Chapter 19
I’d screamed. Vomited. Hyperventilated until I almost passed out.
Now, I laid curled up in a ball facing the wall, my cheeks still stained with tears, though the flow had stopped hours ago.
If Lili wasn’t dead yet, she would be soon. Kenric has her.
My mind kept repeating that phrase over and over.
And there’s nothing you can do about it.
If I had enough liquid in me, I’d cry enough to drown myself just to get away from the pain.
What would life even be without her?
“Prudence?” a soft voice sounded from behind me. I forced myself to sit up and face him. Hannan gasped when our eyes met. No doubt my eyes were a spiderweb of red and white, my cheeks pink and puffy.
“What’s going on?” he asked, crouching down to meet my eye level. “I thought you told me your sister got away?”
I did tell him when he’d brought me food last night. Hannan was the only person here who still liked me. Or at least talked to me without sneering.
I closed my eyes hard but to no avail. The tears squeezed out from under my eyelids, taking the now familiar path down my cheeks to collect at my neck.
The door to the cell creaked open, and I felt the bed shift from his weight. Then he put his arm around me. Without thinking, I curled into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably.
“They have her,” I choked between hiccupping sobs. “Hannan, the Defender who brought me to the prison—”
I couldn’t get the words out.
“How do you know?” he asked before his hand curled around my arm, gently twisting it so the symbol on it was visible to him. “Ah—”
We didn’t speak for a long time. As my sobs turned silent, the birds started to sing.
“Won’t Verena wonder why it’s taking you so long to bring me breakfast?” I asked, an unnatural laugh escaping my lips.
He shrugged. “She can bite my buns, then.” My heart clenched at his words, though they would’ve normally made me laugh.
“Everyone hates me now, don’t they?” I asked, hating how pathetic I sounded.
“It’s still only me, Daegal, and Verena who knows,” he said. “And no. I certainly don’t.”
I sat up straight, shaking his comforting arm off me as if I just now realized I didn’t deserve it.
“You should.”
“Your parents loved you more than anything. They would have done exactly what you did if it would keep you safe,” he said thickly, and I looked up to see his watery eyes already looking at me. “If it was up to me, you wouldn’t be in here.” He gestured around the cell. “But Verena…”
“She wants me punished,” I sighed, raking a hand over my face.
“Well… She’s very determined. When she was younger, her life was much different than it is now. She had a family. A husband and two small children. She came home one day and found the house eerily silent.
“The three people she loved most in the world laid dead in the living room. The place right over their heart, burnt like they’d been struck—”
“By light,” I interrupted when those same memories of my father appeared before me. “That’s how my father was killed, too.”
Hannan gave a sad nod. “That’s why she’s like this. Nothing will stand between her and victory.”
My head cleared, and a rush of adrenaline shot through me. Her focus wouldn’t be on me. It could take her days to notice I was gone. I had to save my family.
I stood up so quickly that Hannan jolted, holding a hand over his heart.
“Prue, what in the—”
“You have to let me out, Hannan!” I shouted. “I still have time to save her. Just let me go.”
His face saddened. “Well…” he trailed off, standing up and crouching slightly so he wouldn’t hit his head on the low ceiling.
I searched his devastated eyes for clues. “What?"
He shook his head, starting towards the door. “I can’t, Prue. I can’t let you out yet.”
I felt my heart hammering faster. “She’ll die, Hannan! Your old friends’ daughter. How can you let that happen?”
He walked to the corner and pulled a few thick notebooks from the bag that he’d brought along with my breakfast and a jug of water. “Here,” he said, handing the books to me.
“What is this?” I asked, studying the worn leather. It was clear from the look on his face that he was done with this discussion.
“Your father’s old notebooks. He tried to figure out how to break that curse for years. Maybe there’s something in there.” He gave a small smile. “I would go bonkers if I had to stay in here all day with nothing to do.”
“Thank you,” I said rather coldly, laying a hand on the notebooks.
He nodded at me, then left the cell, locking it behind him. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”
My hands trembled as I flipped to the first page of one of the notebooks. To say the notes were tidy would be a lie. Research, observations, ideas. All poured out in a mess of ink on the pages.
I jolted when I saw my own name written in scruffy letters across a page.
Prudence is starting to show signs
We couldn’t find her for 20 minutes until Elaila looked in a corner. Oh, she was snickering her little heart out, pulling the shadows close to her to tease us. She's starting to resemble her mother in her youth a little too much, from what she’s told me
I couldn’t have been that old when he wrote this. The once-black ink had faded to a dusty gray, and the letters had started to bleed clumsily together.
The next few weeks went by in a slow blur. I felt like a slug as I laid on the ragged bed, reading my father’s notes. They were hard to decipher at first, but the more I read, the more I understood what his jumbled sentences and inserted doodles meant.
I’d read the same words on the same pages over and over again. Thank the Goddess for Hannan; I would’ve lost my mind without those notebooks.
I’d also managed a feeble shield. It was impossible to practice illusion magic without an opponent.
My father had found out something vital to breaking the curse.
Must be broken same place it was cast
It was a tale as old as the war that the curse had been cast in the highest tower in the castle, performed by King Sol and his Queen.
That information was a step closer to breaking the curse and freeing the mooncasters from being marked forever.
I’d also practiced manipulating water with the jug I was provided. At least Verena hadn’t decided to starve or dehydrate me to death. Yet. I’d managed to swirl it around lightly, creating tiny waves.
I hadn’t spoken to anyone but Hannan for weeks. Felicity had neared the cell, an uncertain expression plastered on her face. Like she wanted to come talk to me but thought better of it. That was almost a week ago.
Hannan arrived to take me to use the restroom and bathe, as he’d done every day since I was captured.
“We have to go to the strategy room, too,” he informed me. I shrugged. Verena probably wanted to see if she would squeeze some last-minute information out of me before their suicide mission.
“They’re leaving today,” Hannan said, eyeing me concernedly. My stomach dropped.
I knew they would. Verena hadn’t been subtle about her haste to add to the Rebellion’s numbers. Hannan had told me a few days ago that she’d sent word to every rebel she knew of, urging them to join the base to prepare for battle.
“Who’s going?” I asked, though I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. A part of me already knew Felix would be going. The possibility that I’d already seen him for the last time twisted my stomach into knots.
“Most of the hunters. Felix, Felicity, Jax, Daegal…” he trailed off. “They’re going to be at least 100 rebels. It’s a big group. They’ll make it.” He spoke with such finality in his words that I almost didn’t want to correct him. Almost.
“Hannan, they’re all going to die.” I grabbed his arm to stop him from walking, to make him understand the severity of the situation.
If anybody could change Verena’s mind, it would be him.
“I’ve been there. The place is crawling with guards.
Jax and the rest of the mooncasters won’t even be able to use their magic in there. ”
“We know. He’s going to help from the outside.”
“That isn’t enough. Hannan, please don’t do this.”
No matter what I said, they’d think I was exaggerating to stop them from going. To save my sister. But I didn’t have to exaggerate. I knew they’d all end up dead if they went through with this mission.
“Sorry, Prudence,” Hannan said and continued down the path toward my old hut. It stood vacant for now, but I was sure someone would occupy it soon enough.
Verena had confiscated my things, and I didn’t know where she kept them. The book was probably still hidden under my mattress.
“Prue!” A voice called from behind me. I froze in place. The moment I’d dreaded since I got caught unfolded in my mind.
The moment Felix would tell me how much he despised me when he found out I’d tricked them. Tricked him.
He moved into my vision, his face furrowed in deep concern. “Where have you been?”
I struggled to hold his gaze. My eyes kept drifting to his stubbled chin, the neck of his shirt, anything that wasn’t those deep blue eyes watching me with a pity I didn’t deserve.
“Felix—”
His eyes flickered from me to Hannan, face paler than ever. “So it’s true what they’re saying about her?” He asked with a voice that seemed like ice compared to his usually warm tone.
“It’s not that simple,” said Hannan. Even after all I’d done, he was still protecting me. Still, Felix’s face soured as he looked back at me.
I had seen it coming, knew I deserved it, and yet it still left a stinging pain in my heart.
“I’ll explain everything if you let me,” I said in a small voice. He only shook his head and walked away.
“I thought you and I were friends. I trusted you!” he spat over his shoulder, his eyes glossy with tears. “But all you did was use me.”
Before I could respond, he hurried off, not granting me a second look.
I wiped my wet cheeks with my sleeve but continued walking. “Nobody knows, huh?” I gave a pathetic laugh, walking towards the hut to bathe.
When I returned, I saw the group assemble near the forest exit. They stood strong in numbers at the base, but it was nothing compared to the guards at Orken. If only they’d listen…
The group distributed the supplies between them and stocked the two-wheeled carts with supplies, then started towards the river.
I looked in confusion. “How are they going to cross the river?” I thought back to the tiny rowboat we’d crossed the river in the first time, imagining the one hundred of them piled unceremoniously on top of each other.
Hannan nodded. “They’re taking a bigger one to cross the river. They thought about taking our ship to avoid having to cross that much desert, but Verena thinks the risk of being spotted is too great.”
We walked towards the strategy room in silence as I mulled over his words.
My body still shook from my encounter with Felix. Soon, every single rebel would feel about me the way he did.
As we entered the building, only Verena and Daegal were in the room. They waited quietly for us by the large table laden with maps and scribbles.
Daegal paced the room, strapped in weapons and leathers for their mission. Verena sat on a chair at the end of the table, her arms folded tightly over her chest.
“There’s been a change of plans regarding our arrangement,” Verena said coldly. My eyes darted from her to Daegal. He was already looking at me, a tense expression on his face. I noticed the chains in his clenched hand. My mind reeled. Would they punish me now? Kill me?
“Prudence,” Verena said, returning my attention to her as she got up from her chair and gestured for Daegal to seize me. “You’re going on the mission with them.”