Chapter 10
IAIN
Icouldn’t wait until this day was over.
First, that fuck-up of an interview, and now this? Like I needed to watch some hot French dude come on to Dawson?
And the fact that Dawson took his goddamn card?
So, my hookups had to endure the third degree while he’s free to fuck whoever, whenever?
And would he? Was he attracted to Didier? And why the hell did I give a shit?
Fuck this.
“I’m out of here.”
I stepped away from the table before anyone could stop me.
Dawson called my name, but I shook my head and moved like my ass was literally on fire.
I ran down the hallway to the exit, slapped the restaurant door open, and felt the damp winter air wash over me.
It wasn’t raining, but it was misty, and fog had started to roll in, making everything around me hazy.
I turned the corner and leaned against the brick wall of the building.
Reaching inside my jacket, I yanked out my packet of cigarettes and lit one, taking a long drag.
I’d had three, no four, glasses of wine, and I was still tense as fuck.
“Iain!” Dawson called out.
“Don’t! Don’t lecture me.”
“Iain.” Dawson walked over to stand in front of me. “Please don’t run off like that. It’s not safe.”
“According to you, breathing isn’t safe.”
“Not with those cigarettes,” he muttered.
I threw the cig on the ground and glared at him.
“Easy for you to say. You can do whatever the hell you want. Go out when you want and fuck who you want, like master chef back there.”
Dawson shook his head. “I took his card to be polite. I have no interest—”
God, I was so relieved and infuriated at the same time.
“I don’t care!” I yelled. “That’s not my point. Don’t you get it? You have freedom. You can walk out on the street and just… fucking… be!”
Dawson stepped closer, forcing my gaze up. My heart was racing like a getaway car, faster and faster.
“What do you want me to say, Iain? You signed up for this life. And you know what? You’re not the only one who’s stressed out.
I spend each goddamn day monitoring everything that moves around you, assessing threats, and never letting my guard down.
And when I’m not at work, I’m trying to help my son, who, despite his incredibly sunny disposition, is still grieving the loss of his mom.
He’s not even nine, and he barely complains.
And I can’t afford to just up and quit my job because I’m frustrated or because you’re always a pain in my ass! ”
The mention of Jaxon and his mom reminded me of my own, and I blinked back the unwelcome tears that suddenly threatened. It also deflated any remaining anger in my system, making me feel like a whiny fool.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I know. I know that everything you do is to protect me. And that this is the life I signed up for. And I know that I’m not the easiest person to work for—”
Dawson snorted, and the sound had me stifling a chuckle.
“I just… that reporter tonight set me off. Mentioning my mom, and I can’t… I don’t want to go there. I’m terrified that it will be all over the news when I wake up tomorrow. And the last thing I need is more scrutiny.”
And I was also worried that something worse was going on with me.
That maybe my mom’s battle with mental illness wasn’t unique to her.
When I was performing, I felt high and bright, but then, afterward, coming home to an empty house and not being able to do anything without gaining media attention was getting to me.
Or maybe I was just going through an early mid-life crisis.
My sex drive was also unsettling. When I did get it up, I wasn’t exactly enthusiastic. And every hot, available man I met recently didn’t do much for me.
Well, except for…
Dawson placed his hands on my shoulders, and I gripped his forearms, not thinking, just acting on instinct. He was so strong, and I could feel his pulse jumping as fast as mine under his heated skin.
“I’ll reach out to Zoe,” Dawson offered.
“But Harlow is supposed to—”
“She’s the head of PR, not Harlow. Between you and me, I want you to be very careful around him. That whole thing tonight has left me with a bad feeling. And don’t look at social media for the next while.”
“Easier said than done.”
“Is it just that, or is anything else bothering you?”
I stared up into those deep pools of green. “Well, I—”
“Holls, are you okay?”
I turned at Brodie’s voice to find him and everyone in our party standing on the sidewalk staring at us.
Dawson jolted and pulled away from me.
“I’m fine. Sorry I ran out like that. That question about my mom tonight fucked me up.”
Brodie, Ronin, and Faise walked over and surrounded me. “It’s gonna be okay.”
“It will be, thanks,” I squeezed Brodie’s arm. “I don’t know about you guys, but I need sleep.”
“Pot, then sleep.”
“Ronin, pot ain’t legal here,” Faise warned.
“Okay, a nightcap, then sleep.”
We all agreed with that.
The next morning
Someone was banging on my door, but I turned my face into my pillow.
“Iain! Wake up!”
Dawson’s voice was so clear it sounded like he was in my room. I jolted, rolling over so fast that I nearly fell out of my bed.
Half asleep, I reached for my phone and tapped it. It was just after ten.
“No!” I yelled back, unwilling to get out of my warm cocoon.
Not only did I not feel like getting out of bed, but this interruption was depriving me of my morning wank session. And I didn’t want to think about the fact that Dawson’s deep voice made me shiver and made my semi turn into a raging hard-on I couldn’t ignore.
“Get up and get your workout clothes on. We’re going to the gym,” Dawson announced.
Exercise? My boner deflated just like that.
“No!” I yelled back.
“I’m giving you ten minutes to get changed, or I’m opening this door.”
Fuck. This. Man.
I threw off the duvet and walked over to the door, wrenched it open, and stood there, stark naked.
Dawson was already in shorts and a T-shirt, his red hair a spiky mess. He hadn’t shaved, and I was a fan. His eyes ran over me, and I caught the pink flush that ran up his neck and cheeks.
“Get dressed,” he demanded, then reached down into a duffle bag and threw a jockstrap at me. “We’re going to work out some of your frustration.”
“I was about to do that on my own.” I waggled my free hand.
He rolled his eyes.
“And I have much sexier jockstraps than this,” I replied as I glanced at the plain white garment and noticed something different. “Why the cup?”
Dawson smiled. “You. Me. Jiujitsu lesson. Get dressed.”
Then he slammed the door in my face.
Oh, it was on.
I stalked to my bathroom and quickly washed up.
After pulling my hair into a bun, I headed back to my bedroom and searched my closet for workout clothes.
I slipped on the jockstrap, then a pair of black shorts, a matching tank top, and my running shoes.
Normally, I preferred a run on the treadmill or, even better, a run outside, but for now, kicking Dawson’s ass would have to do.
I snorted at the thought of me taking down my bodyguard.
It was never going to happen, but hey, I was gonna do as he said and relieve some frustration.
I walked back over to the connecting door and knocked on it.
As soon as Dawson opened the door, I pushed my way into his room.
“Just so you know, I’m gonna kick your ass for waking me up.”
“You can try.” Dawson chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest. “Please, make yourself at home.”
“I’m just curious to know if you actually sleep.”
I made the mistake of glancing at his bed and the messy sheets. I thought for sure Dawson would be a total neat freak, and his bed would already be made by now, but nope.
Then I pictured him lying on those very same white sheets, his sculpted body laid out like an erotic piece of art.
No, no, no. Don’t go there.
“I do. But I usually only get five or six hours at most. And you know, I kept waking up, what with you talking in your sleep and all.”
“Fuck off, I do not. And you can’t hear through that door.”
“Uh, yeah, I can,” Dawson nodded, a shit-eating grin on his face. “I also heard you singing in the bathroom five minutes ago.”
Now, it was my turn to blush. I didn’t even realize I was singing, but I guess I was always in my own musical world.
“Let’s go. The longer we talk, the harder I want to kick your ass,” I snapped.
Dawson chuckled and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. Then he placed a gentle hand on my lower back, guiding me to the suite’s main door.
A short elevator ride later, we found ourselves in the gym on the twentieth floor. The place was almost empty, with a few people on the treadmills. Dawson guided me to a private workout room.
“Today, we’re going to practice grappling.”
“Sounds painful. What is it?”
Dawson stood in front of me and placed his hands on his hips. “Grappling is sort of like wrestling. It enables a smaller fighter to take on a more aggressive opponent. And combined with striking, it’s very useful in self-defense.”
I was going to wrestle? With Dawson? My brain told me this was not a good idea.
My dick, on the other hand, was all in.
“Ah, that explains the cup. But still, I much prefer to do my wrestling naked. In bed.”
The corner of Dawson’s mouth kicked up as he stepped up close to me.
“Are you ready?”
“That’s a loaded question.”
“Iain,” Dawson warned.
“Go ahead and manhandle me,” I teased. “I’m up for it.”