Chapter 22
Jordan
I’ve lost my damn mind. I’m in Mike’s room—literally in his bed—making out with his sister after I offered to help her get herself off.
I’m a terrible friend, but I’m ready to accept that fact about myself because Shelley’s slowly taking over every thought in my head.
Her breathing has changed, and her shallow, needy sighs erase all sense of logic and reason from my brain.
When she presses her hips into me, I want to peel off every layer of fabric between us, but instead I say, “Do you still want me to try to help?”
She whimpers and nods.
“Lie back. Put two fingers in your mouth and suck on them for me.”
She mumbles something to herself that sounds like “here goes nothing,” but then she shifts her body and brings her fingers up, and the soft suction coming from her side of the bed is the only sound in the room.
Shelley removes her fingers and speaks again. “Now what?’ she asks, tentatively, waiting for me.
I ignore the ache in my own body while I focus on telling her what to do. “Slide your hand down your body. Slowly. Stop when you get to your waistband.”
Her hands are under the blankets, but I know she’s doing what I tell her because her breath is uneven now. “Take your other hand and slip it under your shirt.” My voice is a scratchy whisper.
“Are you hard?” she pants, but there’s a hint of worry in her voice, like she’s afraid my body won’t react to this.
“Do you want to feel?” It’s a confirmation as much as it is an invitation. I’m not planning to do anything about my own situation right now.
“Can I?”
I swallow and nod. I know we’re entering new territory, and there’s no coming back once we cross this line. But I shift my body and offer it to her. She seems cozy under the blanket, so I leave it draped over us, letting her set the boundaries here.
“Jordan?” Shelley hesitates and I run a finger lightly across her arm, wanting her to know I’m right here in this with her. “I need you to know I want this. So badly.” She runs her teeth over her bottom lip. “But I can’t promise my body will cooperate.”
I put a finger to her lips to stop her before she starts an apology. I don’t need her to be sorry for something she can’t control.
“It feels like you’re waiting for permission to be imperfect, and I should tell you you’re not going to find it here,” I warn her gently.
“First of all, you don’t need it. You’re human, so be human with me,” I encourage her, and she gifts me a shy smile, so I continue.
“But also, I promised you I’d be honest, so I can’t agree with the premise you’re setting up here, because I do happen to think I’m looking at someone who’s pretty damn near perfect. ”
“Jordan.” She breathes out my name again, and it ignites a flame at the base of my spine.
When our bodies are so close that barely a millimeter of space exists between us, she brings her hand out from the covers and gently runs her fingertips over my chest again.
I can smell the arousal on her skin. My forehead dips down to touch hers as her other hand gently traces over my pajama bottoms. She whispers my name one last time before my lips finally land on hers.
Time and space cease to exist. There is only us here now with each other. Shelley explores my mouth with an eager curiosity while I pull her closer and let her wandering hands feel what she does to me.
Eventually, our lips part so we can each take a breath, then they briefly meet again. Two more soft, gentle kisses shared between us. A thank you and a promise. How can so much history and so many unspoken words about the future fit into one brush of her lips?
“Can I touch you, too?” I don’t want to assume anything.
She offers a shaky nod. “Please.”
“I’m going to try something, okay?” I wait for her permission, and when she gives it, I pull her shirt up, but not all the way off, leaving only her eyes covered, but her chest and her mouth exposed.
I kiss her lips softly, then take both of her wrists gently in one of my hands and hold them against the headboard.
Starting at her neck, I work my way down kissing, sucking, and nipping at her exposed skin until I reach her breasts.
Licking one nipple, I blow on it gently while I lightly pinch the other between my thumb and forefinger.
Her hips buck underneath me, and when I start to suck a little harder, she kicks the blanket away.
“Do you like that?”
She whimpers again, and the fabric of her shirt bunches around her head as she nods.
“Good. Let me see how much.” I alternate sucking, nibbling, and blowing on her while my right hand travels down to the waistband of her shorts. I run one finger along the top, and she whines. I chuckle and whisper, “Patience, Sweetheart. I know it’s hard, but I need you to be quiet.”
Her knees fall open in a silent plea for more. Moving at an agonizingly slow pace, I lower my hand to the bottom hem of her shorts and pull the fabric to the side, stroking over the wet spot that’s forming on her underwear.
“What do you want, Shelley?” I continue rubbing over the fabric while I let go of her wrists. She leaves her hands where I had them.
“Touch me. Please,” she begs, her eyes still covered.
“I can do that, but only if you promise to hold still and be quiet. Do you think you can do that for me?” I ask, peeling her sleep shorts and her underwear down her legs and discarding them at the foot of the bed.
“Yes.”
“Good girl. I’m going to make sure the door is locked, and I’m going to turn on some music.
Then I’m going to come back and spend a long time right here.
” I drag one finger over her dripping crease before moving to do exactly what I promised.
I double-check the lock and set a playlist on my phone to low volume.
I don’t want to wake anyone, but I do want to keep them from overhearing.
The noises she’s making tonight are for my ears only.
I return to the bed quickly and turn her body so she’s sideways on the mattress.
Dropping to my knees on the floor in front of her, I drape her legs over my shoulders.
I bring her hands down and set them on her belly while I fully uncover her face and look into her eyes.
“If you want me to stop, you can say so, or just tap on my head. I’ll stop right away, I promise.
But I don’t think you’re going to want me to. ” I wink at her.
Those stormy gray irises staring back at me hold my entire future. It should be terrifying, but instead it just feels right. Like this is exactly where I belong.