Chapter 7
SEVEN
ANNIE
What the hell. No, actually, WHAT THE FUCK!
Annie blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of the onslaught of new information.
Max’s friend Jack was Jack Norwich. The same Jack Norwich who, even now as an adult, was always hanging around her parents’ house, eating all the good snacks with her brother.
This was Jack Norwich. Her brother’s best friend, Jack Norwich. Her brother’s boyfriend? Her brother?
Her chest rose and fell rhythmically in sync with the deep, calming breaths she was forcing herself to take. “What’s going on?” she asked, never taking her eyes off Andrew.
“Shit,” Jack mummered, panic still on his features.
Max looked from Jack and Andrew in the doorway to where Annie stood beside her. “Okay, yeah, I’m going to need an explanation too.”
Her brother shot a glance at Jack, a silent conversation playing out in a nanosecond before he looked to Annie. “You and I should probably talk,” Andrew said to her, reaching around Jack then stepping out onto the front step, his jacket in hand.
“Come on in, Max; the Dillinger siblings need some time to catch up. We’ve got wine calling our name.” Jack gingerly stepped aside, creating a space for Max to pass through the door.
Max glanced back, mouthing You good? Annie nodded, watching Max turn and climb the steps into the townhouse. Jack waved, closing the door behind them, leaving Annie and Andrew standing in the cold.
“Wanna go for a walk?” Andrew’s tone was eerily calm as he slid his jacket over his broad shoulders then retrieved a knitted Seattle Seahawks hat from his pocket, sliding it low over his ears.
Impulse fired before common sense kicked in as Annie swung her fist forward, connecting with Andrew’s bicep. “What the hell, Andrew?” She reached out with both her hands, shoving him. “Seriously, what the hell?”
Andrew grinned at her, stepping forward and pulling her into a bear hug she struggled against. But this hug wasn’t like any other hug she had ever received from her older brother.
No, the pressure of this one calmed her immediately.
Instantly quelling her desire to wiggle free—she loathed hugs, and he knew that.
“I’m so relieved you finally know this part of me,” he said softly into her hair, a deep sigh leaving his body in a way that made Annie feel the toll that the weight of keeping this secret had taken on him.
“What the fuck,” she muttered into his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his waist. She squeezed tightly, unable to come up with any other words to say.
“Let’s walk.” Andrew shifted away from her, shoving his hands into his pockets, their footsteps falling in sync as they moved down the sidewalk past the line of out-of-place industrial box homes.
Annie flicked her hood up, covering her head against the chill of the evening. The temperature had been dropping all day, hovering around freezing. And even better—it smelled like snow.
“Where do you want to start? Questions? Or do you want me to just talk?” Andrew said after a minute.
Annie’s response was near instant: “Questions, obviously!” before she launched into the list of questions that she had been building as soon as that front door had opened.
“Boyfriend? Since when? Why didn’t you tell me—your out and proud lesbian sister—that Jack’s your boyfriend?
You’re going by Drew now? Do mom and dad know?
Austin? Avery? Oh God, am I the last to know?
Boyfriend!?” She punched him in the arm one last time before sliding her hands deep into the pockets of her long peacoat.
“I knew we’d all be in trouble when your first word was a question,” Andrew muttered through the grin currently stretching across his face.
“You haven’t stopped with them since. Okay, answers: Yes.
Jack is my boyfriend.” His smile softened as he said Jack’s name in a way Annie had never heard from him.
“We started dating freshman year of high school. Remember how I used to sneak out? I’d have to walk past your window every time, and you never once told on me.
Well, I was always sneaking off to go see Jack at boarding school. ”
Annie remembered how Andrew’s shadow would move across her bedroom wall followed by his appearance outside her window.
The first time she caught him, he had made her promise never to tell anyone—a promise she had taken very seriously.
She had always liked that he trusted her, even if she didn’t realize what she had actually been trusted with.
But in the present moment, that trust was replaced with disappointment at the realization that her brother no longer felt like she was someone he could safely share his secrets with.
“I’m sorry you never felt like you could share this part of yourself with me.”
Their footsteps crunched along the crushed gravel path Andrew had led them down, one that presumably looped around the neighborhood.
“Does everyone else know but me?” Annie asked quietly, not quite sure if she wanted the answer to that question.
“That’s a hard one to answer.” Andrew sighed again, and Annie couldn’t help the pang of sadness she felt for her brother. “I technically came out to mom and dad when I was fourteen. You would have been what, like nine? Definitely too young to remember. But it, uh, it didn’t go well.”
“What do you mean?” Annie tried to recall what her life had been like when she was around that age, but all she could produce were fuzzy memories at best.
“Do you remember how I had to go to ‘summer school?’”
Annie thought back. “Vaguely.”
“It wasn’t summer school. Mom and Dad made me go to counseling sessions at the church with pastor Hank.”
“Wait,” Annie interjected abruptly. “Like conversion therapy?” she asked, unable to keep a lid on her outrage.
“No, uh, not exactly.” Andrew took a thoughtful pause, gathering his words. “More like a lot of long conversations explaining to me all the ways my life would be harder as a gay person and how accepting that part of myself meant accepting living a life in sin, you know… All the same old bullshit.”
Annie stared at her brother. Because once again, what the fuck. “So what happened?”
“Jack’s parents caught us fooling around at the end of that summer, and we came out to them.
You know how Dave and Kit are—they are literally the nicest people ever.
And I ended up telling them about the counseling sessions.
Next thing I know, Dad was the one taking me to my sessions, but instead we’d pick Jack up and go play a round of golf together.
We still actually all play on the first Saturday of the month. ”
Annie asked her next question cautiously, already having a feeling she knew the answer.
“And what about Mom?” Andrew tilted his head, giving her that look they’d exchanged countless times throughout their life together, the one that said, You know how Mom is.
Annie pivoted. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?
You know, especially since I’m also gay?
And, like, not ’cause you owe me a coming out or anything but just, like, out of curiosity? ”
“Mom and Dad asked me not to,” he said quietly.
“And yes, that is as fucked up as it sounds, but that’s the truth.
They didn’t think you, Avery, and Austin would be able to understand, and you know how they get with things that make them uncomfortable.
They don’t care that it’s going on as long as they don’t have to see it.
So that’s where we landed. I live my life the way I want to and we never talk about it. ”
Annie’s thoughts swirled as she took in Andrew’s words.
None of this made sense. Well, okay, some of it made sense, but also somehow none of it made sense.
“But they weren’t like that to me when I came out,” she said quietly, trying to understand how she and Andrew ended up with such different experiences.
“You didn’t really give them a choice.” He laughed, bumping his shoulder into hers. “God, that was one of the best family dinners. The way you stood up and told Mom to her face how you and Kayla made out, and you liked it. I’ve always been impressed by the confidence you have in yourself.”
“Really?” she asked, pride filling her chest at her brother’s recognition.
“Yes, really. Which is why I made Dad promise me that under no circumstances would they do to you what they did to me. I was already out of the house at that point and had nothing to lose. I didn’t want you to have to go through what I did.”
Annie opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again, trying to find the words to acknowledge Andrew’s reveal. “You did that for me?” she said softly.
They stopped, their route having brought them full circle back to Jack’s front door.
“You’re my little sister, Annie. I’ll always protect you.”
Annie threw her arms around her brother’s neck, holding him close as he lifted her off her feet, twirling her body side to side until she was laughing.
“Stop, stop,” she gasped as Andrew set her back down.
“Wow, okay. A lot of new information to take in tonight.” She tucked the wisps of hair that had slipped free from under her hood behind her ear as she looked up at her brother.
“So, Drew… That’s what you’re going by now? ”
“I hate being Andrew Dillinger, junior.” There was, rightfully, a bite to her brother’s words, and she understood why. She had watched, over the years, the pressure her parents placed on her older siblings while quietly thanking God it wasn’t her.
“I don’t blame you one bit.” She looped her arm through her brother’s, the two of them ascending the steps to the front door.