Warrior’s Cross

Chapter Three #2

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it,” Julian pointed out. “It’s...” He trailed off and shrugged. “The scenery is much better.”

Cameron colored a little and smiled shyly. “How about dinner now?” he asked as he slid the bottle and bowl onto the bar.

“Sounds good,” Julian agreed.

Cameron nodded and turned away to start scooping thick, sauce-dripping pieces onto cobalt-blue stoneware plates. “So, now what?” he asked. He had no idea where they would go from here, besides to bed.

“Well. Logic tells us that perhaps we need to get to know one another,” Julian pointed out as he watched Cameron work on the lasagna.

Cameron’s lips twitched. “Yeah, that would make sense,” he commented. He pushed one filled plate toward Julian. “We’ve already skipped ahead several steps to the sex.”

“Better to get that out of the way first to make sure we’re not wasting our time,” Julian deadpanned as he moved to stand behind Cameron. He tugged at Cameron’s hip to turn him around and then stepped back to put a little space between them and held out his hand.

“Julian Cross,” he offered with a twitch of his lips.

Cameron reached out automatically and slid their hands together, stifling a chuckle. “Cameron Jacobs,” he answered. His lips curled into a true smile. “Pleased to meet you.”

“Oh, no, no,” Julian murmured in a low voice as he held onto Cameron’s hand and slid his other hand up Cameron’s arm. “The pleasure’s all mine, I assure you,” he drawled with a smirk.

Cameron laughed softly. “Debatable,” he replied. He looked down at the lasagna and glanced back to Julian. “Um. Would you like to have dinner with me? Tonight?” he managed to get out, the oddness of the fact he was asking at all, much less in these circumstances, making him nervous once more.

Julian looked down at the lasagna and then back up at Cameron with a brilliant smile. “As long as it comes with dessert.”

Cameron raised an exaggerated eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t like desserts. To my knowledge, you’ve only ever ordered one.”

“Ah, but it was a good one,” Julian affirmed with a wicked smile.

Cameron popped open what must have been the twentieth bottle of champagne for the night. It was a little past ten, and the restaurant was in full swing, filled to capacity. New Year’s Eve was always a crazy, busy night. He’d been going full steam since before noon. He broke free of the table of twelve he was helping and headed to the service area while all his tables were safely occupied with the festivities.

Miri thumped her tray down next to him. “Geez, I’m tired. New Year’s is always a madhouse,” she muttered.

“A very good-paying madhouse,” Cameron reminded her absently as he punched numbers into the register.

“Well, yeah,” Miri said drolly. “I make more tonight than I do in a month. And you working all day when you don’t have to? You’ll be able to retire soon.”

Cameron shrugged. “What else am I going to do? Sit at home by myself and watch the ball drop on Times Square? I’d rather be here with you, gorgeous.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

Miri swatted at him playfully. “Get back to work, Romeo.”

Cameron nodded as she moved off and hit the button to review the next order, tapping his finger on the counter. Once done, he took a breath and glanced at the small clock. Ten twenty-four. On a Tuesday night.

Since Julian had left his place the morning after Christmas, Cameron had heard nothing from the man. He didn’t have a phone number to try calling. And tonight should have been the night when Julian returned to the restaurant, but he had yet to show. It was far past his usual time, and Cameron was telling himself a lot of things to keep from getting depressed about it all. It was New Year’s Eve, after all.

The restaurant had been booked weeks in advance, and even a regular customer like Julian couldn’t just walk in. Or maybe he had prior plans for tonight and couldn’t change them.

Maybe he’d had to work.

Cameron closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. Julian hadn’t asked for Cameron’s phone number to get in touch with him, much less offered one. He’d merely left the next morning with a farewell kiss. It didn’t bode well for any future between them.

Cameron was relieved when the soft bell signaling a ready order sounded so he could go back to work and stop thinking about it. He’d been delivering appetizers in the party room for about fifteen minutes when he glanced up from taking orders to find himself looking straight at Julian. Julian’s eyes were on him, and when Cameron looked at him, the big man smiled slightly.

Cameron blinked a few times and then returned the smile brilliantly. He nodded ever so slightly and went on his way back to the service area, tempted the whole time to look over his shoulder. When he got back there, Miri was waiting, arms crossed, a smile on her face.

“Trade you tables,” she offered. Cameron flushed, and she laughed lightly, patted him on the shoulder, and handed him a table chit.

“Happy New Year.” Then she was out the door, moving toward the party room.

Cameron stood and looked at the chit before he shook his head and grinned. He snagged a bottle of wine and a glass and headed out to greet Julian.

Julian looked up from his examination of his little notebook, and he smiled discreetly as Cameron neared him. Cameron expected to be nervous when he saw Julian again. But he wasn’t; not really. He set down the wine-glass and tried not to grin. “Good evening,” he greeted, eyes sparkling and a soft smile curving his lips.

“Happy New Year,” Julian murmured to him.

“Not quite,” Cameron responded, pulling the corkscrew out of his pocket. “About an hour yet.” He worked the tool into the cork. “But if you order all the courses, you’ll be here at midnight.”

“That’s what I’m counting on,” Julian told him in a low voice, his eyes not leaving Cameron’s.

It was a long moment later when Cameron realized he was just standing there with his hands on the wine bottle, looking back at Julian.

He shook himself slightly as his cheeks flushed, and he pulled the cork.

“Good thing your back is to a wall,” he murmured. No one could see the silly look on his face except Julian.

Julian raised an eyebrow and glanced around before looking back up at Cameron. “You like my back against a wall?” he asked in a suggestive manner.

Cameron’s cheeks darkened more, and he offered a flustered murmur as flashes of Christmas evening came back to him. More wine had certainly made Cameron more adventuresome than usual, and Julian had taken full advantage.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes, thank you, I’d like some more’,” Julian drawled with a barely restrained smirk.

Picking up the wine-glass, Cameron bit his lip and then smiled ruefully as he poured. “You’re quite a bit like this wine,” he finally said as he sat the half-filled glass down in front of Julian.

“What, not drunk yet?” Julian asked as he fiddled with his notebook.

Cameron shook his head as he pocketed the corkscrew and deliberately met Julian’s eyes. “Intoxicating,” he explained breathlessly. After two heartbeats, he escaped, heading for the service area to get the water pitcher and a bread basket.

His cheeks were still burning when he got there. After placing the basket and pitcher on a small, cloth-draped tray, Cameron took a few deep breaths to settle his heart rate before he headed back out the door.

Lord knew what Julian would say next or how he’d react to it. Julian was right; he could easily bother Cameron at work just by being there.

He stopped in front of the table and waited for Julian to look up.

Julian finished writing and set his pen down, looking up deliberately and meeting Cameron’s eyes.

“Are you ready to order?” Cameron asked as he set the basket on the table.

“How long are you here?” Julian asked him, so softly that only Cameron could hear.

Cameron shrugged. “Restaurant’s open until everyone leaves. I came in at ten this morning for prep, and usually I stick around and help out. But you’re my only table now.”

“So,” Julian posed thoughtfully, “if I were to have my food boxed up and paid my check, you would be free to go?”

Cameron looked at him in surprise and tried to keep calm. “Ah, yeah, I guess I would,” he said, starting to smile. “But you haven’t ordered yet, except for the wine.”

Julian’s smile was slow and crooked, giving his normally serious face a mischievous light. “Check, please,” he requested.

Both Cameron’s eyebrows rose, and then he nodded. “Yes, sir,” he replied before leaving the table to do just what Julian proposed.

Cameron arrived back at the table in fifteen minutes with his coat over one arm and a large, heavy paper sack with handles in his hand.

There was no sign of a check. “Ready to go?” he asked.

Julian stood gracefully, buttoning his jacket as he did so. He took up his coat and scarf and draped them over his arm. “Ready,” he murmured with a smile.

Cameron led the way to the foyer, where he set down the bag long enough to pull on his coat and scarf before they rode down the elevator and walked out onto the cold street. There were only flurries tonight, but snow still covered the sidewalks, and Cameron’s breath came out frosty white. He turned his chin to look at Julian, wondering what would come next.

“Busy weekend,” Julian said to him vaguely. Cameron was uncertain whether it was a question or a statement.

Nodding slowly, Cameron watched the other man as they walked.

After a quiet minute, he said, “I thought about you.”

“Did you, now?” Julian drawled with a pleased smile, his hands in the pockets of his heavy coat and his head down, seemingly watching his steps.

Cameron sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, just answering with a quiet hum.

“I thought about you as well,” Julian admitted freely.

Cameron looked over to him, a happy smile on his face. “Really?”

“Of course,” Julian stated as he looked over at Cameron and smiled. “I have something for you,” he added as he reached into his coat pocket.

Stopping in front of a holiday window display that cast multicolored light on the white-coated walkway, Cameron frowned slightly. “What is it? Christmas was last week.”

“Yes, and I felt badly for having nothing for you,” Julian reminded him as he reached into his pocket and withdrew a small box. It was wrapped in plain gold paper. He handed it to Cameron and smiled at him. “Please don’t feel obligated to accept.”

Cameron looked at the little box amazement. “Do you... do you want me to open it now?”

“As you like,” Julian answered with a lopsided shrug.

Cameron blinked at the gold paper for a moment before holding out the heavy bag to Julian so he could have both hands free. Without a word, Julian took it while he watched Cameron’s face intently.

Turning the box over in his hands, Cameron chanced another look at Julian before running a finger under the seam of the paper to unwrap the box. It came off in no time. Julian smiled, but he looked unsure as Cameron opened the box. Intrigued by Julian’s uncertainty, he pulled the top off and peered inside the box.

Inside was a flat disc of battered gold with a single garnet in the center melded to a chain so it could be worn around the neck.

Cameron stared at the glinting gold, highlighted by a flash of deep, dark red, before he glanced up at Julian with wide eyes. “This is like yours,” he said, a smile curving his lips as he dipped a finger into the box to touch the pendant. He remembered dragging his fingers over it and the feel of body-warmed metal sliding over his chest as Julian moved against him.

“It was mine,” Julian told him with a smile. “One of a kind. Now it’s yours, if you’ll have it.”

Looking up in surprise, Cameron searched Julian’s face for some clue about the meaning of the gift. Julian obviously wasn’t the type who needed to recycle things as gifts to save money, so the necklace must have some sort of significance. Cameron stroked the gold again.

“Is it important to you?” he asked.

“It has meaning,” Julian answered. “And it’s important in that I want you to have it.”

Cameron nodded slowly. “Thank you,” he said solemnly. “I’d like to put it on, but I think my fingers are already frozen,” he said with a shiver. “I guess I ought to get some gloves.”

“Don’t be silly; it’s only Chicago in winter,” Julian scoffed sarcastically as he set the bag down. “Why would you need gloves when you can have frostbite?” he asked logically, smiling slightly as he reached out to take the pendant. He unhooked the clasp and stepped closer, sliding his arms around Cameron’s neck slowly and fastening it before letting the pendant fall a few inches below the hollow of his throat. He tilted his head as he looked into Cameron’s eyes. “It’s called a warrior’s cross. The garnet and the gold symbolize the Roman god Mars,” he explained quietly. “The god of war.”

“God of war,” Cameron repeated slowly. “Like the one I’m supposed to ask Blake about?”

“The very same,” Julian assured him. “The thinking is it gives you strength and protection.”

Cameron held still as the cool metal settled against his skin inside the collar of his shirt, and he lifted his free hand to touch it. “Do I need protection?” he asked softly, not looking away.

Julian’s eyes flickered briefly. “I know I would if I lived with your four savage beasts,” he finally answered just before kissing Cameron chastely on the very corner of his mouth.

Unable to hold back the smile, Cameron lifted his chin to accept the kiss, and he wished it had lasted longer. “Thank you for the gift,” he murmured while Julian’s lips were still close.

“You’re most welcome,” Julian whispered in response before taking a step back.

After a few moments, Cameron realized they were standing there silently, staring at each other in the cold. “C’mon,” he said, sliding the box and paper into his coat pocket. “We don’t want dinner to get cold.”

“No; that would be tragic,” Julian murmured in earnest.

“Yes, it would. Now, come on.” Cameron grabbed Julian’s hand and started pulling him along the sidewalk at a faster clip.

Julian just barely managed to snag the bag of food he’d set down before Cameron yanked him along. “Is there a reason we’re expending unnecessary energy?” he asked.

“You’ll get plenty back with all this food,” Cameron promised as they turned the last corner heading to his apartment building. “And I’ve got dessert too.”

“Oh, yeah?” Julian drawled. “What’d you get?”

Cameron stopped in front of his building’s door. “It’s not in the bag,” he said, eyes dancing.

Julian let his eyes rake over Cameron from head to toe and back again, and he raised an eyebrow in interest. “I’m listening,” he assured him intently.

Cameron bit his bottom lip again and his cheeks flushed from more than just the cold. “You should be watching,” he said as he used the key card to open the door so they could enter the building.

“I’m fascinated,” Julian admitted in an amused voice. “And wondering whether I should be as turned on as I am right now.”

Reaching out to grab Julian’s arm and pull him inside, Cameron said, “Oh, I certainly think so.”

Julian growled softly, and the look in his eyes turned slightly predatory as he was pulled along. They clattered up the stairs and stopped at Cameron’s door long enough for him to get it open and pull Julian inside. He shut the door quickly before the snowball parade could sneak out.

“Little angels,” Julian murmured to them as they came thundering toward the door. He extracted four tiny puppy treats from his pocket and tossed them with a flick of his wrist. The stampede of puppies immediately veered away as they charged the treats, and Cameron fell back against the door laughing.

“Never met a dog I couldn’t distract,” Julian murmured with a self-satisfied smirk.

Cameron grinned and pulled off his coat, hanging it on the hooks beside the door. Julian had planned to be here tonight, or soon, since he had those treats in his pocket. That simple act reassured Cameron a lot.

“Give me your coat so we won’t have to lint roller it this time.”

“I enjoyed the last lint roller experience,” Julian argued as he shrugged out of his coat.

Cameron wrinkled his nose as he took Julian’s coat and hung it up. “Enjoyed it?”

Julian reached out and snagged him by his shirt-front, pulling him closer with a slow smile. Without the coat, Cameron only wore the black trousers and the pressed, button-down black shirt, open at the collar. The top of the gold amulet peeked out, glinting a bit in the light as Julian’s fingers gripped the material.

“Anything that gets you on your knees is an enjoyable experience,” Julian murmured.

Blue eyes widened as Cameron let himself be maneuvered. “Me on my knees?” he echoed, licking his lower lip as Julian’s voice deepened. “In front of you?” he added, looking up at the taller man.

“You were,” Julian confirmed with a nod and something like a low purr. He pulled Cameron closer and kissed him gently.

After the soft kiss, Cameron leaned back a bit to study Julian’s face. “You liked that, hmm? I certainly liked seeing you on your knees.”

“I would be lying if I tried to be a gentleman and said I didn’t enjoy either experience immensely,” Julian drawled.

Cameron hummed softly and laid his forehead against Julian’s cheek as he pressed their bodies close together. “I don’t want a gentleman. I’d rather have you,” he murmured.

Julian barked a laugh and turned his head to kiss Cameron’s cheek sloppily. “Well, that’s a relief.”

Cameron chuckled and wiped at his cheek with the back of his hand. “How about some dinner? I slaved over it all day,” he joked as he stepped back and picked up the bag.

“Sounds fabulous,” Julian answered cheekily.

Rolling his eyes, Cameron led the way to the kitchen. He started unloading the bag, pulling out all sorts of little boxes and a taller one that held a bottle of wine. Julian stepped up behind him as he worked and slowly slid his arms around him, watching over his shoulder.

Cameron sighed and relaxed back against Julian’s chest, savoring the feeling of it. “Doesn’t feel like we’ve only known each other for a week,” he said.

“It doesn’t,” Julian agreed as he rested his chin on Cameron’s shoulder.

Cameron hummed contentedly, then crossed his arms and laid his hands over Julian’s as he closed his eyes to enjoy the feel of him so close. “I was hoping you’d be there tonight.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it,” Julian assured him in a whisper.

Cameron unconsciously stroked the back of Julian’s hand. “But you could have,” Cameron murmured. “You chose to come back.”

Julian closed his eyes and let his lips drift slowly over the warm skin of Cameron’s neck. “Yes,” he affirmed softly.

Cameron sighed as his eyes slid closed. “To... me?”

“I think we established that the food’s not that good.”

Cameron grinned and shifted to the side so he could turn his head, tip it back, and kiss Julian longingly. Julian’s hand came up to hold the side of his face as his other arm wrapped around him, preventing him from turning around all the way. The kiss grew hungrier as he trapped Cameron against him.

“I say we just skip to dessert,” Julian growled finally.

Cameron licked the dampness off his lower lip. “The customer’s always right,” he agreed, his voice husky.

“Damn straight,” Julian growled as his arm tightened around Cameron. He pushed him slightly until he was pressed against the counter.

Hands falling to curl against the rounded edge of the countertop, Cameron arched back against the hard, warm body behind him as his belly pressed against the Formica. “Julian,” he breathed.

Julian hummed in response as he kissed behind Cameron’s ear and began to make his way slowly to his neck. His other hand came up and pulled Cameron’s shirt out of the way to reveal the chain of the gold necklace and more skin for him to nip at. Cameron’s fingers clawed up his shirt to unbutton it so Julian could pull the collar further open, and he hummed in approval when he felt the edge of Julian’s teeth. Julian growled softly in response to the sounds and pressed himself against Cameron, making the smaller man moan raggedly.

Julian grinned and backed away slowly, gently urging Cameron to turn around in his arms. Cameron did, setting his hands on Julian’s chest and sliding them up and down, humming in pleasure as his fingers slid over hard muscles and soft material. He felt dazed when he looked up, and he bit his abused lower lip. “I like... to touch,” Cameron murmured thoughtlessly, cheeks flushing.

“Well, lucky me,” Julian murmured with a smile.

Cameron blinked. “I mean... not just sex. Sometimes more than sex. Or without sex,” he rambled. Despite the embarrassment of what he was saying, he was determined to say it. Cameron wanted to know now if he needed to curb his natural tendencies in order to keep Julian coming back.

“You say this as if I may have a problem with it,” Julian responded in confusion.

“I... some men don’t like... to be petted. It’s not manly, I guess.” Cameron shrugged slightly.

Julian raised an eyebrow and slid his hands deliberately up Cameron’s arms. “You think I’m not manly?” he teased.

Cameron’s eyes widened in panic, and his mind raced to come up with an answer. Julian laughed softly and placed his hands on either side of Cameron’s face, grinning widely.

Cameron sulked. “You’re making fun of me.”

“No, I’m not,” Julian soothed as he pulled Cameron closer.

Cameron laid his forehead against Julian’s cheek. “Now,” Julian sighed contentedly. “Tell me about dessert.”

Cameron chuckled. “I was talking about me,” he admitted.

“I know,” Julian crooned. He pushed Cameron away and held him by his shoulders, tilting his head sideways to study him up and down.

“It’ll do,” he finally announced as he wrapped his arm around Cameron’s chest and pulled him against him. Julian dragged him out of the kitchen and into the living room, narrowly avoiding the white swarm at their feet.

Cameron laughed aloud and clung to him. “But I’m hungry!” he sort-of-protested. “I’ve not eaten since three o’clock!”

“You should really learn to plan better,” Julian chastised as he stopped pulling and released him with a sniff.

“Uh-huh. When was the last time you ate? You worked today, didn’t you?”

“Maybe,” Julian answered carefully, pursing his lips and tilting his head in thought. “I ate lunch.”

Cameron crossed his arms. “Told you that you needed taking care of.”

“You were right,” Julian conceded obediently with a bowed head.

“You remember that. It doesn’t happen often,” Cameron warned.

He pushed himself onto his toes to kiss Julian’s forehead, wondering again exactly what it was Julian did. He suspected now that it had something to do with the police or private detective work, but either Julian couldn’t tell him or didn’t want to scare him. Both of which Cameron could appreciate, but it didn’t assuage the curiosity—or the concern. At least now he was fairly certain Julian wasn’t a male escort or something more sinister.

Cameron pointed to the bedroom. “Go start a fire and pull the quilts onto the floor. We’ll have a gourmet picnic, how about?”

“You don’t want to watch the ball drop?” Julian asked with a raised eyebrow.

Surprised, Cameron looked over to the clock at the desk. One minute until midnight. “I forgot,” he said. “But I’d rather watch you,” he added frankly. Julian didn’t seem to mind him being blunt and forward. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it.

“You’d rather watch me drop?” Julian teased as he reached out and snagged Cameron by his shirt again.

“It’s a gorgeous sight, you on your knees,” Cameron said, his voice going a little hoarse.

Julian gave a quirk of his eyebrow and his lips twitched slightly. “I find myself fascinated by you,” he admitted in a low voice as he stood in front of Cameron.

“ I fascinate you ?” Cameron asked incredulously. “I thought it was the other way around.” He opened his mouth to say something more, but the clock he kept on the mantel next to the bedroom began chiming softly. “It’s midnight,” he stated needlessly.

Julian glanced toward the bedroom and then back at Cameron wordlessly so that their eyes locked on each other. Long seconds went by as the clock chimed. He stepped closer fluidly as the clock rang twelve and slid his arms around Cameron’s waist. “Happy New Year,” he offered quietly.

“Happy New Year,” Cameron responded, wrapping his arms around Julian’s neck and pressing their mouths together again.

Julian returned the kiss, keeping it gentle. “I was always told that whatever you did on New Year’s Day, you were going to do all year,” he whispered to Cameron when they parted.

Cameron gazed up at him. He wondered again if this were just a dream, because it had been a dream come true so far. “So what are you doing today?” he asked hesitantly.

Julian smiled widely. It made him look five years younger and not nearly as serious. “You,” he answered mischievously.

Cameron couldn’t help but grin in response. “You’ve got twenty-three hours and fifty-nine minutes.”

“You really want dinner that badly?” Julian rasped.

“I’ll eat tomorrow,” Cameron assured him. “Maybe you can fix me breakfast.”

“Oh, love, you don’t want me to cook!” Julian laughed. “You pack that food up,” he added in a more serious voice. “We’ll eat after dessert.”

Cameron warmed at hearing the endearment, and his body flushed at the thought of what was to come. “All right. Be right there.” He moved over to the bar and started packing the boxes back into the bag, well aware that Julian watched him for a moment before turning on his heel and heading for the bedroom.

After refilling the bag and stashing it in the refrigerator, Cameron gathered up the puppies, petting each of them a little before putting them in the playpen with some toys. When he finally turned to the bedroom, his heart was thrumming. He knew he shouldn’t be nervous after the couple of nights they’d spent together the week before, but he couldn’t help the feelings Julian caused in him. He didn’t really want to.

All year, Julian had said. Cameron walked over and stopped between the screens, watching Julian fuss with the covers of the bed and wondering how this would turn out. He wasn’t sure he believed in happy endings, no matter how much of a prince Julian seemed to be.

He figured his heart would be broken no matter what happened. But seeing the man before him, his lover, he also knew it would be worth it.

As he watched, Julian seemed to sense his presence and he turned to look at him. For the first time, Cameron didn’t blush under his intense gaze. “I could get used to this,” he murmured as they looked at each other.

“Good,” Julian returned bluntly as he let his eyes drift over Cameron’s body in frank appraisal.

Cameron straightened his shirt and felt the necklace move against his skin. He lifted a hand to touch the gold disc, and his fingers stroked along the edge. Julian watched the movement, his black eyes flashing with a sudden concentrated interest. He moved suddenly, swooping in on Cameron and pulling him off his feet and against his chest.

A soft sigh was Cameron’s answer as he set a hand on each of Julian’s shoulders. He turned his chin to kiss Julian’s temple. “Do you like seeing me wear it?”

“I do,” Julian whispered as he allowed Cameron to slide down his body to place his feet on the floor. Cameron reached for one of Julian’s hands and lifted it to press long fingers to the pendant. Julian’s eyes met Cameron’s as he let the gold sit against his fingertips. They were dark and unreadable.

Cameron kept his eyes trained on Julian’s, though it was difficult.

He wasn’t one for being so forward, and this was everything he had always avoided, this singular focus Julian seemed to have. He’d always imagined finding someone comfortable and easygoing, much like himself. Julian was a totally new type of lover: intense, dramatic, and highly unpredictable.

He moved Julian’s hand slightly, dragging it across his sternum and throat, and then he sighed soundlessly. Julian’s grip tightened around Cameron’s neck, and he lunged forward and kissed him hungrily.

Gasping, Cameron grabbed hold of Julian’s shoulders to keep from pitching backward. He moaned as their lips met; he could almost feel Julian’s desire as a tangible thing, a thing that Cameron evoked. He shivered all over. Julian pushed him back hard, pinning him to the wall beside the bathroom door with the weight of his body, holding him by his throat.

A soft cry tore out of Cameron as his back hit the wall; his eyes widened as he lifted one hand to cover Julian’s at his throat and the other to grip at Julian’s side. Then he realized he could still breathe with no problem. Groaning, Cameron shifted his hips against Julian’s weight, trying to get some friction even though he was unsteady on his tiptoes, caught in Julian’s arms. He’d already been hard just from the anticipation of the coming rendezvous; now he was almost painfully so.

The aggression from Julian hit a hot button Cameron hadn’t known he possessed.

Julian pushed away from him with one last growl and let his fingers around Cameron’s throat loosen slowly. He was breathing hard as he looked down at Cameron. “I’m sorry,” he panted.

Breathing brokenly, Cameron didn’t think. He reached out to catch the hand that had been at his throat, and he grasped Julian’s arm.

“Don’t . . . don’t go,” he rasped.

Julian licked his lips as he looked at him uncertainly. Cameron wavered between giving in and letting him move away and asking him again to continue. “Julian. I want you. And if that’s part of you,” he said with a gesture to his throat, “that’s what I want. You didn’t hurt me, and you’re not gonna break me!”

Julian lowered his head with a pained wince and shook it once.

“You shouldn’t see that part yet,” he told Cameron as he took a deep, calming breath.

It was one thing to be cared for and protected. It was another to be denied without an explanation, and after his willingness to accept and go along with anything Julian threw at him, it was frustrating to be turned down. Cameron grunted and pushed at Julian’s chest as hard as he could. Julian stumbled back and watched Cameron with a slightly wounded expression.

“Don’t give me that look,” Cameron complained. “What do you mean, ‘yet’? I realize you’re a very private man, Julian. You don’t share a lot about yourself. But how do you know you’re not exactly what I want?”

Julian stared at him, dumbstruck.

Cameron cocked his head, getting more upset as the other man didn’t answer. “Julian?” he asked plaintively.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Julian answered.

“You won’t,” Cameron said firmly. “Not on purpose. Or are we back to you thinking I shouldn’t trust you?” He rubbed his throat unconsciously. He could still feel Julian’s hand there. He wanted it there again; he wanted to feel possessed, knowing Julian wanted him that much.

The wounded look flitted across Julian’s eyes again. Cameron flinched and dropped his eyes, unable to keep eye contact any longer.

He’d tried. Cameron sighed and shifted away from the wall.

Julian’s hand shot out and grabbed him before he could move.

“Don’t,” he whispered. Cameron swallowed and stopped moving, but he didn’t look up. “I don’t want to scare you,” Julian told him calmly.

Forcing himself to look up, Cameron nodded slowly. “I understand,” he said. “But I wasn’t scared.”

“Yet,” Julian corrected quietly, but he didn’t look away. “I’m sorry,” he offered.

Cameron sighed. Julian had contradicted him again. He closed his arms around himself. “Me too,” he said. “I guess I shouldn’t have pushed.”

“It’s okay to push,” Julian said softly. Then his lips quirked into a smile, and he gave Cameron’s shoulder a shove.

Cameron flailed as his back hit the wall again, and he looked up in surprise to see a mischievous light back in Julian’s black eyes. “You could try the patience of a saint, you know that?” he claimed in annoyance.

“But it’s worth it,” Julian purred as he moved closer and pressed himself against Cameron once more, gently this time. “Thank you for letting me come back,” he whispered into Cameron’s ear.

Cameron opened his mouth to say the same in return, but realized he’d already said it more than once. So instead he nodded once, meeting Julian’s eyes as the man pulled away from him.

“Would you care for dessert?” Julian asked him, holding out his hand to escort Cameron to the bed.

When Cameron slid his hand into Julian’s, he knew this was only the beginning of what was sure to be a hell of a roller-coaster ride.