Chapter Twenty-Two #2
“No!” she exclaimed, clearly flustered. Her hands twisted together in her lap. “I mean the handbook.”
That got him. “The handbook,” he repeated, his brow arching as he leaned back just enough to signify his intrigue.
“The Handbook on Seduction and Matters of the Heart.” She nodded primly, but he wasn’t buying it anymore—there was more to this facade of propriety than she let on. There was fire! And he wanted to stoke it so badly.
But to her credit, she tried to maintain her composure despite the heat creeping up her neck. “It’s thick,” she said, grimacing at the admission.
“I’m sure it is,” Sebastian replied, struggling to keep his tone even. He rested his fingertips against his lips for a moment, feigning thought, though in truth it was to hide an inevitable smirk.
“And yet,” she continued, with all the sincerity of someone revealing a state secret, “I don’t know what to do. I’ve read every page. Multiple times. Even… even the ones my friends added. And I still don’t know what to do.”
Sebastian stilled.
Of all the things she could’ve said, he hadn’t expected that. Not from Maddie, who wielded wit like a rapier and marched into every conversation with her chin lifted and her arguments prepared. She always knew what to do, or at least pretended to, which was almost the same thing.
But this… this honesty?
It hit him square in the chest.
She looked so earnest. Flushed and fidgeting, a bit mortified, but she hadn’t lied. She’d handed him a piece of her truth.
And didn’t that make him want to kiss her. And want her.
Because he knew how hard it was to admit confusion, to not have the answer when the world expected you to. He’d spent his life filling silences with certainties, offering solutions before people even finished speaking. That was his role. The fixer. The composed one. The one who knew.
But she wasn’t looking for someone who always knew.
She was looking for someone who understood.
His throat tightened. Because suddenly, all the teasing felt less like a game and more like a plea. Not for seduction, but for reassurance. For connection. For someone who didn’t need her to have it all figured out to want her completely.
He wanted to tell her it was all right not to know. That desire wasn’t meant to be neat or scripted or annotated in a shared volume of seduction wisdom. It was messy. Confusing. Terrifying. Beautiful.
And that she didn’t need a handbook to be extraordinary at it.
Because she already was.
Already possessed him, and she didn’t even know it.
He swallowed hard, dragging his fingers through his hair. His gaze dipped to her hands, still twisted tightly in her lap. Part of him wanted to cover them with his own, to steady the tremble, to offer her the certainty she seemed to be searching for.
But he didn’t. Not yet.
“What? Did I suddenly stun you into speechlessness?”
Sebastian tried to stifle the laugh building in his chest, but a cough escaped instead.
He wiped at his face, his shoulders shaking slightly from restrained amusement.
“You’ve read the entire thick volume on…
seduction and… matters of the heart? Including the ‘addendums’ your friends contributed?
” He coughed, trying to maintain his composure. She was fun!
“Of course I did,” Maddie said, her blush deepening as she straightened in her chair. “I’m twenty years old. I cannot afford to be unprepared.”
I’d love to help in that regard.
“And yet,” he said, tilting his head as though to make a very serious point, “you still don’t know what to do?”
“Exactly!” She raised her hands in triumph, clearly believing she’d made her case.
Sebastian shook his head, his grin now utterly unrestrained. “I think, Maddie, that you’ve just managed to explain yourself and confuse me at the same time.”
“What do you mean?” she demanded, her earlier triumph faltering.
“I mean…” He hesitated for dramatic effect, running a hand through his dark hair. “Is it the technical ways of things that have left you uncertain?”
Her blush deepened to a startling crimson. “No. There really wasn’t much… on kissing.”
“Kissing,” Sebastian repeated, rubbing the back of his neck in what might have been mock contemplation. “And yet… you have kissed me?”
“Well, yes,” she stammered.
“You did, if I might say, extraordinarily well with that particular skill or lack thereof, whatever you wish to call it to flatter the need for propriety.”
She clapped her hands to her face, groaning softly. “Stop,” she muttered. “You’re being awful.”
“Anything else in the handbook I should be aware of?” he teased, leaning forward now, clearly enjoying her discomfort far too much.
“Oh, no!” Maddie exclaimed, shaking her head so vehemently that a few loose curls danced over her shoulders. “You cannot read it! It’s secret. What Ashley and Sera put in there… and most recently, Charlene… absolutely not.”
He paused, an amused silence stretching between them. “Perhaps,” he began, his voice low and warm, “we should try it ourselves.”
She blinked. “Try… what?”
“Adding to it.”
Maddie’s mouth opened and closed before she swallowed hard. “P-p-perhaps,” she managed.
Sebastian stood smoothly, his movements unhurried as he stepped closer. She didn’t shrink back, though he could see her pulse flutter just beneath the delicate skin of her throat.
“I mean, the scandal or the courtship are inevitable, as you said,” he murmured, his voice dropping just slightly, enough to fully captivate her.
“Y-yes,” she whispered.
“So,” he said, his lips curving into the faintest, most wicked of smiles, “shouldn’t we pick the one skill we prefer to work on then?”
Her gaze darted to his, and for a moment, the only sound between them was the crackle of the fire. Sparks flew there too, bright and alive, a perfect echo of the charge that lingered between them, waiting for one of them to lean just a little closer.
But he didn’t. Not yet. Instead, he waited for her to make the choice. And that, perhaps, was the most maddening part of all.