74
Lillian
At first, I thought I’d do this with someone else right away. Then it seemed like it might be a long time before I was ready.
Now I look down at Sasha curving their entire being up to me, and I can’t believe how they were just suddenly here.
They were like some lyric rushing into my mind when I’m half asleep that I have to write down before it’s gone.
I got a few words on the paper, unsure what they meant.
I knew they were important, but I was too removed to piece it together.
I think I’m sorting it out.
They mean I’m fully here. My questions and memories and glances at a note buried in my guitar fade out. My world becomes our bodies together.
This is outrageous fortune. Absurd, horizonless, sun-kissed. Let the waves crash on me. Let me be torn to pieces by every feeling I hold.
And when we’re finally too tired to do anything but crumple cozy into each other and soak in the warmth of each other’s skin, I bite my tongue instead of telling Sasha I love them.
I’m saving it.
Tonight is already a lot.
Some chorus is starting to take shape.