Chapter 47
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
And so it proved to be. Brian was whisked away in super-fast time and Dr Mac, Lily, Dylan and Frankie were shown into a stuffy family waiting room with four chairs covered in a dismal faux leather and a little box of tissues on a coffee table.
‘Doesn’t exactly inspire confidence, does it?’ said Dylan as they sat down.
Lily let out a long breath.
‘It’s okay, Mum,’ said Frankie. ‘He’ll be okay.’
Lily smiled tightly then turned to Dylan. ‘I can’t thank you enough.’
Dylan gave a dismissive wave of his hand. ‘Honestly, it was nothing.’
‘Well, it’s not nothing to me,’ said Lily, sincerely.
Frankie nudged Dylan with her knee. ‘She’s right,’ said Frankie, almost a little shyly. ‘You were amazing. And you, Doctor,’ she said, turning to him.
Dr Mac mirrored Dylan’s dismissive gesture. ‘It was nothing.’ He gave her a weak smile, then he looked at Dylan. ‘But they’re right. This will have made all the difference, I’m sure.’
Lily and Frankie turned two sets of hopeful eyes on him, and the doctor coughed and hastily backtracked a step or two. ‘I mean, he’s been given the best chance at least,’ he said. ‘If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll just go and call my wife, I haven’t had a chance to tell her where I am.’
‘You’ve got quite a story,’ said Frankie.
She glanced at Dylan, offering him as much of a smile as she could muster and Dylan seemed to relax, as if he’d been on edge, waiting to receive it.
Waiting for a sign she was okay. He smiled back at her and, despite everything, her heart did a little flip. God, she was so glad he was here.
This time, Lily raised her eyebrows.
‘Something you two need to tell me?’ she said, sounding a little more normal.
It was Dylan’s turn to cough awkwardly. ‘Er…’ he stuttered. ‘I’ll go and get some coffees, shall I?’ He disappeared out of the room before they could respond.
‘They just don’t want to be in this horrible little room,’ said Frankie with an attempt at a laugh. She moved next to her mother, and they held each other’s hands, sitting in silence for a few moments.
‘Oh, Mum. That was so awful,’ said Frankie eventually.
‘I thought he was a goner,’ said Lily in a faraway voice.
‘So you two do love each other.’ The words were out of Frankie’s mouth before she could stop them.
Lily looked at her for a second. ‘Whatever does that mean?’
Frankie broke eye contact first. ‘Well, I just mean you’re always going on about other men and stuff, you know. Your past with this glamorous boyfriend or that one. And you’re not exactly shy around boys on the island, either.’
What am I doing?
But Lily seemed to take her words to heart. ‘I do do that, don’t I?’ she said thoughtfully. ‘Your poor dad must think I’m such a hussy.’
‘We all do, Mum,’ said Frankie, but her attempt at humour sounded hollow. ‘I don’t mean that, sorry. I just mean, I thought you were sort of a bit proud of that fact.’
Lily shook her head. ‘Not proud, exactly. No.’
‘So, what then?’ pushed Frankie, glad of a way to keep her mum distracted at least.
‘Your father and I were talking about this last night, as it goes,’ said Lily, and it was Frankie’s turn to blink.
‘You were?’
‘Yes. In fact, he called me out on it, the same way you just did. Isn’t that odd?’
It’s been a long time coming, thought Frankie. Out loud, she murmured her assent.
‘The thing is,’ her mum went on, ‘I think it comes back to your brother.’
‘What do you mean?’ said Frankie. ‘How?’
‘Since he left. I’ve been… so sad. A bit empty, maybe.’
Frankie’s heart twisted. ‘You’ve never told us that, Mum.’
‘We never talked about it,’ said Lily. ‘Your father and me, I mean. We swallowed it down. Stamped on it. The pain of that day, finding him gone. My God. When you have kids, you’ll know what I mean. The sheer panic. The hurt. Bobby broke my heart. I don’t think I ever got over it.’
‘I’m so sorry, Mum,’ said Frankie softly. Her mind was racing. This explained so much.
‘It’s not your fault. None of it is your fault,’ said Lily with feeling.
‘Still… my stupid brother.’
‘I know. It wasn’t his fault either, not really.
He was only sixteen. He felt cooped up, I get it.
We thought we were giving him a good life but he felt trapped.
We just hadn’t seen it.’ Lily gave a bitter laugh.
‘We fucked up. Parents do, you know. We’re all just trying to do our best. And I guess we both compensated in different ways.
Your father coped, if you can call it that, by throwing himself into the island, getting involved in everything, almost to the point of exhaustion. ’ Her mouth twisted.
‘And me?’ she went on. ‘I didn’t cope at all.
Or at least, the only way I could get through each day was by, I don’t know, pretending I was someone else.
My younger self, I suppose. Living in the past instead of the present.
Regretting all the opportunities I missed in the past instead of appreciating what I have.
’ A sob escaped her lips. ‘And now I might lose it all.’
Frankie put an arm around her shoulders, still finding it strange to be so tactile with her mother. She wondered vaguely if Lily found it strange, too. It must have been normal, once. ‘We’re not going to lose him,’ she said, more confidently than she felt.
Lily’s eyes were full of tears. ‘God, I hope not,’ she said, taking a few shuddering breaths. ‘Despite appearances, I’m actually quite fond of the old git.’
‘Well, you did save his life.’
‘I tried.’ In her eyes flashed a spark of hope. And then something else. Something… naughtier. ‘Now, speaking of being fond of things, exactly when did you and Dylan start doing it?’
Frankie’s face was on fire. ‘I’m sorry, what?’
‘You heard me,’ said her mother. And perhaps it was the fact that Lily sounded like her old self again, despite the tear stains and mascara lines down her cheeks that no one dared to mention, this was a glimpse of the mother Frankie had always known. What else could she do but lean in?
‘We’re not,’ said Frankie, but she allowed a tiny spark of possibility in her tone.
‘Bullshit,’ said Lily. ‘That look he just gave you was positively indecent. Oh my God, my daughter is dating a rock star. The girls are going to die when I tell them.’ She put a hand over her mouth.
‘Very poor choice of words there. Sorry, darling,’ she whispered in the general direction of the door. ‘Please get better.’
Frankie nodded solemnly, then almost guffawed when her mum turned back to her.
‘Details. Now. Please. I need distracting.’ Her eyes were shining, pleading.
Not for the first time, or even the one millionth time, they were back to Frankie being the grown up. It was much more comfortable all round.
‘No details. It’s very, very early days.’
‘Boo,’ said Lily, crossing her arms.
‘But he did kiss me,’ said Frankie quickly. There. She’d said it out loud.
‘I knew it. When, where, how?’
‘At Puffin Bay. This morning. On the bench.’ Was it actually only that morning?
Lily whistled. ‘Ooh, romantic. And…? How was he?’
‘Mother!’
‘Come on. Please? I need this right now. My husband’s having a heart attack.’
Frankie winced. ‘Dammit. That’s pretty much the trump card, eh? Well, my dad’s having a heart attack, so there.’
‘Checkmate,’ said her mum with a grim smile. ‘See how we make jokes.’
‘Yeah, look at us having fun, pretending we don’t smell the vomit or bleach on these chairs,’ said Frankie.
‘Living the dream,’ said Lily.
In that moment, Frankie’s heart was full of love for her mother.
She couldn’t explain it, nor could she remember the last time she’d felt that way.
But suddenly it was clear to her. Lily wasn’t evil or uncaring.
She was funny and sweet and she’d carried pain with her for so long, it had shaped her whole personality. Bloody Bobby had a lot to answer for.
‘Mum…?’ said Frankie, impulsively.
‘What is it, Franks?’
What had she been going to say? She didn’t even know. She just wanted to say… something.
‘I like calling you Mum,’ she said.
It wasn’t much, but Lily smiled a real, genuine smile, and threw her arms around Frankie. ‘I love to hear it,’ she said into her daughter’s ear. ‘Please never stop calling me Mum.’
‘I won’t. Love you, Mum.’
‘Love you, Pickle.’
‘Am I interrupting?’ came a deep voice from the doorway.
Dylan was standing there, holding a cardboard tray of coffees in what looked like proper takeaway cups.
‘Come in, Dylan,’ said Lily, releasing Frankie from the hug at last. ‘My daughter was just telling me all about how you guys snogged in Puffin Bay.’
Dylan let out a laugh that made Frankie’s toes curl.
‘Are people still saying “snogged”?’ he said, not remotely bothered, apparently, by the comment.
‘I am,’ said Lily, eyebrows still raised.
‘Is that real coffee?’ said Frankie, leaping to her feet.
Dylan was watching her with amusement. ‘It is, indeed. Proper beans and everything.’
‘Wow. Ambassador, you’re really spoiling us,’ quipped Frankie, but she couldn’t meet his gaze. She grabbed the nearest coffee and curled up on one of the chairs, the fake leather creaking beneath her.
Dylan eased himself into the chair beside her, coffee in hand, stretching out his long legs. She got a waft of his smoky aftershave and it calmed her, somehow. She could breathe more easily when he was near her. It was that simple.
‘Any news?’ he said, glancing at Lily.
She shook her head, helping herself to a cup of coffee, wrapping her hands around it like a lifeline. Which, in a way, it was. ‘Nothing yet.’
‘Sorry,’ said Dylan.
‘Don’t be. I’d rather not know, especially if it’s…’
‘Don’t, Mum,’ said Frankie quickly. ‘It’s going to be okay.’
Lily nodded, sipping her coffee.
‘I got biscuits, too,’ said Dylan, proudly producing a selection of brightly coloured packets.
‘You legend,’ said Frankie.
They munched in silence for a few moments. Then, ‘So… you told your mum, eh?’ said Dylan, giving Frankie a sideways glance.
But it was Lily who replied. ‘Actually, you came back before I got any juicy details, unfortunately. If you’d care to expand, I’m all ears. Like I told Frankie, I need the distraction.’
Dylan laughed. ‘I appreciate the need for distraction, but unfortunately a gentleman never kisses and tells.’
‘Is that a thing? I’m not sure that’s a thing,’ said Lily.
‘Gentleman?’ said Frankie with a snort.
‘Hey,’ said Dylan. ‘I’ll have you know I’ve never told the press anything about my love life.’
Lily practically screamed. ‘Don’t tell me it’s not true about you and Lindsey or I’ll die.’
The corners of his mouth twitched. ‘Been googling me, have you, Mrs Jacks?’
It was Lily’s turn to blush but she styled it out. ‘Of course. Anyone with designs on my daughter gets verified and checked thoroughly.’
Frankie coughed. ‘I am right here, you know.’ She turned to Dylan. ‘So it’s not true about Lindsey?’ she said, unable to stop herself from asking.
He shook his head. ‘It’s not true. Nothing you read in the papers is true, surely you know that by now.’
‘We’re bumpkin hermits, remember,’ said Frankie, her heart racing at the news. Somehow it seemed important.
‘Hardly,’ said Dylan with a suggestive wink.
If only he knew the truth, she thought, cringing at how much of a bumpkin she actually was.
‘Ha,’ said her mother, a little sharply. ‘Frankie has never even had a boyfriend.’ Lily looked from one to the other, at their shocked faces. ‘Ah. And I can see she’s never actually told you that.’
Hatred. Frankie had loved her mother for about three seconds, and now she was back to hatred.
‘Mum, why would you say that out loud, for God’s sake?’
Lily shrugged. ‘It’s the truth,’ she said innocently.
Dylan hadn’t spoken or moved a muscle.
Frankie turned to him, wincing. ‘You okay?’ she said cautiously. Her heart thrummed in her chest. If he knew how inexperienced she actually was, what would he think? What would he do? Would this be the shortest relationship in history?
‘I…’ Dylan started to say, but stopped as Dr Mac and a hospital doctor opened the door gently, their faces serious.
‘Here we go,’ said Lily, standing, tears already flowing again.