Chapter 23
Vrin’s cocks ached in a fever pitch of sensation that he had not felt since the Withering Days rut released its hold on him. He wanted her. He wanted to drop her in the snow and draw her ass up into the air, giving him complete access, and fill her and pound his seed deep into her so that his scent might never leave her.
Not now, though. He gritted his teeth and pushed back the impulse. Although he could scent her responding need, his lust was not what she truly required right now. His female needed shelter and rest. And warmth. Despite his fur and body heat keeping the worst of the chill from her, he could feel her shivering against him. Vrin increased his speed in response, his ears shifting and pricking toward the small sounds that gradually began to come to life as they neared the forest edge at the base of the border mountains. The trees loomed taller, their branches spreading wide in welcome, offering protection from the harsh elements of the open plain. He inhaled their scent with relish, cleansing away the odors of the citadel from his nose as he darted among the trees.
His pace barely broke as he raced along an invisible winding path. His nostrils flared, catching the familiar scents, his four eyes shifting—the two pairs moving independently—as he looked for the subtle marks left by his triad on their journey to Old Wayfairer Citadel. He picked them up easily enough, as did his brothers who slid among the trees like shadows around him, clearly of the same mind as him as they gradually ran along the sloping foothills of the mountain.
The snow had picked up again—they needed to find shelter as soon as possible. Fortunately, there was a small cave that they had all squeezed into previously. Vrin grimaced. Calling it a cave was being generous, but it would at least block the wind and most of the snow. It was too shallow to be any sort of cave—more a large break in the rocks as if something had scooped out stone and left a small den.
It was a tight squeeze, too tight even to make a fire, but at least their combined body heat pressed around Uma would keep her warm between them.
Kam paced ahead as they drew nearer, his tail flagging with his eagerness and refreshed good mood. Vrin glanced back at Laro. The male was guarding their rear as usual, his entire body tense and alert, and yet he too seemed to be invigorated. Vrin snorted softly to himself as he faced forward in time to evade a large branch. It seemed that they were all similarly affected, but perhaps for different reasons. Despite the lust racing through his blood, Vrin was... happy. And he could not even place the reason for it on simply being away from the citadel. Truthfully, the citadel was not all that bad—if they had not been restrained for so long in a small cell, he might have even found a certain pleasure in it and its strange combination of scents.
No, it was not because he was finally running free. His happiness was due entirely to the female clasped in his arms. Vrin shuddered in awe. Desire was expected as he was a healthy, unmated male in his prime and she was a healthy, unattached female. But as they entered the border forest, he felt jubilant and triumphant as if he had stolen the best part of the meat when his brothers were not looking. He was happy because he had her and was preparing to den with her, even if it was just for the night. And it felt right. She was his and he would never let her go... but first, he had to convince his triad.
His head swiveled as he cast brief speculative glances at his brothers. Of the two males, Kam would perhaps be the easiest to convince. The male was the most easygoing of their triad. When they first started discussing finding a new mate, he had voiced no preferences, being happy to go along with whomever Laro selected as a suitable mate. Vrin did not quite have the same faith in their lead and had made the most demands, most of which were going to now make him look foolish since Uma was none of those things.
She was not small and sweet; she was not submissive. Somehow he found the tallest, loudest, most assertive female in the entire citadel... and he could not want anyone more. She made him crazy with her stubbornness, and yet she undauntedly protected and cared for others. And while he did not like the fact that she just threw herself into conflicts, she was brave and intelligent and never shirked what she saw as her responsibility or worthy of her attention. And he quickly had found himself adoring all of that, and her cunning sense of humor that she did not hesitate to use in playful battle with him.
He hugged her closer and rubbed his cheek against the top of her head, guilt assailing him for how poorly he had initially treated her. Another female might have cried, but she had retaliated, earning his admiration despite his frustration and anger over their situation.
Uma had won him over so easily. Now he only hoped that he could help her do the same to Laro. Of all of them, he needed a female’s gentle touch the most and was the least likely of them to ask for it. He saw acquiring a mate for their triad as his duty to them, not as something that he desperately needed. Vrin knew different. He also knew that Laro could be the harder one to convince as the male had born the worst of the pain from Ekeren’s rages. Trusting a strong female would be more difficult, but Vrin knew Uma had a gentleness to her and was determined to help Laro see it as well.
“Here!” Kam suddenly shouted, and Vrin released the breath he had not even realized he had been holding, relief filling him.
Kam found the den.
Laro abandoned his guard as he circled around Vrin, coming around to pass him and join Kam. Both males immediately bent and began to dig away the snow that was blocking the entrance. Vrin waited patiently until the entrance widened enough and then squeezed in with Uma. The long straw that they had dug up from the snow previously to make their bed still lay in a thick layer over the stone floor, but in their absence it had become dry and gave the den an earthy fragrance. Vrin shifted his foot over it, looking for any sign of animals fouling the nest, before finally lowering into a crouch to set Uma upon it.
Her head swiveled as she looked around, but he knew with her weak eyes that she would make out little in the dim lighting. Already the sun was nearly set behind the mountain, and what light remained did not offer much to see by.
“Where are we?” she whispered.
“Shelter,” he grunted as he settled next to her and looked toward the entrance as Kam wiggled in with a grin.
“We found it when we came down the mountain,” Kam explained as he threw himself down onto the grass at Uma’s other side. “It is not much, but we will all fit and can enjoy being dry while we sleep.”
Uma looked pointedly at the snow slowly melting on his fur. “Dry, huh?”
Kam laughed and sprawled on his side. “The upper layer of our pelts does not stay damp long,” he assured her. “And we barely even notice it since our body heat keeps the lower layers dry and warm.”
“You will not notice either,” Vrin added, shooting an annoyed look at his brother. He turned, presenting the dry fur of his chest and belly toward her as he stretched out at her other side. “We will refrain from pressing the damp fur against you.”
At least what little snow they accumulated there melted and dried rapidly in comparison.
Laro grunted as he squeezed in after them and surveyed the remaining space. Vrin was already against the wall, and he gently tugged Uma so that she would move closer. She froze for a few heartbeats, but when her gaze blinding shifted to Laro’s glowing eyes she seemed to get the idea of what was going on as the male patiently waited. She chuckled softly, the sound warming Vrin’s insides, and then shifted, sliding her bottom over the dry grass in a soft susurrus as she moved over and reclined beside him, pressing intimately against his chest and belly. His arms immediately closed around her with satisfaction, and he smiled to himself when Kam eagerly wiggled over to press against her back.
The male was not going to be difficult to convince at all.
They lay there together as Laro squeezed in and dropped to the nest beside Kam with a tired yawn.
“Get some rest,” their lead rumbled. “Daylight will come quickly enough, and we do not want to be stuck in a dangerous spot on the mountain when the sun sets again. We will need to start out early.”
Vrin grunted in agreement, his eyes sliding shut, comforted by their mingled scents. He was tired from running that remaining distance with Uma in his arms, tired enough that it was easy to ignore the way his partially engorged cocks ached within their sheath. The ached subsided a small amount as he allowed himself to drift in a light doze but the sound of Kam shifting around made his eyes pop open to peer at the male irritably.
Kam offered him an apologetic smile. “My cocks hurt,” he whispered in ragii. “Pressing up against her heat is making me engorged.”
“Deal with it,” Vrin hissed in return. “Keep them within your sheath and go to sleep.”
“You are cruel,” Kam whined quietly, but he huffed and settled back down again under Vrin’s glare.
“You two are doing it again,” Uma whispered around a yawn.
Vrin grimaced and tucked his head against Uma’s. “Ignore him. Kam was just talking nonsense.”
“Not nonsense,” Kam rebutted, and Vrin wondered if he was going to have to murder the male if he dared to repeat their conversation for her. The last thing he wanted was for his intended mate to be uncomfortable lying between them. “I was just wondering out loud what that male meant about your sire.”
The tension eased from Vrin but his ears tipped curiously toward her. “I admit that I am curious about it as well.”
“Ah.” Uma sighed and shifted beside him until she seemed to find a more comfortable angle to lay, pillowing her breasts against him in a way that he enjoyed. “That is a bit of a long story.”
“We are not going anywhere,” Laro reminded her. “Sometimes it is good to share history and pain to ease our own hearts. In doing so we all benefit from understanding each other better. And maybe it will help these two be quiet and go to sleep.”
Vrin smiled to himself at the male’s disgruntled tone directed at them at the end but nodded in agreement. More than anything, he wanted to understand her better and for her to understand them. He was determined to keep her with him for the rest of their lives, so this was a necessary foundation—trusting each other with their pasts.
“What is your pain?” she whispered back. “You are all as scarred as I am, though only one of you wears it on your flesh like I do. If you want me to dig up my painful memories, maybe you should start.”
Laro did not reply immediately, and the silence stretched on in the den until Vrin wondered if he should just begin. He did not get the chance to reach a decision, however, because the lead’s voice finally broke the silence with a tired sigh.
“We were mated before. To a Ragoru, not one of your kind,” he clarified. “As we told you before, males compete to mate and the females chose the most desirable triad based on the performance of the lead.”
“That sounds like a lot of pressure,” Uma said softly, and Laro nodded.
“It is the duty of the lead, among many others. And the whole of the triad is weighed and judged by his actions. Ekeren was a strong female and highly desirable among several triads who had tracked her to where she was denning. In the end we were chosen, and we thought that we had been rewarded with best of mates. We took her to our den and settled into life together, looking forward to a future filled with plentitude and rogs. But my failures turned and soured her affections for us.”
Vrin snorted disdainfully. “What affection? You are trying to be too kind to her memory, but there was not an affectionate bone in that female’s body. She was admired for her strength and beauty, but that female did nothing more than take everything that she saw as her due. She only laid with us to enjoy our warmth when it was cold and for breeding purposes. We did nothing more than serve her and suffered punishment when we failed to meet her demands—you worst of all as our lead. So do not make her image seem kinder than it was and sacrifice yourself yet again for her to spare Uma from knowing the full truth.”
“I did fail,” Laro growled in return. “You cannot say that I did not when revolution after revolution our den remained empty.”
Uma shook her head in confusion. “I don’t understand. What did you fail to do?”
Laro’s silence spoke a great deal of the shame he still felt but Vrin had no patience for that. What the Fathers dictated in such matters was not his fault.
“He was unable to breed her,” he gritted out on Laro’s behalf. “Laro was picked for having the largest and most pleasing cock of all the lead males who extruded in demonstration for her, and so Ekeren expected that he would also breed her best.” He scoffed angrily. “And he did breed her—often in fact—and she got much joy out of it, but when the seasons passed and her heat cycle during the Withering Days failed to produce rogs revolution after revolution, she took it out on him.”
“Goddess!” Uma whispered, and he grimaced in agreement.
“She had a foul temper already and would physically punish us for anything that displeased her, but when she failed to be successfully bred, she became even more vicious. And Laro took the brunt of the punishment, though she had her ways of seeing that I suffered for my shortcomings,” he added bitterly. “We managed to spare Kam, sending him away from the den while one of us had her distracted so that he too would not have to suffer.”
Kam chuffed sadly. “You think I was unaware? I witnessed enough, and when you drove me away, I could still hear it and saw the aftermath. And Ekeren managed to catch me alone enough to remind me of my place. She was careful to hit me where it did not leave any permanent damage or show too much, since she understood well that you were protecting me. It was convenient for her to punish me when I went out hunting, and any strain or injuries could easily be explained away due to the hunt.”
Vrin’s jaw clenched. That was something he had not known. How had Kam never mentioned it? What had he suffered from that deranged female?
“Blessed Mother. I didn’t realize that it could be that way. And I thought problems of abuse were just a human issue.” Uma shook her head angrily. “She deserves to suffer her own punishment.”
“Oh, she did,” Vrin replied, a dark smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.
Her eyes turned sightlessly toward him, but he could feel the weight of her curiosity.
“What happened to her?”
“She died,” Laro bluntly replied. “I killed her.”
“We killed her,” Vrin cut in. He hugged Uma to him. “She tried to kill Laro so that she could replace us with another triad, or at the very least find another male to replace him as our lead. But it was clear she intended for him to die. Laro defended himself, but I attacked her while she had him pinned beneath her. Laro simply delivered the killing blow.”
Uma shuddered against him, and his heart sank. Would she be afraid of them now that she knew that they had intentionally killed their mate to save themselves?
“Good,” she snarled, and he blinked down at her in surprise. She shivered again and he realized then that it was not fear but anger as the emotion contorted her features and bled thickly into her scent. “She fucking deserved it.”
“You do not think badly of us for killing our mate?” Laro rasped hesitantly.
She shook her head. “Fuck no. I mean outright murder is one thing, and probably would have assured that I escaped your company while you slept just to be on the safe side. But you did not murder her. She was trying to kill you. That is self-defense. And that kind of cruelty deserves to be put down, if we are being honest.”
Laro did not respond but Vrin felt a change in the air as the male’s tension bled out, hopefully releasing some of the long- held pain that he felt with it. Laro had blamed himself for too long and had been afraid that any female who knew would reject them for what he had done. That a female would see him as a monster, and so be fearful of him. Vrin smiled as his eyes slid shut with relief. Uma had just shown what a worthy female she was yet again.
“What about you?” she asked, poking him in the side. He barely felt it due to the thick fur there, but he begrudgingly opened his eyes to scowl down at her.
“What about me?”
“Well, Laro was obviously torn up, and Kam was struck whenever opportunity presented itself. How were you punished?”
Vrin swallowed thickly. “I was struck and suffered from her bites and claws like Laro did, but with less frequency and less intent to do permanent damage. But her favorite way to punish me was to make sure that I felt no pleasure. She inflicted pain on me while forcing me to give her pleasure until I could no longer find any pleasure at all without that pain. It made me sick inside because I hated her for wanting to hurt me even as I came to need that pain.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry I asked,” Uma groaned.
Her arms came around him and he startled as they tightened in a hug. She was... reassuring him! Vrin buried his muzzle against her hair and breathed her in, relishing the moment. Laro had been right. They had needed this more than he realized.
“Now you bare your scars,” he rasped. He felt her hand go up to her face, but he caught it in his and leaned his head in closer to brush the soft fur of his muzzle against the scars on her face. “The scars in your heart, though I am sure they are linked.”
She took a shuddering breath and nodded. “They are. It is not a pretty story, one I try not to think about, but I suppose fair is fair.”
His ears pricked attentively but he never loosened his grip nor lifted his head. He wanted her to be surrounded by comfort while she opened her heart to them. He had a feeling that what she had born had left scars far deeper than her flesh.