30. Mattie
CHAPTER THIRTY
mattie
T he televisions in the bar provide a constant noise that allows my mind to tune out as I wipe down the bar top. My hand drags the towel in circles across the surface that never gets completely clean. Ripp was tight-lipped this morning. Unspoken words about whatever he discovered last night fill my stomach with dread as my mind goes through every horrible possibility.
“Darlin’, I think that spot is good,” Wiley says softly. “You don’t want to rub it away.” I startle, looking up at him. I hadn’t even noticed he’d come in.
“Sorry, Wiley. Just a lot on my mind, I guess.” I shrug my shoulders and move on to taking stock of the liquor bottles on the shelves behind me.
“Ah, sometimes we just gotta water the garden instead of pullin’ the weeds.” I wait for him to move on, but he stays in place, observing me. “You know, I remember when you first came in here. Eyes wider than a screech owl,” he laughs before leaning against the bar. “I could tell ya needed a place to belong. Most of us ‘round here come from nuthin’ and end with nuthin’.”
I pause my movements, unsure where he’s going with this speech. “Not much has changed,” I sigh. He taps his fingers on the bar top, and I shift uncomfortably.
“Don’t let those weeds distract you from everythin’ else you’re growin’.” He lets a few seconds pass and then heads through the door to the back. My heart sinks. If only he knew what all was festering inside me. I lean my head against a bare spot on the wall and let out a loud exhale. Customers will be coming in soon, Tally too, and I need to get my shit together.
I finish up the last few opening tasks just before Tally’s bubbly ass bursts through the back door. She’s already carrying on about something her husband did, or hasn’t done, in this case, but I don’t catch all the details. “You’re so lucky you’re seeing that sheriff,” she exclaims. My throat tightens. “A little old for ya, sure, but he’s a looker.” And dead. “Decent paycheck. Will keep ya safe.” And very dead. My face falls into a frown, and it cuts Tally’s words short. “Oh no, sugar. Y’all break up?”
Her face scrunches, afraid she’s just opened a wound. In a way, she has, I suppose. “I don’t want to talk about it,” I say, hoping she’ll drop it. She bounds across the few steps between us and rubs my arms.
“Oh Mattie, we’ll find you another one. He probably wasn’t even that great. Bad in bed?” She nods her head knowingly and gives me a mischievous grin.
“Something like that,” I laugh, looking around me for any way to escape this conversation before it gets any more awkward. “Can we just not mention that it was ever a thing? To anyone? Ever?” I can almost hear Ripp snarl in the recesses of my mind, but I push the feeling away.
“Sure thing, sugar,” Tally chirps and goes to her end of the bar. She hums to herself as she lays out all her glassware in the order she likes. I go to my end and do the same, but my throat remains tight as I try to swallow against the pressure.
The bell above the door rings, and my stomach almost plummets out of my ass as two sheriff’s deputies walk through the door. Fuck. They can’t be here just to enjoy a day off. Their uniforms are slightly disheveled, and the bottoms of their pants are crusted with mud. The expressions on their faces are grim but steel as their eyes lock on me. Double fuck.
They take two seats on my side of the bar, and I can feel Tally staring a hole through my back. I clear my throat and head to them, tucking the towel in my back pocket. “What can I get ya?” I force out. They both turn to each other before facing toward me again. The one on the left raises two fingers.
“We’ll take two drafts,” Lefty says then points back and forth between him and his partner. I force a smile, even though I’m rolling my eyes on the inside that he felt the need to clarify it was for the both of them. I sidestep to the taps, pouring the beer as slowly as possible before sliding them down to the deputies. I try to step away, but one of them calls to me.
“You Mattie Gibson?” Righty asks. I freeze but make sure my smile is still plastered on before turning back around.
“That depends on who’s asking.” I wink. Maybe that was overkill. Their faces remain stone. “Yeah, that’s me.” Their eyes light up, sending panic racing through my veins. I just need to breathe. They don’t know shit, and I need to keep it that way. “How can I help ya?”
“We just have a few questions,” Lefty says, his eyes roaming me. “You know Sheriff Danvers?” My eyes flick over to Tally, who’s trying hard to make it look like she’s busy but is obviously listening to every word.
I nod my head. “I do. He stops in from time to time. What about him?” Tally makes a noise but continues her dramatic preoccupation.
“He didn’t show up to work today,” Righty answers, his lips pulling together in a tight line. He shifts in his seat but takes a sip of his beer and swallows audibly. “Thought you might know sumthin’ about it.”
“Deputy, if I kept tabs on all my customers comin’ and goin’, I wouldn’t have time for much else,” I laugh, hoping like hell it sounds casual—and not guilty as fuck. Tally drops a glass behind me, which crashes to the floor, but luckily, it doesn’t break. I spin to make sure she’s okay, but she’s already picking the glass up and hurrying back to her customers.
“We thought y’all might know each other a lil’ better,” Righty says. His eyebrows raise, waiting for me to offer more. I suck my lips in through my teeth and shake my head.
“He sent us a strange text yesterday. Says you were out in the Hellsmouth woods with ‘em,” Lefty says after sipping loudly from his glass. My heart stutters in my chest before rising to a thunderous pace. My head pounds with each heartbeat. “Kinda odd, dontcha’ think?”
I feel my underarms slick with sweat despite the copious amount of deodorant I used. The room suddenly feels unbearably hot. I tap my lips with one finger and look up at the wooden ceiling. Now would be a great time for the Earth to open up and swallow me whole. I’m already in the handbasket, and I’d appreciate the quick trip down. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Sheriff Danvers outside this bar. I’m not the social type.” Fuck. Why’d I say that?
Lefty pulls out a small notebook from his chest pocket. He scrolls through it slowly, dragging out each agonizing second before stopping on a page. After studying it, he grunts and puts it away. “You spend a lot of time out in the woods?” he finally says, giving me a terse smile.
“Well, I live out there.” Shut the fuck up right now, Mattie Mae. “But I don’t make a habit of wanderin’ around in the woods.”
“I see,” Lefty says. He takes another slow sip, keeping his eyes locked on to mine. The little hairs on the back of my neck rise. This whole interaction is a blaring warning bell ringing in my ears, and I’m desperate for a reason to escape it. “So you didn’t see the sheriff out there in the woods yesterday?”
“No, sir,” I try to say as evenly as my voice will allow. “If y’all don’t have anythin’ else for me, I’d like ta get these other fine folks taken care of.” I gesture broadly at the few people who have sat down since our conversation began.
Righty swigs back his glass, not setting it down until he’s drained it, then belches. He hits his chest once with his fist and smiles at me. “That’ll be all, ma’am,” Righty says, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.
I cringe internally at being called ma’am but grab the empty glass before walking away as quickly as possible. Tally glances at me from down the bar, and I offer her a small smile. I hope it’s reassuring, but the look on her face says it’s anything but.
“We’ll be in touch,” Lefty calls. After draining his glass, they both stand and head back out the door.
Tally rushes over to me, not bothering to set down the drink she was in the middle of pouring. “Mattie, you look greener than a tree frog,” she whispers frantically. The mental picture would be funny if I wasn’t fighting back the bile rising in my throat.
“I’m fine,” I sigh, brushing off her worried hands. “I just wasn’t ready to talk about him yet, is all.”
“Did they say he’s missing? Didn’t y’all just see each other? You think he’s out gettin’ six sheets to the wind somewhere?” Her questions come in rapid fire, and the room starts to spin around me.
“Tally, for all I know, he went to shit and the hogs ate ‘em.” Or he’s dead at the bottom of the lake. “I don’t put much work in keepin’ track of men who disrespect me.” No, I hunt them down and kill them instead.
The rest of the night drags on until I swear it will never end. Finally, the last customer heads out the door, allowing Tally and me to finish closing. She doesn’t bring up the incident with the deputies again. In fact, she’s unusually quiet. Her lack of chattiness, paired with the constant sideways glances throughout the night, leaves a disturbing dread creeping up my spine. At this point, I wish she’d say anything just to put me out of my misery.
As I go to grab my bag hung next to hers, she takes my hand. Her eyes, wide with concern, stare into me like she’s trying to find an answer to a question she doesn’t want to ask. I concentrate on the rise and fall of my chest, waiting for her to say something.
“Mattie, you don’t have ta tell me what’s goin’ on,” she says. Her voice is soft but filled with caution, like she’s trying to soothe a wounded animal. “Just know I won’t think any different of ya. You’re family, and we protect family ‘round here.”
Tears pool in my eyes, and a sob lodges itself in my throat. Tally’s definition of family is not one I’ve ever known. Though I doubt she’d feel the same way if she knew who I really am, the sentiment still strikes me right through the heart.
“Thank—thank you,” I manage to choke out. A single tear falls in a hot stream down my cheek. She wipes it with her thumb then pulls me in for a hug and squeezes until I wrap my arms around her. Her floral scent surrounds me, and the warmth of her body blooms across my chest.
“Sometimes, we all have ta do bad things ta survive,” she whispers in my ear before releasing me. Without another word, she heads out the back door to the parking lot, leaving me standing there stunned.
I pace across my living room, trying to keep the scream building inside my chest at bay. Ripp sits on my threadbare old couch, frowning. He had been waiting there for me when I came home and hasn’t moved since I crashed through the front door.
“You’re going to wear a hole in the floor if you keep pacing around like that,” he sighs. I can hear the annoyance in his voice. I gave him a panicked rundown of everything that happened with the deputies at the bar, but he continues to act unphased. I’m the one who should be annoyed with his constant disregard for the seriousness of my situation.
“Oh, bite me,” I grumble, continuing to walk back and forth in front of him. Of course, some magical ancient being wouldn’t blink at the idea of rotting in a jail cell, but he could at least act fucking concerned for my benefit.
“Is that an offer?” He flashes me a wicked smile that quickly fades when I throw him a stern look. My eyes narrow, focused on him, and I let out a long exhale through my nose.
“Fuck off,” I snarl before realizing what I said and throwing my head back in exacerbation. There’s no expletive I could use right now that he wouldn’t turn into foreplay.
“Again, is that an offer?” The corner of his mouth quirks up, like he’s trying to contain a laugh. He rubs his palms down his muscular thighs, and my pulse quickens. My entire world is going up in smoke, but liquid heat pools in my center anyway. I run my tongue across my teeth and shake my head, trying to clear the needy thoughts invading it.
“No,” I bite out, unsure if I’m trying to convince him or myself. “It’s not a fucking offer. They know the sheriff is missing, and that fucker texted them I was out in the woods that day.” I snap my fingers twice at him, trying to regain his focus. His eyes swirl with hunger, making me feel like a rabbit being watched by a fox.
“Your words are saying no, little bug.” He grins wide, flashing his teeth. “But your body is saying yes. I can smell the slickness between your thighs from here.”
I slam my thighs together, almost stumbling as my center of balance shifts. My pussy throbs from the sudden friction of my denim shorts. Ripp slides from the couch down onto his knees. The sight almost causes my knees to buckle again. His pupils dilate until black entirely devours the blue. He places his palms on the floor, and I force myself to swallow as this gorgeous god crawls to me.
The roaring of my heartbeat fills my ears. It’s so loud, half the state can probably hear it. The man before me has kept all his human features but has been replaced with a feral creature, eyes only for me. Guttural moans rattle from his chest as he traces his tongue across his bottom lip. Time slows like sap dripping from a tree trunk until he’s finally below me. He sits back on his haunches, baring his teeth up at me.
My thunderous heart suddenly sputters like an old car engine trying to start. Every cell in my body vibrates with the anticipation of what he’ll do next. My fingertips twitch, trying to reach for him, but my muscles fail to move. Ripp throws his head back with a ravenous howl then tears through my denim shorts and any trace of my underwear. The clothes fall to the floor in ribbons, and a devilish smile paints his face.
My legs start to tremble, but he grips each ankle, holding them steady. He leans down, caressing one ankle with his tongue before working his way up with unrelenting licks and nips. I can’t tell his hands from his tongue and teeth. White spots appear in my vision as he reaches my thigh with his mouth and hands. One hand reaches above him, running his fingers across my center that’s already weeping for him. He swirls my arousal, working it to the swollen bundle of nerves, sending lightning strikes through my body. He’s forming a storm that will be named after him.
“Ripp,” I pant, feeling myself starting to crumble at his touch. He slides one finger into me, then two, pumping them into me, building into a ruthless rhythm.
“That’s it,” he moans. “Use my name. Tell me what you want me to do to you.” The air around me spins as he uses his other arm to bend me to the floor. The coldness of the wood below me sends my back arching into him, his fingers deepening with the movement. His mouth presses against me, sucking in my clit through his teeth and swirling his tongue against it.
“Ripp,” I cry out again as his fingers quicken and he presses them against the spot that will leave me a soaking mess beneath him. “Fill me. Fill me with your darkness and make me forget my own.” Tears brim at the corners of my eyes. I can feel my release mounting, but I need more. A strange vibration fills me then spreads over my body in a wave that doesn’t let up. The sensation laps at the shore of my body again and again. The hair on my body tingles as the feeling crosses over my skin, and I raise my head slightly to look down. Ripp growls into my center, and I see tendrils of shadow dancing over me.
I brace myself on my elbows, shaking as I adjust my weight against unsteady arms, not sure if they’ll continue to hold me upright. He lifts from me, just enough for me to see one shadow plunge into my entrance. His face glistens with my wetness as he smiles, and the shadow swells, filling me completely. I let out my own howl of pure pleasure from the sting of the stretch and a fullness I’ve never experienced. The shadow throbs inside me, tightening that coil at the base of my spine each time it expands. My moans grow into screams and my eyelids flutter. I’m so close to the edge, I’m about to go tumbling off.
A cool tingle brushes my lips. It feels like they’re about to go numb. When I peek open my eyes, I see a shadow waits there, begging for entrance. Ripp’s teeth grip my clit again, and when I open my mouth to release a moan, the shadow slams inside. My lips stretch around it, and my tongue struggles underneath. The unforgiving pace builds into a buzzing in body, growing louder with each thrust. Saliva pools around his shadow, dripping down my chin as the thickened tendril works its way in and out of my mouth. My cries of ecstasy gurgle around it as my body succumbs to the rush of pure desire flooding my veins. Molten desire pools from my core, coating Ripp’s face as he moves down to taste the gift he’s pulled from me.
My chest rises and falls in unsteady breaths. His shadows pull back into him like they were never there at all. I blink my eyes several times, waiting for my soul to come back into my body and for the feeling to return to my spent nerves. Exhaustion sets in like a heavy blanket, and I relax my arms to lie back on the floor. “Fuck me,” I whisper.
“I did,” Ripp answers. The voice seems far away, even though his face is now next to mine. I feel my weight lift, and the room shifts in my vision through heavy eyelids as he picks me up. “Now it’s time for you to rest, little bug.”