Chapter 18
DAWSON
If Iain thought we were gonna fuck and forget, he was sadly mistaken. I was not putting my career in jeopardy for a casual screw.
I didn’t know any more than he did about what the future held, but I sure as hell knew this wouldn’t be a hookup.
And I admit I fucking loved teasing him and turning his game around. Gone was his cool rockstar persona. Instead, Iain was flushed and flustered, and he was so incredibly attractive like this. So much so that it had taken all of my willpower not to lean down and taste those sensuous lips of his.
I just knew that once I had my mouth on him, I was never going to stop.
That should’ve scared the shit out of me. This was Iain, who was allergic to anything that resembled a relationship (outside of his friendships). Why, then, did I ignore the warnings in my head and keep pushing forward?
Why did my heart keep pulling me toward him?
I didn’t know the full answer yet, but here I was.
Once I stopped teasing him, he sat beside me on the sofa, and I passed him his plate.
We ate in silence for a few minutes until Iain pointed to the sweatpants I’d loaned him.
“You’re from Philly? How did I not know that?”
“Born and raised. And you never asked. And I don’t talk much about my personal life.”
“I guess we have one thing in common,” he replied in between bites of croissant. “How did you end up in Nashville?”
“I got a job referral from a celebrity client. Someone I used to train one on one.”
Iain cocked his head. “Train?”
I nodded. “Martial arts, mainly judo and jiujitsu.”
“Have you always been into that?”
“I started learning when I was twelve. I desperately needed an outlet. My dad left us, no contact, the year before, and Mom had to work two jobs to pay the bills.” I paused and took a sip of my coffee.
“Let’s just say I had a lot of unresolved anger to deal with.
Anyway, one of my teachers offered judo lessons at a nearby dojo.
I didn’t want to go at first because of the expense.
But Mom insisted on it, along with therapy. She was right.”
“I’m sorry about your dad.”
“I made peace with it a long time ago.” I shrugged.
“But I suppose part of me will always wonder why. When Jaxon was born, my whole world shifted. He’s my everything.
And I couldn’t understand, still don’t, how my dad just left us like that.
But I’ve done my work on it. I have a wonderful family, and I’m grateful. ”
Iain’s big brown eyes surveyed me intently, and then he hesitantly reached over and touched my hand. I wanted so badly to reach over and kiss him, but I was also happy to finally have a real conversation with him. No yelling, no flirting. The real deal.
Then, as quickly as he’d touched me, he pulled his hand back.
“Anyway, my mom’s been a rock,” I continued. “My sisters and I turned out all right and it’s all because of her.”
“What did you do after high school?”
“I started working full time.”
“You didn’t go to college? I’m so glad I’m not the only one.”
“Couldn’t afford to. In my final year of high school, Mom was diagnosed with lymphoma. So, after graduating, I became the sole breadwinner for two years. By that time, I’d gone from being the dojo student to the teacher. Then I started taking on private students on the side.”
“And the bodyguard work?”
“One of my clients was a singer who was relocating to Nashville. He’d just signed a big record deal and mentioned the security company assigned to him was looking for people.
The pay was double what I was earning. I applied, did their three-month training program, and have been working in security ever since. ”
“Was that Bandit?”
“No, Stellar Recordings. Bandit bought them out four years ago. Thankfully, I retained my job.”
“And you like what you do? Well, except for working with me.”
His left knee began to bounce, and I placed my hand on it, giving him a reassuring squeeze.
“I do. Especially working with you. You might drive me crazy sometimes—”
Iain snorted.
“—okay, most times. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Still, I won’t be in this job forever.”
“Are you thinking of leaving?”
I didn’t miss the tentative way he asked.
“It’s getting harder for me to leave Jaxon behind for weeks at a time. Before, when I had shared custody, it worked out. But now, I’m the only parent he has. And he needs me. I just haven’t had time to figure out what the next step is.”
“I’m sure you’ll work it out,” Iain replied, and suddenly stood up. “Well, thanks for breakfast, but I have to get dressed. We’ve got soundcheck at noon.”
What just happened?
“Iain?”
He walked over to the connecting door and unlocked it. “What?”
“You didn’t finish eating.”
“I’m not hungry anymore.” He paused as he reached for the door handle. “And thank you.”
“For what?”
“It’s a good thing we didn’t kiss, yeah? I mean, that would’ve been a big mistake. Right?”
“Would it?”
Without saying another word, Iain left the room.
Iain
I stumbled into my bedroom and ripped off Dawson’s clothes as fast as I could.
Dawson’s admission that he might leave his post sent me into an unexpected tailspin. Suddenly, I didn’t want to smell him or be surrounded by him. Things were moving in a direction I hadn’t anticipated, and I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. Or what Dawson was doing with me.
You’re frustrated. Easily fixed.
Well, not so easily. Dawson was the only guy I wanted, and yet, this attraction went far beyond sex. And I had no idea how to stop it.
A buzzing sound reminded me I’d left my phone on the nightstand. I picked it up and glanced at my messages, reading Brodie’s first.
Brodie: How was the rest of your night?
Iain: I ended up alone. Sort of.
Brodie: What does that mean?
I didn’t sleep with the bartender. I freaked out, and he left. I banged on Dawson’s door, we argued, then we slept together. Well, there was no fucking involved. Just sleeping.
Brodie: Are you serious?
I told him I didn’t want to be alone. It was just the alcohol talking. It’s been a long month.
I noticed three dots appearing…then disappearing.
Brodie: Bullshit! The truth finally came out. You like him. Maybe more than like?
Fuck off. I’m frustrated. That’s all. I don’t like his teasing.
Brodie: ?
He flirts and bosses me around—telling me to get my sexy ass out of the bathroom, and then orders me to eat! Me! Then he almost kisses me, but doesn’t, slaps my ass, and calls me sweetheart. The fuck is that? And still, no sex. My cock is confused, and my head hurts.
Brodie: Including Ro and Faise. Yo, bitches, intense shit is going down with Iain and Dawson.
NOTHING HAPPENED.
Faise: Slap my ass and call me sweetheart? LMFAO
Ronin: Haven’t you been fucking each other all this time? Why is this news?
No, we haven’t, and we won’t.
Brodie: What about last night?
We slept in the same bed, but that was it.
Faise: Sounds like someone’s got it bad for the smoking hot bodyguard
I had a moment of weakness, and it’s over. BTW did you know Dawson is from Philly?
Faise: Total change of subject, but yeah, of course.
I just found out.
Brodie: ?
His sweatpants
Ronin: Explain
He loaned me some of his clothes.
Brodie: Did you enjoy wearing them?
Iain: No comment
Faise: His “Proudly Philly” sweatpants?
You’ve seen them?
Faise: Sure, sometimes we train together.
Doing what?
It better not be jiujitsu. I didn’t want Dawson wrapping his body around anyone but me.
And that line of thought was scarier than this group thread.
Faise: Judo. He’s a great teacher.
Ronin: Agreed
Wait, he trains both of you?
Brodie: Me too. Van likes to watch.
WTF? How did I not know this?
Faise: After you got assaulted in NOLA, I thought it would be a good idea to learn self-defense. He’s awesome.
He’s not grappling with you, is he?
Ronin: No, boo. There’s no naked wrestling involved. That’s just you.
There’s nothing going on!
Brodie: Yeah, just flirting, sleeping together, and calling you sweetheart. Nothing, haha.
He had the chance to kiss me, and he didn’t take it.
Faise: Maybe he’s waiting for you to make the first move. I mean, given your reputation and his job, he’s risking a lot.
So, who’s excited for the first show tonight?
Brodie: Don’t change the subject.
See you guys in an hour
I placed my phone aside and shook off that whole alarming convo.
Shoving that discussion far, far away, I changed into my usual outfit of jeans, a T-shirt, and my leather jacket, but added a scarf and my sunglasses. Throwing on my favorite cowboy boots, I was ready to go. I grabbed my wallet and phone and texted Dawson to let him know I was set.
Then, I carefully folded Dawson’s clothes.
I should’ve knocked on the door and handed them back to him.
Simple. Easy. Last night—and this morning—never happened.
But I didn’t do that.
Instead, I left the clothes on my bed. Seeing them there gave me a sense of comfort I couldn’t explain. But there it was.
And this time, no easy joke came to mind.
I couldn’t even fool myself.