed with utility in mind rather than comfort, but Katiera wasn’t wrong. In the past she might have rejected it just to prove her mettle, but she wasn’t getting any younger and the idea of sleeping on that mattress night after night without some kind of extra padding made her bones ache.
“Actually, that would be great.”
A look of surprise flitted across the other woman’s face, making her wonder what sort of martyr her people believed she was, but then Katiera smiled knowingly.
“Glad to see you joining the rest of us mere mortals,” she teased. “For these last few years, I’ve wondered if perhaps you had somehow reached divine levels of tolerance with the way you’ve been punishing yourself.”
“Punishing myself is a stretch,” Uma protested as she turned to her bag again. “Focusing on my duties and prioritizing it over other things in my life is more correct. And necessary,” she added in a clipped tone, leaving no room for her friend to protest or further conversation about the past.
Katiera was a good friend, but there were some burdens that she couldn’t share even with her.
“I know you had your reasons, especially after what happened. I’m just saying that if you ever need anything, anything at all, I’m here. I can share your burden, even if it’s just in a small way.” Uma nodded silently at the awkward offer, and her friend dragged in a shaky breath. “All right then, I’m going to go grab that bedding for you from my place. You know how my family believes I should have enough blankets as if I’m a one-person refugee camp in my apartment. I will grab your supper from a vendor on my way back, so you have something hot to eat.”
Uma met her friend’s eyes and gave her a grateful smile. “Thank you, Kat. For everything.”
Another smile flitted across Katiera’s face that belied the quiet and knowing sobriety in the woman’s gaze. She didn’t know the details of what happened, but she knew enough to not push even if it rested heavily in the air between them with the ghosts of the past that would never cease haunting her.
“Sure thing, Uma. I will be back shortly. Take it easy—you’ve been working most of the day getting everything set up not only here but in organizing schedules and tasks within the station for the next couple of weeks. You’ve more than earned your down time for the night.”
“I will. I need to take some food in to the Ragoru, but then I will be settling in for the night,” Uma assured her.
She watched as Katiera gave her a clipped nod and left before turning her attention back to her bag. Delving into it, she brought out the moment buried within it, her fingers running over the worn surface where she had touched it countlessly over the years. It was a reminder of her mistake that she wouldn’t let herself hide or escape from, not even for one night.
It was also a reminder as to why, despite her hopeful question she had posed, she knew that she would never be among those many women who deserved to be claimed as a mate. As if anyone could truly overlook her scars—because those on the surface ran even deeper beneath. Despite that, it also reaffirmed her commitment to the women of the citadel. She wouldn’t let some jealous assholes from the upper districts ruin their happy endings. She would deal with this triad because she had to, but she would investigate this matter and put in a formal request for a hearing once she had gathered enough evidence to keep this shit from happening again. It wasn’t the first time a triad had either been run out or removed from the citadel, though it had never happened before in her district or on her watch. It was past time to start dealing with it, rather than simply capitulating to the pressure put on them as other district captains had done.
It wasn’t going to be easy as much of the problem was ingrained in long held beliefs that were difficult to challenge regarding how many humans viewed Ragoru as unwelcome alien interlopers on their planet, much less in their citadels.
Her mouth tightening sternly, she set the memento beside the lantern and spun on her heel, leaving her quarters to feed said interlopers. Despite her assurances that she would rest, there was still much she needed to get done before Katiera returned and caught her working still. A tiny smile twitched at the corner of her mouth as she headed back toward the cold storage.