71
Sasha
Lillian drops me off at my place. The main floor lights are on. There are a few cars and bikes outside and people milling around in the kitchen.
“Well this is unusual,”
I say, though my downstairs neighbors seem to know most of the city.
“Your parents are going to let us all come over yet.”
“I wouldn’t hold out hope.”
“Cyprus will manifest it into being. You heard how curious she was about if I’d met your family and what I thought of them. Not that I like formally introduced you to mine or something. They’re just kind of around. We just started dating-dating.”
“Quinn put it so artfully though.”
Lillian laughs, but she flushes a tiny bit too.
“There’s no rush is my point.”
I hate to have let her ramble herself out instead of telling her the truth. But now she shifts her tone and looks at me in a mischievous way.
“Your parents do seem very busy. Let me sneak upstairs with you. Just for a minute. I want to see your bedroom.”
It’s clearly its own suite. It’d give me away.
I’d love to return Lillian’s look of trouble. I often do, but not as much as I’d like to. The secrets keep me a little farther from her.
Outside of this house, I’d like to imagine my family lives there, and this is my home.
Secrets are the loneliest thing in the world. No one can tell me otherwise.
“I’d say yes, but when they’ve got people over they’re guaranteed to come and get me and be like, ‘you’ve got to meet so-and-so from the firm.’ I can’t drag you into that nightmare. We’ve been vulnerable enough for today.”
Lillian leans into me.
“I’m glad we’re done lying though. I’m not sure you noticed, but I’m not the smoothest criminal.”
“You were doing admirably until there was an implication you’d put on Lockpick.”
“I’m never forgiving you for that.”
I rest my head on top of hers and squeeze her. There’s a spot for her in my bed, one that’s never belonged to anyone else.
On tour, I’d lay my guitar there, the headstock on the pillow, so the bed felt less empty. So I could reach for it if I woke up in the night.
Lillian says.
“I guess we’re in this now.”
She kisses me before I can say we always were.