Chapter 23
brODIE
Normally, I relished a party, especially after a performance.
And this one had great music, strong drinks, and plenty of smoking hot eye candy.
None of that interested me.
Still, all my adrenaline needed somewhere to go. Partying and fucking were the usual outlets. But now there was only one person I wanted to party with, and fuck, if only I could get him alone.
I’d sated some of my appetite, but not nearly all of it.
And it wasn’t easy trying to keep my distance from Van. Not with the way he was looking at me.
I played along with the date routine with Colm for the first hour until the press shots were done. He was great about it, about the whole evening, really. He was charming, funny, and, yeah, hot as hell. A year ago, I would’ve flirted and fucked no problem.
But not now.
And funny enough, I don’t think he was interested in me that way either.
Not when he was busy eye-fucking our sound engineer the entire party. I guess I wasn’t the only one who appreciated an older man.
Ace was the same, tracking the model with hungry eyes. Maybe I could help those two out and, in turn, buy myself more time with Van.
“The press are gone. Why don’t you ask Ace to dance?” I said to Colm.
He let out a nervous laugh.
“I don’t think he wants to dance. Not with me, anyway.”
“Why not? He hasn’t taken his eyes off you all night.”
Colm’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Fuck, yes. I can’t take the flirty tension anymore,” I teased. “Go on.”
Colm nodded, finished his drink, and stood up. “Thanks, Brodie.”
“For what?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Being a nice guy. I’ve met my fair share of assholes in the entertainment industry. I thought you might turn out to be an entitled prick. You know, the usual bad boy of rock. Or at least, that’s what the tabloids like to say. But you’re not.”
“Don’t tell anyone. You don’t want to ruin my image.”
Colm laughed out loud. “I signed the NDA, so we’re good.”
Then he walked across the room and headed to the bar, where Ace and Van were standing and chatting away.
Colm leaned into Ace and said something. Then Ace nodded, and the two of them headed for the crowded dance floor.
I glanced over to watch my man again, but he was gone.
“Looking for your boyfriend?” Holls shouted as he sat down beside me.
“Shut up, Iain.”
He raised his glass and yelled out over the din of the rock music. “Come on, Dee. Clearly, you got some action earlier. You should be relaxed.”
I looked around, but in the packed room with the noise level, no one was paying us any particular attention.
“Can you please lower your voice? He and I are brand fucking new, and not to mention, there’s the issue of Greg finding out.”
Holls leaned in close to me and whisper-shouted. “Tell me everything.”
“Not here. Except to say holy fucking shit.” I held up my still trembling hands as proof.
“He’s a good kisser, right? Van’s got nice lips. And he’s so thorough about everything he does. I bet—”
I shoved his arm. “Don’t goad me. I’m not above kicking your ass.”
“Kicking or kissing it? ’Cause I have to say, I’d prefer the first.”
“Where’s Ronin and Faise?” I asked, changing the topic.
After we’d done our photographs as a band and individually, we’d all celebrated with several rounds of drinks. But then our bassist and our drummer disappeared. And I hadn’t seen them since.
Holls motioned to the left with his glass. “Over there, one of the corner booths. They’re in some deep discussion. I think it’s about Rae.”
I shook my head. “I feel so bad about his brother. I wonder if there’s anything else we can do to help.”
“Give Faise the time he needs after this. We don’t have to be in the studio until the new year.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I was thinking a month off, but you’re right. Two months will do us good. I’ll work on songs with Van.”
“On a serious note, how will this play out with him?”
I turned to face Holls. “What do you mean?”
“If you’re in a relationship with him, how’s that gonna go?
Are you going to tell Greg? What if Greg fires him?
Or if Van stays on, and you guys end up breaking up, what then?
Do we get another manager? Because that’s not optimal.
I really like Van, we all do, and he’s rare in this business.
Someone who’s smart as fuck but also completely trustworthy. I don’t want to jeopardize that.”
“What the fuck, Iain?”
“I’m being a realist, Dee. Come on. When was the last time you had a relationship with someone you fucked?”
I crossed my arms, my party mood taking a serious nosedive.
“Exactly. Never. I hate to burst your love bubble, but you need to think about this shit.”
“I don’t want to think about it,” I bit back. “There’s nothing to think about. I told you I’m ready for this. He’s what I want.”
“I know that. But there are realities here you need to consider. What happens if Van gets another job or Greg re-assigns him? You’re on the road most of the year. Are you going to do long distance?”
I hadn’t thought about that. I didn’t want to.
It never occurred to me that there would come a day when Van wasn’t working with us. He’d always been there. My anchor, my rock.
I leaned forward, placing my head in my hands.
Was Iain right?
Was this what Van was trying to tell me earlier? He said he didn’t want to fuck things up.
I didn’t either.
Not for him, or his career. I wanted him to be happy.
“Can I join you guys?”
Van’s deep voice had me looking up. Once I met those blues, I was helpless.
“I’m going to grab another drink,” Holls stated, patting my shoulder.
I sat back as Van took Holls’s place on the lounger.
“Did I interrupt something important?” Van asked me.
I turned to face him. “Iain was just reminding me that I need to think about you and me and the impact our relationship might have on our work, our dynamic, the band, everything.”
“He’s not wrong.”
“I know that,” I bit out, my frustration mounting.
“But you’re an intuitive person. You make decisions based on feel, not logic.”
“Which isn’t always a good thing. I’m twenty-nine years old, for fuck’s sake. I’ve never had anything beyond a one-night stand. Iain has a point.”
“About what?”
“If Greg re-assigns you, and I’m on the road most of the year, what happens to us?”
My legs bounced, and I gripped my hands tightly together.
Van slid his arm around my shoulders.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I looked around.
“The press is long gone, and this is a private party with NDAs all around,” he replied. “And I have to touch you. You’re upset.”
He was right. I rested my head on his shoulder. All those flutters in my stomach kicked up again.
“Iain’s concerns are valid, and so are yours. We’ll take things one step at a time,” Van reassured me.
I wanted to lean over and kiss him. It felt wrong for me to hold back.
“First off, we have to see how this works out,” Van added. “Like, what are your needs and expectations. And not just in the bedroom, but out of it too.”
“I’d rather talk about the bedroom part first.” I turned to him. “I want you to fuck me. That is, if that’s something you want.”
Van pulled back and swallowed hard. “I got the impression, from things I’ve heard, that you usually, you know, that you prefer to top.”
“Listening to tour rumors again?”
Van shrugged his shoulders. “It’s not a rumor when I see you drag some fan into your hotel room.”
“That still doesn’t explain your assumption.”
Van cocked his head. “I accidentally overheard a guy leaving your trailer. This was, maybe, two years ago? He was very insistent about meeting up again and repeating your… experience.”
I nodded, remembering the guy. Only because he wouldn’t fucking leave when I asked him to go.
“Yeah, it’s true. With hookups, I top. For me, bottoming requires a partner I trust. Implicitly.”
Van gave me a knowing grin. “Me.”
“You. I want you to own me. I want you to fill my ass with your cum.”
“I—” Van licked his lips, a dark stain on his cheeks. “Yeah, I want that. Fuck, I really want that. But, no condoms, are you sure?”
I smiled. “I want to be exclusive. I got tested recently. And I know you haven’t been with anyone in, well, forever.”
“Now who’s making assumptions? Maybe I was being discreet?”
“Nah. You’re wound tighter than my guitar strings,” I joked.
Van reached down and pinched my ass.
“Hey!”
“Brat.”
“But I’m your brat,” I quipped.
Van made a contented growl that told me everything I needed to know.
“Yes, you are mine. And yes, I want to fuck you.”
I moaned out loud. I couldn’t help it. I wanted him with a need so bad my entire body trembled.
Possessive Van was sexy as fuck.
Lucky, lucky me.
“You, me, and that king-size bed in my hotel room.”
“Time to go,” he said, jumping to his feet and holding out his hand.
“Are what about you?” I asked as I placed my hand in his. “What about your expectations? Your needs?”
Thank fuck for the low lighting and dark corners because no one could mistake who we were to each other.
“It’s not complicated. All I need is you.”