Chapter 12
Jordan
"Hey, man. Long time no see,” Jake says as soon as I step into the apartment. He grabs a bottle of soda out of the fridge and pulls a jar of peanuts down from a cabinet.
I drop my bag and collapse onto the couch. “Yeah, we had a long stretch this week.”
“How’d everything go?” Our games aren’t usually televised, so he wouldn’t know.
He’s in the stands on occasion, but for the most part my new roommate is the quiet, artistic type.
He spends most of his days in his new community studio, which has made the transition to living together incredibly easy. We’re rarely home at the same time.
“We’re in the middle of a series against the Panthers,” I tell him.
“So far, we’ve won two, lost one. Three more to go.
” After years of living with Mike, I’m not used to having to update someone else.
It’s kind of nice because I know Jake’s only being polite, and I never have to talk shop with him if I don’t want to.
I can leave things on the field, like the details about striking out today.
Jake nods and sinks down onto the other side of the sofa. He looks even more exhausted than I feel. He and Alice invested in a building over on Main Street and Jake’s remodeling it himself. The manual labor has him drained.
“Want to watch something?” He grabs the remote and points it at the TV, turning on Weekly Wrap-Up, the satire news show. His head falls to his chest and he’s asleep before the first segment ends.
I turn the volume down a few notches and try not to laugh too loudly while I continue watching. A few minutes later, my phone vibrates in my pocket.
Shelley: Seriously. Why are men?
I give in, finally typing out a reply.
Me: Why are we what?
Shelley: Uggggh. Just…why?
Me: All right. What happened?
Shelley: Once upon a time, some bozo invented the internet, then along came online dating, and here we are. So, back to my original question. Why? Are? Men?
Me: I take it this is about the date that did not go well?
Shelley: If by well you mean he showed up forty minutes late and got a nosebleed during our meal, which he tried to clean with the tablecloth, then it was great.
Shelley: Oh, and he also conveniently forgot his wallet, so I had to pay for the meal he ordered for himself AND the one he ordered for his mommy (which is what he still actually calls her, by the way).
Me: Yikes.
Shelley: Then my first rideshare cancelled, so I had to wait a half hour in the dark for another car to show up.
Me: Ok, yeah. That’s pretty bad.
Shelley: I swear, I just want one good date. Just one. Is that really so much to ask?
Me: I’d like to say no, but the evidence is not on my side.
Shelley: Jordaaaan!
I laugh because I can almost hear her pouty whine through the phone screen. Jake stirs, so I take my phone into my room, grabbing an ice pack from the freezer on my way, to continue this conversation with more privacy.
Shelley: It’s me, isn’t it? I’m the common denominator in all these situations. Tell me what I’m doing wrong. I can take it. (Probably.)
Me: No way. Not falling into that trap. Maybe reframe and be glad you dodged a bullet?
Shelley: A bullet would at least make me feel something.
Time to switch this to a face-to-face conversation. I press the video call icon next to her name. She picks up, looking surprised.
“Talking about bullets earns you a courtesy check,” I tell her.
She smiles and rolls her eyes as she props her phone up on a piece of furniture, changing the angle. “Completely unnecessary, and also I’d like to point out you’re the one who brought up the bullet, but the well-check is appreciated nonetheless.”
“Just had to see for myself.”
“Well, here I am.” She waves a hand up and down her body, and my eyes scan to follow it.
It’s obvious she put a lot of effort into getting ready for this date.
Her hair is hanging down her shoulders in loose curls, and a tight, long-sleeved red dress hugs her curves.
She’s wearing a little bit of eye makeup, but the rest of her face looks natural.
Even though I can’t smell her, I remember her light floral scent from the hotel room.
My body stirs to attention at the memory.
“You should go back out and take yourself on the kind of date you want. You look great. Don’t waste all that effort on some loser. Do it for you.”
She sighs. “I know you’re right, and I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s late and I’m tired. Plus, I think I would just feel pathetic and lonely knowing I’m only out on my own because I got rejected again.”
The implication that I was the last person who made her feel this way stings, but we both know there were legitimate reasons for that. It’s baffling how anyone else could ever walk away from her.
“Take me with you, then.” The words are out of my mouth before I have a chance to think about them. When she scrunches her brow, I clarify, “I’ll stay on the phone. You won’t be alone.”
“Surely, you have something better to do tonight than babysit me.”
I really don’t. “Sadly, no. Just icing my elbow. And I was planning to binge some old sitcom reruns. This will be way more entertaining.” She narrows her eyes at me, but I push a little more because I get the sense she needs it. “Go on. You know you want to.”
She rolls her bottom lip between her teeth as she considers. “Honestly? I’d rather just get out of this dress. Shapewear is not for the weak. Excuse me a second.”
She repositions the phone to face the opposite wall as she walks toward her closet, which I can see in the reflection of the mirror hanging on the wall her phone is now facing. I cough to try to get her attention, but she’s too far away to hear me.
I try not to watch as Shelley peels off her dress, revealing a matching black lace bra and panty set, along with some tight contraption around her middle, which does look really uncomfortable.
It’s fastened with about a dozen tiny hooks, and it takes her a few minutes to twist it around and unhook them all.
She moans in relief as it falls away, and even though I don’t have a full view of her front, I strongly consider moving the ice from my elbow down to my lap.
When she reaches behind her back to unhook her bra, I speak up again. “I can see you, Shelley.”
Her eyes meet mine in the mirror, and she bites the corner of her smile.
If she didn’t already know, she does now, and she’s teasing me on purpose.
Little brat. I put my hand over my eyes, peeking only a little as she slides on a silky tank top.
Then she pulls on a pair of pastel sleep shorts covered in rubber ducks.
She walks toward her phone and my eyes lock on the two hard peaks visible through the fabric of her shirt until her face is in full view again.
“Do you want to walk me through what else happened on this date?” I ask, pushing through the lump in my throat and trying to be here for my friend.
“Um, okay. If you think that will help. But I’m telling you, it was a disaster.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t all bad. Start at the beginning.”
“We met at the restaurant, and it was your typical second date. I’d met him for coffee once before. There was small talk, I tried to start up a little bit of banter, but he didn’t really seem to get my jokes.”
I ignore the pang of discomfort I feel at the thought of this idiot getting a second date from her. “What kind of jokes were you making?”
“Good ones, obviously.”
“Like what? I’m trying to figure out if he’s as dumb as I think he is.”
She huffs. “Fine. It was a seafood restaurant. There was one point where the server asked if we’d like to order mussels. I said if I knew it was that easy to get them, I would stop wasting so much time at the gym.”
“Ouch. There’s no excuse for the bleeding on tableware or the mommy issues, but that one’s a little bit on you. That’s an objectively terrible joke.”
“Was not. The server laughed.”
“Yeah, because it’s their job to put up with stuff like that.”
She groans. “I thought you were supposed to be helping. You told me I could talk to you about these things.”
“Sorry. Go on. Then what happened?”
“Not much. It was lame. He hardly spoke to me. Before the nosebleed fiasco, he took four calls on speakerphone at the table: his mom twice, his banker, and another woman he’s apparently seeing tomorrow night.
We ate some, then he bled everywhere and said he needed to get back to his apartment to let his dog out.
He asked if I wanted to swing by later and meet the dog. ”
Why is she wasting her time getting upset about this dickhead? “Was there really a dog, or is that a euphemism?”
Shelley lets out a pained sound. “Ew. I hadn’t considered that possibility until this moment, so thanks for that.
I assumed there was an actual dog, but now that you mention it, he never said the dog’s name or what breed it was.
But it doesn’t matter because I said no thanks and told him I have an early class. ”
“Do you?”
“Not really. I needed an out. My first class is at ten.” An unexpected flood of relief hits me as she says it.
“So, what’s this call really about, then?” If she didn’t like the guy, I’m not sure what she wants me to say here. I’m not going to help her orchestrate hookups with people she doesn’t even like.
A low groan comes back at me. “I hate that you’re making me say it. I guess I’m just lonely and…frustrated.”
“Frustrated how?”
“Come on, Jordan. Don’t act dense. I know things got a little intense at the hotel, but I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this stuff. You said I could ask for your help with this.”
“What I said was if you ask me questions, I’ll do my best to answer them.
So far, I haven’t heard a single question out of you.
” There’s a pause, which I take as her admission she knows I’m right.
I hate this guy for making her second-guess herself, and it sucks that he wasted her time tonight, but I know I have no right to be jealous here.
I’m the one who pumped the brakes at the hotel.
“Technically, I did ask a question. I asked, ‘Why are men?’” she insists. Then her voice comes out small and quiet when she asks what she really wants to know. “Do you think…do you think I’m broken?”
My chest squeezes. I don’t even bother trying to school the pained expression on my face, but I try to keep my own voice neutral and not sound as sad and exasperated as I feel when I say, “No. I don’t.”
“Maybe I’ll just never be able to connect with someone the way other people can. And as much as I’d like to be okay with it and take pleasure in my own company, it turns out I can’t even do that right. My body is defective.”
I want to tell her that between my elbow issues and my own confusion, I know the feeling two-fold, but I don’t want to pull focus onto myself. She reached out because she needs a friend. Right now is supposed to be about her.
I sigh and scrub a hand over my face. “I won’t make any comments about that, other than seeing as how you’ve already been to multiple doctors, we know it’s not a problem with your anatomy.
I doubt this is going to last forever. You said they told you it was a mental block, right?
” Honestly, as much as I relate, it’s getting a little tiresome to have to keep repeating myself about this.
Shelley is so sure of herself in every other aspect of her life, it’s hard to watch her fumble over her own insecurities when it comes to her body.
But I know I can’t make a habit of telling my best friend’s sister how hot I think she is.
“It’s okay to be alone, you know. Maybe take dating off the table for a while.
Or just take some time to figure out what you actually want. ”
Shelley’s face falls. I must’ve said something wrong, but I can’t think what. I was trying to be careful.
“Okay. This was maybe not such a great idea after all. I’m gonna go.” She hangs up before I can say goodbye.
I shake my head and stare at the phone in my hand for a solid minute before a light tap on my doorframe causes me to look up and see Jake rap on it with his knuckles.
“I shouldn’t have taken that nap. Now I can’t sleep. Do you want to play a few rounds of Mario Kart or something?” His head tilts, noticing the expression on my face. “You good?”
Am I good? I have no valid reason not to be. Shelley’s giving me the space I told her I wanted. But there’s a dull headache brewing in my left temple anyway. “Sure. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Looking down at my phone again, I wonder if I should try to say something encouraging to her.
I don’t like the way we keep ending things, but I also don’t want to make a big deal out of something that shouldn’t be.
I toss my phone onto my bed and walk out of the room, shutting the door on it for now.