Chapter 19
VAN
Seeing my song performed by an artist always gave me a high.
And watching Brodie sing several of my works over the years was an even bigger thrill.
But having a chance to perform this song, with Brodie, to his fans?
I’d never experienced anything like it. Never.
No, my voice was not nearly as smooth as his, and I couldn’t hit some of those high notes, but none of that mattered.
Everything between us on this stage made perfectly imperfect sense.
We were just Brodie and Van out here.
Two people making beautiful music together, taking our connection to a higher level. A place beyond age, and jobs, and tours, and schedules.
All the frustration I’d poured into the song about feelings that were new to me, feelings I was unsure about, released.
Maybe life wasn’t linear, and the answers I was searching for were hidden in plain sight.
As I sang, I stared at Brodie and watched him watching me.
He’d been there all along. But until this trip, I’d never let myself hope he could want anything more than friendship. And more than our shared passion for music.
Then I saw the tears in his eyes, and I felt the heartache in his voice.
I felt his desire for me with every husky note that poured out of him, a honeyed growl that rumbled from deep inside.
How was it possible that I’d reached forty-four years of age and only now knew this feeling?
Was I in total denial most of my life, running on automatic?
All I knew was that the man across from me was the most extraordinary gift of my life. Working with him, creating with him, and now, falling for him.
Holy fuck, I was falling in love with Brodie…
As we reached the end of the song, my body caught up to my emotions. My hands trembled, my voice shook, and everything in my vision blurred.
The onslaught of cheers, claps, and hollers around us was nothing but white noise.
The only sound I recognized was the beat of my heart, fast and out of control.
I blinked, and Brodie came in to focus again. He stood up, wiped his eyes, and acknowledged the crowd, then urged me to get on my feet and join him.
Finally, I stood on wobbly legs as he placed his arm around my waist, steadying me, supporting me.
Never thought I’d ever lean on someone else for a change and Brodie, least of all. But as I turned my head and stared into his eyes, I saw the truth.
I knew exactly how he felt about me.
I’m pretty sure everyone in that theater knew it, too.
Suddenly, the rest of the guys rushed out to surround us while black and orange streamers and confetti rained down all over the stage.
Second by second, reality began to seep back in.
Brodie and I weren’t alone.
I was still his manager. And he was still a rock god.
Reluctantly, I stepped away from the spotlight as Holloway, Ronin, and Faisel all offered up their congratulations. They gave me hugs while Holloway yelled, “Why the fuck didn’t we know you were a songwriter?”
“What did I tell you?” Brodie spoke into his mic once the crowd had calmed to a gentle roar. “Please give another round of applause to my partner, Ivan Cross.”
My body jolted when I heard Brodie murmur the word “partner.” I liked it—a lot.
I waved at the crowd and then made my way over to the wings as the band set up for their next song.
Looking over my shoulder at the last minute, I saw Brodie staring at me intently.
It was electric.
All my nervous energy was gone and replaced by a desire that was rising high and fast, crashing over my worries and leaving me with a dangerous kind of recklessness.
Anxieties were for another version of me and another day.
I wanted to soak up this wild feeling and live in it a little while longer. Before reality intruded.
People walked around me, and I’m pretty sure someone asked me a question, but I was too overloaded to pay attention. My body vibrated like a tuning fork.
Until I received a whack on the shoulder and turned to find Ace smiling at me.
“You done good, Van. Didn’t know you had it in you.”
“Thanks, but it was all Brodie. I just hummed along.”
Ace shook his head, his long, blond hair falling over his shoulders. “You did your fair share up there. Gotta say, it sounds like a hit to me. I think you should record it with him.”
I placed the guitar aside and ran my hand through my sweat-soaked hair. “No way. He needs a professional singer to partner with.”
Ace gave me a knowing smirk and held up his phone, tapping the screen. “I don’t know about that. You can’t fake chemistry like yours.”
My face heated as I stood beside him and watched the video of the performance.
It was all there for anyone to see. Admittedly, I was okay, not great, but the two of us together? Yeah, Ace was right. And fuck, watching me and Brodie singing to each other was the sexiest thing in the world.
I was going to be replaying this—a lot.
Notifications popped up on his phone with people commenting.
“Did you post this?”
Ace shook his head. “Nope, but lots of fans did. It was a pretty intense song. I mean, Brodie was in tears, Van. I know it’s not my place, but, are you and him—”
“We don’t know what it is yet,” I replied quickly and immediately regretted how that sounded.
I wasn’t ashamed of my feelings, but I also wasn’t ready to answer questions from other people. Fuck’s sake, Brodie and I hadn’t even kissed yet.
What if he changed his mind?
Ace smiled at me. “I’m not surprised. It’s been building for a while now. I see the way you two look at each other.”
“I’ve never crossed that line with someone I worked with. For.”
Ace shrugged and patted me on the shoulder. “It happens a lot in this business. We’re on the road with each other more than we’re home, and when you bond over somethin’ like music, well, it don’t get much better than that.”
I turned to reply to him, but he’d already stepped away.
Instead of watching the rest of the show, I headed to the VIP room to decompress and deal with the influx of calls and texts on my phone.
And to deal with the group of journalists who were readying for the band’s post-concert interviews.
Most of the reporters were on their phones when I arrived.
I perused social media and saw various versions of the video being shared and commented on. Almost all of it was high praise, people raving about Brodie’s performance and wondering who I was. Not just who I was but who I was to Brodie.
There were also three missed calls from Greg. Shit.
Instead of ignoring them, I stepped back into the hallway for privacy and called him back.
A cold sweat broke out all over my body as I waited for him to answer.
“Van, what the hell is going on?” Greg’s voice boomed in my ear.
“We just performed a new hit single; that’s what’s going on.”
“Why were you on stage with Brodie?”
“It was his idea. He found out that I’m Corley Hewitt, and he wanted to test out ‘Sideline.’”
“Yeah, but why did he need to perform it with you?”
“He asked; I agreed. It’s not complicated, Greg. And it was an honor for me to sing with him. If you’ve seen the videos on social media, you’ll know that the response was overwhelmingly positive.”
“I’ve been watching the videos and photos and reading the comments. And there’s a fuckton of chatter about you. They’re saying there’s something between you and Brodie.”
That statement hit me right in the guts.
In the nuts, too.
Yeah, I more than liked the idea of Brodie being mine.
“What do you want me to say, Greg? I can’t control what people think. He and I have worked closely together for four years. We have trust and friendship and—”
“I get that; I’m not stupid. But if you’re fucking around with my best-selling artist and in direct violation of your contract, then we have a problem.”
I paused, unsure of what, if anything, I should say.
I didn’t want to lie, but also, it was none of his goddamn business at this point. I was protective of Brodie and me, and this new relationship growing between us. It was the best thing to happen to me, and for once, I didn’t care about the implications for my job.
Brodie was a grown man, and so was I, and this was our choice. Neither one of us was heading into this with our eyes closed.
Or maybe I should just up and quit before anything happened. Would that be best?
Then I imagined Brodie’s reaction to that news. He’d probably burn the fucking world down.
“I have to get back to work. I’ve got media here for post-concert interviews.”
“Don’t think I didn’t notice that you didn’t answer my question.”
“If there’s an issue, I will come to you,” I bit out and tapped end.
Yeah, I did. I hung up on my boss.
I wanted to tell Greg to take my contract and shove it up his ass, but the timing was all wrong.
My phone buzzed again.
Greg: We are not done with this. What about Brodie’s date? How the fuck does that play out in all this?
The date still holds.
Greg: No one’s going to buy it now.
Of course they will. He’s a rock star. It’s not like they assume he’s only interested in one person.
Greg: That’s a shit answer, Van. You better have more to say when I call you first thing tomorrow.
My boss was going to be sorely disappointed.
More than he already was.