Chapter 18 James
James
Chapter 18
“She just passed out,” I say, throwing up my hands. “I’ve already explained this like fourteen times. I have no idea what happened.”
“And you didn’t do anything to her?”
“No, I didn’t do anything to her!”
“All right, everyone needs to chill,” Kenji says, biting into a carrot stick. He offers me the bag and I reach for a carrot, muttering thanks when he says, “Obviously James didn’t do anything to this girl, because if he had any idea what he was doing he would’ve killed her days ago.”
“Hey—”
“Look,” Kenji says, crunching. “I love you, you know I love you, and props for coming home mostly in one piece, but you literally shaved years off our lives. We thought you were dead.” He chews for another second, then: “Honestly, if we weren’t over the moon to have you home right now, I’d beat the shit out of you.”
“I second that,” says Adam.
Kenji reaches for another carrot, then nods at Adam. “The snack game gets stronger every day, man. A little peanut butter, too? In its own little container?” He takes another bite. “Did you cut these carrots yourself?”
“Yeah, and I’ve got apple slices, too,” says Adam, rifling through the backpack at his feet. “Roman decided he’s only eating apples this week.”
“Wasn’t he only eating bananas last week?” asks Winston, intercepting the bag of apple slices.
“Yeah, but—”
“ Hey ,” I say, sitting forward. “Why’d you call for a meeting if you’re not even going to talk to me?”
“I didn’t call this meeting,” says Kenji. “Warner did. And we’re ten minutes early, so technically the meeting hasn’t started yet. This is snack time.”
“Yeah,” says Winston around a bite of apple. “This is snack time. We work hard for snack time.”
I sigh. “Do you know where he is?”
“Who? Warner?” Kenji crunches. Shrugs. “Probably thinking up the best way to kill you without J finding out.”
“How’s she doing, by the way?” I sink back in my seat. “I haven’t seen her yet.”
“She’s okay. Slight improvement. She wanted to visit you in recovery, but the doctor says she shouldn’t be exposed to idiots. They think it might be contagious.”
I throw my carrot stick at his head. “Don’t be a dick,” I say. “I’m genuinely worried about her.”
“If you were genuinely worried about her,” says Winston, “you wouldn’t have disappeared like that. We were planning your memorial.”
“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry? I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I’ve apologized a million times.”
“You weren’t here,” says Kenji. “You don’t know what it was like. Even when we got the call to come get you yesterday, people had a hard time. People were really overwhelmed. People cried.”
“You cried,” says Winston. “I didn’t cry.”
“I said people cried—”
“Hey, have you seen Warner yet?” Adam asks, turning to face me.
“Yeah.” I tense a little at the memory. “Only for a second, though. He came to see me in recovery.”
“Did he say anything?” Adam asks.
“No. He just stared at me from the doorway.”
Adam and Winston share a glance.
“What?” I say.
Kenji swallows the last of his carrot, then looks into the empty bag. “Yeah, um, you should know,” he says, raising an eyebrow at me. “Warner is mad mad. If he actually tried to kill you I wouldn’t even blame him. J cried for like twelve hours straight. Inconsolable. That man damn near lost his mind— Oh ,” he says to Adam, “hey, do you have any more of those gummy bears?”
I drag my hands down my face, exhaling through my nose.
Adam tosses a small package to Kenji, a blur of color arcing across the room. Kenji catches it easily, turning the packet over in his hands before ripping it open.
The rustling plastic and synthetic fruit scents instantly transport me to another moment. Heightened feeling snakes through my body, thrills of fear and excitement. I realize then that I’ll never be able to look at gummy bears without remembering Rosabelle.
“Does anyone know if she’s awake yet?” I ask.
“Who? Gigi? She’s five, bro, she doesn’t really nap anymore—”
“Not Gigi,” I say, fighting a wave of irritation. “Rosabelle.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Winston nods. He’s still working on his bag of apple slices. “I mean, I don’t know about awake , exactly, but she’s been stable for a few hours. Consciousness comes and goes.”
“A few hours?” I stiffen. “A few hours and no one thought to tell me?”
Adam laughs. “I don’t think people are going to tell you much of anything anymore. Warner’s already removed a bunch of your security clearances. She’s officially no longer your concern.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“ Hey ,” says Kenji, pointing a gummy bear at my face. “Language. You know Grandpa Winston is a delicate flower. Profanity wilts his petals.”
Winston looks up sharply. “Call me grandpa one more time, asshole, I dare you—”
“Can you guys be serious for a second? Please?” I straighten, stressed out. “How the hell is this fair? I actually went to Ark Island and came back alive with intel, and I’m being punished for it—”
“James. Look.” Kenji shakes more gummy bears into his palm, chooses two red ones, and pops them in his mouth. “I don’t think you understand,” he says, chewing. “This is, by far, one of the stupidest, most dangerous things you’ve ever done in your entire life. The fact that you went into the Ark without clearance is bad enough. But you go all the way to Fascist Town and what? You bring home a souvenir?”
“She wasn’t part of the original plan—”
“I’m not sure you had an original plan,” Winston mutters.
“Ouch,” says Adam, laughing.
My jaw tenses. “When she offered to help me get off the island I figured I’d take advantage of her help—and get rid of her as soon as she became inconvenient. I was being smart about it.”
Kenji shakes his head. “Nope. She became inconvenient the minute she slit your throat.”
“Look.” I lean forward, elbows on my knees. “I wasn’t sure whether she was, like, legitimately running from The Reestablishment. It’s not hard to believe that some people on the island are there against their will, right? They’re not allowed to leave without authorization. And there was enough evidence to indicate that she might’ve been in actual danger. I watched a soldier bash her in the head while they carted her sister off to an asylum—”
“Did you actually see her sister carted off to an asylum?” asks Adam. “Or did she just tell you that’s what happened?”
I blow out a breath, choosing not to answer this.
“The Reestablishment is tricky,” says Kenji, carefully choosing another gummy bear. “You don’t know what kind of nonsense they might’ve orchestrated in order to make you believe this girl might be innocent. And I really hate to break it to you, but based on everything you’ve told us about your time there, it sounds like they laid a trap for you, and you walked right into it. You brought this girl directly into the heart of things here, and we have no idea who she is.”
“I was trying to figure that out,” I say, pushing my hands through my hair. “She literally collapsed. I thought she might be dying.” I sigh. “I didn’t heal her. I didn’t help her any more than I absolutely had to. I just figured keeping her alive for interrogation might be useful. Don’t I get any credit for that? What else was I supposed to do?”
“Could’ve pushed her into the ocean,” Winston says calmly, biting into another apple slice.
Kenji nods at that, then counts on his fingers: “Could’ve pushed her into the ocean; could’ve stabbed her in the throat; could’ve never accepted help from the enemy in the first place —”
“I didn’t have enough evidence to kill her,” I nearly shout. “She wasn’t armed; she’d clearly suffered abuse; she might’ve had a legitimate case for seeking asylum. Besides, what kind of assassin faints in the middle of a mission?”
“A smart one,” says Kenji, grabbing the backpack. He starts searching through it. “Why are there so many wet wipes in here? Where are those little crackers that look like fish?”
“At least he came home,” Adam says, coming to my defense. (“Check the side pocket,” he says to Kenji.) “No one’s ever gone into the Ark and come home, right? That’s worth something.”
“Objection,” says Kenji. “That’s like if a kid sets the house on fire for fun, burns it to the ground for fun, but manages to get out alive. We’re happy the child is alive but we’re still angry with the child.”
“I am not a child,” I say darkly.
Kenji turns to look at me. “You are a child. You proved that you were a child when you went on an unauthorized recon mission and came home seeking medical attention for the mercenary who killed you. Seriously. James. I love you. I’d die for you. I’d cut off my arm for you right now if you needed it. But what the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Listen, I know I messed up—I realize now that I shouldn’t have brought her back here—it’s just—I don’t know, there’s something different about her. I really think there’s something different about her and if you give me some time to figure it out, I think she could be a really important resource for us—”
Kenji rolls his eyes so hard it’s practically a sentence.
“What?” I demand. “Why is that so hard to believe?”
“No, you’re right,” says Winston, snaking the bag out of Kenji’s hands. “We’ve all seen the girl, and there’s definitely something different about her.” He meets my eyes. “She’s beautiful. Really beautiful. Ethereal, looks-like-a-painting kind of beautiful—”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“ Oh shit,” says Winston, reaching into the bag. He beams at Adam. “You got the good juice boxes this time.”
“Are there bad juice boxes?” Kenji grabs the bag back from Winston. “I love all juice boxes equally.”
“Look—that’s not what I meant—”
“Alia did a grocery run yesterday,” says Adam, ignoring me. “I told her you like the fruit punch flavor—”
“ Hey ,” I say, frustrated. No one is looking at me. No one is listening to me. God, this is exactly the kind of garbage that pushed me off the edge to begin with.
No one takes me seriously.
“Yes, okay, she’s beautiful,” I say, admitting this on an exhale. “She’s really beautiful. But that’s not why I brought her back here. I’m not that stupid—”
“Bro.” Kenji pops the straw into his juice box. “Literally no one believes that.”
“It’s true!”
Kenji shrugs. “Whatever you say, little man.” He’s smiling now, his eyes alive with barely suppressed laughter. “Either way, Warner is going to fuck you up.”
“But I didn’t—”
Adam glances at his watch. “Hey, I’ve gotta pick up Roman soon. Do you think he’s running late?”
“Warner’s never late,” the rest of us say together.
Just then, the door opens.