17. Wrinley
Wrinley
“ I know this was a hard decision for you and it’s not really what you want to be doing, dear.
” Dad gives me a sympathetic shoulder tap.
It’s not what I want. The problem is, I don’t really know what that is.
“But I’m glad you’re here, nonetheless. If it helps, I had this office cleaned out for you. You know, to sweeten the pot.”
“Thanks, Dad. I appreciate it.”
I know he means well, but with these baby poop colored, paneled walls that look like they came straight from the seventies, I’m not sure if anything could actually sweeten this particular pot.
It’s not that I’m not grateful. This just isn’t where I saw my life going all those years ago, when Arabella and I put together silly scrapbooks attempting to manifest our best lives, one cutout at a time.
Not that I’d expect to find any teen heartthrobs at a family owned accounting firm in the Chicago suburbs.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have a choice in this matter. The money that mom left me won’t sustain me much longer and I couldn’t put this off anymore. It’s not like I even know what else I’d want to do.
Planting my ass in my new fancy swivel chair, I assess my bare office and wonder how mad dad would be if I made some changes in here.
My phone rings in my purse. Grabbing it, I see my best friend's face and a warmth fills my chest. I miss that face. The last time I actually saw her in person, our sleepover was ruined by her caveman daddy hauling her out in her underwear. That was partly my fault, but I don’t regret it.
She needed the push and I was happy to give it to her.
“Hey, Wrin. How’s the new job?” Ari asks, sounding extra bright and chipper this morning. Sounds like someone is finally getting dicked down by Ryker.
Must be nice.
“What exactly would be nice?” Wait, did I say that out loud? That’s new.
“Um. Work is… fine,” I deadpan. “I’d literally rather be anywhere but here, but you sound like things are going good with Daddy Prime. I take it he finally gave you the business.”
“Wrinley Anne Jaymes.” Okay, she’s pulling out the big guns. “Stop deflecting. What’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?”
If only she knew how much I’m not telling her and how bad I feel about it. How do I tell my best friend I’m still a virgin when all I do is talk about dick like it’s my favorite thing on the planet?
You just tell her .
Great. Now I’m talking to myself.
Deciding I need to look her in the eyes for this, I switch over to video.
“Oh shit, look at those walls,” she winces. “They look like someone literally took a shit on them. How is that even possible? And is that… paneling ?”
“Yeah, it’s pretty bad. I’m going to ask Dad if I can decorate. And by decorate, I mean paint every surface or at least strip that paneling off.”
“It needs something, but I’m honestly surprised you’re there at all. You never wanted to work with your dad. What changed?”
“I’m almost out of fucking money. That’s what happened.” I’ll spare her the part where I blew a big chunk to go to her man’s club and ended up with her big brother’s dick down my throat.
“Fuck, that’s rough. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. It is what it is. I’ll work here and appease dad’s worried heart until I figure out what I want to do.”
“If you need help figuring it out, let me know. I hear you can make bank selling photos of your feet.” Gross. I don’t have many lines or sexual limits, but feet are one of them. My body shudders and I have to fight off the urge to dry heave at the thought of touching them in any sexual capacity.
“I will not be selling pics of my feet for money.”
“Okay, but don’t knock it till you try it. Never know what you might like.”
“Is that so? You send a lot of thirsty feet pics to that man of yours?”
“He’s not mine … not really. I don’t know. And no. We do plenty of other stuff, just not that. I would try it though, I think,” she admits, her face twisting into something resembling curiosity. “But can we please get back to you and what we were talking about before? Spill.”
“Fine, since I know you aren’t going to let this go. I need to tell you something.”
“Shit. Sounds ominous.”
“Will you shut up?” I demand. “You wanted me to talk. Now let me talk.”
She raises both her hands in defeat then motions like she’s zipping and locking her lips, then waves me to continue.
“There’s no easy way to say this, Ari… but… I’m… a… virgin.” The last word comes out as a squeak, like it didn’t really want to be spoken, but as soon as I say the words, I do feel a weight lift.
Ari stares blankly through the small rectangular screen, blinking a few times and I can’t be sure if she’s forming a response in her head or if she’s glitched. Have I glitched my best friend? Fuck, if I did, I’ll surely kill her when she finds out about Axel and me.
“Wrin,” she says softly. “I know.”
Damn, now I’m the one that’s glitching. “What do you mean, you know?”
“The words aren’t all that complicated, you know. Honestly, I’m surprised it’s taken you this long to tell me. Why did it take you so long?”
“How did you know?”
“No, no, no. You first.”
“I don’t know that I have a good answer aside from embarrassment or shame.
You went crazy the second you got out of your house and fucked everyone you came across and I promised my parents I wouldn’t have sex until I was of age.
I never really intended to keep it from you, it just kind of happened, until all of a sudden, years have passed and it still hasn’t happened. Not for lack of trying, though.”
“So you’re actively trying to not be a virgin?” she asks quizzically.
“Ari, I’ve been aggressively trying to not be a virgin since I turned eighteen.
It’s like I’m fucking cursed or something.
Dates get set up and they always, without fail, either ghost me mid-date or cancel before we can even get to the date.
” My pulse races faster and faster with each reminder that none of them ever work out.
“Wait, like none of them?”
“Zip. Zero.” I cross my arms and raise a brow, daring her to question that little fun fact.
“Let me try.” She leans in to get closer to the camera. “Let me see if I can find someone to set you up with. If it’s you, then I should have no problem getting you a date, right?”
“Will you make sure he has a big dick, please?” I beg.
“Ryker will not allow me to check, but I’ll see what I can do,” she promises. “But Wrin… I need you to know… I don’t and never have cared that you’re a virgin. I love you as you are.”
“I know you do. But how did you know?”
“You’re my wild best friend and you give the world this crazy, funny, bigger than life version of you, but you’re more than all that. But also, you always talked about it, but never once told me about you experiencing it. I guess I just put two and two together.”
“Wrinley,” dad calls from the hallway. “Can I see you for a moment?”
“I’ve gotta go do some adulting. Talk soon?”
“Tonight?” she asks with pleading eyes and prayer hands. “I’ll even come pick you up.”
“I can’t tonight. Dad is driving me. I asked him to take me to the pharmacy to pick up new birth control pills and he agreed as long as I promised to let him cook me dinner. Really, I think he just used it as an excuse to squeeze me for an extra this week.”
“Why new pills? Have your periods gotten bad again?”
“No. It’s the same pills. I just misplaced mine somewhere, but thankfully the pharmacy said they can do one emergency refill for a lost prescription.”
“I guess I’ll get to work on finding you a boneable date with a big weiner then instead.”
I fall backward into my chair, wheezing a laugh at my best friend. “You did not just say weiner. Is Daddy’s old age rubbing off on you?”
“I so did. Love you, byeeeeeee.”
She hangs up and my stomach flips at the thought of trying to get laid again.
Then my thoughts drift to Axel and how adamant he was that I come to him for any of my needs.
He’s so infuriating. But I refuse to indulge in his psycho, possessive bullshit.
He doesn’t own me. He doesn’t get to control me.
If he were here, I’d tell him to his face, because fuck him. I do what I want.