Track Twenty-Five
Couple Months Later
The Beautiful Chaos Tour was coming to an end.
The girls were emotional, tour was a lot of work, practice and energy but definitely one the best times of their lives.
And for Daniela she just wants to celebrate with you and the girls.
But where were you? In New York. Malcolm's tour was just getting started, and you were busy.
Were you distant? Yes but not on purpose.
You were serious when you said you loved her.
You meant it when you said you would improve with your communication and put in more of an effort.
You meant it when you told yourself, you wouldn't let your mind get to you so much.
So what was the issue then? You were busy, simple as that.
Not to be an excuse but you were, and Dani could see that.
She also see you were communicating with her.
You guys had nights where you just talked about anything.
How past relationships just didn't go well for you, always ending with you feeling like you would never be enough.
Daniela knew this though. She could tell just from how you acted at the start of your.
.. I guess situation ship. Neither one of you knew where you were gonna go now, you would think it would turn into a relationship but it didn't feel right yet.
Between now you going on tour and you still having to improve, no not yet.
Still... Daniela was trying. She tried not to overthink when your replies got shorter some nights.
Tried not to let it bother her when you accidentally fall asleep during FaceTime again, phone still on your chest while studio lights glowed dim in the background.
She would just stare at your sleeping face for a second before hanging up quietly.
It was small things. Little things. But little things start to build up when you miss someone enough.
Tonight the girls were all over the place backstage.
Final show nerves mixed with emotions. Makeup artists moving around quickly, stylists yelling over music, Sophia nearly crying because Lara started crying first.
"Please don't start that shit right now," Megan groans while fixing her lashes in the mirror.
Daniela laughs softly at the chaos, sitting curled up in the couch chair with her phone in her hand. No new message. She tells herself not to care.
You had rehearsal today. Then soundcheck. Then afterparty appearances after Malcolm's show tonight. She knew your schedule because you actually told her now. That mattered.
But still...
She wanted you here.
Not through a screen.
Not through "good luck baby."
Actually here.
Her phone buzzes finally.
Y/N:
sorry baby rehearsals ran over bad today
Y/N:
you nervous for tonight?
A smile still finds its way onto her face despite the previous disappointment..
Dani:
a little...
Dani:
wish you were here though
The typing bubble appears immediately. Then it disappears. Appears again. Disappears. Her stomach tightens a little watching it.
Finally:
Y/N:
i know
Y/N:
i wish i was too
She stares at the message longer than she should. It wasn't wrong. It just... wasn't enough.
Manon notices instantly from across the room. Of course she does. "That look again," she says casually while sipping from her water bottle. Daniela looks up. "What look?" "The one where you're pretending you're okay with something." Megan glances over now too. "They're still busy?"
Daniela nods lightly. "Yeah. Malcolm's tour started, so you know now their schedule is even more worse. I miss them so fucking much." "That's rough timing," Sophia murmurs sympathetically. Daniela hates how quickly everyone understands.
"No it's fine," she says quickly. "We're good." And they were. That was the frustrating part. Nothing was technically wrong.
You still called.
Still checked in.
Still said I love you before hanging up.
But sometimes love felt different through a phone.
Especially when someone else physically occupied the space beside you more than she could.
Later that night after the show, adrenaline still buzzing through her body, Daniela sat in the black SUV heading back to the hotel while the girls talked over each other in the seats around her.
Her phone lit up with an Instagram story mention. Malcolm tagged you. Studio clip. You in the background laughing while Malcolm yelled lyrics horribly off-key. You looked happy.
Relaxed.
Present.
Daniela watched it twice before locking her phone. Her chest tightened immediately after...she hadn't seen that version of you all day.
"Dani?"
She looks up.
"You okay?" Lara asks softly.
Daniela nods automatically. "Yeah."
But as she looks back out the car window, city lights blurring past, she realizes something uncomfortable. She missed you. And lately? Missing you was starting to feel lonelier than it used to. The hotel room feels too quiet after that.
The girls eventually disappear into their own rooms, exhausted from the final show. Bags half-packed everywhere. Makeup wipes thrown across counters. Someone's speaker still playing low music through the wall.
Daniela sits cross-legged in the middle of her bed, staring at the ceiling.
Her phone rests beside her. No new texts yet.
She hates that she notices. Not because you owed her constant attention.
You didn't. That wasn't fair. She knew your life didn't stop just because she missed you more on some days.
But lately she was starting to feel your absence more than your effort. And that scared her. Her phone buzzes suddenly.
You.
Her chest softens immediately despite herself.
Y/N:
you survive superstar?
She smiles faintly.
Dani:
barely :(
Dani:
Sophia cried so everybody cried
Y/N:
sounds about right honestly
Y/N:
im proud of you though
She reads that twice.
Then again.
Dani:
thank you baby
A minute passes.
Then another.
She watches the typing bubble appear.
Disappear.
Then finally:
Y/N:
wish i could've seen it
That one hurts for some reason.
Not because you said anything wrong. Because she wished you saw it too. The girls holding hands, the crowd screaming. Her looking out into thousands of people and still somehow thinking about you.
Daniela leans back against the headboard.
Dani:
i know you're busy
The message sends before she fully thinks about it.
Your typing bubble appears instantly.
Y/N:
what's that supposed to mean
Her stomach tightens.
See?
This is what she didn't want.
Dani:
nothing bad
Dani:
just saying i know you are
Long pause.
Y/N:
you mad at me?
She closes her eyes briefly.
No.
Not mad.
Just tired.
Tired of feeling understanding all the time.
Dani:
no baby
Dani:
i just miss you
That response takes longer.
Long enough for her chest to tighten a little.
Y/N:
i miss you too
Y/N:
shit just hectic right now
And she believes you. That's the problem. If you were an dick this would be easier. But you weren't. You were trying.
Trying while being exhausted, while touring. Trying while balancing everyone needing something from you. Daniela understood that. But her understanding didn't always stop it from hurting.
A FaceTime request suddenly pops up. She answers immediately.
Your face appears blurry at first, headphones around your neck, studio lights dim behind you. You look tired.
Really tired. But your face softens when you see her.
"There she is," you murmur.
"There you are," she replies quietly.
For a second neither of you says anything.
You just look at each other.
"I'm sorry I missed the show," you say first. That catches her off guard. "You don't have to apologize." "I wanted to be there." "I know."
You rub your hand over your face, leaning back in your chair. "This tour schedule has been kicking my ass," you admit.
She smiles faintly. "Mine's too apparently." A small silence settles. More comfortable than earlier. Then voices sound in the background near you.
Madison's laugh.
Daniela recognizes it instantly now. She joined you guys on tour for the first couple nights tryna help you guys out, tonight being the last one before she leaves
"Y/N, are you staying or leaving?" Madison asks somewhere off camera. You turn your head slightly. "Five minutes."
"Okayyyy don't take another hour." Daniela tries not to react. Really.
She knows Madison's your friend. Knows she's around because of work. Knows you would never intentionally disrespect her. But hearing another woman exist so naturally in your space while she's states away?
It does something physically to her chest. Your attention comes back to the screen immediately.
"Sorry."
"It's okay," she says quickly.
Too quickly. You study her face for a second squinting your eyes.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Dani."
She hates how easily you read her now.
"It's stupid."
"Tell me anyway."
She hesitates.
Then sighs softly.
"I just miss being around you normally."
Your expression shifts immediately.
"Baby."
"No no," she interrupts gently. "I'm not accusing you of anything. I know she's your friend."
You lean forward slightly now. "But?"
She looks down briefly before answering. "But lately everybody else gets the version of you that feels present."
Silence.
Heavy.
Not angry.
Just honest.
You stare at her through the screen. And for once? It seems you don't immediately know what to say. That hurts more than if you defended yourself.
Daniela notices your pause instantly and hates that she does.
"I didn't mean it like that," she says softly, already pulling back.
"No," you say quietly. "You did."
Your jaw tightens slightly.
"Fuck."
She watches you think again. That familiar silence. Only this time it doesn't feel like fear like usual. It feels like a realization for you.
"I didn't know it felt like that for you," you admit.
Daniela's chest tightens. Because neither did she until she said it out loud. The hotel room feels too quiet after that. She's nervous about where this conversation may go. Good or bad?
You didn't know it felt like that for her. And that sits heavy with you immediately. But not in a defensive or angry way.
But guilty.
Daniela can tell. She can always tell.
She sees it in the way your shoulders drop slightly. The way your fingers stop tapping against the desk. The way your eyes stop drifting around the studio and finally settle completely on her.
"I'm sorry," you say quietly.
And she believes you mean it. But she also realizes something else. Sorry doesn't magically fix loneliness.
She curls further into the hotel bed, pulling one of the pillows into her lap. "I know you're trying," she says softly.
"I am."
"I know."
There's another pause. Not sharp. Just sad in a way neither of you expected tonight to become.
You lean back in your chair, staring at the ceiling for a second before looking at her again.
"I don't want you feeling second place in my life."
"You don't make me feel second place," she says quickly.
Your eyebrow lifts slightly.
"Dani." She exhales softly.
"Okay maybe sometimes recently...a little." That one lands hard.
Because she says it so gently. Like she's trying not to hurt you while admitting it.
You look away from the screen briefly.
"Fuck. I want you to feel like a priority, not anything else."
"I shouldn't have said anything."
"No," you say immediately. "Don't do that."
Her eyes flick back to yours.
"I asked you to tell me when something was wrong."
"You also had a long ass day," she says softly. "I didn't wanna make this into a thing."
"It already is a thing if you're sitting there feeling alone."
Silence. That word hangs between both of you. Alone.
Your chest tightens hearing it attached to her.
Especially because deep down?
You understand why.
You've been physically present for everybody lately except her.
Malcolm.
Studio sessions.
Meetings.
Madison is constantly around because of rehearsals and mutual friends.
Meanwhile Daniela gets tired versions of you.
Distracted versions.
Late night calls where you're half asleep.
And somehow she still stayed patient.
You rub your jaw slowly.
"I think...I got too comfortable with the fact you understood me."
Her expression softens immediately at that honesty.
"That's not a bad thing."
"It is when I start expecting you to just deal with things hurting." Her throat tightens a little.
You continue before she can stop you.
"You've been adjusting around me since the start. Around my overthinking. When I shut down. Around my schedule." Your eyes meet hers again. "And I don't think I noticed how much space you've been giving me."
Daniela doesn't answer right away.
Because the truth is?
She has been.
She's been trying so hard not to pressure you that somewhere along the line she stopped asking for things entirely.
"I didn't wanna become overwhelming," she admits quietly.
Your face changes instantly.
"Baby..."
"I know how your head works," she says softly. "And I know if I start sounding too needy you pull back."
That hurts to hear out loud. Because it's true. Or at least... it used to be. You lean closer toward the camera slightly.
"I don't want you scared to need me."
"I'm not scared to need you," she says.
"I'm scared of feeling dumb for it."
Your chest physically aches at that. Because suddenly you understand every "it's okay" she's been giving you lately.
Every quick smile.
Every "don't worry about it."
Every time she swallowed disappointment before you even noticed it existed.
And the worst part?
She wasn't trying to manipulate you with it.
She was genuinely trying to protect what you both had. You let out a slow breath.
"Come to New York after tour ends." Her brows lift slightly. "What?"
"Come stay with me for a little." Your voice softens. "Not a night. Not between schedules. Actually stay." Daniela studies your face carefully.
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
You pause briefly.
"I think we keep trying to survive each other and stepping on egg shells fearing sometginhs gonna go left instead of actually being together."
That one hits her immediately.
Because that's exactly what this has felt like lately surviving a misunderstanding that hadn't even happened yet.
Not just... living inside the relationship.
Her expression softens completely now.
"I'd like that."
You nod slowly. And for the first time all night? The tension in your shoulders eases slightly. Then Madison's voice sounds again somewhere in the background.
"Y/N if you don't leave right now we're literally abandoning you." Daniela watches your face carefully this time.
Waiting. You glance behind you briefly before looking right back at her. "Give me two minutes."
Not distracted.
Not rushed.
Present.
It's small.
But she notices.
And somehow?
That almost means more than the invitation itself.