Chapter Forty-One
Kellen
I n a perfect world, I could drive from Goodland to Ransom in a little over two hours. By bike, I could get there within eleven hours. However, traveling by foot coupled with unforeseen dangers at every turn, the estimated walk time of fifty-plus hours will be more like sixty or seventy.
Just under three days.
I can do this.
One way or another, I’ll get to my destination in Kansas and will learn the fate of my brother. I’ve made it this far, so I can’t afford not to make it the rest of the way.
What will Dad say when I arrive?
Will I be met with his usual hostility?
What if they never made it there?
I’m jostled from thoughts of my family when another strong gust of air nearly knocks me on my ass. It’s as though I-70 is the inside of a straw and someone powerful and super annoying is on the other end, trying like hell to blow me into yesterday.
At least the air is warm.
Small victory.
However, the chill at my back and the warmth at my front has me worrying about another type of weather problem.
Tornadoes.
A car, on the other side of the interstate, drives slowly around broken-down cars and debris. Most of the roads we’ve encountered thus far have been blocked, damaged, completely gone, or guarded by unsavory people.
I keep holding out hope that I’ll come to an area of civilization that’s been aided by the military or some other government agency. But with each abandoned car and pilfered building I come across, that hope dwindles more and more.
The United States as I knew it is gone.
I’m guessing it’s much like this for the rest of the world, too.
Gerty, the asteroid that caused all of this decades and decades ago when she slammed into our moon, is responsible for the ultimate ruin of humankind.
I give myself a shake at the dark thoughts. Aside from my guilt trips, my thoughts never drifted too far into the abyss when I was with Tyler.
He was a lifeboat.
One I desperately needed.
I’ve clung to him ever since that fateful day the wave of fury devoured the city of my home. Now it’s time to swim on my own. I can’t let miserable thoughts consume me. I’ll drown and I’ve come too far to do that.
The hours pass by dreadfully slow. I’m grateful for my new sneakers thanks to the people of Goodland. The shoes are a perfect fit and don’t rub blisters on me like my boots did. I’ve tied them to the back of my pack, though, because if I encounter any other terrain besides asphalt, I’m going to need them.
Images of Tyler’s sexy smile keep flashing in my mind. It’s torturous and takes great effort to push them away. Focus on the road ahead. Stay the course.
I travel along the interstate until it’s nearing dark. I’ll need to seek shelter for the night, rest, and regroup for another couple of days of travel. It’d be great if any of the cars I passed were in working order. Alas, that’s not my luck.
My mind drifts back to the past, but this time way back.
“I’m a cowboy like Dad!” Knox says, running around the living room, completely oblivious to the tension around him. “Pew! Pew! Pew!”
Dad’s glare never leaves me and he doesn’t play along with his five-year-old. Refraining from looking my father in the eyes, I turn my attention to Knox and pretend to hold my chest in pain.
“You got me,” I choke out playfully. “I’m dead.”
He giggles before running over to the windows for the umpteenth time to see if it’s almost dark yet. I promised to take him trick-or-treating, since Dad won’t and Mom’s in bed with a migraine, but not until the sun goes down first.
“Kellen.”
The tone of Dad’s voice drips with anger. Not only am I dealing with my sexuality, but I also have to make my father understand that I don’t want to do this ranching gig. It’s not me. I’ve put in my time, but I’m nearly a grown-ass adult now. It’s time to start acting like one and go my own way. Mom thinks he’ll understand eventually if I just give him some time to acclimate. Sometimes I think she’s a little delusional when it comes to that man because he’s set in his ways, the rest of us be damned.
“Dad,” I say with a small sigh. “Can we talk about this tomorrow?”
I don’t have to look at him to know he’s grinding his teeth together. I can hear the distinct sound enamel on enamel that never ceases to make my skin crawl with worry. He’s pissed and when he’s pissed, you never know if you’ll get the back of his hand or the fiery sting of his leather belt. Mom runs interference when she can, but she’s not always successful, nor is she always around.
Knox interrupts again, this time with a lasso he expertly tosses over my head. I manage to grab hold of it before he hogties me like one of the calves. Sure enough, he yanks on the rope and it tightens around my freaking neck like a noose.
“Enough,” Dad barks at Knox as I quickly pull off the rope. “You’re about to get sent to bed instead of going off with your brother.”
Chastened and with tears welling, Knox releases the rope and runs out of the room. He struggles to keep the plastic holster belt from sliding down his waist as he books it out of here. As relieved as I am he got out of here before angering Dad, I bristle at my father’s undivided attention.
“I need you here at this farm. With your family,” Dad says coolly. “It’s where you belong. Where real men belong.”
The last part stings, but I’m still reeling from the first part of his words. Is he kidding? We’re no family. Me and Knox are heirs to Dad’s empire he’s created. He wants us to take over one day not because he loves us. No, Dad just wants his legacy to go on.
I hate it here.
Guilt sluices through me, making me feel oily and gross. I just want to get the hell out of here tonight and spend time getting candy with my kid brother. Why does everything have to be so big with Dad? Can’t we ever get a night off from this constant barrage of interrogation? Mom attempts to defend him, saying he’s only hard on the outside but soft in the center. I’ve never seen one bit of softness on that man. Ever.
“Yeah, sure,” I mutter, deflating at the defeat washing over me. “You’re right.”
He’s not, but I’ll say anything to get out of his presence right now.
“That’s what I thought.”
With those words, Dad rises to his feet, calls for Knox to get ready to go, and then disappears out the back door.
The relief that floods through me is brief.
Seconds later, Knox the cowboy is back with play guns blazing and threatening to shoot my balls off if I don’t get moving.
I snort in amusement.
And then I get going because I wouldn’t put it past the little punk to try to do just that.
I like my balls, thank you very much.
The smile from my lingering memory is quite literally smacked off my face. A flash of pain across the bridge of my nose dizzies me, causing me to stumble and fall to my knees with a grunt.
A stop sign.
The wind damn near knocked me out with a stupid stop sign that continues to tumble through the air on a journey to take out its next unsuspecting victim.
Rubbing at my nose, I pause to make sure it’s not broken. Thankfully, it doesn’t bleed. I’d wanted to keep my clothes free of filth and blood as long as possible—at least until Ransom.
As I regather myself, I scan my surrounding that I’d been aimlessly passing through while lost in memory.
Nothing on this stretch of interstate.
Desolate land. Abandoned vehicles. Random debris.
I need to find a place to rest. The wind has really picked up, which is worrying. Plus, dark storm clouds have rolled in with the vicious wind. Up ahead, I see a small bridge situated over the interstate. Not the best shelter, but it’ll do.
Rain begins to pelt me, so I run full speed ahead. My stomach grumbles angrily, ready to eat, but I ignore it in my efforts.
Under the bridge, I hit the jackpot. Someone abandoned a minivan underneath and it seems like a good spot as any to spend the night. I dig through my bag to retrieve my flashlight and carefully check in the windows to make sure I won’t have any surprises.
Aside from a few stale French fries smashed into the carpet near the car seat that’s strapped in and fast-food trash littering the van, it’s safe. Locked but safe. I locate a rock and bust out the front side window so I can unlock the vehicle.
Once I get it unlocked, I open the back hatch. Wind whips through the vehicle, stealing trash from inside the van and taking it on a journey down the interstate. It takes a minute of fumbling with the seat latches until I figure out how to push the back ones forward, giving me a decent-sized area in the back to lie down on. I crawl into the van and pull the hatch shut.
The whining wind is the only sound.
It gets old quickly.
At least when I was walking, I had the soothing sounds of my shoes hitting the pavement. Right now I feel as though I’ve sealed myself into a silent tomb that’s seconds away from being buried in a sandstorm.
No sand comes.
The rain, though, decides to come down in buckets. I’m thankful, again, that I went with my gut and found this place. Had I tried to continue on and gotten drenched in the process, I’d have been pissed at myself.
I dig around in the backpack until I find dinner. Beef jerky sticks and Skittles. Grunting with displeasure, I quickly down the food and then search for my sweatshirt. I fold it into a neat square to use for a pillow. Once my head is resting on it and I’m stretched out as much as one can be inside the back of a minivan, I try to shut off my mind so I can sleep.
Thoughts of Tyler creep back in against my will.
“Stop it,” I chide myself. “Stop thinking about him.”
The part of me I’m apparently talking to doesn’t answer. Thank God for small miracles. I’ve barely been on my own a day and I’m already losing it.
I squeeze my eyes shut and try to focus on Uncle Mason and Aunt Beth’s farm. It was always such a bright place in my memories.
My aunt made the best lemonade. I once asked her what her secret was and she laughed, saying, “Crystal Lite.” As a kid, I thought it was a woman—a magical one at that. I never put two and two together until I went grocery shopping on my own for the first time when I’d moved out. There, among the energy drinks and Gatorade and Kool-Aid was Crystal Lite. I’d laughed out loud, much to the annoyance of a woman shopping nearby.
Hopefully, my aunt and uncle are okay. They, like my immediate family, were always preparing for the worst. I know if I can just get to them—and to see Knox—everything will be fine. We’ll survive until Gerty the asteroid’s lifetime of wrath finally takes out our planet once and for all.
Again, my mind goes back to Tyler. An ache forms in my chest and no matter how hard I rub at the place over my heart, it doesn’t go away. Writing that letter to him was beyond difficult. Saying goodbye felt so…wrong.
I swipe at a stupid tear that leaks out of my eye as I stare up at the dark ceiling in the van. The faint odor of greasy fast food makes my stomach turn.
I miss him.
God, how I miss him.
Was he devastated reading the letter?
Of course he was. I was gutted writing it. I can almost see the pained look on his face as he read my words.
I told him I loved him.
Past tense.
It was a lie because I love him.
Present tense.
I’ll always love him. He woke up parts of me I didn’t know existed. Somehow, the mouthy food deliveryman worked his way inside my heart and set up camp.
I pinch the bridge of my nose and then wince in pain, remembering the whack to the face I took earlier. More tears leak out and I blame the stupid sign for hurting me.
It was you who hurt you, stupid.
Go back!
I sit up and contemplate doing just that. Maybe it’s not too late. Maybe I can find Tyler, grab him in my arms, and beg him to take me back. This whole journey is stupid. Yes, I want to see my brother, but most likely I’ll show up to a destroyed farm devoid of people. One heartache after another. It’ll all be for nothing.
Headlights suddenly shine through the windows at me. I throw myself back down to the floor of the vehicle, silently cursing myself for sitting up in the first place. The road isn’t safe to begin with, but at night, you’re just asking for trouble being out here alone.
I should slip out of here while I can.
What if the traveler stops to take my supplies?
Before I can locate my shoes to throw them on, the lights suddenly cut off. I freeze, heart beating rapidly in my throat, and wonder what I could use for a weapon. Too bad the Goodland people didn’t include a Glock in their guest welcome backpacks.
I lift my head enough to peek out the windows to look for the newcomer. Since it’s pouring down rain now, it’s beyond dark and I can barely see past the van. Quickly, I toss my sweatshirt into my backpack and throw back on my athletic shoes. Once my backpack is on, I suck in a deep breath as I take hold of the inner hatch handle.
I’m going to have to run for it.
The rain drowns out the audible click of the handle. Slowly, I lift the hatch and then pounce to the asphalt, pebbles crunching underfoot. Without preamble, I take off in a sprint, heading in the opposite direction of my stalker.
Someone yells from the inky darkness behind me. Male. Angry. And now chasing after me since I gave up my location. Hoping against all hope he doesn’t have a gun, I ignore his calls, racing for the safety of the downpour.
If I can make it to there, I’m confident I can lose him.
I’ll get drenched, but at least I’ll still have my pack.
Behind me, the footsteps get louder and closer. Gritting my teeth together, I bear down and run harder, my long legs eating up the distance to my saving rain.
The cold curtain of water waiting for me is a shock to my system. I let out a yelp as every single dry part of me is immediately soaked through. My shoes splash through thick puddles as I continue to bolt from the man following me.
“Stop running!” he bellows from behind me—close, too close.
I can’t stop.
I refuse to.
That is, until I’m made to.
The man crashes into me, tackling me to the road. Every part of my body that impacts the pavement explodes with sharp pain. I cry out, struggling to crawl out from beneath my captor. With superhuman strength, the man rips my backpack off me and then rolls me onto my back.
I jerk at his hold, trying to free an arm to punch him, but all fight leaves me when I lock eyes on the person on top of me.
Even in the murky darkness, I recognize him.
He’s no stranger to me. He’s everything to me.
“Tyler?” I choke out, chest panting from exertion. “W-What are you d-doing here?”
Stupid.
Those lame words are the first ones out of my mouth to him?
“Coming after you, dumbass,” he growls. “What were you thinking?” The anger briefly abates and his voice wobbles. “How could you do that to me?”
I’m glad it’s raining now so he can’t see me openly crying. Shame and regret are thick in the air around me.
“I messed up,” I whisper, lip trembling. “I’m sorry. I know I messed up.”
The tension in his body bleeds out of him, but he doesn’t get off me. “It hurt, Kellen. So much. I’ve been going out of my mind with worry.”
I can’t help but reach up to touch his handsome face. His eyes close and he leans into it. I’ve hurt him, but I haven’t lost him. He’s here with me and responding to my touch.
“We’re stronger together,” Tyler says, eyes reopening so he can glower at me. “I thought you were smart enough to know that. We’ve been an unstoppable team since we met.”
“I know.” Guilt attacks me from every angle. “I just felt…responsible for everything bad that happened.”
“Had you talked to me about it,” he rumbles, “I’d have reminded you again and again that it wasn’t your fault. You’re a good man and leader, Kellen, but you can’t control everything that happens. Not everything is a direct result of your failures. Even if it were, me and the others care about you and would never blame you. But leaving us? That was cruel, man. Really cruel.”
“I’m sorry,” I croak out, hand sliding behind his head so I can pull him closer to me. “I’m so sorry.”
It doesn’t take much coaxing to bring his lips to mine. At first, the kiss is hesitant on his part. Then, as though he’s forgiven me with his lips alone, he devours my mouth with uncontrolled hunger. I greedily kiss this beautiful man back.
We make out, the rain unrelenting, until we’re both breathless and shivering. Tyler finally climbs off me and helps me up.
“Let’s get out of these wet clothes.” His command is husky and filled with need.
I don’t have to be told twice.